


Human Behavior

by zillah37 (visionshadows)



Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Pop Music RPF, Popslash
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drinking, seriously everyone in pop at some point, teenagers and melodrama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 51
Words: 113,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/zillah37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this was my epic Lambs high school AU that I wrote for like a year around 1999-2000ish. It is totally melodramatic and full of writing that makes me want to face palm now. However, I still think it's a decent story and it was well-loved back in the day. There's very little smut in this story, lots of pot-smoking and drinking, teenagers and adults making bad decisions, and lots of people being very awesome in the face of one (okay two but one redeems herself) person being really not awesome. </p><p>Also, for some reason all the quotation marks and a lot of the punctuation has stripped out of some of the chapters. I have no idea why. It's going to take some time to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

The crowds seemed to part for them, creating a clear path for them to walk through the school. No one dared to block their path. At least not on the first day of school if ever.

Britney Spears held her head high, the brilliant smile she was known for firmly in place. Her highlighted brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail which bounced with each step she took. Her long legs were encased in soft suede pants. Eyes followed the head cheerleader anywhere she went. People feared her.

On her arm was her boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. If Britney was golden, Justin was **fucking** platinum. He was the god of the school; body, beauty, and brains. He was the captain of the basketball team and the starting pitcher for the baseball team. They were the perfect couple.

On Britneys left was Christina Aguleria, her best friend and the current valedictorian of the senior class. She kept her soft blond hair cascading down her shoulders in waves. Her small frame melted against her boyfriends much larger frame.

Joey Fatone was everyones friend, taking the time to talk to and meet everyone in his path. He was the class clown and the president of the senior class, a contradiction for most people, but he pulled it off perfectly. Fiercely loyal and protective, no one messed with him or his friends.

And finally walking next to Justin, the wild card, Lance Bass. The soft-spoken kid from Mississippi who was the star of all of the school plays. He was the wild card because he shouldnt fit in with them, the perfect ones. Lance was the schools token gay boy but they never let anyone touch him. They watched over Lance because he was one of their own and no one dared to cross them.

They were the perfect ones. And no one wanted to touch them. No one dared touch them.

This was their year.

Nothing could go wrong for them.

They were the perfect ones.  
  
---


	2. Chapter 2

Justin groaned softly when his test paper was dropped on his desk. Right on top written in red letters was ‘See me after class Mr. Timberlake.’ 

He heard a groan next to him. Apparently Lance got the same note. For some reason, the two of them were just unable to grasp the concept of calculus. At least Mr. Kirkpatrick was nice enough to spend the extra time with them. 

 

Justin tried to pay attention as Mr. Kirkpatrick taught but his mind was wandering. He and Britney had another fight before last period. Christ, all they did was fight and break-up and then get back together again. Frankly, it was driving him nuts. 

The bell rang but Justin didn’t move. Lance pushed him gently.

“C’mon, Just. We gotta talk to Mr. K.”

Justin nodded and followed the blond up to the front of the class. 

Chris watched the two boys walk to his desk. He wished there was some way he could make the two of them understand math. They both tried so hard, making extra time to study with him after school. Neither of them had gotten higher then a 63 all year. 

“You wanted to see us, Mr. K?” Lance asked. 

“Yeah.” He stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. He hopped on it and looked at the two boys.

“What happened? You guys had this stuff down the other night. Where did it disappear to between then and the test?” 

Justin sighed. “I have no idea. I just sat down to do the problems and I forgot everything.” 

“Not me. I remembered everything. I guess I just remembered it wrong.” Lance shrugged. 

Chris sighed heavily. “You guys have to start passing these tests. Midterms are in two weeks.” 

Justin and Lance exchanged glances. “Can we come over tonight?” Justin asked, pleading with him. 

Chris sighed. “Okay. I’ll be home around 6. If you get there earlier, Josh should be home already.” 

“Thanks Mr. K.” Lance said. He grabbed Justin’s arm and they left the classroom. 

“What did you get?” 

“A 53. What about you?” 

Lance sighed. “A 47. This fucking sucks.” 

Justin nodded in agreement. “Let’s just get to lunch. Brit and I have to do our lunchtime drama or else her day won’t be complete.” He rolled his eyes. 

“That girl is insane, Justin.” 

 

Lance put his tray down on the table and sat down. Joey and Christina were already there, feeding each other lunch as usual. Lance groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“Hello?” He waved his hands at them. Joey managed to pull his gaze away from Christina’s face and look at him. 

“Hey, Lance. Where’s Curly at?” 

Lance gestured to the lunch line. “Getting his food. Hey, Chrissy.” 

“Hiya, Jimmy.” 

Lance grimaced but smiled back at her. She was the only one who got away with calling him Jimmy. Granted, he was the only one who got away with calling her Chrissy, so it was only fair. 

“Where’s the actress at?” Lance looked around the cafeteria for any sign of Britney. 

Christina laughed. “Hey, that’s my girl you’re dissing, Jimmy. But to answer your question, she’s talking to Ms. Bliss at the moment. She’ll be down in a few.” 

Justin sat down and slid into his chair. “Do any of you know what this is?” He asked, pushing his fork into the ‘meat’ on his tray. 

Joey shrugged, taking another bite of the lunch. “They say it’s meatloaf, but it tastes like some sort of fish. I like it.” 

“You eat anything though, Joey.” Lance said as he speared his own piece of ‘mystery meat.’ With a grimace, he put it in his mouth and began to chew. “Hey, you’re right. It’s not half bad.” He took another bite. “Definitely not meatloaf though.” 

Justin decided to take his chances. He was about to put a bite of the ‘meat’ in his mouth when she slapped him. 

“You are a bastard, Justin Timberlake!” Britney screamed at him. With a sigh, Justin pushed his chair back and stood up. 

“Don’t hit me, Britney Jean Spears!” He shouted back at her. 

“I can’t believe you, Justin!” She shouted, her hands on her hips and her eyes blazing at him. 

The other three just continued to eat. This was commonplace for them. All Britney and Justin did was fight and then make-up. 

The rest of the students in the cafeteria were watching in interest. Another episode of ‘As the Lunchroom Turns’ was on starring the perfect ones. 

“What did I do this time? Tell me because I have no clue!” 

She stamped her foot. “You were talking to Mary Beth again! I know you’re sleeping with her! I’m not an idiot.” 

Justin rolled his eyes. “I am not sleeping with Mary Beth. We have class together. We’re lab partners. I have to talk to her!” 

“Yeah, but you don’t need to sleep with her!” 

“I just told you I wasn’t sleeping with her! God, do you ever listen to me?” 

With that, she slapped Justin again and stalked off, her wavy hair bouncing with each angry step. 

Justin sat back down and resumed eating. “Well now that that’s over for the time being, what’s everyone’s plans for the weekend?” He took a bite of his lunch and grimaced, spitting it out. 

“That is not meatloaf.”


	3. Chapter Two

Chris put his arms around Joshs waist and kissed his cheek. Josh smiled happily and turned to kiss him properly.   
    
How was school? Josh asked, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously behind his wire-rimmed glasses. 

Pretty good. Justin and Lance are joining us for dinner tonight. Midterms are rapidly approaching. 

Josh nodded. No problem. I made plenty. Did they do any better on the last test?   
    
Chris popped a carrot in his mouth and shook his head. Nope. Justin got a 53 and Lance got a 47. I dont know what to do with them anymore.   
    
Josh kissed him on the cheek. All you can do is keep trying.   
    
Chris nodded and sat down at the counter. He rested his chin in his hands and watched as his boyfriend finished chopping the vegetables for the salad.   
    
Can I do anything to help?   
    
Josh shook his head. Im pretty much done. I made meatloaf. Hope the boys like that.   
    
Chris chuckled. Theyre teenage boys. Theyll eat anything.   
    
Oh thanks. Now my cooking is just anything. Josh grinned at him.   
    
The doorbell rang. Go get the door. Josh said, shooing him out of the kitchen.   
    


I love you. Chris said. I love you too. Now go let them in. 

    


* * *

  

Justin and Lance stood on the front porch waiting for Mr. Kirkpatrick, uh Chris, to open the door. Neither of them could get used to calling him Chris even though he insisted on it when they werent in school.   
    
The door opened and Chris smiled at the two teenagers. Come on in guys. Dinners almost ready.   
  

Thanks Mr. K...uh thanks, Chris. Lance said as he walked inside.   
  

Hi guys. Josh said as he walked into the dining room carrying the plate with the food on it.   
    
Hi, Josh. They both said in unison. It wasnt a secret that Mr. Kirkpatrick was gay, but very few of his students had actually met Josh. Chris tended to keep him hidden, not wanting to bring his personal life to school.   
    
I made meatloaf. I hope thats okay with the two of you. He said, putting it down on the table.   
    
As long as its better then the meatloaf we had for lunch, itll be fine.   
    
Josh chuckled. I can pretty much guarantee its better then the meatloaf you had for lunch. Go grab something to drink from the fridge and come sit down.   
  

Justin and Lance walked into the kitchen. Justin pulled out the milk and Lance got two glasses. Chris and Josh always had wine during dinner so they didnt have to worry about getting them anything. 

So how are things with Britney, Justin? Josh asked, taking a sip of his wine.   
    
Justin groaned and handed the mashed potatoes to Lance. Were in  a break-up phase again. She thinks Im sleeping with Mary Beth. 

Chris chuckled. Isnt Mary Beth your lab partner? 

Justin nodded. I tried to tell her that, but she wont listen to me.   
    
Lance snorted. She wont listen to anyone. I think that girl just likes the attention the two of you being together brings her.   
    
But whats the big deal about dating me?   
    
Chris and Josh just listened, having heard this conversation before.   
    
Youre Justin. Youre the captain of the basketball team. The star pitcher on the baseball team. Youre smart, attractive, funny. And when someone dates you, all of a sudden, they are popular as well.   
    
Justin blushed. Thanks, Lance. He ate some mashed potatoes and continued to blush.   
    
Chris decided it was time to turn the attention away from the two of them and Britney.   
    
So besides my class, how are the rest of your midterms looking?   
    
Lance smiled. Piece of cake. Well, except for maybe Bliss class. Thats a lot of information to memorize.   
    
Im sure the two of you will do fine. Josh said. 

  
  

* * *

  

Okay try this one. Chris handed them each a problem and went into the living room. Josh was typing on their computer.   
    
Checking email? 

Josh nodded. Hows it going in there?   
    
Not great. Theyre arguing now. I wish the two of them would get over their competitive natures and realize that they would help each other better if they didnt have to beat each other. 

I just wish they would realize that they are attracted to each other.   
    
Chris shook his head. Are you still convinced of that?   
    
Even more so after tonight.   
    
Chris! Can you come here? Justin called from the dining room.   
    
Well talk about this after they leave. Chris said, heading back into the dining room.   
    
Whats up, Justin? Chris sat down and took the paper from him. He looked over it quickly. 

Heres your problem. You have to take the integral not the derivative. Justin sighed and took the paper back.   
    
If it makes any difference, you did the derivative right. It just wasnt what I was looking for.   
    
Lance handed him his paper. Chris looked over it. Good job. You got it.   
    
Lance yawned. Im totally beat. You ready to go, Justin?   
    
Not really. Justin said, not looking up from the paper. Ill walk home.   
    
Lance watched him for a moment with a pensive look in his eyes. He began to gather his stuff up.   
    
Okay. Ill pick you up tomorrow morning. He stood up. Thanks again, Chris. I really appreciate all of this.   
    
Dont worry about it. I want you guys to pass my class as much as you want to.   
    
Lance grinned. Is Josh in the living room? He pointed towards the living room.   
    
Yeah. Chris sat back down.   
    
Im gonna go say goodbye to him. See you in class tomorrow.   
    
Bye, Lance.   
    
Lance walked into the living room where Josh was sitting in front of the computer.   
    
"Hey, Josh. Lance said softly.   
    
Josh turned to look at him. Hi, Lance. Whats up?   
    
I was just heading home. I wanted to thank you for dinner. And for letting me and Justin steal Chris from you for another night.   
    
Josh stood up. Well, Chris wants the two of you to do well. And so do I. So if I have to give Chris up for a while so you guys pass his class, so be it.   
    
Lance smiled. Thanks, Josh.   
    
Josh opened his arms and hugged Lance briefly. No problem.   
    
Lance turned to walk away. He stopped. Umm...Josh?   
    
Josh looked up at him. Yeah, Lance?   
    
Would it be okay if I called you sometime to talk? I could really use an objective ear and Im pretty comfortable with you.   
    
Anytime.   
    
Lance nodded and left the living room. The front door shut and Josh sat back down.   
    
Justin threw his pencil down out of frustration. I just cant understand this, Chris. 

Chris sighed and picked up the pencil. Why dont we call it a night, Justin? You seem tired.   
    
Justin nodded but didnt move. Umm...Chris? Can we talk?   
    
Chris stood up. Sure. Lets go into the living room.   
    
Justin still didnt move. Can just you and I talk? Without Josh?   
    
Chris sat back down. Sure. Whats up?   
    
Justin began to twist his hands together. How do you tell someone you like them?   
    
Chris looked at him quizzically. I dont want to sound stupid, but didnt you have to tell Britney that you liked her at some point?   
    
Justin shook his head. Nope. She took care of it herself. Weve been friends our whole life. One day she decided that we should really be dating too.   
    
But youve been with her for four years now. There must have been something there for you at some point.   
    
Justin looked away from him for a moment. Did you ever go through a denial period about your sexuality?   
    
Chris mouth dropped. Well, yeah. I think everyone does. I dated a girl named Danielle for almost 4 years before I was comfortable enough to say I was gay.   
    
Justin smiled slightly. Do you know thats the first time you ever said you were gay to me?   
    
Chris chuckled. I didnt think I needed to. Its not exactly like its a big secret or anything.   
    
Justin shrugged. I know.   
    
Chris stood up and walked over to Justin. He put his hand on Justins shoulder.   
    
What are you trying to tell me, Justin?   
    
Justin looked up at the older man. I think I left my denial period.   
  

  

* * *

  
Chris couldnt concentrate on the book he was reading. His mind was too full of his conversation with Justin.   
    
Josh looked over at him. Are you okay?   
    
Chris jumped slightly at the sound of Joshs voice. He had been so deep in thought he had forgotten Josh was there.   
    
Yeah. I had an interesting conversation with Justin tonight. Its kind of on my mind.   
    
Can you share or this a private thing?   
    
Chris reached up to touch Joshs cheek. I think I need to keep it private for now. He didnt want to talk about it in front of you.   
    
Josh nodded. I understand.   
    
  
---  
  
 

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[Human Behavior](http://www.because-yes.com/rachel/epics/hb.html)

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	4. Untitled Document

Justin walked up his front steps with his head down. He couldnt believe he had told Mr. Kirkpatrick how he really felt. At least it was someone he trusted.   
    
Justin. A soft voice said. He almost groaned when he heard it. He looked up and she was sitting there. 

Hi, Britney. Have you come to scream at me again for sleeping with someone I never slept with?   
    
He couldnt help the angry tone to his voice. He didnt want to deal with her right now.   
    
I didnt come here to fight anymore. Can we please go inside to talk?   
    
Britney shivered slightly in the cool January air. Justins heart softened. For all their fighting and arguing, he really did love Britney. They had been through a lot together.   
    
Yeah. Lets go grab something warm to drink. It is kinda chilly tonight.   
    
He put his arm around Britney and they headed inside.   
    
Justin, is that you?   
    
Yeah, Mom! Brits here too.   
    
Lynne poked her head out of the den. Hi, Britney. Its good to see you.   
    
Britney smiled brightly at his mother. Its great to see you too, Lynne. I love what youve done with your hair.   
    
Oh thanks dear. Justin, how did the studying go?   
    
Not bad. Not great. Lance and I are going to have to really study our asses off for this midterm.   
    
Justin! Language. Lynne scolded him. 

Sorry Mom. Brit and I are gonna grab something to drink and go upstairs. Okay?   
    
Okay sweetie. Just try not to wake Paul. Lynne went back into the den. Paul was Justins step-father. He worked at night, so he slept in the evening.   
    
Oh, Justin. Lynne stuck her head out of the den again. Your father called. I guess he wants you to call him back eventually.   
    
Thanks Mom.   
    
Britney followed her boyfriend into the kitchen. How are things with your dad?   
    
Justin shrugged. Same as usual. Why am I still living here when I could be living with him? I dont call enough. I dont visit enough. Jon and Steven miss me. The usual.   
    
He held up a box of hot chocolate for her approval. She nodded.   
    
Im sorry about today, Justin. Britney said softly. He sighed as he put the two mugs in the microwave.   
    
Youre always sorry after you embarrass me in front of the whole school. Did you apologize to Mary Beth?   
    
Britney nodded. I called her after school. She wasnt too thrilled to hear from me.   
    
Can you blame her? You basically accused her as well as me at lunch today. Now the school thinks she slept with your boyfriend.   
    
Are you still my boyfriend?   
    
Justin sighed. Well, we never actually broke up this time. We just screamed a lot. So yeah, I guess Im still your boyfriend.   
    
Britney grinned and pulled him in for a kiss. How about some make-up sex then? She licked his earlobe teasingly.   
    
Justin pulled away from her abruptly. My parents are home. He walked over to the microwave even though the timer hadnt gone off.   
    
Thats never stopped us before.   
    
It probably should have.   
    
The timer went off and Justin pulled the mugs out, stirring them. He handed one to her and they headed upstairs, neither of them speaking.   
    
Justins bedroom was the attic. He loved it because it was the biggest room in the house. He had it divided up into a bedroom area, a sitting area complete with TV and video games, and a school area.   
    
Britney sat down on the couch and waited for Justin to join her. He sighed softly and sat next to her.   
    
So why did you come over tonight? He asked, putting his arm around her.   
    
To apologize mostly. And to have a little Britney/Justin time. We havent gotten much of that lately.   
    
I know. Weve both been really busy lately. Between school, basketball, and work I feel like I never get a break. 

Britney rested her head on Justins shoulder. And you spend all your free nights studying with Mr. Kirkpatrick and Lance. I miss you, Justy. 

I miss you too, Bits. I wish I could make more time for us, but I need to pass Mr. Ks class.   
    
Britney sighed. Dont you and Lance feel weird spending time with him?   
    
Why would we feel weird? Hes a really great guy.   
    
I know, but hes gay.   
    
Sos Lance.   
    
Its different with Lance. Hes Lance. Mr. Kirkpatrick is a teacher. Its gross that hes gay.   
    
Justin stiffened slightly. That doesnt really matter to me. I dont care about that. Hes nice and he takes a lot of time with Lance and me so well pass the course.   
    
Has he ever, ya know, tried anything?   
    
Britney! Justin pushed her off of him gently. That is a terrible thing to ask!   
    
He stood up and began pacing around. But you didnt answer me, Justin.   
    
No. Hes never tried anything. Hes got a boyfriend that hes very happy with.   
    
Wait. You and Lance go over his house and hes got another man living there with him. Yuck.   
    
Justin balled his hands into fists. Lets just drop it, Britney. Do you want to go out to dinner next weekend?   
    
Britney smiled happily. Of course. Someplace fancy?   
    
Justin sighed and sat back down next to her. Sure. Well go to that little Italian place you like so much.   
    
Britney snuggled up against him. Great. 

  


* * *

Justin awoke to a soft knocking on the window by his bed. He rolled over and waved to Joey. He climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Britney. Surprise, surprise, they had ended up having sex.   
    
He opened the window for Joey, who climbed inside. 

Damn, its cold tonight. Joey whispered. Justin nodded and pointed to the bed.   
    
Ah shit. Sorry man. I thought she left by now.   
    
Justin shrugged. Dont worry about it. Better you wake me then my mom. I would hate to have her find Britney still here in the morning. That would be death for sure.   
    
Joey gestured towards the roof. Wanna go have a smoke on the roof and talk?   
    
Justin nodded. Let me slip on a sweater and some pants. Ill meet you out there.   
    
Justin and Joey had grown up next to each other. They were born about a week apart and had been best friends their whole life. When they were 10, they had discovered that the huge palm tree between their houses connected their rooms. So ever since then, they had just climbed over to each others rooms for a goodnight chat and as they got older a goodnight smoke.   
    
Justin climbed out on the roof and sat next to Joey.   
    
I guess you guys made up again. Joey gestured to Justins room.   
    
Yeah. Justin shrugged.   
    
Joey pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit it. He took a pull and handed it to Justin.   
    
Good stuff tonight. Justin said, handing it back to Joey, who nodded.   
    
Yeah. I finally figured out how to grow it and make it good to smoke too.   
    
Joey had been experimenting with hydroponics for some time now. It was rare though that he pulled out his home-grown stuff with anyone else but Christina. Usually he just smoked the stuff he sold with the guys.   
    
Whats the occasion?   
    
Joey exhaled and looked at him. I got my acceptance to FSU today.   
    
Justin smiled at him. Thats great, Joe. Congratulations.   
    
Joey shrugged. I guess. Got me thinking though. Whats going to happen next year?   
    
What do you mean?   
    
Joey looked up at the stars. It was a clear night, the stars were everywhere.   
    
Whats going to happen to the five of us when we all go off to college? Weve never been apart from each other for more then a month in years. Not since Lance moved here and we became the Fab Five in third grade.   
    
Well stay in touch. None of us are going to go that far.   
    
Joey shook his head. Chrissy got her acceptance to Princeton. Shed be stupid to turn it down for FSU.   
    
Justin exhaled heavily. Scholarship and everything. Joey said softly.   
    
Damn. I knew she was smart, but damn. Princeton.   
    
Joey nodded. And to think, shes the same girl who used to put peanut butter on your desk in elementary school.   
    
Justin laughed. Id forgotten about that. Chrissy was always a little hellraiser.   
    
Joey smiled. Thats part of the reason I love her. Shes not what you expect when you look at her.   
    
I wish Britney was like that. What happened to her over the years?   
    
Joey put his arm around Justin. She became an actress. Brit still has some moments where shes the old Brit like when its just the five of us. Theyre just few and far between now.   
    
Justin shrugged. I just wish I knew her better. I still have this picture of a little girl in pigtails and scraped knees in my mind when I look at her. I think thats the Brit I fell in love with. Not this perfect little cheerleader actress shes become.   
    
Do you still love her?   
    
Sometimes. When she pulls stuff like she did today, I can barely stand to look at her. Is it sick to be used to that though? 

Joey shook his head. Britneys been playing the drama queen with your relationship almost from the start. Hell, all if us, even Christina, are surprised youve put up with it this long. 

Justin looked at him. I cant break-up with her though. I think it would tear the five of us apart. 

Hey Just, do me a favor. Think about you for once. Not the rest of us. Well get past it. Weve all been friends for so long that we arent going to stop talking to either of you. 

Joey laughed. Shit man. You, me, Chrissy, and Brit used to take baths together when we were kids. You cant kill bonds like that just by breaking up with someone. 

Yeah well, first I gotta convince Lance hes in love with me. Justin said laughingly. 

Joey laughed as well. It was a long-running joke in the group that Justin and Lance were in love with each other. Well, ever since Lance had told them he was gay in 9th grade. Little did Joey know how close to the truth he was, at least on Justins end. 

How did Lances audition go? I keep forgetting to ask him. 

Justin smiled and pulls the sleeves of his sweater over his hands, trying to keep warm. 

He says he did terribly but we all know thats Lances way of calming himself down. Justin frowned a little. Im going to miss him a lot. 

Hes not going that far. Besides, you got that scholarship to FSU if you want to take it, which you really should. Thats like gold, Justin. 

I really like Georgia Tech more. Justin shrugged. I have to talk to Dad about all this anyway. Ill take the scholarship if we cant swing another school. 

There was a rustle in the palm tree and Christinas head popped up. She grinned and scrambled the rest of the way onto the roof.   
    
I kinda guessed yall were up here. I tried throwing rocks at Joey's window, but no one answered. She leaned over and planted a kiss on her boyfriends lips. 

Wheres Brit, Justin? She asked. I tried her house too. Mom told me she came to see you.   
    
In bed. I guess Ill wake her since everyone is here.   
    
Not everyone is here. Lance isnt here.   
    
A blond head popped up. Yes he is. I couldnt sleep and I saw you guys on the roof, so I thought I would come over.   
    
Lance climbed on the roof and sat next to Justin. Hand over the good stuff, Joey.   
    
Joey pulled another joint out and handed it to Lance. Ill go wake Britney. Justin said with a sigh.   
    
Dont. Christina said, pulling Justins sleeve. Let her sleep.   
    
Justin looked at Christina quizzically, but sat back down.   
    
Whats up, Chrissy? Lance asked. The two of them could practically read each others minds, they were so close.   
    
I hate to spread rumors about one of my best friends, but I heard something today that has the possibility of being true.   
    
Justin sighed and threw his head back to look at the stars. Do I want to hear this, Christina?   
    
Probably not, but I think you should.   
    
Justin looked back at her and just nodded. Then tell me.   
    
I have it on good authority shes been sleeping with Nick.   
    
Joey snorted. Carter? Who told you that?   
    
AJ did. And AJ never lies.   
    
Bullshit. AJs lied before. Remember in 4th grade when he put gum in your hair. He said Howie did it. That was a lie.   
    
Christina smacked Joey in the shoulder. Hes never lied about anything important. Besides, he and Nick are best friends. If Nick was banging Britney, you know he would have told AJ.   
    
Did ya ask D? Cause you know that Ds the only real authority with those guys.   
    
Christina sighed. I didnt see Howie today. Ill talk to him tomorrow.   
    
Lance put arm around Justins shoulder. You okay, man?   
    
Justin shook his head. He felt sick. Nick Carter for christs sakes. Why didnt she just sleep with Joey or someone? They were friends. Not as close as he was with Joey and Lance, but they were pretty close. Christina had brought the two groups together. AJ was her cousin. So all of them hung out. How long had Britney been sleeping with Nick? How long had they been laughing at him behind his back?   
    
Fine. You didnt see D. Did you ask Kevin or Brian?   
    
Christina rolled her eyes. Kevin and Brian are at college, Joe. I wasnt going to call them up to ask if Britney is sleeping with Nick.   
    
Justin put his hands to his eyes, trying not to cry.   
    
Then you have no real proof besides your cousins word. And weve already determined that AJ is not the most reliable source.   
    
Just shut the fuck up! Both of you. Shut the fuck up! Justin shouted.   
    
Everyone froze. Justin cursed. He never cursed. Get off my roof now. I dont want to talk about this.   
    
Joey nodded. Okay man. Well see you tomorrow.   
    
Bye Justin. Im sorry. Christina said as she followed Joey off the roof.   
    
Lance squeezed Justins shoulder tightly. Itll be okay, man. Im sure its not true.   
    
Justin shook his head, the tears falling now. Its true, James. I know its true.   
    
Lance hugged Justin tightly, letting him cry on his shoulder. Justin was really upset. Not only did he curse, but he was crying and he called him James. This was bad.   
    
And Britney was still asleep in his bed.   
  
---  
  
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	5. Untitled Document

Lance handed Justin a cup of coffee when he slid in the car. Justin took it gratefully.   
    
Thanks.   
    
I kinda guessed you might have needed it this morning and I know Lynne would have never let you have any. Did you get any sleep last night?   
    
Not really. I woke Britney after you left and made her go home. After that I kind of played video games until about 6. Then I got in the shower. I may have slept for a few minutes in the shower.   
    
Joeys driving him, Chrissy, and Brit in this morning. So you dont need to deal with her right away.   
    
Justin nodded. Thanks.   
    
They didnt say anything the whole way to school. This wasnt the first time Lance had done the morning after ride with Justin. This was the first time it had been cheating though. This was something that they hadnt had to deal with in the group before.   
    
All the times Britney accused Justin of cheating, everyone knew it was just an exaggeration. Justin had never cheated on her. It was just Britney bullshit and they knew it. This was real.   
    
Lance pulled into a spot near the school. You ready? 

Justin shrugged. Do I have much of a choice?   
    
They walked down the street still in silence. Yo! Timberlake!   
    
Justin froze. Lance turned to look. Hi Carter.   
    
Nick walked over to them with a smile on his face. How are my boys doing? 

Lance nodded. Not bad, Nick. How are you?   
    
Nick slapped Lances hand. Good. Good. Yo, Bri called. Theres this huge bash at the frat he and Kev are in next weekend. Wanna go? The whole gangs in, including the twin terrors.   
    
Ill run it by the others. Well let you know.   
    
Sweet. Nick slapped his hand again. Catch ya later, Justin.   
    
Justin nodded and waved bye to Nick.   
    
Great. The person I didnt want to see this morning. Justin said.   
    
Justy!   
    
Justin groaned. And here comes the other person. He put on a fake smile.   
    
Britney threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Hi, Britney.   
    
Come on. Joey and Christina are waiting by Joeys car. Missed you two on the way in this morning.   
    
Lance nodded, taking her arm. Well sweetie, Justin and I wanted to get some hot man-on-man action going before school. You know how it is. Sometimes a hard-on waits for no woman.   
    
Justin smiled gratefully at Lance while Britney just giggled. Lance winked at him and pulled Britney down the street towards the other two. 

Joey watched Lance act all queenie. Justin must still be really upset. It was rare that Lance turned on the queer to distract Britney anymore. When he had first come out, she had loved it. Now it was getting old, especially since Lance was so uncomfortable when he acted gay.   
    
Ready for class? Christina asked. Lets go suffer through Bliss torture. 

  


* * *

     
Justin doodled absentmindedly in his notebook. Ms. Bliss was lecturing on the Vietnam War. This was the only class all five of them had together all day. Usually, everyone was pretty animated and happy despite the fact it was first period.   
    
Not today.   
    
Britney was paying attention for once. Joey was sleeping as usual. Christina was taking notes attentively.   
    
And Lance was staring out the window. Justin let his gaze linger on Lance for a moment.   
    
Mr. Timberlake. Would you care to answer the question for me?   
    
Justin jumped slightly. Umm...what was the question?   
    
Ms. Bliss rolled her eyes. What was the TET offensive?   
    
TET offensive. TET offensive. Justin racked his brain. He knew he knew this one.   
    
Well in January there was a truce to celebrate the lunar New Year. It was called TET. The North Vietnamese and the Vietcong joined forces in a massive offensive which was later named the TET offensive.   
    
Ms. Bliss nodded. Very good, Ms. Aguleria. Next time, let Mr. Timberlake answer for himself.   
    
Christina blushed deeply and looked back down at her notebook. Justin crumpled up the piece of paper Christina had slipped him.   
    
  

* * *

  
Mr. Timberlake. Would you care to do the problem on the board for me?   
    
Justin groaned and grabbed his homework. At least he knew the answer was right since he did it at Mr. Kirkpatricks last night.   
    
Chris smiled at him as he passed. Justin barely acknowledged it as he unconsciously transferred the problem onto the chalkboard.   
    
Lance watched him move, admiring the fluid motion of Justins body as he wrote on the board and his curly hair peeking out of the back of the bandanna he wore.   
    
Christ. Lance looked away. He looked back down at his notebook and began to trace the design on the front. It was this flame tattoo design he had come up with a while ago. He was still trying to convince Joey and Justin to get it too.   
    
Mr. Bass. 

Lance looked up at the sound of Chris voice. Yes, Mr. Kirkpatrick?  
    
Did Mr. Timberlake do the problem correctly?   
    
Lance stared at the board for a moment. He looked down at his paper, comparing the two answers.   
    
"Yeah. Justin did it right.   
    
Chris smiled. Very good. You may sit down, Mr. Timberlake. Now moving on. Justin sat back down and smiled over at Lance. He gave him one of those piercing smiles that broke the girls hearts.   
    
And as always, it made Lances heart flutter.   


  

  

* * *

Mr. Timberlake. May I talk to you for a few minutes? Chris asked as Justin walked by the table.   
    
Catch you downstairs, man. Lance said. See ya, Mr. K.   
    
Bye, Lance.   
    
Chris got up and shut the door. He sat back down on his desk. Justin hopped up on a desk and looked at him.   
    
So whats up, Justin? You seem very out of it.   
    
Justin sighed. I dont really want to talk about it right now.   
    
Chris nodded. No problem. Are you working tonight? 

Justin shook his head. Well, Josh is going out tonight. Wanna do a pizza night? We can talk then. If you want to that is.   
    
Wheres Josh going?   
    
Chris chewed on his lip for a moment. Actually he and Lance are getting together. Something about needing to talk to someone. Josh wasnt too forthcoming with details.   
    
Justin nodded. He likes Josh. Justin winced at the look Chris gave him. Not like as in like. Friend stuff. Sorry.   
    
Chris sighed. Its okay. I know that Lance isnt attracted to Josh like that. I cant help it if I get a little jealous. Lance is an attractive guy.   
    
Justin blushed. I know.   
    
Chris chuckled. You know this is fairly amusing. The first time you and Lance came over for dinner and met Josh, he swore that the two of you were attracted to each other. I think this is the first time hes ever been right.   
    
Lance doesnt like me like that.   
    
Chris walked over to Justin and squeezed his shoulder. Well talk about it later on. You in?   
    
Justin nodded. Im in. 

  


* * *

     
Okay, my turn. Joey said in a sing-song voice. Finish this line.   
    
Justin put his tray down on the table. He leaned over and kissed Britney on the cheek. What are we doing? He whispered.   
    
Finish the movie line.   
    
Joey took a deep breath. I just had a guys finger in my ass. He mumbled.   
    
Is it Friday already? Lance replied smugly.   
    
Hot damn! Joey stood up and gave Lance a high five. You are so fucking good at this game.   
    
You drag us to so many damn movies, Joey. Of course Im good at this game. I actually watch the movie unlike the rest of yall.   
    
So whats it like, Lancey-poo? Joey asked smugly.   
    
What is what like?   
    
Having a guys finger in your ass. 

Christina smacked him. What? Joey asked innocently.   
    
Well, Joey. Id be happy to demonstrate. Bend over.   
    
Nah. Ill pass. You can finger Justin though. Ill stay with Chrissy sticking her finger up my ass.   
    
Im eating here, Joey! Justin shouted. 

Christina had her head in her hands, mortified that Joey would say something like that. I swear, Joey. You are the most socially maladjusted person Ive ever met. I cant believe Ive dated you for so long. 

And you love me too. Whats that say about you? 

That I need psychiatric help. Dont forget you have a class meeting after school, before basketball practice. 

Joey kissed her cheek. Thanks, sweetie. Im glad I have you around to remind me of these things. Any clue what its for? 

Christina rolled her eyes and dug her datebook out of her bag, handing it to Joey. I wrote it down for you. God, for our class president you are the most unorganized and forgetful person. Why did I vote for you again? 

It was the sex. Joey grinned looking at the datebook. Right. The car wash next month. 

Justin leaned over and whispered in Lances ear. Youre going out with Josh tonight? 

Lance looked at him in surprise. Yeah. Howd you know?   
    
Im chilling with Chris tonight. He told me.   
    
Lance nodded. Cool. Wanna grab a smoke afterwards?   
    
Sure. Say 10:30?   
    
Lance grinned. See you on your roof then.   
    
Justy. What are you doing tonight?   
    
Justin jumped. Im working tonight. Sorry.   
    
Until when?   
    
Umm...12. Im closing tonight.   
    
Joey and Christina gave Justin a strange look, but let it drop. Joey began to play with his French fries making them march across the table to Christinas pudding.   
    
Dont even think about it, Fatone. Christina warned him. Joey pouted and marched the French fries towards Lances pudding. Lance just sighed and moved his pudding into the middle of the table so Joey could dive-bomb the French fries into it.   
    
Oh. Lance said, sitting up straight. Nick told me and Just that there was a party at Kev and Bris frat next Friday. He wanted to know if were in.   
    
Probably. Whos going? Joey asked, putting a French fry on Christinas shoulder. She just brushed it off and put a spoonful of pudding on Joeys nose.   
    
Beats me. Probably the usual gang. Us, them, Jeff, Justin, Nick, and Drew.   
    
Do you two ever get tired of being the only girls in the usual gang? Lance asked Britney and Christina.   
    
Nah. I love it. I get to be one of the guys that way. Christina laughed. How else am I going to get to scratch, burp, and fart without being looked at strangely?   
    
Britney laughed. Its all good. Weve been the groups girls for so long its no biggie anymore. Doesnt bother me either. Why? Do you wanna be one of the groups girls too?   
    
Lance shook his head and tossed a carrot at her, which she deftly ducked.   
    
Nah. Ill continue being the gay one. 

Joey chuckled. Im sure Justinll join you in being the gay one if you ask really nice.   
    
Justin slammed his fist down on the table. Would you please quit doing that! Im sick of it! He pushed his chair back and walked out of the lunchroom.   
    
Whats with him? Joey asked amazed out how Justin had reacted.   
  
---  
  
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	6. Untitled Document

So tell me what Christina told you. Chris said, sitting down on the couch next to Justin. He stuck one foot under him and reached for a slice of pizza.   
    
Justin sighed and took a bite of the pizza. She told me that AJ, her cousin, told her that Nick told him that Nick and Britney were sleeping together.   
    
Chris took a moment to run it through his head. Okay. Nick Lachey and AJ McLean, right?   
    
No. Nick Carter. 

Okay. Wanted to make sure I had the right guys. Is AJ trustworthy?   
    
For the most part. He doesnt lie to Christina. I think his mom would kill him if he did.   
    
Chris chuckled. Yeah, Moms can be that way. Mine always was.   
    
Mine too. Justin took another bite of pizza and watched Chris for a moment.   
    
So do you think shes cheating on you?   
    
Justin nodded. Yeah I do. That would explain why shes started trying to bait me more often then usual. Shes trying to make me slip up so she can break up with me and make it look like Im the bad guy.   
    
Bait you?   
    
Justin took a sip of soda. Britney likes to do and say things to piss me off. Like when she screamed at me for sleeping with Mary Beth. Stuff like that.   
    
Chris sighed and picked at the toppings on the pizza. He popped a piece of pepperoni in his mouth before saying anything.   
    
Can I change the subject?   
    
Justin nodded.   
    
What about your feelings for Lance?   
  

* * *

  
Josh chewed on a piece of garlic bread as he watched Lance play with his spaghetti.   
    
How did you meet Chris? Lance asked.   
    
Josh blushed. Obviously anything I say about my relationship with Chris doesnt leave this table. I dont want anything happening to his job.   
    
Of course. Id never say anything.   
    
Chris and I met four and a half years ago at college. He was finishing up his masters in Mathematics and Education. I was in my junior year of college getting my degree in engineering. He just happened to be my TA for my differential equations class.   
    
Lance chuckled. Love in math class.   
    
Josh laughed. Yeah, sort of. Nothing happened until we literally bumped into each other at a gay club. Neither of us knew the other person was gay. We started talking after that. Ill have to show you a picture of him then. Chris was sporting some strange ass dreads. Josh laughed and put his glass down. 

One thing led to another and here we are. Weve been together for four years. Were both happy and in love.   
    
Is Chris the one for you?   
    
Josh nodded. I think so. Josh blushed. Actually I know so. He completes me. I cant imagine my life without him anymore.   
    
Im gay, Josh. Lance blurted out.   
    
I know.   
    
Lance blushed. How did you know?   
    
Josh chuckled. Well, I had a hunch the first time I met you. Then Chris told me you were.   
    
Oh. Okay. Lance chuckled. And to think, I thought I was telling you a big secret.   
    
You are pretty much out, right?   
    
Lance nodded. I told all my friends in 9th grade. The rest of the school pretty much figured it out. I told my parents at the same time. I think my grandparents are still in the dark.   
    
Have you dated anyone?   
    
Yeah. A couple guys. Nothing really serious. Why?   
    
Josh shrugged. Curious thats all. So what was the real reason you asked me out tonight?   
    
Lance blushed. No more beating around the bush, huh? He took a sip of water. How do I tell someone that Im attracted to them? Especially if Im not totally sure that the person is gay? He took another drink.   
    
Oh, Justins gay, Lance. Dont worry about that. Josh said matter-of-factly.   
    
Lance spit the water out in shock. 

  


* * *

Justins eyes got a dreamy look in them at the mention of Lance. Chris cleared his throat slightly, bringing Justin back to reality.   
    
Lance. Okay. How do I feel about Lance?   
    
That was the question I asked. Chris said in an amused tone.   
    
Lance and I have been friends since the first day of third grade. This kid with a strange accent from Mississippi walked into our class holding a He-Man lunchbox. Well, Joey being Joey, stole the lunchbox. Instead of running to the teacher and crying, Lance retaliated by stealing Joeys Mr. T lunchbox, thereby endearing himself to us forever.   
    
Justin let out a peal of laughter, remembering that day. Joey, naturally ran to the teacher and cried, but we were used to that. You wouldnt know it by looking at him now, but Joey was always the klutzy, little kid that everyone laughed at. Brit, Chrissy, and I protected him. And so did Lance when he got there.   
    
Now Joey protects the rest of us.   
    
Chris sat back and listened, knowing that Justin was going to get around to telling him eventually. He got the distinct impression Justin had a lot going on in his life, and living in the memories of the past were helping him deal with it.   
    
We used to have sleepovers when we were kids. A whole big group of us. Joey, Lance, Brit, Chrissy, and me of course. Then the extension of our group was Chrissys cousin AJ, Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell, and Kevin Richardson. Kevin and Brian were a year ahead of us, but they lived on either side of Howie and down the street from AJ, so they hung out with us. Besides, Lance had a pool. None of us had a pool until he moved in.   
    
Justin ran his hand through his curly hair. I flipped out on everyone at lunch today. Joey made another crack about me being gay. I guess it just finally got to be too much.   
    
Why would Joey make a crack about you being gay?   
    
Ever since Lance came out, thats been the running joke in the group, that Lance and I are together since were so close.   
    
Chris nodded. Hitting a little too close to home.   
    
Theres always been something about Lance. Hes always made me feel special and happy. Even when were fighting, I still like him more then I do most people. Chris, I cant stop thinking about him.   
    
Chris slid over and put his arm around Justin. Then tell him that.   
    
Justin shook his head. I cant. What if he doesnt feel the same way?   
    
Youll never know unless you try.   
  

* * *

    
How do you know hes gay? Lance asked in shock, wiping the water off his chin.   
    
Josh shrugged. I just know. Trust me on that, Lance. And trust me that the boy is mad about you as well.   
    
But...how can you be sure?   
    
Josh pushed his chair back slightly. Its called gaydar. Over the years, mine has gotten to be quite sensitive. I had him pegged before I pegged you as gay. And Ive seen how he looks at you, Lance.   
    
So what should I do?   
    
Tell him how you feel.   
  
---  
  
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	7. Untitled Document

Justin sat on the roof waiting for Lance to show up. Joey had already done his nightly chat and smoke, leaving a joint for Justin and Lance to share.   
    
Joey was doing better today with the whole college thing. He also apologized profusely for pissing Justin off today. He promised to cool it with the whole gay thing.   
    
It was cool again tonight. Justin had just grabbed a blanket and dragged it out with him. He was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a T-shirt.   
    
Hey. Lance said, climbing onto the roof next to him. Justin grinned.   
    
Hey yourself.   
    
Lance sat next to Justin, looking at him with a goofy smile on his face. You look like youre ready for bed.   
    
Justin shrugged. I got back from Chris at 9ish. I decided to get comfortable and play some video games until you got here.   
    
Lance gestured towards Joeys house. Did he already come over?   
    
Justin nodded. Joeys light was still on, but he knew that Joey was down for the night. Besides, Christina had climbed into his window about fifteen minutes earlier.   
    
Good. I kinda wanted tonight to be just you and me. Lance said softly, not meeting Justins eyes.   
    
Me too. Justin whispered.   
    
Did you talk to Brit about everything today? Lance asked, hugging his knees to his chest.   
    
Justin shook his head. I dont want to talk to her right now. I just dont want to deal with that.   
    
Lance nodded. I kinda guessed that. He shivered slightly.   
    
Are you cold? Justin asked. 

Lance shook his head. Im fine. 

Justin unwrapped the blanket around his shoulders and rewrapped it around both of them, ignoring the fact Lance said he was okay.   
    
Lance smiled gratefully and slid closer to Justin. Their legs were pressed together.   
    
Justin swallowed nervously. How was your dinner with Josh?   
    
Good, Lances voice shook slightly. We talked about a lot of stuff. Hes really easy to talk to.   
    
Lance laughed. He told me about when he and Chris met. Did you know Chris used to have braids?   
    
Justin laughed. No. That must have been funny.   
    
Josh said he would show us a picture the next time we came over.   
    
Justin rested his head on Lances shoulder without thinking. It just felt right. Lances arm slipped around Justins waist, pulling him closer as they talked.   
    
Chris and I talked about Britney and that crap. I also told him about old times. Like the sleepovers we used to have and the day we all met.   
    
Lance let out a peal of laughter. The day Joey stole my lunchbox.   
    
Yup and the day you stole his.   
    


* * *

  

Move over. I cant see. Christina said, pushing Joey out of the way. 

I offered to let you use the binoculars, but you said this was dishonest. You said we shouldnt be spying on them. Joey said, holding the binoculars out of her reach. 

Christina kicked him in the shin, causing him to bend over in pain. She grabbed the binoculars and resumed watching Lance and Justin. 

I wish I could hear what they were saying. Joey said. 

Hush. Im trying to read their lips. Christina watched them carefully. Lance just said the day Joey stole my lunchbox. They must be talking about 3rd grade. 

What did Justin say? 

Yup and the day you stole his. Joey grabbed the binoculars and looked back at them.   
    


* * *

Justin didnt want to move. He and Lance had just been sitting in silence basically, holding each other for the past ten minutes, occasionally saying something before falling back into silence. Justin was trying to get up the guts to say something to Lance. 

Lance? Justin whispered. 

Yeah, Justin? 

Justin took a deep breath, steeling his nerves. Can I kiss you? 

Lance didnt answer. He turned Justins head to face his own and leaned in, kissing him softly. 

Their lips met for the briefest of moments before Lance pulled away in surprise, realizing what had just happened. 

Justin? Lance managed to put so many different questions into that one word that Justin didnt know where to start. 

Justin sighed and looked away. After a moment, he put his head back on Lances shoulder and reached for his hand, intertwining his fingers with Lances. 

Can we just sit here? I dont know what to say right now, but I just want to be with you. Justin whispered. 

Lance squeezed Justins hand. Sure.   
    
  

* * *

Oh my God. Christina said breathlessly. They kissed. 

Joey sat back. So its true. That explains so much. 

Christina put the binoculars down and sat on Joeys lap. You okay? 

Joey nodded. Yeah. I mean its not like its a real surprise to me. I always knew there was some truth to the joking. 

Christina stroked his cheek gently. This isnt going to change anything between you and Justin. The two of you will always be best friends. 

Joey nodded, looking back at the two men sitting on the roof. 

This is going to change things though. 

Christina kissed him softly. Can I stay here tonight? I really want you to hold me. 

Joey smiled. Sure. I think I need to hold you too.   
    
  
---  
  
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	8. Untitled Document

  
Justin? Lynne knocked on Justins bedroom door softly. Justin rolled over and groaned. He felt his arm brush against something solid. Justins eyes opened all the way and saw Lance sleeping next to him.   
    
Oh shit. Justin scrambled out of bed and ran over to his door. He opened it up a crack and peeked out.   
    
Hi Mom.   
    
Lynne smiled at him. Oh you are awake. I didnt hear any moving.   
    
Yeah, Im awake. Thanks for checking. Justin tried to shut the door but Lynne pushed it back open.   
    
Is everything okay with you and Britney? Mrs. Spears called me last night and said that Britney was distraught about your relationship.   
    
Justin sighed. Were just going through some things right now. Thats all. Everythings fine.   
    
Okay. Well, I made breakfast. You can take some with you. Lance should be here to pick you up in 10 minutes.   
    
Thanks Mom. 

Justin managed to shut the door. He ran back over to the bed. Lance hadnt moved.   
    
Justin leaned over and gently shook Lance. Lance? Wake up.   
    
Lance buried his head deeper into the pillow. Justin wanted nothing more then to let him sleep, but they couldnt get caught. They had to get to school.   
    
Lance. Get up! Justin shook him harder. Lance woke up with a jolt. He sat up and stared at Justin.   
    
Oh shit. We fell asleep. We werent supposed to fall asleep.   
    
I know. But we did. Justins hand tentatively reached out to touch Lances face. He cupped Lances chin in his hand and leaned over. Justins lips met Lances in a soft kiss.   
    
Good morning.   
    
Lance smiled and stroked Justins cheek gently. Good morning. He reached up and pulled Justin down next to him. Lance gently ran his thumb across Justins lips, before kissing them again.   
    
There was a knock on the window and it opened up. Lance froze. Justin froze.   
    
Joey climbed in the window with Christina right behind him. Joey tossed a bag at Lance who barely caught it. Justin jumped out of bed and ran to his closet.   
    
Cmon. We gotta get to school. Joey said sitting down on the couch and flipping on the TV.   
    
Lance slowly climbed out of bed, holding onto the bag.   
    
How did you get my backpack, Joey? Lance asked, pulling some clothes out.   
    
Thank Christina for that. She climbed in your window this morning and got you clean clothes. Now your parents think you were there since they heard someone moving.   
    
Uh, Joe? Justin managed to squeak out. Joey pulled Christina onto his lap.   
    
Yeah, Justin?   
    
How did you, um, know Lance was here?   
    
Before I answer that, I just want to say that whatevers going on here, Im cool with.   
    
Yeah, me too. Christina chimed in.   
    
Lance pulled on the clean sweater Christina had gotten him. Justin was still in his pajamas.   
    
You wanna get your boyfriend moving, Lance? Joey gestured towards Justin.   
    
Hes not my boyfriend.   
    
Im not his boyfriend.   
    
Joey held up his hand. Relax both of you. Im trying to keep the mood light. We saw you guys on the roof last night. Before we went to bed, you guys were still out there. So this morning, I climbed over to see if Lance was still here. He was, so Christina went over and got him clothes and his books.   
    
And your car keys. Christina tossed them to Lance with a smile.   
    
Justin was finally moving again, pulling on a pair of cargo pants. He put on a T-shirt. Grabbing his orange sweater from the closet, Justin turned to the other three.   
    
Okay. Lets go.   
    
He opened the bedroom door and headed downstairs. Lance grabbed his bag with a sigh. This wasnt going to be a fun day for any of them. Joey grabbed Justins backpack and sneakers and followed him downstairs. Christina grabbed a baseball cap for Justin and shut the door behind her.   
  

  

* * *

  
    
Good morning guys. Lynne said with a smile. I wish I had known  yall were going to climb in Justins window this morning. I would have made more breakfast.   
    
Dont worry about it, Lynne. We all ate. Christina said, trying to guide them to the door.   
    
Hey, I could eat again. Joey said, slipping away from Christina and going over to Lynne, putting his arm around the smaller womans shoulders.   
    
She laughed. Thats my Joey. Ill make you a egg and bacon roll-up to go. Anyone else want one while Im making it?   
    
Ill take one too, Lynne. Thanks. Lance said quietly.   
    
Chrissy, are you sure? Lynne smiled at her warmly. 

Christina laughed. Sure. Ill take one too. Thanks, Lynne.   
    
Lynne left the room and Christina smacked Joey as hard as she could.   
    
Why did you say you were hungry? I was trying to get us out of the house as quickly as possible. She hissed at him.   
    
No. Its okay, Christina. Everythings fine. Justin said with a fake smile plastered on his face.   
    
Lance felt lower then dirt. He fiddled with his car keys and tried to disappear. Both Joey and Christina tried to act like everything was okay, arguing like they usually did.   
    
Justin walked over to Lance. He slipped his arm around Lances waist and kissed him softly. Joey pretended not to see that.   
    
Everything is okay. I promise. He whispered. Lance nodded and smiled at him.   
    
Here we go. I did have enough made up for four of them. Lynne said as she walked back into the room, carrying a plate with the egg and bacon roll-ups.   
    
Justins arm dropped quickly and he pretended to be looking through Lances backpack.   
    
Thanks, Lynne. Joey grabbed one and kissed her cheek. Christina did the same, kissing her as well.   
    
Lance? Justin? Your breakfast is ready. Her voice took on a too-cheery tone when she spoke to the two of them. It made Justins stomach twist.   
    
Thanks so much, Mom. He took a roll-up and kissed her cheek. She kissed him back.   
    
Lance took his and they were finally out the door.   
    
Here. You drive. Lance tossed the keys to Christina as they walked through Justins backyard to Lances house.   
    


* * *

Lance squeezed Justins hand as they pulled up in front of Britneys. Christina hit the curb as they stopped. She cringed.   
    
Sorry. She beeped the horn twice and Britney opened the door. She waved to her mother and ran down the steps. Justin opened the door for her and she slid inside, planting a kiss on his lips.   
    
Morning, everyone!   
    
Justin looked at her. She looked beautiful this morning. Her shoulder length brown hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. She was wearing very little make-up like usual, only some mascara and lip gloss. Even the outfit she had on was beautiful this morning. Tight blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and a knee length wrap sweater over it. Her sunglasses were on the top of her head.   
    
Justin bit his lip. He could feel the food he had just eaten churning in his stomach.   
    
Christina! Pull over! He shouted. She did, hitting the curb again. Lance scrambled to get out as Justin pushed at him, trying to escape the car before he threw-up in it.   
    
He managed to get out of the car. He gagged and collapsed on his knees in the grass.   
    
Justin? Oh god, are you okay? Britney was rubbing his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach on someones lawn.   
    
He wished she would stop touching him, stop trying to make him feel better.   
    
Justin tried to push her away, but she wouldnt move.   
    
Joey, Lance, and Christina had gotten out of the car as well. Christina was holding Lances hand tightly, holding him back from going over to Justin.   
    
Lance turned away, not wanting to see Britney comforting Justin. Last night had changed everything. He didnt want to admit it, but now, seeing Britney and Justin together, he knew that everything was different.   
    
They had kissed each other. That was it. When they had both gotten too cold, they had moved inside. He didnt even remember falling asleep in Justins bed, in Justins arms. He just knew that he was happy. Lance hadnt slept that good in months.   
    
Justin straightened up, wiping his mouth on his sweater sleeve.   
    
Oh honey. Dont do that. Britney scolded him. She pulled some tissues out of her purse and handed them to Justin. He wiped his mouth off and stood up shakily.   
    
Are you okay, Justin? Joey asked, walking over to his friend. Joey put his arm around him, feeling Justin slump against him slightly.   
    
Yeah. Lets just go. Were going to be late for Bliss class. Justin pushed past Joey and got back into the car. He slid all the way over, resting his head against the glass.   
    
Britney pushed past Lance and slid in next to Justin. She squeezed his hand tightly, watching him with concern in her eyes.   
    
The rest of the ride to school was done in silence. Joey and Christina didnt say a word. Britney didnt try to find out how Justin was. Lance just stared out the window, wondering what was going to happen.   
    
And Justin fell asleep, his face pressed up against the window and his hand in Britneys, all the while wishing it was in Lances.   
    
  
---  
  
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	9. Untitled Document

The day seemed to be a blur for Justin. He avoided his best friends, trying to forget the morning, the night before, his whole life.   
    
He moved as if in a fog. Everyone seemed far away. And they all seemed to be looking at him.   
    
Justin skipped lunch, grabbing Howie in the hall after Mr. Kirkpatricks class. He convinced him to join him down in the music room for the lunch period.   
    
They did that every so often when one of them was upset. Justin and Howie werent really that close. They were friends, but they were never comfortable enough to talk about what was bothering them. Whenever one of them was really upset, though, they searched out the other one. The quiet company of a friend was all they needed.   
    
Howie played guitar. Justin would sit and sing along as Howie played songs he had made up in his head. Or Bob Dylan. They loved to sit and sing Bob Dylan songs.   
    
Basketball practice was a nightmare. Justin was the forward. And so many people he didnt want to see were on the team. Joey, Nick Carter, and Nick and Drew Lachey.   
    
And for the first time ever, Justin kept confusing who was who between Nick and Drew. The twins werent completely identical, but through the fog-vision Justin had today, he couldnt tell them apart. He kept throwing the ball to Nick who was on the other team instead of to Drew.   
    
Justin disappeared as soon as practice was done. Joey couldnt find him anywhere.   
    
Joey grabbed Drew as he walked by.   
    
Have you seen Curly anywhere?   
    
Drew shook his head. Sorry man. Is he okay? He seemed pretty out of it.   
    
Hes kinda sick. Thats all. Thanks Drew. Oh, you going to the frat next weekend?   
    
Drew nodded. Yeah, the four of us are coming. And Nickys gonna bring Jessi too.   
    
Cool. See you then.   
    
  

* * *

    
Im home. Chris said with relief. Sorry Im late. We had a staff meeting.   
    
Chris? Im in the living room. Can you come here? Josh called out.   
    
Chris walked into the living room. Oh my God. What happened? He dropped his bag and coat and ran over to the couch.   
    
Justin was sobbing on Joshs shoulder, clutching him frantically. Josh was stroking Justins back gently.   
    
He was sitting on our porch when I got home. Hes been crying since we got inside. He hasnt said a word.   
    
Chris lifted Justins head from Joshs shoulder. The teenagers face was streaked with tears, his eyes were all red.   
    
Justin? Whats wrong?   
    
Justin grabbed Chris and began to cry again, clutching at him desperately now.   
    
Chris maneuvered himself onto the couch so he was sitting next to Justin.   
    
He hasnt said anything?   
    
Josh shook his head. Not a word. Just tears.   
    
Chris held Justin tightly. Josh, go get some water for him. Chris said soothingly. Justin? Can you talk to me?   
    
Justin gulped and lifted his head slightly. I kissed him.   
    
Oh Justin, Chris reached for the tissues and handed them to Justin. What did he do?   
    
He kissed me back, Justin smiled through the tears. We sat on my roof for hours before we went inside. We fell asleep in my bed. I havent ever slept that good.   
    
Then whats wrong?   
    
Justin blew his nose. Everything. What **isnt** wrong? I kissed my best friend. Joey and Christina know. They came in my room this morning and he was there.   
    
Do they care?   
    
Justin shook his head. No, but Britney. What am I going to do? And my mom almost caught us.   
    
Josh came back into the living room and handed Justin a glass of water. He took it gratefully, gulping it down.   
    
What happened?   
    
He kissed Lance.   
    
Oh! Thats great. Josh said happily. Justin began to cry again. Josh sighed.   
    
What did I say?   
    
There are a few issues here besides Justin and Lance kissing each other, Josh. Can I tell him, Justin?   
    
Justin nodded and got up. Im going to go get some more water.   
    
Justin. The cabinet beneath the sink has some stronger stuff in it. Why dont you make yourself a drink? Chris suggested.   
    
Theres also some beer in the fridge. Josh said softly.   
    
Justin nodded and left the living room. Chris sighed and rested his head on the couch cushion.   
    
This is what I couldnt tell you the other night. Justin and Lance are part of a tightly knit group of five people, which include Britney. Theyve all been friends for years. Except for Lance, they all were born and raised together. So the implications to the group if Justin were to announce he was gay and with Lance are staggering.   
    
Josh sat back heavily. Oh man.   
    
Theres more. Justins parents are divorced. His dad lives in Tennessee with his step-mother and half brothers. He lives with his mom and step-father. Lynne, Justins mom, is a vehement anti-gay supporter. She rallies for cures and stuff like that. Justins been to a few of Rev. Phelps little prayer events. Lances parents told Lance never to let Lynne and Paul know that hes gay. They have no idea that Justin comes over here to study. She would forbid it if she knew.   
    
Joshs mouth was wide open in surprise. Yeah, thats pretty much it. If I say or do anything, Im pretty much screwed.   
    
Justin was standing in the doorway holding a beer in his hand. He seemed slightly more composed then before.   
    
Are you sure its okay that I have this? Justin asked, lifting the beer slightly.   
    
Chris nodded. I think you need something to relax you. Come sit back down.   
    
Justin sat down chewing on his nails. Josh reached up and pulled his hand down.   
    
Dont chew on your nails. Justin dropped his hand to his lap. Chris glared at Josh for a moment.   
    
Do you like Chinese food, Justin? Chris asked. Justin shrugged. I guess so.   
    
Josh, why dont you go order some food? Well do take-out tonight. 

  


* * *

     
Diane walked past her sons bedroom, carrying a pile of clean towels. Lance was sitting on the middle of his bed, hugging his pillow tightly, listening to Tori Amos Under the Pink CD. She frowned. He only listened to that CD when something was wrong.   
    
She knocked softly on the open door and stuck her head in.   
    
James? Everything okay?   
    
Lance looked up at her. He reached for the remote for his stereo and turned off the music.   
    
Actually, can we talk, Mom? Diane nodded and walked into her sons bedroom, shutting the door behind her. 

Diane sat next to him, reaching for the teddy bear Lance still slept with. She put it on her lap, hugging it.   
    
So whats up?   
    
Lance sighed, chewing on the inside of his lip. He trusted his mom and he knew that she would help him out.   
    
Anything I tell you has to be kept a huge secret. You cant even tell Dad. Promise?   
    
Diane nodded, suddenly worried. Of course, James. I promise.   
    
I kissed Justin. Lance whispered. Diane gasped. Lance didnt even look at his mother. He just nodded.   
    
What... Diane reached for Lances hand and squeezed it. What did Justin do?   
    
Lance smiled. He kissed me back.   
    
James, is Justin gay? Diane hoped for Justins sake that he wasnt. But for her own sons sake, she hoped he was. Lance had told her before how he felt about Justin.   
    
We didnt really talk about that. After we kissed, he didnt know what to say. He just wanted me to stay and hold him.   
    
Diane nodded. That explains why Chrissy was in your room this morning. Did you stay at Justins?   
    
Lance nodded. I should have called and told you. I understand if youre mad at me.   
    
Diane shook her head. Im not going to dwell on that. Oh James. Please dont get yourself hurt.   
    
Lance nodded. Ill be careful.   
    
Diane was quiet as she processed this information. Hows Justin?   
    
Lance sighed and squeezed his mothers hand tightly. Not that good. I think the idea of him possibly being gay scares the shit out of him.   
    
It should, James. Lynne and Paul are nothing like Dad and I. They are two of my best friends, but I never want them to find out you are gay. And I pray to God, if Justin is gay, they never find out that either.   
    
Lance bit his lip and nodded, holding onto Dianes hand tightly.   
    
So whatever is going on between Justin and you, please be careful. She pulled her son into a tight hug.   
    
I want you to be happy, James. If Justin makes you happy and you make him happy, I am all for it. Just please, dont do anything over at Justins. Spend as little time there as possible. Dad and I will give the two of you all the space you need.   
    
Lance rested his head on his mothers shoulder. Okay, Mom. I love you.   
    
I love you too, James. I love you, too.   
  
---  
  
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	10. Untitled Document

    
Justin shut his locker, resting his head against the cool metal surface. He had a headache again. Hed had a headache everyday for the last week, ever since he had kissed Lance for the first time. He smiled slightly to himself as he remembered what it felt like to press his own lips against Lances. He hadnt done that since this morning, a stolen kiss in the car.   
    
I can give you something to get rid of that headache.   
    
Justin turned his head to look at AJ, never lifting his head from the locker.   
    
What? A bullet in the brain?   
    
Are things that bad, Justin? AJ asked, leaning against the locker and watching the people walking by.   
    
Its just been a long week, AJ. Thats all.   
    
AJ grinned and waved to a pretty cheerleader that walked by. She gave him the finger. He shrugged and looked back over at Justin.   
    
Yeah. A long week. Thats got to be it. His voice dripped with sarcasm. Justin sighed and began to lightly bang his head against the locker.   
    
Thats not going to help your headache.   
    
AJ reached into his backpack and pulled out a bottle of Advil. He handed it to Justin and patted his shoulder.   
    
These should help a little bit. And tonight will help a lot.   
    
Justin groaned. Thats tonight?   
    
You forgot? Damn. AJ shook his head. I guess you shouldnt have ignored us all week.   
    
Leave me alone, AJ. Justin said softly.   
    
AJ sighed, wanting to say more. Ill see you tonight.   
    
Justin nodded and rested his head back against the locker. AJ slipped his arm around the waist of a random girl that walked by.   
    
Hey, do you need someone to carry your books? Cause Im more then willing to oblige.   
    
Justin watched as the girl smacked AJ and pushed him away. Okay then. You can call me later. AJ grinned at Justin, giving him a thumbs up. He headed down the hall in the opposite direction of the girl who had smacked him.   
    
Justin looked down at the books in his arms. Great. Spanish class with Christina and Joey.   
    
He sighed and walked down the hall, stopping at a water fountain to take a few Advil for his headache.   
    
Mr. Timberlake.   
    
Justin turned around and looked at Chris. Hi Mr. Kirkpatrick. Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and smiled.   
    
Can I bum a few Advil?   
    
Justin nodded. Do you have a headache too? He handed Chris the bottle.   
    
Chris nodded, taking two Advils and handing the bottle back to Justin.   
    
I just had an extremely **interesting** meeting with the head of the math department. I swear Mr. Clarke doesnt know how to talk with any sort of tone or inflection in his voice. Its like a natural sleep aid.   
    
Justin laughed. Mr. Clarke is pretty bad. He was my algebra teacher freshman year. I think I slept through every single class.   
    
They began to walk down the hall together, moving slowly through the crowds of students.   
    
Chris lowered his voice. Have you talked to Britney yet? Justin shook his head.   
    
I really havent talked to anyone since last Thursday. I guess Im avoiding everyone.   
    
Do you think thats a good idea?   
    
Justin shrugged. Its the easiest thing to do.   
    
What about Lance?   
    
Justin grimaced. Hes come over the last three nights. I havent really talked about anything with him. We kind of just sat on my roof and waited for Joey to come over and join us.   
    
I thought you were avoiding them.   
    
I am avoiding them.   
    
Chris decided to leave that explanation for later. He stopped by his classroom door, taking a peek in. Most of his class was already there.   
    
You have that party tonight, right?   
    
Justin nodded. Have fun. And try not to do anything stupid, Justin. Remember, only two keg stands in a night.   
    
Chris winked at him before walking into his classroom. Justin just shook his head and laughed as he walked down the hall.   
    
Has he said anything to you? Christina asked Joey. She was sitting on his desk, kicking her legs out. He was playing with the hem of her skirt.   
    
Christina slapped his hand. Quit it.   
    
Hes been silent pretty much. Lance and I talk and he just listens. I think the two of them talk a little when Im not there. Ive purposely been waiting until later so they get time alone.   
    
Joey ran his hand over Christinas left leg, stopping to play with her high leather boots.   
    
I really hate it when you wear stuff like this. He said, pulling the zipper down slightly to caress her calf muscle.   
    
You dont hate it. You hate the fact you cant jump my bones in public.   
    
Joey waved his hand in the air. Details. Details.   
    
She leaned over to kiss him softly. We were talking about Justin.   
    
Did AJ get anything out of him?   
    
Christina shook her head.   
    
He dodged all of AJs attempts to draw him into a conversation. Though AJ is never really good at engaging people in serious conversations when there are girls around.   
    
We should have asked Howie to do it. Joey said, looking over at Howie who was across the room trying to nap with his eyes open. He was an expert at it.   
    
Justin and Howie dont talk. Christina said, hopping off the desk and sitting down at her own in front of him. She turned to face him.   
    
What do you mean they dont talk? They spend everyday together at lunch.   
    
Christina rolled her eyes. When did you get so oblivious? Joey shrugged. Maybe you should cut back on your smoking, honey.   
    
Nah.   
    
Christina sighed. They dont talk to each other because they dont need to talk to each other. Howie gives Justin what he needs, someone to sit with while he thinks about everything. And Howie gets someone to play Bob Dylan with.   
    
Really?   
    
Really. Christina said, smiling warmly at Justin as he sat down.   
    
Hey Justin.   
    
Justin looked over at her. Hi, Chrissy. She winced but smiled back.   
    
He grinned at her and turned around to look at Joey. So are you driving tonight or is Lance?   
    
Youre still going?   
    
Justin nodded. I was planning on it. Is that okay with the two of you?   
    
Christina kicked Joey in the shin. Ouch.   
    
Of course its okay, Justin. Weve been worried about you. Thats all.   
    
Justin smiled. Thanks, but Im okay. Honest.   
    
Señorita Maier walked into the classroom. She put her bag down on the desk and clapped her hands.   
    
Hola clase. Cállese por favor abajo y abra sus libros en el capítulo 15.   
    
Justin turned back around and opened his book, trying to concentrate on the teacher.   
    
Will you please answer me, Lance? Britney hissed angrily. Lance faced forward, trying to ignore her.   
    
"James! She finally reached over and grabbed his pencil. Lance looked over at her angrily.   
    
Would you shut up? He whispered back, reaching for his pencil. He didnt want to have this conversation with her right now. Actually he didnt want to have this conversation with her at all.   
    
No. Tell me what hes said to you.   
    
He hasnt said anything to me, Britney. Lance shot back. Not a single word. Everytime I go over to his house, he sits there and plays video games and ignores me.   
    
Britney slumped back in her chair. Its the same whenever I go over. Whats wrong with him?   
    
Lance bit his lip, trying not to think about the reason Justin was upset.   
    
I dont know. Lance whispered. I honestly dont know.   
---  
  
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	11. Untitled Document

Britney! Kevin grabbed the small woman in his arms and swung her around. Britney laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist, hugging him tightly.   
    
You boys made it! Brian grabbed Joeys hand and the two men clapped each other on the back.   
    
What? No hug for me, Kevy? Christina asked with a pout on her face.   
    
Kevin put Britney down and turned to face Christina. How can I forget to hug you?   
    
Kevin hugged her tightly as well. Brian made the rounds, giving Justin and Lance hellos as well.   
    
My dickwad of a best friend did tell you guys that you can crash here tonight, right? Brian asked Lance.   
    
Yeah. Nicky told us. Were all stayin.   
    
"Schweet! Brian slapped Lance on the back firmly. Man, Nick brought his girl Jessica. She is sooo fine, man! Brian began to laugh. Look who Im talkin to.   
    
Lance chuckled at him. She is hot, man. Ive seen her. Not my type though.   
    
That set Brian off laughing again.   
    
Oh! Theres Nicky! Britney said, disappearing into the crowd of people.   
    
Both Brian and Kevin exchanged glances and then looked over at Justin. Joey threw his arm around Kevins shoulders.   
    
Lets talk, man. He pulled him away.   
    
Come on, Brian. I need a beer. Actually, I need a lot of beer. Its been one hell of a week. And I want to meet Leighanne. Christina said, dragging him off as well.   
    
That almost seemed planned. Well, except for Britney seeing Nick. Lance said as he and Justin wandered through the crowd.   
    
Justin shrugged. I still cant bring myself to ask her about it ya know.   
    
I kinda guessed that. You still going out to dinner with her tomorrow night?   
    
Justin nodded. Yeah. I dont know if thats the right time to bring it up. Not that I can figure out another time that would be more opportune. Whats a good time to ask your girlfriend if shes cheating on you with a good friend of yours?   
    
Lance shrugged, handing Justin a beer. I dont think theres a good time. I think you just have to do it.   
    
Justin drained the cup of cheap beer and made a face. Ughh. Miller Lite. Hand me another.   
    
Lance downed his and grabbed two more. Its gonna take a hell of a lot of this to get us drunk.   
    
Justin nodded. Yeah but after two more cups, itll start tasting good. Besides, well go look for Joey. You know hes carrying tonight. 

  

* * *

    
    
Kevin groaned. I knew you were gonna ask me about that. Shit, I thought AJ already told Christina what was going on.   
    
So its true?   
    
Kevin nodded. Yeah. Its true. Direct from Nickys mouth to my ears. Hes pretty proud of himself. The kid can be such a prick.   
    
Shit. This is not good, Kevin.   
    
You dont think I already know that much, Joey? This is gonna fuck a lot of people before its all done with. 

  

* * *

 

Alex!   
    
Chrissy!   
    
Christina grabbed her cousins leopard print hat and put it on her head.   
    
It looks much better on me, darling.   
    
AJ grabbed it back. No, dear. It looks better on me. Now do me a favor.   
    
And what is that?   
    
Disappear. Youre crampin my style, baby.   
    
Christina swatted AJs arm. You aint got no style, AJ. Oh look, its Jeff.   
    
Christina took off again. My cousin. AJ said to the woman he was talking to. She cant hold her alcohol very well.   
    
The woman just nodded and walked away. Aww...come on. She really is my cousin. I swear.   
    
AJ threw his hands up in disgust. He regained his composure quickly and went back on the prowl.   
    
Hey, can you help me with something? The tall blonde raised her eyebrow at him.   
    
I forgot my phone number. Can I have yours? 

* * *

    
They were on beer number 8 when Kevin found them again. Justin was hitting on a short brunette woman. And Lance was trying to hit on her boyfriend.   
    
Kevin grabbed Lance and pulled him away. Do me a favor, Lance. Dont get yourself killed by hitting on guys here.   
    
Lance nodded. Okay, Kevy. Can I hit on Justin?   
    
Kevin looked at him oddly. Sure. Knock yourself out.   
    
Thanks, Kevy. Lance walked back over to Justin, who handed him another beer.   
    
Justin leaned over and whispered in Lances ear.   
    
I want to kiss you so badly right now.   
    
The feeling is mutual.   
    
Justin looked around for a moment. There were too many people around.   
    
Cmon. Lets go to Brian and Kevs room.   
    
They headed up the stairs quickly, managing to slip past the guards keeping everyone in the basement of the frat house.   
    
Its down the hall and to the right. Justin said, pushing Lance forward.   
    
How do you know?   
    
Last frat party we came to, Brit and I fucked in there.   
    
Lance stopped, but Justin pushed him forward. I had to. She wanted me to.   
    
Lance nodded. Okay.   
    
Justin opened the door and they went inside. Looks like a tornado hit the place.   
    
Yeah.   
    
They both stood there, looking at each other. Ive missed you the last few days. Justin said softly. I missed talking to you. And I missed kissing you.   
    
Lance moved towards Justin, stroking Justins cheek with his hand. I missed you, too.   
    
I still dont know what Im doing, Lance. Justin whispered.   
    
I know. Lance said, moving his face towards Justins, kissing the man of his dreams softly.   
    
Justins hands joined behind Lances back, pulling him closer. Their bodies pressed up against each other as the kiss became more passionate.   
    
Justin. Lance moaned softly, losing his fingers in Justins curls. Lance ground his hips into Justins.   
    
Justin froze. Lance. He said urgently.   
    
Lance pulled away. Whats wrong?   
    
Is that...I mean are you? Justin blushed and looked away. Lance turned Justins face back to him.   
    
Am I hard? Lance asked. Justin nodded. Yes, I am.   
    
Because of me?   
    
Well, its definitely not because of the piles of dirty clothes on the floor. So I would have to say, yes, you are the reason Im turned on right now.   
    
Justin smiled. Wow. He put his hand on Lances chest. Youll be happy to know that its not the laundry for me either. Its all you.   
    
Lance grinned. Good. I would hate to think you are turned on by... Lance stopped talking as Justins hand slid to the front of his pants. He completely forgot what he was saying.   
    
Justin was in awe of the feeling of Lances cock underneath his hand. The hardness of it amazed him. He kept touching it, tracing the shape of it with his fingers. He had never touched another man like this before.   
    
He looked up at Lance with a smile. Lances eyes were shut and he had a half-smile on his face. Justin re-captured Lances lips with his own, all the while keeping his one hand on the front of Lances pants. He let his other hand drift to the back of Lances neck.   
    
Lance moaned, pressing himself into Justins hand harder. He opened his eyes and realized where they were.   
    
Justin. He whispered. 

Justin lifted his head from Lances neck, where he had been sucking on it. Hmm?   
    
I think we should stop before we get completely carried away. 

Justin nodded. Youre probably right. He stepped back, removing his hand. Lance felt a rush of cool air over his crotch where Justins hand had just been.   
    
If we decide to sleep together, I dont want it to be while we are drunk in a frat house somewhere, okay? Lance said to Justin softly.   
    
Justin nodded. We should probably go downstairs.   


* * *

  
I am the king of this game! Nick shouted, holding up a cup of beer and the Ping-Pong paddle. The people crowded around the Ping-Pong table roared their appreciation.   
    
Nick had beaten everyone that had come up against him. He was running out of opponents. Britney laughed and gave him a hug.   
    
Timberlake! Nick shouted, seeing Justin and Lance walking through the crowd.   
    
Justin pushed his way to the table. Britney gulped. Hey, Carter. Justin gave him a high five.   
    
Play with me, Justin. Nick said gesturing to the Ping-Pong table.   
    
Justin looked at Britney and smiled. Why dont we raise the stakes of this game of beer pong, Nicky?   
    
Nick shrugged. Sure. What did you have in mind?   
    
Lance grabbed Justins arm and pulled him back for a moment. What the hell are you doing?   
    
Relax, James. Just watch.   
    
 Justin walked up to Nick and stood face to face with him.   
    
Winner gets Britney. I know youre sleeping with her. How badly do you want her?   
    
Nicks face paled at that. Britney grabbed Justins arm. What are you doing?   
    
He twisted away from her. Deny it and Im not even going to try to win.   
    
Britney looked away from him. I wont deny it. She said softly. The crowd had grown larger around the table.   
    
Justin could see Joey and Christina talking to Lance. They looked shocked and scared. Howie, AJ, Kevin, and Brian were all holding beers and looking like they would much rather be cleaning toilets in a bar somewhere. Nick and Drew were trying to figure out what was happening. Justin and Jeff looked even more confused then the twins. Jessica was just watching the action unfolding in awe. The rest of the party had pretty much died down to nothing as they waited for Nicks response. Suddenly, the beer pong table became the center of the party.   
    
He was going to stand by his offer. It was up to Nick to accept it or not. And Nick looked like he was going to throw up.   
    
So whats your answer, Carter? You wanna play for Britney or not?   
    
The only sound was the occasional whisper of someone asking what was going on. Nick looked around at everyone, watching them. He looked at Britney and then back at Justin.   
    
Slowly, Nick shook his head. No. I dont want to play for Britney. Shes yours.   
    
Nick put the Ping-Pong paddle on the table and pushed his way through the crowd. Brian followed him.   
    
Britney and Justin stared at each other.   
    
So I guess you know. She said softly. 

Yeah, I know. Too bad Nick didnt play. I was going to let him win.   
  
---  
  
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	12. Untitled Document

So what do I do now? Britney asked Christina softly, trying not to wake anyone else up.   
    
Brit, I dont think you do anything. The ball is in Justins court now. Christina knew that Justin wasnt going to take her back this time, but she wasnt going to tell Britney that.   
    
Shes right, Britney. You just have to wait and see. Jessica said, putting her arms around Britney and giving her a hug.   
    
The bedroom the girls were talking in also had about six other people sleeping in it, including Joey and Nick.   
    
I really fucked up this time, didnt I?   
    
Yeah, Brit. You really fucked up this time. Christina said, hoping that everything would end up okay.   
    
At least he has Lance. Jessica said to them both. Christina spun around, her eyes blazing.   
    
What was that? Britney asked.   
    
Umm...nothing. Nevermind. Jessica started to get up, but Britney grabbed her arm.   
    
Jessica, if you know something I should know about my boyfriend, please tell me.   
    
All I meant by at least he has Lance, is that he has someone to talk to. Lance stayed with Justin after the...umm...thing last night. I was just thinking its nice that he has a friend like that.   
    
Britney slumped back. Yeah, Lance is pretty great.   
    
Christina breathed a sigh of relief. She was going to have to talk to Jessica later on to see what she knew. If this was making the rounds of their friends already, Britney was going to find out way before Justin was ready for it. 

* * *

The car was silent. Justin was in the front seat with Lance, who was driving. Britney, Christina and Joey were in the back seat. No one wanted to speak.   
    
Lance pulled up in front of Britneys house. She got out of the car quickly. Justin rolled down the window.   
    
Dont forget. We have a date tonight. Wear something pretty.   
    
Britney looked at him like he was crazy, but she nodded anyway.   
    
Bye sweetheart! Justin waved to her as he put the window up. Lance gave him a look before pulling away from the curb.   
    
Holy Mary fuck. Joey said from the back seat. I seriously suggest the four of us have a little conference about what has happened in the past week.   
    
Justin turned around. Whats there to talk about, Joey?   
    
Gee, I dont know. You and Britney. You and Lance. Britney and Nick. You in general.   
    
Oh. Okay.   
    
So where am I going? Lance asked. 

My house. Joey said. Well talk over lasagna. I need breakfast. 

  

* * *

I just have one question for you, Justin. What the hell were you thinking? Joey asked.   
    
I wasnt thinking, okay. I was drunk. I was pissed off. And I was confused. I just wanted someone else to hurt instead of me. Britney and Nick seemed like logical targets.   
    
Why are you still going out with her tonight? Joey asked his mouth full of lasagna.   
    
To figure everything out with her one on one. I need to know that this is the right decision.   
    
Christina handed Joey a napkin. Justin, are you gay?   
    
No one, including Lance, had the guts to ask that question before now. And all of them were wondering about it, especially Lance.   
    
Justin looked at them nervously. You always know how to cut right to the heart of the matter dont you, Chrissy?   
    
Christina held up her fork. You know the rules. You can call me Chrissy when Im not around. Otherwise call me...   
    
Christina. Sorry. Justin smiled weakly at her. So to answer your question, yes, I am.   
    
Then this is the right decision, Justin. You cant keep leading Britney on any longer. Christina said as gently as possible.   
    
You havent said anything yet. Joey said to Lance.   
    
Whats there for me to say? This is yours and Chrissys interrogation.   
    
Christina sighed. Jimmy, whether you want to admit it or not, you are a big part of this."   
    
No. Im a big part of other issues. Not whether Justin breaking up with Britney is a good idea or not. We all know how I feel on that subject already.   
    
He stabbed a piece of lasagna with his fork. Its ultimately up to Justin anyway.   
    
Well then, lets delve into another issue. Whats going on between the two of you?   
    
To be honest, I have no idea. Lance said. This is something else that seems to be up to Justin.   
    
All eyes turned to Justin again. Well. He stopped and turned to Lance. He wanted to say this to Lances face.   
    
Ive had a crush on you for years. Even before I realized what it was, I had a crush on you. I dont know what I can offer you in a relationship sense at this point in time, but I would like to try my best.   
    
Lances jaw dropped. Close your mouth, Jimmy. Youre gonna catch flies. Christina said, breaking the silence.   
    
Well, what if you two just take things really slowly? Joey suggested. Christina shoved a piece of garlic bread in his mouth to shut him up.   
    
Lance nodded. Id be more then interested in trying as well, Justin. Well move slow.   
    
Okay, well Im going to move on to the next issue, since you guys kinda just cemented it into being an issue. Jessica, Nick, and Howie saw the two of you going upstairs during the party last night. And when you finally came back down, you both looked slightly disheveled.   
    
Christina stared at the two of them as they blushed. You guys have to be careful. Jessica almost slipped this morning in front of Britney. If you dont want Britney and the rest of the school knowing about this, try and be a little less obvious.   
    
Justin groaned. I didnt think we were being obvious. Thats why we went upstairs.   
    
Christina shrugged. Well three people noticed. Youre just lucky it was those three. Howie would never say anything. Nick and Jessica are pretty good at keeping their mouths shut as well.   
    
Theres also something else you need to think about, Justin. Joey said gently. Your mom.   
    
Justin nodded. I have thought about that. Over and over again, Ive thought about that. I just have to be very careful. I can do this. Its only for a few months. Then Im leaving for college.   
    
Joey, Christina, and Lance exchanged glances. This was not a good plan.   
    
Lance sighed. Okay, well. Thats just going to have to be something we are careful about.   
    
Justin smiled and took a huge bite of lasagna.   
    
So weve got Bliss midterm on Monday. What do you say we all go home, shower, change, and meet over at my house to get some serious studying done? Christina said, deciding it was time to end this conversation.   
    
Lance began to blush. Umm...I kinda have a thing this afternoon.   
    
What sort of thing? Joey asked, already knowing the answer. He just liked making Lance say it.   
    
Oh come on, Joey. You know what it is.   
    
No, I dont. Joey said, playing dumb.   
    
Lance sighed. I have a party this afternoon, okay. I have to be PooFu.   
    
Joey began to laugh. It still cracks me up everytime you say it. The idea of you dressing up as a huge Dalmatian and doing childrens parties under the name PooFu. I love it!   
    
Lance rolled his eyes. At least I have a job, Joey.   
    
Joey held up his hands. Hey, I have a job. Just because its not all that legal doesnt mean its not work.   
    
Christina smacked him. I told you to stop selling, Joseph! You promised me.   
    
On that note, well be leaving now. Ill be over in about an hour, Christina.   
    
Justin grabbed Lances hand and opened Joeys bedroom window. They quickly climbed over to Justins roof and sat on the roof for a moment.   
    
So Ill call you when I get home from work, okay? Lance said to him.   
    
Justin nodded. If Im not home, Ill be at Chrissys.   
    
Lance grinned. Bye, cutie. He kissed Justin softly. 

Bye, baby.   
    
Lance disappeared into the palm tree. Justin smiled and opened his window. He could really go for that shower now. He smelled like beer, cigarette smoke, and...he took a deep breath. Lance. Well, that one was okay.   
  
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	13. Untitled Document

...it aint no lie...baby Bye Bye Bye. Justin turned off the radio. He took a deep breath before getting out of the car. That stupid song was played at the perfect time. He wasnt an Nsync fan in the least. Actually Justin thought the whole concept of boybands was kinda scary. But that song seemed to fit how he was feeling at the moment.   
    
Justin knocked on Britneys front door. He had never been this nervous to be at her house in his life. Brits house was a second home to him.   
    
Justin! Mrs. Spears gathered him into a hug. 

Hi, Mom.   
    
 Britneys almost ready. Thank god you are taking her out tonight. Shes been crying most of the day.   
    
Justin smiled weakly. Oh really.   
    
She wont talk to me about it. See if you can get her to tell you whats wrong.   
    
Justin nodded. Ill do my best.   
    
Have you finally decided where you are going to apply to school?   
    
Yeah. Well, FSU is offering me a basketball scholarship. Im not sure about that yet though. I dont know if I want to play ball my whole college career. Im also going to apply to Georgia Tech, the University of Georgia, and the University of Tennessee.   
    
Mrs. Spears nodded. Britney really should apply to FSU and University of Tampa, but I think shes just going to go to community college for now. She still has that dream to be a nurse.   
    
Justin nodded, knowing that Britney had no desire to be a nurse anymore and really hated the whole idea of college. Apparently, Britney and her mom still were pretending everything was fine.   
    
Britneys father had died a year ago. Her mother had a hard time dealing with life now and she constantly tried to keep everything the way it was before Mr. Spears had died. Consequently, she refused to let Britney change her goals in life.   
    
Britney looked in the mirror one more time. Her eyes were still red and puffy. She looked ill. She straightened her dress one more time and took a deep breath.   
    
Time to face the music.   
    
Justin looked up as Britney walked down the steps. His heart clutched in his chest as he looked at his best friend, his girlfriend, his confident, and the woman whose heart he was about to break.   
    
Are you ready to go, Britney? Justin asked softly.   
    
Yeah. Lets head out. Bye, Mom. Britney kissed her mom on the cheek and walked past Justin to the door.   
    
Bye, Mom. Justin hugged Mrs. Spears and opened the door for Britney. This was a familiar routine, only this time the ending was not going to be happy.   
    
The walk to the car seemed endless. Justin opened the door for her, holding it as she slid inside. A faint smile crossed her lips, disappearing a moment later.   
    
Mom let you borrow Pauls car? Britney asked softly as he pulled away from the curb.   
    
Justin nodded. They love you. I told them we were going out and she practically threw the keys at me. He shrugged. I was just going to borrow Joeys like usual.   
    
Britney reached forward and began to fiddle with the radio. Justin gestured to the glove compartment.   
    
Theres some CDs in there.   
    
She nodded and pulled them out. Britney began to giggle. Whos CD is this?   
    
She held up a Backstreet Boys CD. Justin began to laugh as well. He took it from her.   
    
Put it in. Ive never actually listened to a CD of theirs.   
    
Britney laughed again. How about I just put in Dave and we forget that Paul even has this CD?   
    
Sounds good to me.   
    


* * *

She fiddled with the napkin, trying not to meet Justins eyes. He chewed on a breadstick, his gaze wandering around the restaurant.   
    
We might as well just get to it. She said softly. Im not going to make a scene in public. Smart of you to keep our date so you can break-up with me in public.   
    
Do you remember the first time we kissed? Justin asked her, taking her small hand in his larger one.   
    
She pulled it away. Would you just get on with it.   
    
Weve been friends our whole lives, Brit. I dont want the end of our relationship to be the end of our friendship too.   
    
Britney brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and looked at him for the first time all evening.   
    
I remember the first time we kissed. You, me, Joey, Chrissy, AJ, and Kevin were playing on the swingset in Kevins backyard. Kevin decided we should play Cowboys and Indians. Chrissy and I were supposed to be captured by the Indians, Joey and AJ. You and Kevin had to rescue us.   
    
Kevin was wrestling with AJ while Joey hid Chrissy behind the old oak tree in Kevins backyard. I grabbed you and made a run for the jungle gym. We hid inside. And we kissed.   
    
Britney smiled shakily. Of course we both thought it was gross. I mean, you had cooties.   
    
So did you. Girls always had worse cooties then boys.   
    
When did we decide that cooties werent so bad? Britney asked him, biting her lip to hold back the tears.   
    
I think you came to that conclusion before I did. Justin said softly.   
    
Britney nodded. I know at the beginning, you only agreed to date me because our parents were so thrilled. I think they had our wedding planned when we were still in diapers.   
    
It was going to be at St. Michaels. Reverend Johnson was going to perform the ceremony. Chrissy was going to be your bridesmaid. Joey was going to be my best man. And everyone was going to live happily ever after.   
    
Why cant we have happily ever after, Justin?   
    
Because it wouldnt be fair to either of us. Are you happy, Britney?   
    
She choked back a sob. Their waiter appeared and put their food in front of them. Neither of them moved to eat.   
    
Sometimes. Most of the time, Im not. Are you happy?   
    
Justin shook his head. Not anymore. I love you, Britney. But I would rather have my best friend in my life forever, then continue this relationship and risk losing her.   
    
Britney squeezed her eyes shut. Christ. Why do you have to be so goddamn right all the time? I want to hate you.   
    
She opened her eyes and looked at him. But I cant. I close my eyes and see that little boy who used to feed me dirt and bake cookies with me whenever I asked.   
    
Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. You never went through that phase where you hated all girls, including me and Chrissy. You always stood up for me. You always treated me better then I deserved to be treated. Thank you for that, Justin.   
    
He opened his mouth, but she held up her hand. Dont speak yet. I have more to say.   
    
Justin nodded and took a bite of the smoked chicken ravioli he had ordered. It tasted like sawdust to him tonight.   
    
We should have done this a long time ago, Justin. But I liked being your girlfriend. I liked the perks that came with dating you. Along the way, I lost touch with what I really wanted. You or the perks.   
    
Justin reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. She slipped her hand out of his and put it on her lap.   
    
Shes never going to be able to deal with this. Britney said softly. A flash of guilt tore through Justin when she said that. Mrs. Spears was going to have a huge issue with this change in her life.   
    
Do you want to know why I slept with him? Britneys voice was no more then a whisper.   
    
Justin closed his eyes. Not really. 

I need to tell you anyway.   
    
Britney, I dont care why... 

Just shut the hell up and listen, Justin.   
    
He closed his mouth and waited for her to talk.   
    
I dont know who I am anymore, Justin. I havent known since Dad died. I feel like Im living in a suspended world. I leave the house and its present day. I go back in the house and nothings changed from a year ago. The four of you are the only people keeping me sane.   
    
She took a deep breath. I slept with Nick to find out how far I could push you. I dont love Nick. Actually, I dont even really like Nick anymore. He was just a means to my ends. Finding out what I had to do to lose you.   
    
I needed this, Justin. I needed a huge kick in the ass to get me out of the suspended life Ive been living. I need to move on.   
    
So do I. Justin said looking her in the eyes. She stared back at him, losing herself in the blue depths.   
    
I know Im not smart like the rest of you. I know I dont want to go to college. I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I just know that I dont want to graduate from high school and get married.   
    
She bit her lip. Im only 17. It scares me to think about the fact that I could have married you, the person Ive been with since I was 13 years old.   
    
I dont want to be someones wife.   
    
Justin squeezed her hand. You could never just be someones wife. You are an incredible person. You are smart. You are funny. And you are beautiful. You can do whatever you want to do.   
    
Britney blushed. So if this hadnt had happened, how long do you think we would have kept fooling ourselves?   
    
Justin smiled. I think I might have freaked about the time I said I do. But I probably would have bitten my tongue and said it anyway.   
    
Same here.   
    
Britney finally looked down at her meal. She cut a piece of her chicken marsala off and chewed it. Justin took another bite of his ravioli. This time it tasted great.   
    
I guess Joey cant refer to us as BJ anymore. Britney said with a smile.   
    
Oh darn. Thats such a shame. Justin grinned. I guess no more of them for awhile.   
    
Well, Im sure Lance will give you a BJ if you ask nicely. His ex Vince said he was fantastic at it.   
    
All color left Justins face. He put his fork down and picked up his water, gulping it down. Suddenly his food was sticking in his throat like glue.   
    
Uh...Brit. I think we need to talk about something else, too.   
    
She twirled some spaghetti on her fork. What? Are you going to tell me that youre gay now? She laughed as she put the food in her mouth.   
    
Justin looked ill. And he wasnt laughing.   
    
Britney swallowed. Her mouth was dry.   
    
Justin. This isnt funny. That was joke.   
    
Justin slowly nodded.   
    
What are you nodding at? Me saying youre gay or me saying it was a joke? Talk to me, Justin. Her voice was growing increasingly frantic.   
    
Im...Im. He looked away. Gay. Justin whispered.   
    
And she was gone. Britney grabbed her purse and walked out of the restaurant without saying a word.   
  
---  
  
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	14. Untitled Document

  
Justin sighed and handed the joint back to Joey. The two of them had been laying on Justins roof for the last hour and a half, just smoking and staring at the stars, while Justin re-capped the evening for Joey.   
    
He had tossed money on the table and followed her out, chasing her down the street. She had taken her shoes off and she was running as fast as she could.   
    
He followed her to the playground. He should have known that she would have ended up here. This is where it all began. In 8th grade, they had been sitting around talking when Britney had leaned over and kissed him. She informed him that they were dating now. Justin has just shrugged and went back to arguing with Joey about who was going to win the Super Bowl.   
    
Britney had sat down on the bottom of the slide and cried. He watched her for a few minutes before going over to her.   
    
She looked at him with tear-stained cheeks.   
    
You were always the best at climbing up the slide. She said softly. Only AJ could keep up with you.   
    
Well, AJ is part monkey. Justin knelt in front of her. She looked away from him. Do you hate me now?   
    
I dont even know you, Justin. How can I hate you?   
    
His heart broke and the tears began to fall down his cheeks. He sat on the ground and cried.   
    
She didnt move to touch him, to comfort him. She just watched. He sniffled and looked at her sadly.   
    
I havent changed any. How can you say that you dont know me?   
    
The Justin Timberlake I know isnt gay. You are. She said softly.   
    
I was always gay, Britney. The only difference is you know now.   
    
When did you know?   
    
Justin shrugged, blinking back the last few tears. I guess I knew for sure about 3 years ago. I couldnt say anything. Hell, I dont know why Im saying anything now.   
    
Shell disown you. Britney said gently, lifting his chin. 

Justin nodded. I know. I dont plan to tell her.   
    
So for the last three years of our relationship, youve been living a lie. And I was part of it. She whispered.   
    
Britney, the last four years have been very important to me. Nothing I ever did or said to you was a lie. I love you. Everytime Ive ever said that to you, I meant it.   
    
I meant it too. Britney said, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.   
    
They both sat in the dirt, hugging each other tightly, trying not to cry again.   
    
Honestly, how are you? He whispered in her ear.   
    
Slightly amazed that you could keep this a secret from the four of us for so long. What did they say when you told them?   
    
How did you know that they knew? Justin asked in surprise.   
    
Britney smiled. If you got the guts up to say something to me, you had to tell someone before me. I figured it was them.   
    
Brit? Are you mad at me?   
    
Her arms were around him a moment later. No. Im not mad at you. I was surprised. Thats why I ran.   
    
So she wasnt pissed off at you?   
    
Justin shook his head. Im as surprised as you are, Joey. I thought she would never want to talk to me again.   
    
Remember the other night when we were talking about Britney being a drama queen? 

Justin nodded. Yeah.   
    
I also said she had her moments where she is still Britney. I think this was one of those moments.   
    
Justin smiled. I think youre right. He handed the joint back to Joey.   
    
Did you tell her about you and Lance?   
    
Justin shook his head. I wasnt up for that battle tonight. I want to give her a chance to get used to the idea of us being apart and me being gay before I spring the fact Im dating one of our best friends on her.   
    
Yeah, thats going to be a real kick in the pants when that gets out. Itll be an interesting thing to watch thats for sure.   
    
Justin looked over at him. Are you talking about just Brit finding out or everyone finding out?   
    
You know well all be here for you when that happens. All of us. Chrissy, me, Lance obviously, D, Kev, Bri, Nicky, the twins, AJ, Jeff, Justin, and even Brit. But its not going to be pretty, Justin.   
    
Lance hasnt really had any problems.   
    
Joey sat up and looked down at Justin seriously. I love Lance like a brother, but theres a reason he hasnt had any problems. Hes Lance. No one ever thought of him as part of the perfect couple. He was never the golden boy that you are. By being the drama boy he is, people accepted him being gay easier. It fits him. No offense or anything, but people arent going to think that being gay fits you.   
    
Even though its the truth?   
    
Joey nodded. Even though its the truth. I can promise you that I will personally kick the ever living crap out of anyone that tries to hurt you though. No one hurts my Justin.   
    
Justin smiled and sat up as well. Thanks, Joey. Its good to know youll cause someone lots of pain for me.   
    
Joey grinned. Well I still owe you for the time you beat up Brian Jordan for me in 5th grade.   
    
Justin laughed. He was walking funny for a week after that. Joey chuckled as well. I cant believe you kneed him in the balls that hard.   
    
Hey, Joe?   
    
Yeah, Just?   
    
Thanks for not flipping out when you saw me and Lance the other morning.   
    
Joey put his arm around Justin. I always knew there was some truth to the joking. So it wasnt too out of the realm of consideration for me. I didnt really expect to find him in your bed the next morning. I didnt think you were that kind of girl.   
    
Justin laughed and pushed Joeys arm off of him. Im not that kind of girl. Lance just happens to be that kind of guy.   
    
Ah ha. So there was some nasty-nasty freaky-deaky shit going down the other night.   
    
Justin blushed. Unless you consider kissing nasty-nasty freaky-deaky shit, no there wasnt.   
    
Depends where you were kissing. Joey made a blowjob motion. Justin turned brighter red.   
    
Quit it, Joey.   
    
Joey laughed. Those are the three magic words. So, Im going to go climb back into my warm bed where my sexy little girlfriend is waiting for me to come back and rock her world.   
    
Justin rolled his eyes. You know Chrissys asleep by now.   
    
Joey shrugged. Hey, a boy can dream cant he?   
    
Thanks for waking up and joining me out here, Joe.   
    
Anytime, man. Anytime.   
    
  
---  
  
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	15. Untitled Document

Lance knocked on Justins front door at 1. Lynne opened the door with a smile on her face.   
    
Hi, Lance.   
    
Hi, Lynne. Lance hugged her briefly. Is Justin up?   
    
I havent heard him moving yet. I know he was out really late with Britney last night so I didnt wake him up for church. Was he supposed to be up for something?   
    
We were going to study with a few people from our math class for the midterm on Tuesday.   
    
Lynne laughed. Just like my little boy to sleep instead of studying. Why dont you go wake him up?   
    
Lance tried to hide the smile that was threatening to escape. He nodded and headed up to Justins bedroom.   
    
Justin was face down in his pillow, legs tangled in the bedsheets.   
    
Lance climbed on the bed, straddling Justins back. He leaned over and kissed Justins neck softly.   
    
Justin moaned and turned his head slightly. Lance moved from his neck to his ear.   
    
I could get used to waking up like this. Justin mumbled.   
    
Lance laid down next to him. Good afternoon, sexy. Ready to go study at Chris?   
    
Justin rolled onto his side and pulled Lance to him. Cant we just stay in bed? I want to cuddle with you.   
    
Lance smiled and kissed Justins nose. I would want nothing more then that, but we cant.   
    
We can cuddle there, right?   
    
Of course. Now go throw some clean clothes on and lets roll. 

* * *

Afternoon, guys. Josh waved from the lawn as they climbed out of the car. Lance took Justins hand and held it as they walked over to him.   
    
Playing yard boy today, Josh?   
    
Josh smacked Lance lightly. Thats yard man to you. And someones gotta do it since youre stealing my usual yard boy for the day. He scratched his chest and grinned at them. Besides, Chris likes it when I work up a sweat.   
    
And Im sure the fact you arent wearing a shirt thrills him to no end.   
    
Josh shrugged. Dont you like it when Justin doesnt wear a shirt?   
    
Lance blushed. No comment.   
    
Josh! Let them come inside. I cant watch you sweat if you arent working. Chris shouted from the porch. 

Shouldnt you be making me dinner or something? Josh shouted back.   
    
How did they know? Justin whispered in Lances ear, squeezing his hand tightly.   
    
Josh and I had coffee yesterday. Chris was at his moms so I stole Josh for a bit. Is that okay?   
    
Justin smiled. Of course.   
    


* * *

Guys, call me weird but I think itll be easier to do the problems if you have both your hands.   
    
Justin blushed and let go of Lances hand.   
    
Thanks. Now Ill be able to read Lances handwriting.   
    
Josh walked through the living room with his T-shirt wrapped around his waist. Chris let his gaze wander. Both Justin and Lance laughed. He whipped his head back to the two of them, blushing slightly.   
    
Whats so funny?   
    
You guys never really showed all that much affection in front us before you found out we were gay too.   
    
Excuse me for being careful. This is my job we are talking about. Truthfully, you guys shouldnt even be over here.   
    
Really? We didnt know you could get in trouble for this.   
    
Chris smiled. Its okay guys. Id like to think that Josh and I have managed to help you two with more then just math.   
    
You have. Justin said softly.   
    
Hey! You were supposed to make me food, Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick! Josh shouted from the kitchen.   
    
Bottom shelf next to the leftover ziti. Chris shouted back.   
    
What leftover ziti? I thought you ate that for breakfast.   
    
Chris rolled his eyes. Scuse me for a second. I swear that man is blind sometimes.   
    
Chris walked out of the room. 

Do you have any idea how to do number 3? Justin asked Lance.   
    
Nope. Lance leaned over and kissed him softly. Justin smiled and wrapped his arms around Lances neck as he slid his chair closer to him.   
    
Well have Chris explain it when he gets back.   
    
Okay. Lance kissed Justins neck as he answered him. Their lips met and they lost all track of time.   
    
Aww...how cute. Josh said, wrapping his arms around Chris waist as they watched Lance and Justin from the doorway. Remember when we couldnt keep our hands off each other like that?   
    
Chris smiled and rested his head on Joshs shoulder. Hell, I still dont want to keep my hands off you.   
    
Youre so cute sometimes, Chris.   
    
And you need to put a shirt on before I attack you, JC.   
    
Josh began to laugh. Its been ages since you called me that. What brought that on?   
    
Chris shrugged. I always liked that nickname.   
    
Josh let go of him and smacked his ass lightly. You go interrupt the lovebirds. Ill see if I can resurrect that dish you say is chicken. 

It is chicken. Chris protested.   
    
Sure sweetie. If I cant fix it, why dont we go out to dinner?   
    
I told the boys they could stay for dinner.   
    
Josh smiled. So well bring them with us. Well go to Renatas.   
    
Oh, Renatas. Dont try too hard to fix dinner. Chris planted a kiss on his lips and went back over to the table.   
    


* * *

I suggest the cheeseburger platter. Josh said to Lance quietly. Lance shrugged and squeezed Justins hand tightly. Justin looked over at him and smiled happily. He and Chris were talking to each other.   
    
JC! A voice called out from across the room. 

Joshs head spun around and he groaned. Chris. Hes here. Josh said softly, keeping a fake smile plastered on his face.   
    
Oh great. Chris said, replacing his usual smile with a very obviously fake one.   
    
Josh stood up and hugged the man who had shouted his name. How are you, Tyler?   
    
Good, Jace. How are you? And how is my dear sweet brother-in-law? Tyler asked, smiling at Chris.   
    
Not bad, Tyler. Chris said. So what brings you out of the dungeon on a school night?   
    
Tyler laughed. Aww, Chrissy. He leaned over and pinched Chris cheeks. Is it someones time of the month again?   
    
Josh grabbed Tyler and turned him away from Chris before Chris hit him.   
    
Shouldnt you be getting back to your friends?   
    
Tyler grinned and looked at Lance and Justin. Arent you going to introduce me to your friends first? They look like jailbait to me.   
    
Josh gritted his teeth. Tyler, there are our friends Justin and Lance. This is my little brother, Tyler.   
    
Tyler smiled and pushed his brother lightly. Little brother. According to Chrissy, Im the bigger brother.   
    
Chris jumped up. Okay, thats enough. Get out of here, Tyler. Chris turned him around and pushed him away.   
    
Ill tell Mom and Dad you both say hi. Tyler said as he walked away.   
    
Josh buried his head in his hands. Chris patted his back. Hes gone now. 

Josh nodded and lifted his head. Justin and Lance didnt say anything. 

Sorry that you had to meet him. Hes the embarrassment of the Chasez family. Josh said, reaching for his beer.   
    
The rest of the family is quite normal. Tyler just seems to hate me more then most people do. Chris said sitting back down.   
    
Um, this is a little weird, but he called you brother-in-law. Are you guys actually married?   
    
Josh shook his head. Nope. Tyler just likes to call Chris that to piss him off. Just like he calls me Jace.   
    
Joeys brother does that to Christina. He calls her Chrissy all the time. Justin said.   
    
But does he like Christina?   
    
I dont think Steve has ever met a woman he doesnt like. Lance laughed.   
    
A woman leaned over and kissed Chris on the cheek. Hey, dearie. 

Chris chuckled and kissed her back. I would like the two of you to meet the whole reason we come to Renatas so often. This is my best friend in the world and the head chef here, Danielle.   
    
Danielle smacked him lightly. You forgot to say the greatest female lay youve ever had too.   
    
Honey, you were the only girl I slept with. Chris laughed. These are two of my students, Dani. The blond is Lance and the blond with curly hair is Justin.   
    
Danielle laughed and kissed both of them. Its a pleasure to meet you both. Am I making Josh his usual tonight?   
    
Josh smiled. Toss a side of onion rings on mine instead of the fries.   
    
Chris grinned. Getting fancy tonight, honey.   
    
Danielle groaned and rested her arms on his shoulders. I appreciate how much you like my cheeseburgers, Josh, but have you ever thought of trying something else? I make a fantastic chicken parmesan.   
    
Josh kissed her and laughed. I want my burger, bitch.   
    
She smacked him. Watch who youre calling a bitch. Ill cook your burger wrong.   
    
What am I getting the two of you? Danielle smiled at Lance and Justin.   
    
Umm...Ill have the broccoli and cheese pizza. Justin said softly.   
    
Ill try the cheeseburger. Josh tells me theyre pretty good. Lance said.   
    
Hm...let me guess. Fettuccine alfredo. 

Chris nodded. Damn, youre good.   
    
I know. Ill be back with your food in a bit. Danielle kissed Chris again.   
    
Is that _the_ Danielle? Justin asked Chris. 

Josh began to laugh. None other then the girl Chris dated for four years. His former fiancée.   
    
You were engaged? Lance asked in astonishment. 

Chris nodded. Dani and I dated from the time we were 17 until 21. And yes, I did propose to her. Shes the one who called it off because she knew I was gay. It took her a little time to convince me that it was true.   
    
So you went through it too? Lance asked, reaching for Justins hand.   
    
Not all of us had the good luck to know we were gay early on like you and Josh did, Lance. We had to experience the awkward denial period. Chris said, reaching for Joshs hand.   
    
What was it like?   
    
Not knowing? Chris asked Lance.   
    
Yeah. I dont think I ever went through that.   
    
Why dont you ask Justin? Chris suggested gently. Because my situation was very different then his is.   
    
I know about Justins situation. Id like to hear about yours if its okay.   
    
How about we save that for another night? Like the night after you two pass my midterm. Chris grinned.   
    
Justin groaned. Can he still hear the story if we dont pass?   
  
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	16. Chapter Fifteen

Justins eyes closed despite his attempts to stay awake. He felt a sharp poke in his side and jumped slightly. Christina glared at him and pointed to his paper. Justin looked down at his paper and tried to focus on the questions.   
    
He snuck a peek at Lance. They had ended up lying on Justins roof making out until about 2:30 after they got back from dinner with Chris and Josh. They only realized how late it was because Joey threw a tennis ball at them. He had woken up to pee and had seen them out there. Justin smiled, remembering Lances surprise when the tennis ball hit him in the side. Joey was hanging out the window gesturing at his wrist. Justin had gotten the idea and looked at his watch. One more kiss on Lances soft lips and they finally headed to sleep.   
    
Justin shook his head and tried to answer the questions in front of him. He needed to concentrate on the midterm.   


 

* * *

 

You look like shit. Britney remarked as she sat down next to Justin. Thanks.   
    
Britney grinned and patted his shoulder. Bliss test wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. She pulled out her French notebook from her bag. 

I kept falling asleep, but it wasnt terrible. Are you ready for your French midterm?   
    
Oui monsieur. You have English next, right?   
    
Justin nodded.   
    
I havent told anyone. She said softly, not looking up from her notebook.   
    
About us? Britney nodded. I havent either.   
    
Hey, kids. Jeff slid into the seat next to Britney.

Morning, Timmons. How was Kirkpatricks midterm?   
    
Jeff groaned. Thank the lord its over.   
    
Super. That makes me feel really good. Justin slid further into his chair. 

Youll do fine, Justin. Britney said absentmindedly.   
    
So did you two break up again or not?   
    
Britney finally looked up from her notebook. Yeah, we did. She said, looking back down again.   
    
So I should place my bet on after lunch for the reconciliation? Jeff grinned.   
    
Justin shook his head. Actually, this is for real, Jeff. Were finished. 

Jeff chuckled. Okay, sure Justin. So how was Bliss?   
    
Justin sighed. Not too bad. Study the Vietnam war a lot.   
    
Gotcha.   
    
The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. Justin sighed and grabbed his bag. Britney caught his arm, pulling him down to whisper in his ear.   
    
Do you think Jeff is cute?   
    
Justin blushed deeply and just shrugged. Hes okay, He whispered back as they walked out. Not my type though.   
    
What is your type?   
    
Justin looked at her oddly. I guess I kinda lean towards blondes. 

Britney nodded. So thats why we broke up. Im not a blonde.   
    
Justin laughed and threw his arm around her shoulder. Well, you were blonde on occasion.   
    
What else do you like?   
    
Justin shrugged. I dont really know. Its not so much a look more then a feeling. I think someone can be drop dead gorgeous and be the ugliest person on the world inside. So looks dont really matter.   
    
Kind of like Nick. She said softly.   
    
Justin stopped her in the hall. Dont feel bad about that. Nick is not a horrible person. Hes just kind of an asshole sometimes. Dont beat yourself up about it. Im not mad at you. I love you. Youre my Bits.   
    
I know and youre my Justy.   
    
They started walking again, in silence, both of them thinking.   
    
Why are you asking me these questions?   
    
Britney shrugged, stopping in front of her French classroom. Im trying to get to know you.   
    
Justin sighed as she walked in the classroom. He hated that she didnt consider him the same person as he was before he told her. Justin walked into his classroom and sat down. At least she was taking it pretty well. When Lance told her he was gay, she wouldnt talk to him for a week.   
    
Uh, hi Justin. Nick said as he sat down in his seat next to Justin.   
    
Hey Carter. Justin looked over at him. Nick looked really nervous. Relax Nick. Im not going to hurt you or anything. 

Nick nodded. It was still really shitty of me. I understand if you hate me.   
    
Justin sighed. Can we talk about this after the midterm? Youre coming to Chrissys for lunch, right?   
    
Nick nodded. Gotta uphold tradition.   
    
    


* * *

  

Joey! Put him down! Christina shouted at him. Nick jumped and looked at Howie and AJ. They walked into the living room.   
    
What? Joey asked. He was holding her four year old brother Ben upside down by his legs.   
    
Why do you always insist on torturing my family?   
    
Aw come on. He likes it. Dont you, Ben?   
    
Ben just laughed at them all. AJ bent over and twisted his neck so he was looking at Ben.   
    
Hey Benny.   
    
Hi Alex. Mommy wants to talk to you.   
    
AJ groaned and stood up. What did I do this time?   
    
Ben shrugged as best as he could upside down. I think Aunt Denise found out about your stash.   
    
AJ looked at him in amazement. What stash? That could mean so many things.   
    
The comic books under your bed. 

AJ blushed. Ah yeah. My comic books. Thanks.   
    
Porn stash? Nick asked him softly. 

AJ nodded. Be back soon. Dont tease the gay boy without me.   
    
Joey frowned and turned Ben right side up, putting him on the ground.   
    
Brit came with you two, right? Howie asked sitting on the couch. 

Christina nodded. Shes upstairs playing with the baby.   
    
Where are the other two members of your rag-tag bunch at? Nick asked sitting down as well.   
    
On their way. Lance drove Justin in this morning. I think they needed to stop at Lances house first.   
    
Diane knocked softly on Lances bedroom door. She pushed it open slightly.   
    
Lance. Justin. You need to go over to Chrissys. You cant keep them waiting.   
    
Justin groaned softly and cuddled against Lance more. Do we have to go?   
    
Yes. Diane said, grabbing Lances foot and yanking at it. She grinned as her son held onto Justin tighter. I dont want to have to deal with the wrath of Nicole when you dont show up for the midterm lunch. 

Lance sat up and pouted. But Mommy, I want to kiss Justin more. Both Diane and Justin laughed at his whine. Lance broke into a smile. 

You can kiss him more later. 

Diane yanked Lances foot one more time before giving up. I gotta pee. Lance said, jumping out of the bed a quickly running out of the room. 

Hes got a bladder like an infant. Diane said, sitting on the bed next to Justin. How are you doing, sweetie? She asked, putting her arm around Justin. 

Well if I stop thinking about the fact my parents are going to kill me, Im very happy. 

Diane nodded. I already told James that the two of you are always welcome over here. I would prefer that you not risk doing anything over your house. 

Justin blushed. We havent really done anything. 

Diane chuckled. Justin sweetie. I have no problem with you and Lance doing stuff. I just dont really want to know about my sons sex life. 

Justin blushed again. I thought Lance told you everything. 

Diane nodded. Oh he does. Just not in great detail. Lance walked back into the bedroom. 

Ready to go? 

Justin nodded and stood up. Yeah. I have to have a chat with Nick later anyway. 

Lance squeezed his hand. Itll be fine. 

Justin nodded. I know. Im not worried about talking to Nick. 

Well, Ill see you later, James. Diane kissed his cheek. And you too, Justin. 

Bye Diane. Justin hugged her. 

Justin and Lance hurried through the yard to Christinas house. That was the nice thing about all of them living on the same block. Only Britney lived on a different street. 

Lance opened the front door and walked inside. A moment later, he was attacked by Princess, the Agulerias collie. 

Hi, Princess. Sit! He ordered. She did, her tail wagging happily. Lance bent down and hugged her. 

Jimmy! Mrs. Aguleria came out of the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Lance tightly. The Bass and the Agulerias were really close. Diane and Nicole had been close friends all their lives. Diane had been thrilled when Jim was transferred to Orlando. 

Hi, Nicole. 

She ruffled Lances hair before letting him go. Hi, Justin. How are you? 

Good, Mrs. A. He hugged her tightly. 

Well, everyone else is already out back. Go join them. 

They headed out back, followed closely by Princess. Look they finally made it! AJ shouted tossing a piece of orange at Justin. 

Blow me, McLean. Justin said, sitting down at the picnic table. Lance sat next to him, their legs brushing together slightly. 

Eww. No thank you. I dont like boys. 

Really, AJ? Im surprised. You are the most flaming one at this table. Much more so then the resident gay boys. Joey clapped his hand over his mouth. Oh shit. I didnt mean it. 

Justin winced. He rested his head on the table. Lance rubbed his back gently. 

Uh, whats going on? Why was boys plural? Howie asked, looking around the table. Nick and AJs expressions mirrored his own confused look. 

I thought Lance was our only resident gay boy? AJ asked, staring at Justin, taking in his reaction. 

Well, um. Justin and I broke up. Britney said. Partially because of me and Nick and partially because we both knew it was time. 

She looked over at Justin and Lance. And also because Justin is gay. 

AJ began to laugh hysterically. Thats really fucking hilarious. Justin being gay. Wow. 

Howie smacked him in the shoulder hard. Its not a joke. So shut up. 

AJ looked over at him in surprise. Hes really gay? 

Yes Im really gay. Justin said lifting his head from the table. Go on. Say something. 

Howie shrugged. Doesnt bother me. I never had a problem with Lance and I see no reason to have a problem with you. 

Nick pushed his chair back and stood up. I gotta get some air. 

AJ watched him walk away. When do you think hes going to realize that we are already outside? AJ turned back to Justin. Im fine with it, but I am going to go chase after him and see whats up. You two make a cute couple. 

Both Justin and Lance froze in shock as AJ took off after Nick. Britney sat back in her chair, her mouth open. Joey and Christina stared at them. Howie took a bite of his sandwich and waited. 

Can someone please explain to me what he meant by that? Britney asked quietly. 

It was AJ being stupid. You know how he is. My cousin talks without thinking. Christina said quickly. The look on Britneys face said it all. She didnt believe a word Christina had said. 

Brit, can we go talk somewhere privately? Justin asked softly. He stood up and tried to take her arm. She yanked it away. 

No. You do this here and now. Obviously other people know something I dont know. Tell me. 

Justin sat down again. Well, Lance and I are, he paused. were kind of seeing each other. 

Her hand connected with the side of his face in a loud slap. A moment later she hit Lance as well. 

You are both fucking bastards! I hate you both! 

Britney was up and gone a moment later. Christina got up and ran after her. Brit! Wait! 

Joey stood up and looked back and forth between where Christina had followed Britney and to where AJ and Nick had headed off to. 

You go with the girls. Ill go see how Nick and AJ are, Howie said standing up. I suggest the two of you go home. 

Joey nodded. I think thats a good idea too. Ill call you guys later.   
    
Lance managed to help Justin stand up. He put his arm around Justins waist and nodded to Joey.   
    
Christina managed to catch Britney as she ran down the street towards her house.   
    
Britney, please wait. Christina grabbed her friends arm and held onto it tightly. Britney turned to look at her friend for a moment before wrapping her arms around Christina.   
    
Its okay, sweetie. Let it out.   
    
Joeys arms wrapped around them both. Lets get her home. Well talk there.   
    
Christina nodded. Can we take her to your house? I dont want to deal with her mom right now.   
    
I think thats a good idea.   
    
Britney sniffled. I want my Daddy. Joey sighed and wrapped his arms around her again, picking her up like a child.   
    
Dude, hes gay. Nick said softly. 

AJ nodded. I know. And hes dating Lance.   
    
Nicks head swiveled around. Hes dating Lance? God, what the fuck is happening to my friends?   
    
AJ put his hand on Nicks shoulder as Howie joined them. Nothings changed, man. Just relax.   
    
Hell no! I fucked Britney. He was fucking Britney. So through her, I fucked a queer.   
    
Oh jeez. AJ said, rolling his eyes. Howie held up his hand before AJ could say something stupid.   
    
Nick, I want you to think about what you just said. Howie said softly to him. 

Nick looked at him oddly. Im not gay.   
    
Howie sighed. Thats not what I was saying. You just said something very mean about one of your closest friends.   
    
Nick ran his hands through his long blond hair. I just cant believe that Justin is gay. Hell, if hes gay, anyone can be gay.   
    
Well duh, Nick. AJ said. Howie smacked him. Its something we have to deal with, Nick. And we need to be here to support him in the future.   
    
Of course Ill support him. Its just...damn. Nick said. He plays sports. Hell, hes the best basketball player Ive ever seen. How can he be gay?   
    
Well he just is. I thought we explained this to you when Lance came out.   
    
Nick chuckled. Well thats Lance. I wasnt surprised there. He looks gay.   
    
So because Justin doesnt look gay, he cant be gay?   
    
Nick groaned. Why do you have to do stuff like this, D? You talk in circles until you prove that I am an idiot and I made a mistake. Well, yet again, the great Dorough mind has shown the miniscule Carter mind that he is an asshole.   
    
Howie nodded and patted Nicks shoulder. Good. Thats what Im here for.   
    
So I guess this means we need to cancel that Playboy subscription we got Justin for his birthday. AJ said with a grin. We can just get him Playgirl instead now.   
    
Howie just groaned.   
  
---  
  
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	17. Chapter Sixteen

Please sit. Chris said, gesturing to the couch. Britney sighed and sat down. All of you, please sit. Theres plenty of room.   
    
Christina and Joey sat on the loveseat. Chris sat down and looked at the three teenagers sitting in front of him.   
    
I dont want to seem pushy, but the three of you have never been in my house before. Britney and Joey arent even in any of my classes.   
    
Did you know that Justin was dating Lance? Britney asked.   
    
Chris took a deep breath. Is that why you are here? 

Joey nodded. I told them this was a stupid idea, but they didnt listen to me.   
    
Its not a stupid idea, Joey. Christina knows that I am always here to listen to my students.   
    
Id rather you talk now, Mr. Kirkpatrick. Britney said to him.   
    
Before I answer anything, will you tell me what brought this question on?   
    
We always have lunch at my house during midterms. Well, Joey accidentally slipped that Justin is gay. So Nick kinda got a little bent out of shape. AJ headed off to see how he was. But before he left, he happened to say you two make a cute couple.   
    
Oh, Chris said softly. And then Justin told Britney the truth.   
    
Christina nodded. How did you know?   
    
Where else would that story go?   
    
The front door opened and Josh walked into the house, dropping his briefcase on the table in the hallway.   
    
Chris? Whos car is out front?   
    
Chris stood up. Excuse me for a moment. He walked into the hallway, gesturing for Josh to follow him into the dining room. He shut the door.   
    
Britney, Joey, and Christina are here. Apparently the cat is out of the bag.   
    
Joshs jaw dropped. Why did they come here?   
    
Chris shrugged. She wants to know if I knew about them. What do I say?   
    
Josh hugged Chris, holding onto him. Dont say anything until I call Lance. They need to be here too.   
    
I dont think this is a good idea, them being here. I dont want to be a part of this situation.   
    
You shouldnt be part of this situation. This is your job on the line now.   
    
My job isnt on the line, Josh. Justin and Lances trust is though.   
    
Josh sighed. I dont think you are looking at the big picture here, Chris.   
    
What is the big picture?   
    
I dont know. I just know this isnt our business.   
    
Chris kissed him. Ill do whats right.   
    
For them or for us?   
    
Chris sighed. I dont know.   
    
Josh let him go. Im going to go call Lance. You stall them.   
    
Cant I call Lance instead? You can stall them.   
    
Josh pushed Chris towards the living room. Go. His voice was angry, making Chris even more annoyed that all this was happening. Now Josh was angry at him.   
    
Chris returned to the living room, sitting back down. Josh is going to call Lance. Until he gets here, Im not going to say anything, Britney. Im sorry.   
    
Her eyes glittered with tears. Of course not. You **faggots** need to stick together.   
    
Britney! Christina said, shocked that she would say that. Chris gripped the arms of the chair, keeping himself calm.   
    
Please do not ever use that word in my home again, Britney. His voice was even but the tone was firm.   
    
Im really sorry about all this, Mr. Kirkpatrick. Joey said softly. This doesnt involve you at all.   
    
Chris sighed. It doesnt really involve anyone other then Justin and Britney, but thats besides the point.   
    
Josh walked into the living room, feeling terribly uncomfortable. Justin and Lance being in his home was one thing. This was entirely different.   
    
He put his hand on Chris shoulder. Chris smiled at him and rested his hand on top of Joshs.   
    
Lance and Justin are on their way over. Josh said softly. Chris nodded.   
    
Joey and Christina tried not to look at them. Britney just glared. Chris squeezed Joshs hand.   
    
Josh, these are students of mine: Joey Fatone, Christina Aguleria, and Britney Spears. Guys, this is Josh Chasez.   
    
Your boyfriend. Britney spit out angrily. Christina put her head in her hands. This was terrible.   
    
Yes. Josh is my boyfriend, Britney. He said. Do you have a problem with that?   
    
Britney shook her head, biting her lip at the same time. No I dont, She slumped against the couch. I dont have a problem with you being gay.   
    
But you have a problem with Justin being gay? Chris asked gently. Britney nodded.   
    
I thought it was okay. She said softly. I thought I could deal with him being gay as long as he was still part of my life. But I cant. I want him to be mine. I dont want Lance to have him. I dont want anyone else to have him.   
    
Tears were now running down her face. Christina had moved next to her, wrapping her arms around her friend and letting her cry. Joey looked more uncomfortable then he had before, if that was possible.   
    
Josh sighed and left the room, leaving Chris to deal with this himself. Chris sighed heavily. He was a math teacher. This wasnt his area of expertise. How did he get himself into this situation?   
    
Its only been a few days, Britney. Itll get easier. Chris said weakly, knowing that wasnt going to help.   
    
Josh began to pull food out of the refrigerator angrily, dropping it on the counter. He pushed his glasses up, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he knelt in front of the vegetable crisper.   
    
Work had been extremely aggravating today. This was not how he wanted to spend his evening, counseling a bunch of screwed-up teenagers. He liked Justin and Lance, but this was getting to be too much of a hassle for him and Chris to be a part of.   
    
Chris seemed to keep forgetting that his job was an issue here, not just how Justin and Lance were feeling. If anything happened to Chris job, they would be in trouble. Josh wouldnt be able to support the two of them alone for long. And the possibility of Chris career recovering from a gay scandal was slim to none.   
    
He needed a drink. Tonight was definitely going to be a wine with dinner night. If they ever got around to having dinner that is.   
    
The doorbell rang and Josh stood up. He walked to the door, not even glancing into the living room.   
    
Lances hand shook as he pressed the doorbell. Joeys car was out front and he knew that was a bad thing. Justin was clutching his other hand tightly, his eyes red-rimmed. He was pretty much silent at this point, having no idea what to say or do anymore.   
    
The front door opened and Josh smiled at them. His familiar face and warm blue eyes made Lance feel a little better.   
    
I am so glad the two of you are here. Josh said softly. I got home and they were here. We dont know what to do.   
    
Lance nodded, pulling Justin forward gently. Well, neither do we. Im really sorry they came here though. You two are not involved in this.   
    
We are now. Josh led them into the living room without another word. Justin stopped in the doorway, refusing to move when he saw the scene in front of him.   
    
Chris, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment? Justin asked, his voice shaking.   
    
Chris squeezed the bridge of his nose and nodded. He passed Josh and took Justin by the arm, walking him into the kitchen.   
    
What is going on, Mr. Timberlake? Chris hissed at him, suddenly extremely anger at Justin for bringing him into this.   
    
Justin slumped in one of the chairs. I dont know. I honestly dont know anymore. I just want everything to go back to normal. I never should have said anything.   
    
Well its too late for that now. Chris voice softened and he put his arm around Justins shoulder. What should I tell them?   
    
That you didnt know anything. Justin said softly. Thatll be easiest for you.   
    
Chris made a split second decision. That wont be easiest for you. Ill tell the truth.   
    
You dont have to. Justin said weakly, though he really wanted Chris on his side. He needed Chris to support him in this.   
    
Chris wavered for a moment, but he hugged Justin briefly. Ive supported you in this so far. I cant turn back now. He smiled wanly. Josh is a little pissed off though.   
    
Im sorry about this. Justins chin trembled. I never should have brought you into this.   
    
Chris touched Justins shoulder. I brought myself into this. Chris guided Justin out of the kitchen.   
    
Im an biomedical engineer, actually. Josh said to Joey. He looked up as Chris and Justin walked back in the room. Britney was blowing her nose softly, tears still slipping down her cheeks.   
    
Josh stood up and glared at Chris. Im going to go make dinner. He stalked out of the room. Chris sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again.   
    
If I answer your question, will all of you leave? Chris asked, sitting back down in the chair. Justin had sat next to Joey, almost hiding behind him. He didnt want to touch Lance with Britney sitting there.   
    
Yes. Britney said. Well leave.   
    
Both Josh and I knew that Lance and Justin liked each other. Weve been aware that they have been dating since Saturday. Lance told us. Chris sat forward. And I have known that Justin was gay for a little over two weeks now. I had my suspicions before then.   
    
He sat back. Is there anything else you need to know? Chris heard the back door slam and he knew Josh had heard him tell the truth. He had to go fix that as soon as possible.   
    
Why? Britney asked softly.   
    
I dont understand what you are asking me. Chris said to her. Everyone else seemed to disappear. It was just Chris and Britney.   
    
Why did they talk to you?   
    
I think thats something to ask them, not me.   
    
Britney shook her head. I want you to answer that.   
    
I would like to think they talked to Josh and I because they trusted us. And because we can offer a little bit of insight into... He paused, choosing his words carefully. Into being in a gay relationship.   
    
Chris raised his eyebrows. Anything else? He had to get back to Josh. He didnt want to leave him out back, smoking a cigarette, and seething alone. Besides, he really needed a cigarette as well.   
    
What would you do if I told everyone about this? You having students into your home. Isnt that a violation of school policy? Especially if it came out that you propositioned them. Britney said.

Chris gasped and sat back. You wouldnt?   
    
Wouldnt I? Whos to say that it didnt happen? Britney asked innocently.   
    
Stop it. Justin said loudly. Dont do this, Britney.   
    
She jumped and looked over at him. Dont talk to me.   
    
Chris face had gone ashen. Joey and Christina had no idea what to say or do. Lances mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out.   
    
Britney stood up and looked at all of them, finally settling her gaze on Chris. Youre right. I wouldnt do that. Im ready to go now.   
    
Joey pulled Christina up and followed Britney, dragging Christina behind him. He stopped as he passed Chris.   
    
Im so sorry, Mr. Kirkpatrick. Joey said softly, before leaving the house.   
    
Lance hugged Justin tightly. Chris, Im so sorry. I never...   
    
Chris cut him off.   
    
Get out. He said evenly, his voice cold. Now.   
  
---  
  
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	18. Chapter Seventeen

Chris opened the back door and stepped outside. Josh was leaning against the wood railing, staring at their garden intently. He was smoking a cigarette, his hand moving from the railing to his mouth every so often. His suit jacket was slung over the railing with his tie on top of it. He had unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it untucked. Chris admired him for a moment, knowing that he was the luckiest person alive.   
    
Why did you do that? Josh asked, turning to look at him.   
    
Chris held out his hand before answering. Josh handed him the pack of Camels and a lighter. Chris lit one, taking a deep lungful of the smoke and started coughing.   
    
Why do you have to smoke Camels? He asked between coughs. I cant take them anymore.   
    
You never could smoke them, Chris. You just pretended that you could, holding the smoke in your mouth and exhaling.   
    
Chris sighed. I hate smoking anyway.   
    
Then why do you do it?   
    
I dont know. Chris put the pack of cigarettes on the railing and hopped up on it. He reached over to touch Joshs shoulder gently, turning him towards him.   
    
Im sorry.   
    
Josh nodded. I know you are. Josh gently cupped Chris cheek. He smiled and dropped his hand again.   
    
They both smoked in silence, Josh staring at the garden and Chris staring at the back of the house.   
    
Why did you tell them the truth? Josh finally broke the silence, putting his cigarette out on the deck.   
    
Because it was easier for Justin. Chris said softly. He needs someone on his side.   
    
He has people on his side, Chris. Josh moved away from him, walking down the steps to the backyard.   
    
Chris pivoted on the railing to follow his progress. But Ive been there for him all along. He needed me now.   
    
Youre taking your role as mentor a little too far. You arent his father, Chris. Josh knelt down and began to pluck weeds from the ground with his delicate fingers.   
    
I know Im not his father. Chris said softly. I really care for him though. He hasnt had it easy.   
    
Josh looked up at him. You cant protect him.   
    
I can try though.   
    
Josh stood back up and wiped his hands on his pants. Dont do that. Chris scolded. Its so hard to get dirt and grass stains out of linen.   
    
Who cares! Josh shouted. Theyre just clothes!   
    
Chris pulled back slightly. Josh had just yelled at him over something completely stupid.   
    
Stop protecting Justin and start protecting yourself. What if Britney decides to hurt Justin by hurting you? What if, heaven forbid, Justins mother finds out and somehow traces this back to you? What then, Chris? Have you thought about any of this?   
    
Chris slid off the railing, fighting his urge to shout back, to turn this into a fight.   
    
I have thought about it. Ive thought about it a lot. And Im risking it, okay. He needs me.   
    
Josh closed the space between them, grabbing Chris shoulders. His blue eyes were flashing behind his glasses.   
    
I need you, Chris. He whispered. Chris looked away. I just want to be there for him. I want him to feel that he has someone to talk to, to support him in this.   
    
Chris looked back at his boyfriend. I want him to have that because I never had that. I dont want him to have to go through all this alone.   
    
Oh Chris. Josh said softly. Hes not going to go through anything alone. He has Joey, Christina, and Lance. And to some extent, he has Britney.   
    
Josh, I know being gay was something you never questioned. You never had to question it. And I envy you for that. I would have killed to have someone there to answer my questions for me, to tell me what I was feeling was normal. I had to struggle with everything until Danielle finally decided to clue me in on what I was feeling.   
    
Chris began to pace along the deck. I refuse to let Justin drift along without some sort of guidance. If Lynne finds out, I want him to be able to turn to me for support.   
    
Its not if, Chris. Its when. And have you thought at all about what I might want?   
    
Chris turned to face Josh again, his face registering shock. In this particular situation, it doesnt matter what you want. Im going to do this anyway.   
    
He immediately regretted saying it. Joshs jaw dropped. Fine, Chris. Do whatever the hell you want! I cant promise that Ill be here to pick up the pieces of your life, of our life, when it all goes to shit!   
    
Dont say that, Josh. Please dont say that.   
    
Josh crossed his arms, willing himself to stay mad despite the look that was on Chris face.   
    
He sighed heavily, pulling his eyes away from Chris gaze. I just want you to understand what you are risking.   
    
Why are you so adamant against this, Josh?   
    
Josh shifted his weight uneasily. A few reasons. His voice was soft now.   
    
Chris moved over to him, lifting Joshs chin with his hand. Tell me.   
    
Im scared of what could happen. I know you arent, but I am. I dont want to have to watch you go through a scandal because of your sexuality. Josh chewed on his cheek. I dont want you to have to go through a scandal because of me.   
    
That will never...   
    
Josh cut him off. Dont say never. It could easily happen. Remember how long you agonized about inviting Justin and Lance into our home. You were scared then. You didnt want to have your relationship with me exposed to the school. All the issues you are shooting down now weighed heavily on you then. What happened between then and now to change your mind so much?   
    
I found someone who needed me. Chris said softly.   
    
Josh stepped back. Are you willing to risk me for this teenager?   
    
No! Chris answered quickly. Im not willing to risk losing you. I love you, Josh. I love you more then anybody in the world.   
    
Then remember that I need you too.   
    
Please dont make me choose, Josh.   
    
Joshs hand touched his cheek again. Im not going to make you choose between Justin and me. Im just asking that you step back from all of this.   
    
I dont know if I can.   
    
Try.   
    
Well see. Joshs hand left his cheek. He was picking up his jacket and tie. The cigarettes disappeared into his pants pocket.   
    
 _Well see_ isnt good enough for me. His voice was harsh, biting. Ill be at my parents house tonight. I cant stay here any longer.   
    
And he was gone, slamming the backdoor behind him. Chris slumped against the railings of the deck and listened as the engine of Joshs car started. He heard the wheels screech against the pavement.   
    
Chris head dropped to rest on his knees. He ran his fingers through his spiky hair, trying to figure out what he had just done to his relationship. And he had about 40 midterms to grade too.   
    
God, he needed a drink.   
---  
  
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	19. Chapter Eighteen

Chris propped his chin up on his fist, trying to keep his eyes open. Joshs sister Heather had called him up to scream at him around 10:30 after he had already finished two bottles of wine and was well on his way to finishing his third. It hadnt gone well. She told him that she wasnt letting Josh go back home until he came to his senses.   
    
Chris hadnt handled that well and told Heather to fuck off and mind her own business. He had hung up on her only to get a phone call about five minutes later from Joshs father, Roy.   
    
Roy had calmly told Chris to put the alcohol away and go to bed. Josh would see him tomorrow. Chris had wanted to scream and yell but he just agreed and told Roy to tell Josh that he loved him.   
    
Chris had thrown up for about a half hour this morning as soon as he stepped out of bed. He cursed himself the whole way into work. He got about halfway there before he realized he had left his briefcase with the exams at home.   
    
He cursed himself the whole way back home, threw up again, and headed back to school. He had stumbled into the faculty room and practically fell into a chair.   
    
Everything okay, Chris?   
    
If I move to answer that, I might throw up again, Glenn.   
    
Glenn Singer, an English teacher, sat down next to him. Long night?   
    
Chris leaned back against the chair. Glenn was a nice guy and Chris had spent some time with him outside work. He knew about Josh, but had never met him.   
    
Yeah, you look like shit, Chris. Megan Bliss sat down as well. Do you want anything?   
    
A gun. Chris said dryly.   
    
Megan and Glenn laughed. Josh let you get this drunk? Thats not like him.   
    
Megan knew Josh pretty well. She and her boyfriend, Mark belonged to the same church as them.   
    
Josh and I had a fight last night. This happened after he walked out of the house.   
    
What happened?   
    
Glenn pulled out some Tums and handed them to Chris who took them gratefully.   
    
Long story. Chris massaged his temples as he chewed on the Tums. Lets not get into it now. He attempted to focus on his watch. What time is it?   
    
Megan looked at her watch and stood up. Time to go to class. Megan offered him her hand. Chris took it, groaning softly as he stood up.   
    
How many more hours before I can go back to bed?

Glenn patted Chris shoulder gently. 5 more hours.   
    
Oh god. Chris moaned, picking up his briefcase. 

Megan took his arm. Cmon. Ill deposit you at your desk.   
    
Thanks.   
    
 

* * *

  

Justin pushed his sunglasses on the top of his head as he shoved his backpack in his locker. Lance was leaning on the locker next to him, his sunglasses still covering his red-rimmed eyes.   
    
I feel like shit, Lance. Justin said softly. Lance reached out and squeezed his shoulder.   
    
We just have to get through the rest of today.   
    
And tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, Lance.   
    
Well, we take this one day at a time.   
    
Justin rested his head on his locker. I really want a kiss. 

Lance smiled. Im not kissing you here.   
    
I know. Justin sighed. I was just saying I wanted a kiss thats all.   
    
Lance looked around. I...umm...have to go to the bathroom.   
    
Justin grinned. I to have to visit the bathroom.   
    
Give it up. Howie said as he passed them. He stopped and leaned in closer. AJ and I calmed Nick down yesterday. Hes okay with this and will be there for you two when you need it. I also talked to Kevin and Brian last night. Bri said congratulations and he hopes you two are happy together. Kevin said that he would come back and break heads if you need it.   
    
Justin smiled at him. No ones gonna wanna mess with Train if hes pissed off.   
    
Howie frowned. Lets just hope it doesnt come to that.   
    
Lance nodded. It wont, Howie. 

Howie narrowed his soft brown eyes at them. Lets just hope so.   
    
They watched him walk away. I think we should skip the kiss and just go to class. We need to see how angry Mr. Kirkpatrick is.   
    
Justin nodded. Lets go. 

  

* * *

 

Chris fiddled with a pencil trying not to think about anything but not dropping the pencil. The class was slowly filing in, taking their seats quietly. He must really look terrible. They were never quiet, always talking and chatting with each other and him.   
    
Mr. Kirkpatrick?   
    
Chris didnt even look up. Take your seat, Mr. Bass. Lance sighed and walked to his desk.   
    
Chris could still feel someone standing there. He looked up and saw Justin. He looked like shit to which made Chris feel a little better for some reason. He had on track pants, sandals, and an old sweater. His hair was hidden under a bandanna and he had sunglasses over his eyes.   
    
Take your seat as well, Mr. Timberlake. Chris said gently.

Justin sighed. Can we talk later?   
    
Maybe.   
    
Chris took the exams out, flipping through them absentmindedly. He played with them for a few more minutes until everyone was in their seats.   
    
Okay class. Clear your desk. Chris said, handing out the papers. There will be no talking. If you have a question, raise your hand and I will come to you. You may write in pen or pencil. I suggest pen because you will be able to argue for credit later if you feel the need to.   
    
He paused at Justins desk. However, I am never wrong, so you shouldnt feel the need to do that.   
    
I will be coming around to check your calculators when the test starts.   
    
Chris put a test down on Lances desk and walked back to the front of the classroom.   
    
You have two hours to complete this exam. You may begin.   
    
Justin flipped over his paper and took a deep breath. He could do this.   
    
The test was 15 questions long with a page for each question. Justin looked through it, gulping. He looked over at Lance who was already writing.   
    
Justin picked up his pen and went to work. He barely noticed when his calculator was taken from his hand. Chris quickly scanned the memory, deleting any programs in there.   
    
He handed it back to Justin and gently squeezed his shoulder. Justin looked up at him. Chris smiled at him for the first time this morning.   
    
Youll do fine. He mouthed to Justin.   
    
Justin nodded and smiled back at him. He would do fine. Everything would be fine. 

 

* * *

  

Chris gathered up his papers and shoved them in his briefcase haphazardly. His hangover had finally broken about halfway through the second exam period. Luckily his students were scared freshman who had never taken midterms before. They didnt notice that he suddenly woke up and started moving around the classroom.   
    
Youre looking much better.   
    
Chris turned to look at Megan. Im feeling better. I have to go talk to Josh.   
    
Megan nodded. Have you eaten anything yet today?   
    
Chris shook his head. Im feeling better but I dont think solid foods are a good idea yet.   
    
Okay. Good luck.   
    
Chris smiled and picked up his briefcase. He turned off the lights in his classroom and put his arm around Megans waist.   
    
Itll be fine. Ive apologized to Josh before.   
  
---  
  
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	20. Chapter Nineteen

Chris straightened his tie one more time before walking into the huge building in front of him. He always felt underdressed when he went to see Josh at work. Everyone always wore formal business suits under their lab coats. His comfortable suits for work seemed to stand out.   
    
Hi, Id like to see Joshua Chasez.   
    
The secretary looked at him for a moment, staring at him over her glasses.   
    
Identification please.   
    
Chris handed her his license which she stared at, eyes flicking back and forth between the picture on the license and Chris smiling face. He couldnt wait to get a new license. People always gave him weird looks when they saw the braids.   
    
She finally put the license down and ran the name through the computer. Chris knew he was on Joshs list of people who were allowed access to his labs.   
    
Mr. Chasez is currently in his lab on the fourth floor. Pick up a pair of safety glasses and a lab coat on your way up.   
    
Chris smiled at her, taking the visitors pass she handed him. He had only been to this lab once before. It had been last year when Joshs company had tried Family Day. Josh had brought Chris with him and showed him all the various labs and offices he worked in. If Chris remembered correctly that was one of his robotics labs.   
    
Chris put on the sterile white lab coat and the annoying safety glasses before knocking on the lab door.   
    
A young woman walked over to the door, opening it and stepping outside.   
    
What can I do for you? She asked, her gaze taking in his visitor pass.   
    
"Im here to see Joshua Chasez, please.   
    
She eyed him carefully now. Do you have clearance? 

Chris nodded, showing her the visitors tag. She examined it for the little sticker that gave him clearance to all the high security labs. 

He is in his office in the back of the labs. Ill take you back to him.   
    
Thank you. Chris put his badge back on and followed her through the lab. He was always amazed at the equipment around him, but he had no clue what they were doing. A robotic hand waved to him as he walked by it. He awkwardly waved back.   
    
Josh was sitting on his desk talking to a young man who was holding a foot in his hand. Chris stood behind the young woman and waited for her to announce him.   
    
Josh, theres someone here to see you.   
    
Josh looked up and nodded to her, turning back to the young man in front of him.   
    
Hook it up to the simulation and get a readout, Dan. I think we need to change some of the balance parameters.   
    
Dan nodded and left the small room. Josh hopped off the desk and sat in his chair.   
    
Who is here to see me, Kimberly?   
    


I am. Chris said softly. 

Josh nodded. Can you please excuse us, Kimberly? And shut the door behind you.   
    
Kimberly shut the door softly, leaving them alone. 

You can take off the lab coat and safety glasses now, Chris. You only have to wear them in the lab area.   
    
Chris smiled. You dont like the fashion statement Im trying to pull off? I think it goes great with the two different colored socks.   
    
He lifted his pant legs and showed Josh the green sock and the purple sock.   
    
Josh smiled. I knew you were helpless without me.   
    
Chris sat down on the desk, tossing the coat and glasses on the opposite chair. Im really sorry about last night.   
    
Josh rolled his chair towards Chris and rested his arms on Chris legs.   
    
I cant believe you told Heather to fuck off. Im surprised she didnt try to kill you over the phone.   
    
If I had been sober I would have actually cared.   
    
Josh nodded. Dad told me you were really drunk when he called back.   
    
Were out of Merlot.   
    
Out? But I just bought three new bottles.   
    
Chris nodded sheepishly. They were very good vintages. I enjoyed them.   
    
Josh sighed heavily. Im still really angry at you.   
    
You should be mad at me. I was stupid. I am stupid.   
    
Josh nodded, resting his head on Chris lap. Chris began to run his fingers through Joshs short hair.   
    
I slept so badly last night. Josh said softly. I hate sleeping without you.   
    
Will you come home tonight?   
    
Are we going to have confused teenagers showing up on our doorstep to threaten you and make our lives a living hell?   
    
Not tonight. I told Justin that he better not show up on our doorstep tonight or else I was going to fail him.   
    
Josh chuckled. Really?   
    
No. I didnt tell him I would fail him. I just told him that he needed to give us some time alone.   
    
Is that going to work?   
    
Chris shrugged, running his fingers through Joshs hair again. He loved to touch him.   
    
Well see.   
    
Josh lifted his head up to look at Chris. Did you make a decision?   
    
Chris shifted slightly. I decided not to drink a lot of wine when you arent there to take care of me.   
    
Josh sighed and sat back. So you didnt make a decision about the Justin situation?   
    
Chris shook his head. I made a decision not to make a decision effectively making a decision not to change anything right now. Ill be more considerate of how you feel obviously, but Im not leaving Justin out to dry.   
    
How do you talk in circles like that?   
    
Chris shrugged. Years of studying math has killed my ability to communicate beyond algebra, calculus, and geometry hence the circles.   
    
Im an engineer and I can still communicate. I guess that just means Im smarter then you.   
    
Chris smiled. Im also exposed to slang everyday. Yo what up, dog?   
    
Josh laughed. That was wrong. Dont ever say that to me again.   
    
Wat be wrong wit dat? It be perfect English.   
    
Who are you and what have you done with my Chris?   
    
Chris reached his hand out for Joshs. Forgive me?   
    
Josh shook his head. Not yet. But I will.   
    
Chris pulled him into a hug. Thats a start.   
    
So you better get your ass home and make me some dinner. I really need a new suit. This old thing of Tylers just doesnt cut it here.   
    
Chris chuckled. I thought that suit looked a little big on you. 

Josh stood up and opened his jacket. Look at the belt. I feel so, so...   
    
Straight. Chris said, laughing at the huge cowboy hat buckle.   
    
I guess thats as good a word as any. Josh said with a smile.   
    
Why didnt you stop by the house to get a clean one?   
    
Josh shrugged. I didnt want to run into you. I was still really pissed at you this morning.   
    
What changed your mind?   
    
Im still pissed at you. I just couldnt stay mad when I saw you standing in my doorway.   
    
Chris smiled. So my plan worked. 

Josh leaned forward and kissed him softly. I guess it did.   
    
 There was a soft knock on the door. Josh sighed and straightened up.   
    
Come in.   
    
Im sorry to bother you, JC. Hey, Chris.   
    
Hi, Tom.   
    
Whats up, Tom? Josh asked. 

Do you have the last readouts from yesterday that Dan did? We need to do a D&D on them and the ones from today.   
    
Josh began to rummage through the papers on the desk. You know, I think I left them in the other office. I was looking over them up there yesterday.   
    
Want me to go get them? Tom asked.   
    
Josh shook his head. Youll never find them. Ill go. Josh grabbed his lab coat. Wait here, Chris. We arent finished yet.   
    
Tom grinned and sat down in Joshs chair. Hes no fun when you two fight. Hes been an ogre all morning. We never work this much unless we have an impending deadline.   
    
Chris shrugged. Sorry. I dont like fighting with him. It just happens sometimes.   
    
At least its been a pretty exciting morning. Dan blew out a D&D that looks pretty promising.   
    
I have no idea what you are talking about, Tom. Whats a D&D?   
    
Tom grinned. Its a slang term we use for a rough readout. They arent full tests but they give us something to go by. A down and dirty comparison between variables.   
    
Ill never understand what the four of you do.   
    
Ah but theres five of us now. Tom grinned. 

Chris laughed. Oh yes. I forgot. Kimberly the cute intern youve been drooling over since she got here.   
    
Well you saw her. Shes hot, Chris.   
    
Chris just raised an eyebrow at Tom who began to laugh. I have got to stop asking my gay supervisor and his equally gay boyfriend about women. I need straight friends.   
    
Chris nodded. Yes you do. Ill give my opinion though. 

Tom shrugged. Go ahead.   
    
How old is she?   
    
Tom sighed. Nineteen.   
    
And you are 32. Theres my answer.   
    
Tom laughed. That was JCs answer too. Of course, I shouldnt listen to either of you.   
    
And why is that?   
    
How old was our little JC when you started dating him?   
    
Twenty-one.   
    
And you were, how old? Tom asked, trying to prove a point.   
    
Twenty-four. What are trying to prove?   
    
 Tom sighed. Not what I wanted to prove. You were his teacher still, right?   
    
I was his TA. And yours too. So dont give me that shit.   
    
Tom stood up and reached for the door knob. On a completely different subject, want to see what Megan and I did with the hand?   
    
That hand freaks me out. Chris said, reaching for the lab coat and glasses.   
    
Yeah, but its got skin on it now.   
    
Chris rolled his eyes, slipping the safety glasses on. Im sure that makes it all better.   
    
Josh came striding back into the lab, holding a pile of graphs. He tapped Kimberly on the shoulder gesturing for her to get the new readouts from Dan.   
    
Chris, Im going to have to get back to work now. Ill be home around 6.   
    
Chris nodded. Ive got tests to grade anyway.   
    
He backed away slowly, watching as Joshs technicians and fellow engineers gathered around him to look at the readouts. Josh was already back to work mode, ignoring everything else.   
    
Bye everyone. Chris said softly. The robotic hand waved goodbye as he passed by. Chris waved awkwardly at it again before leaving the lab.   
  
---  
  
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	21. Chapter Twenty

Dont tell me that this is easy for you, Joey. Christina said. Joey sighed and pushed his food around on his plate. 

Im not saying its easy to watch but what am I going to do. Hes my best friend. 

So what do we do now? Christina put her fork down and looked around Joeys kitchen. 

He shrugged unhappily. I dont know, Chrissy. Joey squeezed the bridge of his nose and stood up. I need to go smoke. 

Christina grabbed his arm. Wait. 

Joey sighed and sat back down. I love you, Joey. Christina said softly. He reached over and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as she straddled his waist. 

I love you too, Chrissy. 

She rested her head on his shoulder. Were going to have to pick sides. Christina whispered. 

I know, Joey sighed. I dont want to. 

Neither do I. What do we do? 

Run away. 

Christina kissed him softly. You know we cant. We have to stick together on this. 

We need to wait and see what happens, Chrissy. I dont think we can make a decision until we see how this plays out. 

Im sticking by Britney as long as she doesnt do anything totally stupid. 

Joey bit down on her shoulder gently. Ouch! She jumped and pushed him back. 

What was that for? 

I wanted to change the subject. 

To what? Sex? 

Joey shrugged. Its a better subject then this is. Want to talk about it? 

Christina sighed. What do you want to talk about? Youre getting it regularly. 

Can I get it now? 

Joey, Christina sighed as his hands slid up her shirt, his palms warm against her stomach. Stop. Im not in the mood. 

Neither am I. He said softly. I just didnt want to talk about it anymore. 

I have to study later on for Chemistry. We also have Spanish tomorrow. 

Joey nodded. I have my Trig exam too. 

Do you need any help? Christina asked gently running her fingers through his hair. 

Nope. I actually know this stuff. 

Good, Christina said, kissing him softly, running her tongue over his lips, feeling the smile that crossed Joeys lips.   
    
I think your parents might get pissed if you two have sex in the kitchen.   
    
Joey groaned. I knew I forgot to do something when we got home.   
    
What was that?   
    
Lock the front door.   
    
AJ grinned and opened up the fridge pulling out some salad. He sat down and began to eat.   
    
What are you doing here?   
    
I needed to talk to Chrissy. He poured some more dressing on the salad and took a large bite.   
    
Whats wrong, Alex?   
    
Britney rode with me today, he paused to chew. Shes hell-bent on getting sympathy where ever she can find it.   
    
Are you surprised, Alex?   
    
Not really but I think this is going to get messy. Are you guys picking sides? 

Yeah, Joey said. I pick my side. Justins my best friend ever. Hes practically my brother. Ive also known Brit all my life. I want to protect her. And Lance is my boy. Ill do anything for him. So Im picking my side.   
    
I pick your side then, Joey. AJ said, crunching on a carrot. That sounds good to me. 

Wheres everyone else stand?   
    
Howies with Justin. Thats all I know.   
    
Joey nodded, grabbing a cucumber from the salad. He and Britney have never really gotten along.   
    
There was a knock on the back door. The three of them looked up to see Drew waving at them. Joey motioned for him to come in. Drew automatically went to the fridge and grabbed a slice of cold pizza before sitting down.   
    
What the fuck is going on here?   
    
Justins gay. AJ said. Joey smacked him and Christina dropped her head on the table.   
    
Oh I already knew that. Whats going on between him and Lancey-poo, our other resident gay boy?   
    
How did you know? Christina asked at the same time AJ blurted out; Theyre dating.   
    
Theyre dating? Drew dropped the pizza on the table. Well fuck me. I thought Jessica was kidding.   
    
What?   
    
Jessica told Nick that she saw Justin and Lance come down from the bedrooms at the frat the other night. Nick told me and I elected to come find out.   
    
You came to eat my food, Drew.   
    
Drew picked the pizza back up. Thats just an added bonus. I seriously did want to find out what was up. And I knew he was gay a long time ago. Or at least I thought he was.   
    
How?   
    
Drew shrugged. Gaydar.   
    
Straight boys dont have gaydar. AJ snorted. 

Drew shot him a withering glance. Well I do.   
    
Do you want the long story or the short story? AJ asked. 

Just give me the short story for now.   
    
Justins gay. He kissed Lance. Chrissy and Joey saw him. Justin broke up with Britney. Tells her hes gay. All okay. She can deal with that. Justin and Lance started dating. Monday I slip and say they look cute together. Truth comes out. Brit flips. Now we wait.   
    
Drew wrinkled his forehead. Were keeping this buried, right?   
    
For now, Christina answered. I dont know how long itll stay buried though.   
    
What about Justins parents?   
    
Thats why we really want to keep this buried. Shes gonna flip out.   
    
Drew finished his pizza and proceeded to get a drink before saying anything else.   
    
Ill fill Nick, Justin, and Jeff in. Justin might have some issues, but Ill make sure he keeps them to himself. Im here for the ride. I know Nick and Jeff will be too.   
    
Joey nodded. Good. Cause this is gonna be a bumpy ride and hes gonna need all of us once this comes out. 

  
  

* * *

  

Justin chewed on the eraser on the end of his pencil nervously. Howie sighed and looked up at him.   
    
Please relax, Justin. Youre making me nervous.   
    
Sorry. Im paying attention, honest.   
    
Howie put his pencil down and looked at his friend. Justin had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was covered by a bandanna. He looked like shit pure and simple.   
    
Im gonna break the unspoken rule between us, Justin. Howie said softly. Are you okay?   
    
Justin sighed. Do you have to break that rule? I just need the silence with you.   
    
Well, Im sick of sitting here and wondering. You and I spend a hell of a lot of time together, especially lately because Im the safe friend. I want to know whats going on in your mind instead of having to guess or ask other people.   
    
Im angry, Howie. Im angry and scared, okay. I dont want to be in this situation, waiting until the other shoe falls, because we all know it will eventually. I just want to be happy.   
    
Well, what will make you happy?   
    
Justin sighed and played with his pencil again. Does Lance make you happy?   
    
A smile crossed his face. He always has. I cant wait to actually be able to hold his hand and tell people hes my boyfriend.   
    
Youre a sappy prick, Timberlake. Howie grinned, pushing him gently.   
    
Thanks. And youre a morose bastard.   
    
Ok. Weve done the heart to heart thing and I appreciate you humouring me. Lets go back to not talking about shit like that.   
    
Deal. Now teach me Spanish, my dear Irican.   
    
Howie pushed him again. I hate it when you call me that, oh great Aryan one. Justin chuckled when Howie reached up to pull his bandanna off. He ruffled Justins wiry curls. Though the corkscrew curls suggest that your blood is not all that pure as you would think it is.   
    
The phone rang loudly. Grab that, Howie. Youre closer. Justin said, fixing his bandanna.   
    
Yo. Howie said into the phone.   
    
Can I talk to Justin?   
    
Word. Howie handed the phone to him, grinning at his brilliant use of ebonics.   
    
Hello?   
    
Hi, Justin.   
    
Justin broke into a smile. Hey, Mr. Kirkpatrick.   
    
Whats Mr. Dorough doing answering your phone?   
    
Im a lazy bum and he was closer to the phone when it rang. Were studying for Spanish.   
    
Ah, buena suerte.   
    
Justin laughed. Gracias.   
    
I cant talk long because I have to go back to grading the exams. I just wanted to call and let you know that you got a 79. You got a C, Justin.   
    
Yes! Justin shouted happily. How did Lance do?   
    
I was actually going to call him in a minute to tell him. Is he there?   
    
Nope. Hes at his house. Hes babysitting his niece. Cant you tell me?   
    
Chris chuckled. Nope. Youll have to ask him yourself.   
    
Okay. Thatll give me a reason to go over there tonight.   
    
Like you needed a reason.   
    
Justin laughed again. True. Look, thanks for calling to tell me. I really appreciate it.   
    
You worked hard for this C, Justin. Im proud of you.   
    
Justin began to blush slightly. Thanks, Mr. K. That means a lot coming from you.   
    
Okay. Ill see you guys at some point tomorrow. Stop by and say hola to me at some point. Ill be bored.   
    
You got it. Thanks again.   
    
Justin hung up the phone, putting it back on the table. I got a C on my calc exam.   
    
Good job, Justin. Howie said. Did Mr. Kirkpatrick really call to tell you that?   
    
Justin nodded. Yeah. Hes gonna call Lance too. He wouldnt tell me his grade.   
    
So you really are friends with the guy?   
    
Mr. Kirkpatrick has been one of the biggest reason I was finally comfortable enough to say something about being gay. Watching him and Josh together made me realize that I really did want to be able to have that kind of love.   
    
Howie nodded. Well then, Im glad hes here for you. Now translate that paragraph for me, bitch.   
  
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	22. Chapter Twenty-One

    
Give me your hand. Lance said to him. Justin smiled and took his hand, twining their fingers together tightly. Happy Valentines Day.   
    
The past three weeks had been strange. Britney hadnt done anything, choosing to isolate herself from everyone. She talked to AJ occasionally, but only when she needed a ride to school. 

They hadnt relaxed yet though. Justin was still convinced that she was going to do or say something. This was just the calm before the storm. It had to be. 

You know something, Justin asked, resting his head on Lances shoulder. This is great. Just being with you. Britney always wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and get a big gift. 

You didnt get me a gift? Lance asked in shock. Forget dinner then. Ill let it burn. 

They both knew he was teasing. They had decided not to buy each other anything, just spend the evening in each others presence. 

Justin chuckled and kissed him softly. When are your parents coming home? 

Tomorrow. Lance kissed him again, pressing his lips against Justins. 

So we have the house to ourselves? Justin asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice. He pulled away to look at Lance. 

Lance nodded. Is that okay? 

Justin smiled. Of course. I just wasnt expecting it. 

Lance gently traced Justins jaw line with his fingertips. Im not expecting anything from you just because we have the house to ourselves. Im just happy youre here with me. 

But you wouldnt complain if something did happen, would you? Justins voice was so soft, Lance had to strain to hear his words. 

He kissed Justin again. Of course not, but no pressure. 

Justin smiled. No pressure. So whats for dinner? It smells great. 

Just a recipe Josh gave me. Youll like it. 

Getting recipes from the master again? If its half as good as the dinner you made for my birthday, Ill love it. 

I think that was a fluke. Ive never made anything that turned out so good. 

Lance sat forward and grabbed the remote. Should I put the movie on? 

Justin nodded. What did you rent? 

Sleepless in Seattle, Lance said hitting play. He saw the frown play across Justins features. Whats wrong? 

Brit and I watched it last Valentines Day. He said softly. Lance sighed and turned it off. No! Keep it on. I love that movie and I want to watch it with you. 

Are you sure? Lance asked. 

Im sure. 

Lance hit play and settled back into Justins arms again, both of them enjoying the feel of the other person pressed up against them.   
    
    


* * *

  

Lance? Justin asked softly. 

Yeah, Just? 

I know we decided not to get each other presents, but I did get you one. Lance put his fork down and smiled. 

You didnt have to. 

I wanted to. 

Justin stood up and walked back into the living room. A moment later, he returned holding a small box in his hand. 

Happy Valentines Day, Lance. Justin said, kissing him softly. 

Lance took the box and opened it. 

Oh Justin. Lance said softly, looking at the silver cross in awe. Its beautiful. 

Justin smiled and leaned over Lances shoulder, brushing up against him, to turn it over. It has your initials on it. 

Lance turned his head to kiss him. Thank you. 

Justin took the cross from the box. Ill put it on you. 

Justins hands were warm on Lances neck as he slipped the cool metal cross on him. 

A moment later, Justins lips were pressed against the back of his neck. Lance moaned softly as Justins lips traveled across his tender flesh. He turned his head to capture Justins lips with his own as Justins hands traveled down the front of his shirt, caressing his chest. 

Justin shifted around so he was straddling Lances lap, kneeling on the chair, kissing him roughly. 

Lances hands clutched at Justins back, sliding his hands under his shirt, feeling the warm skin under his hands. 

I want to go upstairs. Justin whispered in his ear, his voice deepening. Lances eyes flew open and locked on Justins. He nodded slowly, removing his hands from Justins body and letting him stand up. 

Justin took Lances hand and led him upstairs. Lance was in shock, following Justin up the steps. A few minutes later, Justin was shutting the bedroom door behind them. 

Justin. Lance said softly, touching his cheek. 

Shh. Justins finger pressed up against Lances lips before he leaned in and kissed him again. 

Justins hands played with the hem of Lances shirt, kissing him until he got up the guts to pull it over Lances head. Lance stood still as Justins hands slowly explored his chest. 

Youre beautiful. Justin whispered, running his hands down Lances back as he pulled him closer. 

Lances hands tangled into Justins curls, kissing him, and pushing him back against the door. Their bodies pressed together, hands moving quickly. 

The bed. Lance whispered, pulling on Justins hand gently. Justin followed, letting Lance guide him to the bed. 

Justin climbed awkwardly on the bed suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Lance sat down next to him, slowly unbuttoning Justins shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. 

Justin grabbed Lances wrists gently, stopping his hands. Lance looked up at him. Justin smiled and pushed him backwards gently, climbing on top of him. 

Justin stretched out on top of Lances body, feeling him underneath him as they kissed. Lances hands rested on Justins ass, grinding their hips together. 

Justin gasped slightly as Lances erection pressed into his own. A moment later his hands were fumbling with the buttons on Lances pants, trying to get them off. 

Lances hands covered Justins slowing him down. We have all night. 

Justin nodded. We have too many clothes on. His eyes met Lances, pleading with him. Can I please take them off you? 

Lance smiled and removed his hands, letting Justin unbutton his pants. Justin leaned over and began to kiss his stomach. Lance squirmed underneath him, trying to control his breathing so he didnt hyperventilate. 

Justin slowly unzipped Lances pants, pulling them down over his thighs. Justin ran his hands down Lances thighs as he pushed the pants away. His fingers danced over the skin, touching as much as he could. 

Justin. He whispered. Can I touch you? 

Justin sat up and looked at him. Yes. Of course. Lance sat up, only covered by his thin boxers. Justin could see his hard cock outlined in the fabric. 

Lance gently pushed him backwards, unzipping his pants and slipping them, along with his boxers, off. His fingers traced the muscles in Justins legs, running down the tanned flesh. 

Lance straddled Justins legs, running his hands over Justins chest and stomach. Lances hands paused momentarily before cupping Justins erection firmly. Justins hips thrust up slightly at the sudden contact, pressing himself harder into Lances hands. 

Oh God. Justin moaned softly. This felt entirely different then anything he had ever done with Britney. Already this was more intense and all Lance had done was touch him. 

Lances fingers gently stroked his cock, moving slowly up and down his length. Justin felt lips press up against his stomach, hot breath tickling his skin. Gentle kisses slowly moved down towards his cock. 

Justin thrust upwards when Lances mouth finally reached his cock. Lance gently pressed Justins hips back down on the bed, leaving his hands gently tracing circles on Justins stomach as he slowly moved up and down Justins shaft. 

Justins hands balled the blankets into fists as he gasped loudly. Lances mouth and tongue were moving all over his cock bringing him closer and closer to the edge. 

Lance. Justin said urgently as he began to approach the point of no return. Lance took one last bob on Justins cock before lifting his head up. 

Justin panted heavily, slowly feeling the intense pleasure fading slightly. Lance slowly ran his hand up Justins side, settling down next to him. 

I...I was gonna come. Justin said softly, looking over at him. Lance nodded. I know. Just not yet. 

Lance kissed him softly, resting his hand on Justins chest. Justins hand came up to cup the back of Lances head, holding him close. He could taste something new on Lances lips. It took him a moment to realize that it was him. 

Justin pulled back slightly and ran his fingertips over Lances lips. Lance smiled at him. 

I can taste myself. Justin said softly. 

You taste good. Havent you ever kissed someone after getting a blowjob? 

Justin shook his head. Britney didnt want to kiss me after she did that. Or after I went down on her. 

Lance grimaced slightly at that thought, but kissed Justins soft lips again. I always want to kiss you. 

Justins hands traveled down to grasp Lances cock in his hands. Lances eyelids fluttered at the contact. Justin slowly moved his hands over Lances cock, feeling the heat through his boxers. 

Justin gently rolled Lance onto his back, slipping his hands underneath Lances boxers, feeling his soft skin against his hands for the first time. He pulled them down, swallowing when he saw Lances cock for the first time. 

Justins hand hovered over Lances hips. A moment later, Lances hand guided Justins to his cock. Justin bit his lip as his hand touched Lances cock without fabric separating the two. 

It felt so solid and warm in his palm. It felt like his own but different. There was something about it that made it so Lance. He smiled and began to move his hand up and down Lances cock. 

Lance moaned and shifted under Justins hand, his eyes closed tightly. A moment later, he jumped when Justins lips encircled the head of his cock. 

Justin swirled his tongue around the head, feeling the velvety hardness that was Lance. He had never imagined that something so hard could feel so soft and smooth in his mouth. He wanted to feel as much of it as he could. 

Lances eyes were opened now, wide open, gazing down at Justin. His hands gently tangled in the golden curls as Justin continued to suck him. 

He saw Justins blue eyes look up at him when he touched his hair. Lance smiled at him. Justin lifted his head and smiled back. 

Am I doing it right? 

There really isnt a way to do it wrong. Lance said softly, gently touching Justins cheek. 

Do you like it? 

Lance nodded. I love it. Dont you like getting it done? 

Justin blushed deeply and nodded. Ive never done it before. I just want to make sure Im doing it right. 

Justin, anything you do, as long as it is you touching me, is going to feel good. I promise. 

Justin smiled and resumed the blowjob. He did everything he could think of to make Lance feel good. He knew what he liked and he tried to reproduce those movements. 

Oh Justin. Lance moaned loudly, his hands tightened around Justins curls. He bucked his hips up, trying his best to not force himself deeper into Justins mouth no matter how much he wanted to. That little thrust couldnt be helped. He didnt know what Justin had just done, but he had never felt anything like it. 

Justin copied that last swirl, making Lance buck and moan again. His hands slipped under Lances ass, gently cupping the firm cheeks in his hands. 

Lance began to breath heavily, feeling the familiar stirrings of an orgasm threatening to explode. He slipped his hand under Justins chin, trying to get him to stop. 

Justin ignored the firm hand on his chin, instead wanting to make Lance scream and come. He wanted to see his boyfriend shouting in ecstasy. 

Justin. Stop. He said loudly. Im gonna come. 

Justin did that swirl thing one more time and Lance couldnt hold on. He thrust into Justin mouth, shouting loudly, clutching the curls tightly as he came. 

Justin almost pulled back when he felt the first strings of come shooting into his mouth. He forced himself to stay still, swallowing valiantly, hoping to catch it all. The taste was different then anything he had ever tasted before. Salty, sweet, and tasting totally like Lance. 

Lance gasped and felt all the tension in his body disappear. Justin gently ran his hand over Lances cock, feeling the softening flesh for a moment before moving up to kiss him. Lance kissed him back, tasting himself on Justins lips. He smiled and tapped Justins nose gently. 

Youve never done that before? He asked teasingly. 

Justin shook his head. 

Then what the hell was that thing you did? It was amazing. 

Justin shrugged. I thought it would feel good. 

Well it did. It felt **really** good. 

You taste good. Justin said, resting his head on Lances shoulder, his still-hard cock pressed up against Lances thigh. 

Lance reached down and began to gently stroke Justin's hard cock. Justin moaned and bit his lip, his eyes closing tightly. Lance kissed him softly. 

"Open your eyes." He whispered. 

Justin's eyelids fluttered and a moment later his blue eyes were locked with Lance's green ones. Lance continued to stroke him, speeding up as Justin's breathing grew more and more ragged. 

"Oh god, Lance." Justin moaned softly, struggling to keep his eyes open. Lance captured his lips again, sensing that Justin was about to come. His tongue tangled with Justin's as he felt the first shot against his own leg. Justin managed to shout through the kiss and Lance watched his blue eyes roll back in his head. 

Lance pulled him close, kissing him again, this time softly. Justin's eyes managed to focus on Lance's face. "Wow." He said softly. 

Lance chuckled. "Is that all you can say?" 

Justin nodded. "Wow."   
  
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	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

Britney stared hard at herself in the mirror, steeling her resolve. Her brown hair was cascading past her shoulders in soft waves. Her eyes were sparkling with purpose and determination. She saw a smile cross her pale pink lips. She was going to do this. 

"Britney." She turned towards the familiar voice. 

"Hello, Christina." Britney said coolly, her face a complete blank. Christina walked towards her, pulling her blonde hair back. She was smiling warmly at her best friend. 

"How are you, sweetie?" 

"Leaving." Britney said, grabbing her purse. 

Christina caught her arm as she tried to walk out. "I am on your side. Would you please talk to me?" 

Britney shrugged her hand off. "It's too late. I'm doing what I have to do."   
    
"What are you talking about?" 

Britney smiled at her. "You'll find out soon enough."   
    
"Don't do anything stupid, Britney. Please." 

Britney shut the door behind her, leaving Christina standing alone in the bathroom. 

"Fuck." She said softly, leaning against the mirror. 

  
    


* * *

    
Britney picked at her salad watching Justin and Lance wait in line for lunch. She grimaced and popped a piece of lettuce in her mouth. She was eating lunch with a few cheerleaders and a bunch of the football players. 

"Are you okay, Britney?" Keri asked, putting her hand on Britney's arm. Her gaze followed Britney's seeing Justin. 

"What did happen this time? You two are usually back together by now." 

Britney looked back over at Keri, noticing that the attention at the table was on her. It was her time to shine. She had to play this well. 

"He's dating someone else." Britney said bitterly. 

"No way," Keri said excitedly, her eyes lighting up at the thought of gossip. "Who?" 

"Lance." 

Silence met her words. "Lance?" Jeremy asked in shock. "Timberlake is a fag?" 

Britney nodded, managing to keep a hurt look on her face. "He cheated on me with Lance for a long time. Look at them." She gestured to where Justin and Lance were still in line. Justin's hand was on the small of Lance's back, just barely touching him. Lance was smiling up at him happily. 

"Shit." Jeremy said loudly. "He **is** a fag." The table next to them heard, suddenly becoming very interested in their conversation. Britney smiled to herself, keeping the upset look on her face. She buried the twinges of guilt at hurting her friends and congratulated herself instead. By the end of lunch, Justin would be successfully outted.   
    


  

* * *

 

Christina bit her nails, watching Britney nervously. She watched as the eyes of the table turned towards Lance and Justin. Her heart fell. 

Joey planted a kiss on her cheek as he sat down. He put a salad in front of her and took a big bite of his cheeseburger. She didn't even acknowledge him. 

"Chris? Is everything okay?" 

"I think she's gonna tell." Christina said softly.   
    
Joey sucked in a deep breath. "How do you know?" 

"I ran into her in the bathroom. She said something about it being too late and doing what she had to do." 

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Joey exclaimed loudly. They watched as heads began to turn in Lance and Justin's direction. Christina gripped his hand tightly as the word spread. 

"Want to come over after basketball practice?" Justin asked Lance, picking up a piece of pizza as they moved through the line. 

Lance grinned, grabbing a plate of fries. "Like I'm gonna say no." 

"Cool. I'll call you when I get home." 

They paid and walked out into a silent cafeteria. Justin stopped when he saw the whole room staring at him. His skin began to crawl as people began to whisper to each other. 

"Lance." Justin whispered urgently. 

"Keep walking." Lance held his head high, weaving his way towards their table. Justin followed him, almost shaking in fear when he heard the words being whispered around him. 'Fag' 'Queer' 

Lance sat down, putting his tray in front of him. Justin did the same. 

"She told," said Christina softly. 

"We noticed." 

"Eat your lunch, Justin." Joey said, chewing on a French fry. "Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they're upsetting you." 

Justin obediently lifted the pizza to his mouth. 

"We saw a really good movie last night." Christina said. "Joey and I did dinner and a movie for Valentine's Day." 

Justin swallowed, trying not blush as he thought about last night. "What did you see?" 

"Magnolia. The guy who did Boogie Nights did it." Joey said. "It was a brilliant film. You two have to see it." 

"Is it about porn again?" Lance asked. 

"No, you don't see any naked women, Lance. Just Tom Cruise in his underwear." 

Lance grinned. "I can deal with that." 

Justin nodded. "Me too." His voice was soft, trying not to call attention to himself even though the eyes of the room were still on him. 

AJ sat down, leaning in to talk to them. "I would get out of the lunchroom now." 

Joey looked around. The football players had gathered together with some of the wrestlers. He nodded picking up his tray. 

"Good idea. Let's move." 

Nick and Jeff appeared out of no where. Justin's throat was dry as he found himself surrounded by his friends as they walked him out of the lunchroom. He couldn't believe this was happening. 

"Holy shit." Nick said running his hand through his blond hair. "Neither of you go anywhere without someone else with you." 

"That's a good idea, Nick." Christina said. 

Lance slipped his hand into Justin's squeezing it gently. "It's ok now." He said softly. 

Justin nodded. "I guess it is."   
    
  

* * *

  
Justin took out his English book and notebook. He shut his locker and looked at Nick standing next to him. Nick was twisting a strand of his blond hair and watching people walk by. Nick was walking him around for now. Lance was with AJ for their chorus class. 

"Ready to go?" Nick asked, glaring at people walking by, looking at Justin and whispering. 

"I guess." 

Nick squeezed his shoulder. "This will pass, Justin. These jerks will grow up eventually." 

"I hope so." They walked down the hall, Nick keeping up mindless chatter about the basketball season. Justin did his best to ignore the names and insults people whispered as they walked by. 

The crowd in the hallway began to move faster. Nick narrowed his eyes and grabbed a scared kid by the shirt. "What's happening?" 

"There's a fight." Nick let go of the kid, grabbing Justin's arm and running down the hall. There wasn't any need to ask who was getting beaten up. 

They reached his locker in time to see AJ being held back by two big guys while Lance was getting worked over by another guy. Nick grabbed the guy hitting Lance before he could slam his head into the locker again. Nick swung him around and slammed him against the locker, suddenly gaining superhuman strength. 

"Don't you ever fucking touch him again! Understand!" 

Nick turned his head to look at the guys holding AJ back as AJ twisted in their grasp. "And let him go too!" 

Justin knelt down and gathered Lance in his arms where he had fallen on the ground. Lance's hands clutched at Justin's back burying his face in Justin's chest. 

Joey pushed his way through the crowd, tossing people out of the way. He knelt down next to Justin and Lance. "Are you guys okay?" 

Justin shook his head as Joey helped them both stand up. He glared at everyone. 

AJ walked over to them. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop them." Joey nodded. "It's ok, AJ. You did your best." 

"We're leaving." Justin said firmly. 

Joey took Lance's books and put them in his locker, tossing Justin's in as well. "Good idea. Everyone get the hell out of my way." Joey growled. Nick pushed people aside with AJ bringing up the rear. 

The crowd dispersed, leaving the five of them alone in the hall. Joey gently pried Lance's face from Justin's chest. "Shit." He wiped the blood that was dripping from Lance's split lip. "They got you good." 

Nick looked away from Lance's face. "I'm gonna kill them." 

"Look, you guys go back to class." Justin said. "Lance and I are going to get out of here." 

Joey shook his head. "I'm not leaving until you two are in a car." Nick nodded. "Same here." 

"I'm not going anywhere." AJ said. 

"What are you doing out of class?" 

AJ looked up. "Eep! I'm out of here." He turned and ran. 

Nick sighed but slowly began to back down the hall as well. "I was, just...going to the bathroom." Nick disappeared into the nearest bathroom. A moment later, he ran back out and into the men's room. 

"We're leaving, Mr. Greene." Justin said firmly. 

"What happened to Mr. Bass?" 

Joey crossed his arms. "He was beaten up in a fight no one bothered to break up. So they are leaving." 

"Mr. Fatone, get back into class before I suspend you again. And may I remind you of the three strikes rule." 

Joey looked at his best friends and back at the principal. Justin nodded to him. Joey let out a sigh and stomped down the hall. He stopped in the bathroom and dragged Nick out, pulling him down the hall, cursing the whole way. 

"Now where are you two going?" 

Lance slipped his hand into Justin's hiding slightly behind him. Justin swallowed nervously, but stood his ground. "We are going home. Both of us are 18, we are allowed to leave." 

"Besides, I excused them for the rest of the day." 

Mr. Greene's gaze lifted from Lance and Justin to Mr. Kirkpatrick standing behind them. "May I ask why?" 

Mr. Kirkpatrick walked forward, brushing past them without looking, to stand face to face with Mr. Greene. "No you may not." 

Anger crossed Mr. Greene's face as he looked down at Chris, towering over him by a good 4 inches. "See me in my office at 2:30, Mr. Kirkpatrick." 

With that, Mr. Greene turned and walked away, his long strides eating up the ground. Chris sighed and turned to look at them. His forehead was wrinkled and he was wearing his glasses for once.   
    
"I'm sorry." Justin whispered 

Chris shook his head and squeezed Justin's shoulder. "No. I'm sorry. For the both of you." 

"But Mr. Greene...." Lance trailed off, his grip on Justin's hand tightening. 

"Screw him. I can deal with a little shouting. Besides, shouting at me makes him feel like a big man, so I let him." 

Chris reached into his pocket, pulling out his keys. A moment later, he pressed a key into Justin's hand. Now get out of here. I'll call Josh and tell him what's going on and ask him to take a half day to be with the two of you." 

Justin looked down at the key. "Is this...?" 

"The house key. I figured you guys needed somewhere neutral to go now." 

"Thank you." Lance whispered. 

Chris nodded again. "Now get out of here before the three of us get into more trouble."   
  
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	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

Excuse me, Christopher, you did what? Josh hissed into the phone, trying not to draw attention to himself in the lab. Tom looked up from the computer for a moment then got up to leave him alone. 

They are at our house. I couldnt think of anything else to do. Things were getting really bad, Josh. 

Josh ran his hand through his hair. I thought we talked about this, Christopher. I didnt want you to get involved in this anymore. 

"What did you expect me to do, Josh? Greene was on their asses. Lance got beaten up. Justin was ready to fucking cry because of what that little bitch did." 

Josh sat down. "Is Lance okay?" 

"I don't know. He had a split lip and his eye is probably going to be black, but I really don't know. I wasn't there for the fight." 

Josh's hand absentmindedly touched the scar on his forehead. "I'll go home, okay. You owe me big time though." 

Chris sighed and sat back. "Thank you so much, sweetie. I'll be home right after I get done being screamed at by Greene." 

Josh nodded at nothing, seeing Tom's eyes peeking out from between the machines. 

"Get home fast. I don't know how well I'm going to be able to deal with this." Josh hung up the phone and sighed loudly. 

"Everything ok, Josh?" 

Josh looked up at Tom. "Nope. I've gotta go. If anything else goes wrong, call me at home." 

"Will do, JC. Call me if you need anything." 

Josh nodded, grabbing his coat and briefcase before leaving the lab. He slammed the door behind him angrily. He was not happy about this.   
    
  

* * *

  
Justin's hands shook as he gently dabbed Lance's lip with a washcloth. Lance hissed slightly as the warm water and rough fabric brushed against the split flesh. Justin leaned in and kissed his cheek gently, tasting the salty tears. 

He wet the washcloth again, wringing it out in the sink. Lance was sitting on the sink in the upstairs bathroom, still crying a little. His left eye was swelling shut already. 

"Hello? Justin? Lance?" 

Justin opened the bathroom door. "Josh?" 

He heard footsteps on the stairs, moving quickly. A moment later, Josh appeared at the top of the stairs, looking harried and upset. 

"Is Lance okay?" He asked, stepping into the bathroom with them. 

Lance looked up at Josh, tears in his eyes. Josh sighed and gathered the younger man in his arms, hugging him gently. Josh turned his head to look at Justin. "Are you okay?" 

Justin shrugged, sliding down the wall to sit on the ground. "They didn't touch me." 

Josh let go of Lance and knelt down in front of Justin. 

"Sometimes the words are worse." Justin buried his face in his knees, trying not to cry again. Josh squeezed his shoulder and stood up. "We have a first aid kit in the bedroom. Let's move in there. I want to put something on Lance's lip." 

Josh helped Justin stand up and put his arm around Lance's waist, helping him off the sink. "Did they get you in the ribs?" 

Lance shrugged. "I'm really sore. It hurts to breath." 

Josh's hand drifted to his own scar again his eyes glazing over slightly before he managed to snap himself out of it. "Well I'll take a look at them in the bedroom. I think we may need to go to the hospital, Lance." 

Lance shook his head. "Please. I don't want to go." 

Justin grabbed Josh's arm. "We can't take him to the hospital. No one can find out about this." 

Josh shrugged Justin's hand off of him. "I said may need to. And I'm going to try to prevent that."   
Justin's arm encircled Lance's waist, following Josh down the hall. He paused before following him in the room. This was Chris and Josh's bedroom. 

Josh turned to look at them. "Come on in. I know this is weird, but this whole situation is a little weird." 

Justin walked in, looking around as he sat Lance down on the perfectly made bed. There were clothes on the floor near the closet but he could see inside suits hanging up perfectly in order of color. Josh opened up a drawer and pulled out a first aid kit. 

"What exactly happened?" Josh asked kneeling down in front of Lance. "Chris didn't tell me much over the phone."   
    
Justin slipped his arms around Lance's waist, resting his head on his shoulder while Josh dabbed antibiotic cream on the split lip. "I don't really know what happened." Justin said softly. 

"Well, let's start off with why I was called home from work to take care of you two. How did that happen?" 

Justin kissed Lance's neck softly. "That was Chris' idea. He told us to go someplace safe for now. You didn't have to come home to take care of us." 

Josh ruffled Justin's hair as he stood up. "It's okay, I guess. I was worried when he called anyway. Especially when he told me Lance had been hurt." 

Josh walked over to the closet and pulled a T-shirt out. He tossed it to Lance, who caught it easily. "Take off your shirt and let me look at your chest." Justin unwrapped his arms and helped Lance take off his shirt. 

Josh shut his eyes for a moment, squeezing the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to be doing this. Already he saw purplish bruises forming on Lance's chest and stomach. 

Justin bit his lip and felt tears slip down his face. Lance had been beaten up because of him. He had been out since 9th grade and had never been beaten up before. Now they find out he was dating Justin and became the target. 

Lance brought his hand up to Justin's face. "Don't cry." He whispered. 

Does it hurt when you breath, Lance?" Josh asked, looking at Lance's face instead of his body. 

Lance looked back at him. "Not much anymore. Honest." 

Josh nodded. "Ok. Put the clean shirt on. I'll make us some sandwiches and the three of us will have a talk." 

Josh left the room, shutting the bedroom door behind him. He pressed himself against the wall, taking his glasses off to wipe his eyes. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. 

But he had to. 

Lance immediately wrapped his arms around Justin's neck, holding onto him tightly. They didn't say anything for a long time. 

Finally, Lance sniffled and let him go. 

"What am I going to tell my mom?" 

Justin flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "This is all my fault." 

Lance turned around and rested his head on Justin's chest, holding onto him tightly. He listened to Justin's heart beat under his ear. "I'm not mad at you. What happened isn't your fault, Justin." 

Justin sighed. "Yes it is. No matter what anyone says, they hurt you because of me." 

"Let's go downstairs." Lance said, sitting up stiffly. "I feel weird lying on Chris and Josh's bed." 

Justin nodded and sat up. Lance looked at the T-shirt in his hand. "So who's do you think this is? 

Justin slipped it over Lance's head and looked at the design on the front. It was a picture of a hot air balloon and the words 'Balloon's Away!' written on it. Justin kissed his nose. "I would say Chris', but you never know."   
    


* * *

Josh put a plate in front of all three of them, sitting down across from Justin and Lance. He took a piece of sandwich, chewing on it slowly. Lance's head was resting on Justins shoulder, his eyes closed. 

"Do you want me to start?" Josh asked, taking a drink of milk. 

"What are you gonna tell us?" 

"I'm going to tell you what happened to me in high school." His voice was quiet now, almost shaking. 

"I thought you always knew you were gay?" Lance's eyes still didn't open when he talked. 

"I did know, Lance. That doesn't mean I had an easy time in school." 

Josh pushed the plate of sandwiches towards them. "Eat please. This isn't going to be easy for me. And I can't say this in front of Chris again so we have to do this now." 

Justin picked up a sandwich, biting into it while watching Josh's hands cross and uncross, fidgeting before starting. Lance's head was again on his shoulder, their hands intertwined as they waited. 

"I did always know that I was different. When I was 12, I could put a name to it. Gay. So I ran to my mom and told her what I'd found out. I still don't know if she believed me then, but she told me she loved me. And she sat down with my dad and told him. Dad came up to my room and we talked for hours. When we finished that night, he was convinced that I knew I was gay. And he had convinced me that I shouldn't tell anyone about this even though there was nothing wrong with it. So I listened to him. He was my Dad. He knew all." 

Josh stood up suddenly, stopping his monologue. "I need a drink." 

"Do you have any idea what happened to him?" Justin asked Lance, running his fingers gently over Lance's jaw. 

"He never mentioned high school beyond the fact he went to private school." 

Josh walked back in, holding a beer in his hand. "It's too early for a real drink." That was his explanation for actually drinking beer. He sat down and tossed a photograph at them. Justin reached for it, picking it up carefully. The picture was of three guys and a girl. One looked like Josh just in a kid's body. 

"Doug, Tony, and Tricia. We were best friends from the time we were all five." Josh's eyes moved to focus on the mat, unable to look at Justin and Lance. "That's the only picture I have of them. I burned the rest. Chris saved that one without me knowing it." 

Justin put the picture down, reaching for Lance's hand again. 

"When I was 14, I trusted Tricia with the secret I promised my Dad I would never tell. I told her I was gay and she flipped out. The next day, Doug and Tony led a gang of, I think, 8 other kids. I was at my locker when they got me. I remember seeing Tony's face a moment before my own face was slammed into the locker. The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed." 

Josh took a long drink and pushed up his hair. He pointed at a scar on his forehead. 

"That's the only visible one since I have clothes on. I have a few others. They split my head open, broke three ribs, kicked me enough to cause internal bleeding, and somehow tore a ligament in my knee. I never went back to that school again. I was released from the hospital and immediately put in private school." 

"Private school wasn't much better. I didn't get touched and no one said anything mean to me. For the most part, no one said anything to me, period." 

Josh wiped his eyes and laughed softly. "Chris used to be jealous that I knew I was gay early on. Then he heard the story and decided he preferred struggling with his sexuality until Dani told him he was gay in college. It wasn't easy but he didn't spend four years being ostracized." 

"Josh," Lance said softly. "I'm sorry." 

Josh shook his head. "Don't be. It may have hurt. It may have been hard, but it's all a part of me. Without it, I doubt I would be as driven to succeed as I am. I doubt I would be as driven to be happy as I am." 

"Did you ever forgive them?" Justin had finally found his voice again, his mind trying to get a grip on what Josh had said and what had happened today. 

"I have forgiven them for being children. I will never forgive them for the hate. I'm still amazed at the hate and fear that pushed them to do that." 

Josh took another long drink of his beer. That was more then Ive told anyone in years; even more then Ive told Chris. 

Why? 

You needed to know. 

Joshs voice was still quiet and shaky. Now its your turn to talk. Anyone else want a beer? 

Justin looked at Lance and nodded. Id like one. 

Me too.   
    
Josh disappeared again, leaving the two of them alone. Lances arms clutched at Justin desperately, his face buried in Justins shoulder. Justin just held him, listening to the sound of Lance crying softly.   
    
  
---  
  
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	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

Nick grabbed Britneys arm as she walked past him. She swung around to look at him, her eyes flashing. 

Let me go, Nick.   
    
We need to talk. Im driving you home today. 

She pulled her arm away. Fuck off, Carter. 

Nick shook his head slowly. I dont know what happened to you, Britney. I cant believe you would do something like this to your best friends. He turned to walk away. Just so you know, Lance got the shit kicked out of him because you told everyone hes dating Justin.   
    
Britney bit her lip. I know. 

Nick studied her face for a moment. Ill pretend I see some remorse in your eyes. To make myself feel better.   
    
Britney leaned against a locker and sighed heavily. She did feel bad about Lance getting hurt. She didnt mean for that to happen.   
    
Britney looked up when she heard a door slam. Mr. Kirkpatrick was fumbling with his bag and his keys. He locked his classroom and turned around. They stared at each other for a moment before he broke the gaze and walked away.   
    


* * *

Sit down, Mr. Kirkpatrick. 

Chris sat down gingerly, not looking forward to being yelled at and still really worried about Justin and Lance. Josh had called him once to tell him that Lance was going to be okay and the three of them were going to have a talk. 

Bob Greene took a few more minutes, straightening up some papers and letting Chris sit there. Chris fidgeted, drumming his fingertips on the arms of the chair. 

Finally, Bob looked up and put the papers aside. He folded his hands and tilted his head, looking at Chris. 

Things have been so much better lately, Chris. I thought we had reached an agreement about your behavior. 

Chris sighed. I wasnt aware that my behavior had changed recently, Bob. 

It has, Chris. And I think we need to have a talk about it again. 

Is there anyway we can do this another time? I really need to get home. 

Bob shook his head. I need to discuss todays incident. 

Chris slumped back and waited for it to begin. Mr. Fatone said that there was a fight this afternoon and that was the reason that Mr. Bass and Mr. Timberlake were leaving school. Would you care to comment on that? 

I was not present at the time of the fight, but I can comment on the fact that Mr. Bass was beaten up today. I doubt he split his own lip or gave himself a black eye. 

Are you aware of any reason for the fight? I am aware of the fact that Mr. Bass is also homosexual. Was this a incident involving that factor? 

Chris sat forward. Theres a lot more going on here then just Lance getting beaten up. I don't really think that anything outside of the fight matters to the school." 

If its an issue that will effect Mr. Bass safety while he is on school property, I suggest you tell me. 

Chris chewed on the inside of his lips nervously, debating whether or not to tell Bob. He had a point. This would effect Lances safety while at school and possibly Justins as well. But was it really his place to get the administration involved? 

Bob, if I tell you this, it can't leave this room. 

Okay, Chris. You have my word. Bob said his voice for once entirely sincere. 

Its no secret that Lance is gay. Hes never had a problem before today. The reason he has the problem now is the rest of the school found out who hes been dating and they dont like that. 

Who is he dating? 

Justin Timberlake. 

Bob sat back. Oh. I can see how that would create a problem. A vague rumour did reach my ears earlier today, but I didnt take much stock in it. 

Chris nodded. I didnt send them home. That was their choice, but I wasnt going to let you stop them. Whatever happened today, it was obviously more then they could handle. 

Have you heard anymore details? 

Chris nodded. "I talked with Christina Aguleria after class today. She informed me of what occurred and she told me that they had a plan to protect Justin and Lance." 

"And that plan is?" 

"To always have someone else with them. Apparently that backfired. AJ McLean was with Lance when he was beaten up today. They aren't going to be able to protect them all the time. I'm pretty damn worried about what's going to happen when they come back tomorrow." 

Bob stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I don't suppose suspending them for the rest of the week would help, give the rest of the school the chance to digest this information?" 

"Bad idea. Justin will have a problem explaining a suspension to his mother. That's another issue in this. He's not able to come out to his family." 

Bob winced visibly. "I am well aware of Lynne Harless and her attitudes about certain issues. She and I had one hell of a battle when Justin was in 9th grade about him taking sex ed." 

Bob looked back at him. "I'm also well aware of how she feels about you being Justin's teacher since you are gay. Are you sure it's smart for you to get involved in this?"   
    
Chris shrugged. "It's too late now. I've been involved for a long time. The question at hand is what to do to protect Lance and Justin." 

Bob sat forward and looked at him seriously. "Okay, what do we do then, Chris? This is not my area of expertise. I know how to run my school and I know how to protect my students for the most part. I haven't had to deal with this particular issue before." 

Chris nodded, sitting forward. "Then let's talk for real."   
    


* * *

"How's your lip feel?" Josh asked, handing Lance a beer. 

"It's sore." 

Justin took a drink of the beer and sighed as the cool liquid flowed down his throat. 

Josh sat down and waited for one of them to talk. "I'll start." Justin said softly. Lance rested his head on Justin's shoulder, waiting for Justin to talk. 

"I guess what happened was that Britney decided to ruin my life. And Lance's too at the same time." 

Josh sighed. "There's got to be more. How did she ruin your life?" 

She told the group of people she was sitting with that I was gay, Justin said softly. At least thats what I assume. None of us got an explanation from her. 

Josh sipped his beer and watched Justins fingers play with the back of Lances hair, keeping a little contact between the two of them. 

How did they find out about Lance? 

I guess she told them that too. Like I said, no explanation. Justin took a long drink of his beer. Lance was just playing with his beer. 

How are your ribs feeling, Lance? Josh asked him. 

Lance looked up, finally, shrugging a little. They dont feel good, but they feel better then they did. 

If they get worse, please tell me. I still think it would be a good idea to the hospital. 

Lance shook his head. Ill be fine. 

What are your parents going to say, Lance? Justin pulled one of Lances hands away from the beer bottle, tangling their fingers together. 

I dont know. What time is it? 

Josh looked at his watch. 3:15. Hopefully, Chris will be home soon. 

They arent home yet, Lance said softly. They arent supposed to be home until 5. 

Are they at work? 

Justin shook his head. His parents always go away for Valentines Day. They arent supposed to be back until later. 

Yesterday seems so long ago. Josh said softly, turning his beer bottle in his hands. I had a really shitty day at work. I was actually happy to leave. He looked up guiltily. That came out wrong. 

Justin nodded. We know what you mean. Its ok. 

Josh nodded as well, brooding for a moment, wiping at the condensation rings the beer had left on the table. 

Did you guys have a good Valentines Day? 

Justin blushed and averted his eyes from Joshs gaze. It was very good. Justin mumbled. 

Josh smiled. Thats good. Chris and I had a good Valentines Day too. How did the dinner turn out? 

Lance looked up this time. Good. I used a little more garlic then the recipe called for. It turned out well with the extra garlic. 

Josh wrinkled his forehead a little. I always like the garlic as a subtle background taste. More didnt make it overwhelming? 

Not at all. 

Josh shrugged. Youll have to show me what you did. Ill give it a shot. 

They lapsed into silence again, Lance finally moved to drink his beer. 

Do...do you want me to call anyone? Josh asked a little hesitantly. Like Joey to let him know where you guys are? 

Justin and Lance looked at each other. Hes got basketball practice. Can you call Christina? Shell be home. AJ brings her home when weve got practice. 

Josh nodded. No problem. You two go into the living room and relax. The couch is pretty comfortable. 

Josh stood up and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the phone. He was about to dial when he realized he had no clue what her phone number was. 

Whats Christinas phone number? 

555-7623. Justin replied as he led Lance into the living room. 

Josh dialed the phone number, listening to the phone ring. 

Hewoo? 

Hi. Is Christina home? Josh pulled the phone away from his ear when the boy screamed Christinas name into the receiver. He heard a click. 

I got it, Benny. Hang up the phone now. Josh heard another click. 

Hello? 

Christina? 

Who is this? She asked, slightly suspiciously. He could hear a baby cooing in the background. He was going to have to ask Justin and Lance how many siblings she had later. 

Its Josh Chasez. We met a few weeks ago. 

Oh yeah. Hi. Let go of that, Maggie. 

Excuse me? 

Sorry. She grabbed her dirty diaper again. So whats up? Youre probably one of the last people I expected to get a call from. 

Im actually calling for Justin and Lance. I wanted to let you know where they are. 

Theyre at your house, right? Thats what Mr. Kirkpatrick told me when I talked to him. Are they okay? 

They are here. Lance is pretty rough, but hell be okay. Do you know anymore about what happened? 

One sec, Mr. Chasez. He heard the phone being put down. Terri, can you finish changing Maggie for me? I really need to take this call privately. 

He heard the phone being picked up again. Sorry about that. Itll be easier to pay attention if Im not taking care of Maggie at the same time. 

No problem. Do me a favor though, Christina. Call me Josh, please. 

She laughed. Sure, Josh. Lets talk. 

Justin gently held Lance in his arms, both of them stretched out on the couch. He ran his fingers through Lances spiky hair, softening the spikes. 

Im so sorry. Justin whispered. Lance slipped his hand under Justins shirt, resting his hand on Justins side. 

Its not your fault. Lances eyes were closed as he yawned. Im tired. 

Sleep then. Justin continued to stroke Lances hair, singing softly to him. 

The front door opened and Chris walked in, putting his bag on the ground. Josh stuck his head out of the kitchen, still on the phone. He gestured for Chris to join him. 

Josh kissed him softly on the cheek, putting his hand over the receiver. Im talking to Christina. Theyre in the living room. 

Chris nodded. Tell her I said hi. Im gonna go see how they are. 

Josh nodded, laughing at something Christina had said. He had meant to hang up after he had gotten the story from her, but he couldnt make himself do it. They were having a great conversation. 

Chris walked into the living room, hearing a soft voice singing. Lance was resting on Justins chest, asleep as far as he could tell. Justin was singing softly to him, stroking his hair gently. Tears were streaming down his face. 

Chris grabbed a few tissues, handing them to Justin. He rested his hand on Justins cheek, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. Chris gave him a warm smile and left the two of them alone. 

Josh was sitting at the counter, still on the phone. He was chopping some vegetables at the same time. Chris put his arms around Joshs waist, resting his chin on Joshs shoulder. 

Hey, Chrissy. I gotta go. Ill call you later about this weekend. 

Josh hung up the phone and turned in Chris arms, kissing him softly. 

Are you going out with one of my students this weekend? Chris asked with a bemused expression on his face. Josh blushed and shrugged. 

Maybe. Shes a pretty great girl. I think were going to go shopping. 

Chris tapped his nose gently. As long as you are coming home to me, thats fine. 

How are they? I meant to join them after I called Chrissy, but we got a little carried away talking. 

Lance is asleep. Justins singing and crying. I think its best if we leave them alone for a little bit. 

Josh nodded, resting his head on Chris shoulder. I think we need to talk anyway.   
  
---  
  
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	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

Lance opened the front door, slipping inside as quietly as he could. His parents car was in the driveway so he knew they were home. All he wanted to do was get upstairs and go to sleep before his parents noticed he was home. 

James, is that you? Dianes voice carried through the house when she heard the front door shut. 

Lance sighed. Yeah Mom. Sorry Im home so late. 

Come into the kitchen, sweetie. I missed you. 

Lance bit his cheek since he couldn't bite his lip at the moment. With a heavy sigh, he walked into the kitchen, looking down at his feet. "Mom, I need to talk to...." 

"Oh God! James!" 

Diane's hands were immediately on his face, touching it gently, looking at his injuries. "What happened?" 

Lance sighed again. "I got beat up. I'm okay though. Honest." 

Diane hugged him tightly, causing pain to shoot through his body. 

"Mom. Ribs. Hurt." He gasped out. 

Diane let him go and looked at him closely. "Ribs? Lift your shirt." 

Lance closed his eyes, lifting the T-shirt he wore that belonged to Chris. 

Diane gasped and pulled the shirt down. "We are going to the hospital now." Diane grasped his hand, pulling him out of the kitchen. 

"Mom. I'm okay. Josh took care of me," Lance pleaded, knowing that it wasn't going to work. 

"Jim! Come down here now!" 

Lance's father walked downstairs, yawning. "What is it, Diane?" Jim's eyes opened wide as he looked at his son, blinking slowly. "James? Who did this to you?" He jumped right to the conclusion that Lance had been beaten up. 

"It doesn't matter," Lance begged. "Please. I just want to go to sleep." He had slept for almost four hours on the couch at Chris and Josh's but he just wanted to sleep more. If he was sleeping, he didn't have to think about this. 

"I think you need to go to the hospital." Diane said softly. 

"No. I don't want to. Look, I'm not going to school tomorrow either. I just want to sleep for a long, long time. Please let me." Lance pleaded with his mother, still holding her hand tightly. 

"I'm going to call Mr. Greene to find out what happened," Jim said. "I don't want you hurt at school." 

"He doesn't know. It didn't happen at school. Look, call Mr. Kirkpatrick. He'll tell you what happened. Can I please go to bed now?" 

Diane sighed, looking at Jim sadly. "Okay, sweetie. Dad will call your teacher and get this figured out." 

Jim sighed, running his hand through his hair. "His number is on the board, right?" 

Lance nodded. "Thank you." 

Diane went upstairs with him, sitting down on his bed. Lance slipped off his pants and climbed into bed. 

"Was...was this because you are gay, James?" Diane asked him, tucking him in tightly. 

"Yes, but it was mainly because I'm dating Justin. At least thats what he says." 

Diane leaned over, kissing his forehead softly. "I'm so sorry, sweetie." 

Lance sighed. "So am I."   
    
  

* * *

  

Jim sighed, hanging up the phone. He opened the fridge, taking out a piece of cheese and eating it slowly, dropping back into a chair. 

What did you find out? Diane asked sitting down next to her husband at the kitchen table. She reached over and tore off a small piece of the cheese he was eating. 

Britney apparently told people about him and Justin. A few people didnt take it well that hes dating Justin. They blamed him for Justin being gay, so they beat him up. Mr. Kirkpatrick told me that he had them leave and go to his home. Josh, his partner, took care of James but that James refused to go to the hospital. 

Diane nodded. I didnt get much out of him. Just that it was because of his relationship with Justin but I dont think he believes that. 

Jim put his arm around Diane, holding her close. Im worried about both of them. Would it be bad to call Justin to see how he is? 

Diane looked him, nodding sadly. I dont want Justin to even talk about it while hes there. She could pick up the phone. 

Im going to meet Josh for lunch tomorrow. He wanted to talk to me in person. 

James has told me a little about Josh. He sounds like a really nice guy. I think hes pretty close to Josh and Mr. Kirkpatrick. 

Chris, Jim said. Mr. Kirkpatricks name is Chris. He asked me to call him that. 

Jim? I dont want James getting hurt because hes gay. 

Jim kissed his wife softly. Neither do I.   
    


* * *

Lance opened his eyes, blinking a little at the sunlight in his room. He heard a soft snore and looked to his left. Justin was lying on his stomach, his head buried in the pillow. 

Lance smiled, rolling over, resting his head on Justins shoulder. He tangled their legs together, resting his arm on Justins back. 

Morning, Justin mumbled softly. 

When did you get here? Lance asked, kissing his neck. 

A few hours ago. I left when I would have left for school. Your mom let me in. Hope that you dont mind that I climbed in bed with you. 

Like I mind waking up next to you. 

Justin rolled over and Lance shifted so his head was resting on Justins chest, his arm wrapped around his waist now. Justin held him gently. 

Howre your ribs? 

Sore but my lip hurts worse. 

Justin sifted his fingers through Lances hair. Im sorry. Can you admit that you were beaten up because of me yet? 

Lance sighed heavily. Do we have to talk about that? Cant we just lie here and enjoy the fact that we are unofficially suspended until Monday? 

They all know Im gay, Lance. Do you have any idea what that feels like? 

Uh yeah, Lance lifted his head, looking at Justin in amazement. Hi, I did it in ninth grade. I know exactly how it feels to have eyes on you, people looking down at you because of who you are. Ive been there, Justin, and Im there again. For you. 

Justin looked away. You dont have to be. I didnt ask you to do this for me. 

Lance moved away from him, breaking the welcome contact with Justin. 

Im your **boyfriend**. Unless you decide to break up with me, and I sure as hell hope you dont, Im a part of this whether you asked me to be or not.   
    
Justin quickly moved to hold Lance again. You are the most important part, Justin kissed him softly. Im in love with you, James. Im not going to break up with you. 

Lance smiled and cupped Justins cheek with his hand. I love you, Justin. I dont want to lose you. 

Justin turned his head, kissing the palm of Lances hand. And you wont. I promise. 

Justin laid back down next to him, letting Lance rest on him instead of the other way around. 

Did my mom say when we had to get up? 

Justin slipped his hands under the back of Lances shirt, the one he had been given by Josh yesterday. Nope. Why? Do you wanna get it on? 

Lance laughed and made a face. No way. My moms home. Besides, I still hurt. I just wanted to know how long I get to lie here with you, Lance yawned. Plus I wanted to sleep a little longer. 

Justin smiled. Sleep is good. 

Lance lifted the covers for a moment, peeking underneath. Good to know that youre happy to see me though. 

Justin grinned. Im **always** happy to see you. Ignore him. Hell realize that hes not getting his way this time. 

Lance dropped the covers and snuggled closer to Justins body. Tell him if hes good, he might get his way later on. 

Justin kissed the top of his head. Hell be good. 

I figured as much. 

Justin rested his arms on Lances back. So are you happy to see me? 

Lance gently thrust his hips in response to Justins question giving him all the answer he needed.   
    
    


* * *

 

Diane stood in the doorway of Lances bedroom, her hand resting on the frame. Lance was curled up next to Justin, his head resting on Justins chest. He was still asleep, but Justin was awake, stroking Lances hair and watching him sleep. 

Justin? 

He looked up at her, blushing slightly. Are you hungry, sweetie? Its already noon. 

Justin looked down at Lance again, debating whether he wanted to let Lance go long enough to eat. He nodded slowly, slipping out from underneath Lance. 

Diane looked away when she saw that he was in his boxers. Blushing, Justin slipped his pants back on and followed her downstairs. 

Sit, sweetie. Diane pulled a chair out for him, smiling warmly. Justin sat down, still feeling a little awkward. 

I was going to make grilled cheese and soup. Is that okay with you, sweetie? Because I can make something else if you want. 

Justin shook his head. Thats fine. Thanks, Diane. 

Diane began to make the sandwiches, her hands shaking a little. Justin watched her, his mind wandering as he thought about the past few days. 

Justin? Dianes voice was shaky and her back was still towards him. Do you love my son? 

Justin nodded, tears pricking at his eyes, before he realized she wasnt watching him. 

Yes. I love him so much. I wish I could take back what happened to him because of me. 

Diane turned to look at him, tears shining in her own eyes. He tells me that its not your fault. James honestly believes that so you and I have to as well, Justin. 

Its not true though. Hes never had a problem before now. The school finds out that hes dating me and now hes got a problem. Its not a coincidence. 

No, its not. We both know that and on some level, James knows that as well. Hes not going to admit it though. 

Justin nodded, resting his chin on his hands. Diane set a cup of coffee in front of him, patting him on the shoulder. She sat down across from him. 

God, Stacy would have a fit if she knew how lenient I was with the two of you. I never let Ford come over after ten oclock. I let you sleep in bed with James. 

Justin blushed and took a sip of the coffee. It was perfect, all sweet and milky, just the way Lance always made it for him. He must have learned it from Diane. I appreciate it. You didnt have to let me. 

Diane smiled and stood up again, stirring the soup on the stove. She began to make the sandwiches. 

I think it would be very stupid of me to start treating you differently because you are dating James now. Youve always been welcome in our home whenever you wanted. Now isnt any different. You are still one of his best friends. You just also happen to be his boyfriend as well. 

Justin smiled. Why cant you be my mom too?   
    
Diane laughed. Because it would be incest then. Im tolerant, but not **that** tolerant. 

Hmm...incest jokes in the morning, said Lance with a smile. He sat down at the kitchen table, reaching for Justins hand. You two must be bonding. 

Diane gently took his chin in her hand, looking at his face closely. She touched his lip, shaking her head. Do you want some coffee? 

Lance shook his head, reaching over to drink Justins. We can share. 

Diane smiled and got him a cup anyway. Let Justin drink his own coffee. Im making Justin soup and grilled cheese. Do you want some or is the coffee enough for now? 

Lance sipped the coffee. Im fine. Thanks, Mom. 

When did you wake up? Justin asked him softly, playing with Lances hair, making the thick blonde spikes stand up by twisting them. 

Pretty much when you left but the bed was nice and warm and it smelled like you, Lance blushed. Then I smelled coffee. 

Diane chuckled as she put a grilled cheese sandwich in front of Justin. She smacked Lances hand as he reached for it. Ill make you your own. Let Justin eat in peace. 

Justin picked up half of a sandwich and took a big bite, chewing exaggeratedly for Lances benefit. Lance stuck his tongue out at him. 

How old are you two? Five? Diane asked, setting a bowl of soup in front of Lance, shoving a spoon into his hand. You eat the soup while I make you a sandwich. 

Nah. We were never this well-behaved at five. 

Diane shook her head. I can vouch for the fact James was a pain in the ass, but Id have to get your mothers opinion on you, Justin. 

Justin handed Lance half of his sandwich, opening his mouth when Lance lifted a spoonful of soup up for him to eat. 

So, Diane paused. Are we going to talk about what happened or not? 

Not, said Lance, feeding Justin another spoonful of soup. 

Diane pursed her lips and flipped the sandwich, listening to it hiss on the hot pan. Well, I suppose Ill find out when your father gets home anyway. Hes having lunch with Josh today. 

He is? Justin asked before opening his mouth for another bite of soup. Diane nodded, cutting the sandwich in half and putting it in front of Lance, handing a spoon to Justin at the same time. 

Yeah, apparently Josh is a little worried about the two of you, as is Chris, so he wanted to talk to Jim about it. 

Lance picked at the sandwich, frowning a little. Look, Im fine. What happened wont happen again, so cant we just drop it? 

How can you be so sure about that, James? Diane sat down again, looking her son in the eye. You and Justin are dating each other and from what I see, its not going to be ending in the foreseeable future, so it **could** happen again. I dont want that, James. 

This **wasnt** because of Justin! 

Then what was it about? Why did you get beaten up? 

Lance threw his spoon across the kitchen, getting up quickly. I **dont** want to talk about this. Just leave me alone! Both of you! 

Diane and Justin could hear his footsteps as he ran upstairs. The door slammed a moment later. Diane looked up at the ceiling. 

5, 4, 3, 2... Before she could say one, the sound of Tori Amos began to play, the beginning of the song Pretty Good Year filling the house. 

Justin sighed and took another spoonful of soup. So after Baker Baker it should be safe to go upstairs? 

Diane shook her head. I would say after The Waitress this time. Hes pretty upset. Until then, you and I will have a little chat. 

About what? 

Justin, how are **you** doing? Jim and I are worried about you, almost as much as we are worried about James. This cant be easy for you. 

Im scared, Diane. Im really scared, Justin lifted his head, looking at her. I feel like Im alone right now, even though I have so many people supporting me, loving me. But I dont have the love and support of the one person I really want it from because Im just too scared to tell her about myself. 

Justin began to fiddle with the coffee mug. When I realized that the whole school knew that I was gay, I felt such...relief. 

Diane raised an eyebrow at him. 

I know thats not how I was supposed to be feeling, Justin nodded. But it was the first thing I felt. Granted fear crept up pretty quickly after that and thats what stuck around the longest, but I really was initially relieved. 

Diane sipped her coffee. How were you supposed to feel if relief was the wrong emotion? 

Angry, scared, betrayed, Justin shrugged. I felt all that as well as the relief, so I guess I felt the right way. 

Theres no right or wrong way to feel about this, sweetie. What happened when James came out is going to be different then your coming out or the next persons coming out. You are a very different person and you are allowed to feel relieved that people know that youre gay. 

Justin smiled at her. I wish there was some way you could talk to my parents about this. You are so great about James being gay. 

Diane reached for the grilled cheese sandwich Lance had abandoned when he stalked out of the room. 

There was a lot of stuff that went on in private between James, Jim, Stacy, and myself when James told us he was gay. I started out by blaming myself. Then I blamed Jim for not being a strong male influence on James. He blamed me for mothering him too much. Stacy prayed for all of us. And James just let us go through what we needed to go through. He didnt act any different then he had before he came out. 

Diane took a bite of the sandwich. I didnt treat him well for a while. I wouldnt touch him, which, I think was the hardest part for both of us. Hes a very affectionate person, as you know, she blushed a little at that. I am too. And not being able to bring myself to touch him was terrible. 

What changed? 

Diane wrinkled her forehead, looking down at the sandwich. To be honest, I really cant put into words what changed in my mind. I started seeing James as my son again, remembering that he was my flesh and blood. I started talking to him about it, asking him questions which he was happy to answer. It wasnt overnight that my feelings about it changed, but they did change rather quickly. 

Diane smiled at Justin. I guess I realized that I love James too much to deny him his happiness. And if being with another man is what makes my son happy, then thats just how it is. I gave myself an ultimatum in my own head. Either learn to accept and love James for who is or walk away now. I tried to imagine what it would be like without him in my life and threw that option away quickly. Id rather have him in my life. 

Justin sighed, picking at his sandwich, playing with the cheese. Diane took a sip of her coffee. 

Plus, the two of you are adorable together. 

Justin blushed and took a bite of grilled cheese. Thanks. 

Do you want to tell her, Justin? 

Yeah, I do, he looked at Diane again. Shes my mother and I want her to know who I am. Im not going to tell her because I **know** in heart that its not going to go well. Shes not going to accept that this is just who I am. Justin dropped the sandwich on his plate, biting his lip, trying not to cry. And that hurts. A lot. 

Diane walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly, letting Justin cry on her shoulder. She gently stroked his curls. 

I know it doesnt mean much, but youll always have me, sweetie.   
    
  
---  
  
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	27. Chapter Twenty-Six

Josh stood up, shaking the hand of the man standing by the table. With a smile, Josh gestured at the chair across from him. Please, have a seat, Mr. Bass.   
    
Jim smiled and sat down. My names Jim. I never liked being called Mr. Bass. I make all of James friends call me Jim, so Id like it if you would too.   
    
As long as you agree to calling me Josh, he said with a smile as well.   
    
I can do that, Josh. Im glad you would meet with me today.   
    
Lance is my friend and Ive been where he is when I was younger. I care about the kid.   
    
Jim smiled and picked up the menu. If you dont mind my asking, how old are you?   
    
Im 24. Why?   
    
Youre the same age as my daughter, Stacys, husband, he put the menu down, folding his hands on top of it. I should be calling you a kid.   
    
Ah but Im not a kid, Josh smiled, liking this man already. I have too many responsibilities to be a kid. Chris, on the other hand, will always be a kid.   
    
Diane says the same thing about me. Personally, thats her fault. She keeps buying me remote control cars. My granddaughter likes to chew on them.   
    
I got Chris this awesome one for Christmas that can climb over logs and stuff like that. He was in heaven. And his niece likes to chew on his cars too.   
    
The waiter came over and both of them ordered sandwiches. How long a lunch break do you have?   
    
Jim looked at his watch. Another 45 minutes. How about you?   
    
As long as I want. Its good being the boss, Josh grinned and took a sip of his iced tea.   
  

  

* * *

    
Diane knocked on Lances door. Justin stood behind her, chewing on his nails nervously. When there was no answer, she knocked again. The volume of the music decreased, letting them know they were welcome.   
    
Lance was sitting on the bed, hugging his stuffed teddy bear tightly with tears running down his face.   
    
What took you two so long? Lance asked, looking up at his mother and boyfriend. Baker Baker was over a few songs ago.   
    
Diane sat behind him wrapping her arms around him tightly. She stroked his hair, resting her chin on his shoulder, his head leaning against hers.   
    
I wanted to give you a little more time to think, she kissed his cheek. Howre you doing, honey?   
    
Lance held his hand out to Justin, who was still standing in the doorway. Justin quickly sat on the bed, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. Lance tugged on Justins hand, pulling him closer.   
    
Im sorry I yelled at both of you, Lance said softly. I shouldnt have gotten mad. Nothing that happened is either of your faults.   
    
Have you figured out whos fault it is?   
    
Lance sighed and tugged on Justins hand again. Justin slid closer to him so their knees were touching.   
    
I suppose I could blame Britney, Justin looked at his lap when Lance said that. But Id rather not blame anyone.   
    
Diane reached out and took Justins other hand. You two need to realize that this isnt going to be easy. People arent going to just accept that you love each other.   
    
    


* * *

  

This is totally gross, Christina said, pushing the plate of food towards Joey. Enjoy, hon.   
    
Joey raised an eyebrow at her. Are you trying to kill me?   
    
Nick rolled his eyes and took the food. Ill eat it. Im starving.   
    
Howie smacked AJ in the back of the head. Pay attention. Youre not going to get her number anyway.   
    
AJ scowled at Howie, before flashing another smile at the girl he was talking to at the table next to theirs. She gave him a get away from me you psycho freak smile and went back to her lunch.   
    
Did anyone try this mush yet? Nick Lachey asked as he sat down next to Joey.   
    
Yeah. Its disgusting. Nicks eating mine. Christina said, stealing one of Jeffs French fries.   
    
So **is** Lance okay? Drew asked, finally getting them to focus on why they were all actually sitting together at lunch.   
    
For the most part. Hes got a black eye, a split lip, and bruised ribs. Christina exchanged looks with Joey for a moment, trying to get him to tell her whether or not it was okay to mention Josh to everyone.   
    
Joey shrugged and looked at the plate for a moment. 

When are they coming back?   
    
Joey looked up at that question since it came from the least likely person sitting at the table now, Justin Jeffre. He was friends with Justin and Lance, but he was horribly uncomfortable with the idea of them being gay.   
    
Monday. Greene unofficially suspended them. Christina answered, smiling warmly at him. Justin smiled back, looking down at his food again. 

* * *

I know its not going to be easy, Mom, Lance said, turning his head a little to look at her. But I just want to be able to hold his hand without someone wanting to kick my ass.   
    
And its always going to be your ass they want to kick, James, Diane said firmly. We all know that no one in that school will touch Justin so they are going to hurt you in order to hurt him.   
    
Its not so long until graduation, Lance said softly, not looking at either of them.   
    
NO! Justin said, pulling his hand away, reaching up to cup Lances cheek. Im not going to spend the next five months kissing bruised lips and worrying about whether or not you can walk down a hallway by yourself. I love you, Lance, and Im not going to just stand by and accept that you are getting beaten up because you are my boyfriend.   
    
Then what do we do? Lance asked him softly. I doubt the **whole** school is suddenly going to accept that you are gay **and** my boyfriend.   
    
Yeah, but Im still Justin Timberlake, Justin gave him a small smile. I might as well use that influence to protect you.   
    
Justin... Lance trailed off. Really?   
    
Justin nodded. Of course. I dont think Britneys killed everything I was yet. She cant take away the fact the school needs me to win basketball and baseball games. Justin shrugged. Hopefully, thats enough to make them back off.   
    
Diane smiled and squeezed Justins hand. That sounds like a start at least, she let go of his hand and moved away from the two of them, taking the teddy bear away from Lance. Now would you please kiss my son, Justin? Id like to see him smile.   
    
Justin smiled. My pleasure, he leaned forward, gently kissing Lances bruised lips, his hand resting on his cheek still. Lance pulled him closer, parting Justins lips with his tongue.   
    
Diane got off the bed, watching them kiss for a moment, her heart twisting a little. She put the teddy bear down and shut the bedroom door behind her.   
  

* * *

 I got an idea, Drew said out of no where. The table had been silent for a few minutes. Stand up, Timmons.   
    
Jeff looked at him strangely, but stood up anyway. Drew stood up and faced him.   
    
Dont take this the wrong way, man. Were both straight. Just follow my lead.   
    
And Drew kissed him.   
    
Jeffs eyes flew open, but he didnt move away, instead he brought his arms up to rest on Drews shoulders.   
    
Fuck, Nick muttered, standing up and grabbing Nick Lachey. A moment later, both Nicks were kissing each other.   
    
What the hell, Howie pulled AJ up and kissed him. Joey and Justin Jeffre looked at each, Justin blushing horribly.   
    
Im only doing this for Justin and Lance, Justin said to Joey before kissing him. Joey just blinked and stood there.   
    
The lunchroom was silent. Christinas eyes were wide open as she sat there, watching all the guys kiss each other.   
    
She felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Jessica was standing behind her. Our boyfriends are kissing other men, Christina.   
    
Christina just nodded, letting Jessica pull her up. When in Rome, Jessica said a moment before kissing Christina.   
    
Drew broke away from Jeff first. The others broke apart soon after.   
    
So are you gonna beat all of us up like you beat Lance up? Drews voice carried through the quiet lunchroom. Cause if you are, you better start now. Theres a lot of us.   
    
No one said anything and no one moved. Okay then. Get used to it. What you just saw, Drew gestured at himself and Jeff, then at the others. Justin and Lance might just want to do it sometime. And guess what, all of you are gonna sit there and ignore it.   
    
If any of you touch either of them, you have to answer to me, Joey said loudly.   
    
You have to answer to all of us, Jeff said. And we arent going to be nice about it.   
    
Gentlemen, A loud voice said across the room. If youve made your point, please sit down.   
    
Principal Greene was standing on the steps entering the lunchroom.   
    
No one here is going to touch any of you or Mr. Timberlake and Mr. Bass. If they do, they risk immediate expulsion. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Am I making myself clear?   
    
No one spoke. Good. He left the lunchroom again.   
    
Well, that was unexpected, AJ said, sitting down again. He looked over at Howie who just looked back at him.   
    
Next time, dont slip me the tongue, McLean, Howie quipped, sitting back down.   
    
But you got such pretty lips, Howie. AJ said with a grin.   
    
Can we see the two of you kissing again? Jeff asked, gesturing at Christina and Jessica.   
    
NO! The girls said in unison, leading to a table full of pouting teenage boys. 

  

* * *

    
Josh laughed and shook his head as he talked to Chris. All of them? Damn. And Greene backed them up too. Wow.   
    
Jim looked on, waiting for him to finish the call. Ill see you when I get home tonight. Yeah, Ill fill Jim in. Love you.   
    
Josh hung up the phone and put it down. Seems that Lance and Justins friends decided to take care of the school situation themselves.   
    
Jim frowned. Im almost afraid to ask.   
    
Apparently, all the guys theyre friends with stood up in the middle of the lunchroom and kissed each other.   
    
Jim began to laugh. No way.   
    
Josh nodded. Then Drew, I think thats who Chris said it was, told everyone to get used to it because Justin and Lance might want to do that once in awhile. Then Joey threatened them.   
    
Well, thats what Joey does best.   
    
Josh nodded. Theres more. The principal told everyone that touching Justin or Lance will result in an immediate expulsion.   
    
Well shit, Jim said, raising his glass of lemonade up. Josh lifted his iced tea. Heres to my son having some pretty damn good friends.   
    
  
---  
  
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	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Joey gritted his teeth as he looked at Britney, his arms crossed in front of him. 

What the hell are you doing here? 

Im looking for Christina, Britney said, trying to get past Joey and into the Agulerias house. 

Well look all you want, Joey growled, pushing her backwards lightly, not really wanting to hurt her any. At least not physically. You aint getting in this house, Britney. Not after what you did. 

Oh dont tell me you think I did that to hurt you or Christina, Britney waved her hand. It had nothing to do with our friendship. 

No, Joey said, his hand on the door frame. This has everything to do with our friendship. This is really, really fucked up, Britney. You dont actually think that we would even want to associate with you now, do you? 

Joey, Britney placed her hands on his chest and pushed as hard as she could, not even budging the large man. Let me see Christina. 

Let me talk to her, Joey, Christina said, coming up behind him, Maggie resting on her hip. 

Joey frowned but took the baby from Christina. Ill be in the play room with the other two. If I hear anything, and I mean anything that I dont like, I will be there in two seconds kicking you out of the house, Britney. 

Christina handed over Maggie willingly, kissing Joey on the lips softly. 

Are you going to let me in? asked Britney, feeling less and less in control of anything, especially her own emotions. For some reason, losing Joey and Christina never crossed her mind. 

I suppose so, Christina said coolly, gesturing for Britney to walk inside. Lets talk in my room. I dont really want Ben and Terri to hear any of this. 

Britney followed Christina upstairs and down to the end of the hall to the room she shared with Terri. The two of them had spent hours in here together, painting their nails, doing there hair, talking about boys. There was still a Bon Jovi poster on the wall that Britney got for Christina when they were both 10 and in love with Jon Bon Jovi. 

Christina sat down on her bed, crossing her legs and waiting for Britney to sit as well. 

Reluctantly, Britney sat down, the familiar pink walls seemed cold for some reason. 

Why did you do it? 

Britney shifted uncomfortably on the couch. I dont need to explain myself to you, she looked down at her hands. You wouldnt understand anyway. 

I think, Christina said, choosing her words carefully. If you want me to even contemplate still being your friend, you better start talking. 

You really wouldnt understand, Britney sighed heavily. You have no idea where Im coming from. Fuck, you and Joey are perfect. 

We are far from perfect, Britney. You more then anyone should know that. 

Joeys not gay, Britney said between clenched teeth. Hes not fucking your best friend. 

Youre right. Hes not, Christina balled her hands up, her nails digging into her palms. So are you going to tell me or are you going to sit here and try to talk around me? 

Why are you getting so bent out of shape over this? 

Christinas jaw dropped. You arent serious, are you? 

Im asking, arent I? Just tell me why this is upsetting you so much. 

Because you hurt two of the people I love most in the world. You managed to destroy everything the five of us have had for the past ten years since Lance moved here, the past seventeen since we were all born, in one simple act. Frankly, I dont even know who you are anymore, Britney. The Britney I know and love wouldnt do this to her best friends. 

Britney stood up. Well then maybe you dont know me. 

I think thats apparent now, Christina shook her head. I cant be your friend. I hope you realize that. I wanted to stick by you in this, to support you. But I cant support this person you seem to be. You arent someone I want to call my friend. 

Britney sniffled. I need you, Chrissy. 

Christina closed her eyes. I cant be here for you, Britney. Please get out of my house now. 

Youd just leave me alone like this? 

Christina opened her eyes, tears filling her crystal blue eyes. You made that choice on Tuesday, not me. 

I could hurt Justin more, Britney said weakly, grasping at straws. I could hurt Mr. Kirkpatrick. I could hurt Joey. 

Yeah, Christina stood up. You could do that but you wont. 

How do you know? 

Because if you do, you have to answer to me, Christina said, standing inches from Britneys face, their eyes locked together. Do you understand me? 

Britney nodded, swallowing thickly. Im sorry. 

Its too late for that. Get out of my house and get out of my life. Goodbye, Britney. 

Britney turned to walk away, her eyes swimming with tears. 

Britney, Christina called out, stopping her. You may think because you hurt Justin, because indirectly you made Lance bleed that youve won but you didnt. You lost. Big time. 

It wasnt about winning or losing, Christina. It was about... 

How much pain you can cause, Christina finished up for her. I know how your mind works. 

You dont know me. 

Thats what you keep telling me, Christina turned her back on Britney, knowing that would make her leave. 

Bye, Britney said softly before shutting the bedroom door behind her. 

Christina slumped against the bed. Bye. She whispered back. 

Joey heard the front door slam. He stood up, leaving Ben and Terri alone in the play room, holding Maggie in his arms. He knocked softly on Christinas door before opening it. She was standing up, leaning against the bed for support. 

Hon? Everything okay? 

No, Christina whispered. Nothings going to be okay again.   
    
    


* * *

  
Britney shut her locker softly after looking once more at the picture of her and Justin taped up inside it. She hugged her books to her chest, looking up and down the hallway. People were everywhere, laughing, talking. She sighed quietly before heading down the hall to class.   
    
She had to walk to school this morning. Everyone she called for a ride hung up on her. It was like she was poison all of a sudden.   
    
Nick! Jessica! Britney called out to her friends, waving to them.   
    
Nick and Jessica just walked passed, ignoring her hello.  
    
Britney stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, getting bumped as people walked passed her.   
    
She wanted to scream.   
  

* * *

Justin held Lances hand nervously, talking quietly as people seemed to ignore them. That worked fine for him. Ignoring meant no one was hitting Lance.   
    
You okay? asked Justin quietly, squeezing Lances hand.   
    
Yeah, smiled Lance. Im okay. You okay?   
    
Im scared to death, Justin admitted. Can we go home now? I liked that not going to school thing we did last week.   
    
And let Britney win? No way. Lance shut his locker, holding his books with his free arm. He opened his mouth to say something else but he was cut off.   
    
Timberlake, A voice broke through the crowd. Justin turned in the direction it came from.   
    
Jeremy and Tate pushed their way over to where Justin and Lance were. Unconsciously, Justin stepped in front of Lance. Kids stopped in the hall, watching with interest.   
    
Jeremy shifted on his feet, looking down at their hands for a moment.   
    
Uh... he coughed. Men Tate wanted to wish you luck in todays game against St. Rose.   
    
Tate just nodded in agreement.   
    
Thanks, Justin said softly, still wary. Well do our best.   
    
Youll crush em, Timberlake, Jeremy managed a smile. You guys always do.   
    
He turned to leave. Uh...well...see you two around.   
    
And then they walked away. People started moving again. The bell rang signaling the start of first period.   
    
Justin, Lance tugged on his hand gently. We have to go to class.   
    
He wished me luck, Justin said softly. He didnt say anything mean. And he didnt try to hurt you.   
    
Lance leaned in and pecked Justin on the lips quickly. The hall was fairly empty at this point.   
    
Everything will be fine, Lance reassured Justin. Its just going to take some time but it will be alright.   
    
Yeah, Justin smiled. Maybe it will be.   
  
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	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Hello, AJ yawned into the phone, pushing his covers down so he could sit up and at least attempt to concentrate. Heck...it could be his **mom** and he doesnt want her to know how drunk he was last night. Howie mumbled something and pulled the covers back up again. AJ looked over at him. Howie had passed out in bed with him again. 

AJ! Britney said happily. How are you, hon? 

Oh. Hi Britney, AJ leaned over and shook Howie, trying to wake him up. Im okay. Just a little sleepy. 

So, Britney flopped back on her bed. I hear youre having a party tonight... 

AJ grimaced and kicked Howie to wake him up. He cupped his hand over the receiver. Howie. Wake the **fuck** up. Britneys on the phone. 

Howie just reached over and took the phone from AJ, not even opening his eyes. 

No you cant come tonight. Stop calling AJ. 

Howie? said Britney in confusion. 

Get out of our lives, Howie said before hanging up the phone and handing it back to AJ. 

AJ looked at him in awe. You hung up on her!?! 

Howie finally opened one eye and looked at AJ. Yeah. So? Go back to sleep. Ive got a fucking headache. 

Thanks, AJ yawned, rolling over and going back to sleep. 

Britney held the phone in her hand for a few minutes after Howie hung up on her. She blinked back tears as she put the phone back in the cradle. Fine. They didnt want her around. She didnt need them. She has other friends. She could call Keri...except Keri would probably be going to AJs tonight. She sighed. 

Britney got up and walked over to the mirror, picking up her hair brush. She began to play with her long hair, pulling the brush through it. Justin loved her hair long. Her **mom** loved her hair long. 

Britney reached for the scissors, holding a section of her hair firmly. She closed her eyes tightly as she touched the scissors to her hair, closing them around the chunk of hair. 

Her hand holding the hair dropped and she opened her eyes, swallowing as she looked at all her hair in her hand. She looked at herself in the mirror. 

Well, she blinked slowly. Its a lot wavier then I remember. 

Britney set her jaw as she looked at her reflection, lifting the scissors and cutting again.   
  

* * *

I think I like the light blue better, Josh said, pursing his lips and staring at the sweater.   
    
Are you sure? Christina asked, looking down at the sweater. I think the green is pretty.   
    
It **is** pretty, Josh said, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. I just think the blue is better for your colouring.   
    
Christina looked in the mirror again. Well, what do you think about the pants? 

Those, my love, are perfect.   
    
They heard someone laughing behind them. Im telling my brother youre cheating on him, JC.   
    
Josh turned around and looked at the girl behind him. Em dear, your brother is no fun to shop with, he hugged her tightly. Besides, do you think he would look good in those pants?   
    
The dark-haired girl looked at Christinas pants and shook her head.   
    
Nope. Those wouldnt look good on Chris at all but they look really good on you, she stuck her hand out. Hi, Im Emily.   
    
Im Christina and thanks, she said with a smile, shaking Emilys hand. I take it you are Mr. Kirkpatricks sister? 

Emily smacked Josh lightly. Is she one of his students? Youre cheating on him with a student of his?   
    
Be nice, Emily, Josh admonished her. Christina is a student of Chris but shes also my friend. I just havent broken her of the Mr. Kirkpatrick habit yet.   
    
Christina shifted a little on her feet, looking at the other girl. She looked so much like Mr. Kirkpatrick, right down to the same mischievous grin.   
    
Oh, JC. I have a **huge** favour to ask you. I was going to call but since youre here and all...   
    
When do you need us to watch Taylor?   
    
Tonight, Emily batted her eyelashes. Please, JC. Moms working a double and I cant drop her at Mollys tonight because she and Steve are going out anyway and she already has a babysitter for Darla and Katie is working too.   
    
So whats his name?   
    
Emily blushed. Who said it was because I have a date? she sighed when Josh just raised an eyebrow. Okay, his name is Mike Garson. Were going out to dinner and a movie. Ill pick her up tomorrow morning before church. I promise.   
    
You owe me, kiddo. Ill pick her up on my way home.   
    
Emily wrapped her arms around Joshs neck. Thank you, JC, she kissed his cheek. See you soon. Nice to meet you, Christina.   
    
Nice to meet you too, Christina said as the girl disappeared.   
    
I can never say no to any of his sisters and they all know that, Josh said, picking up another shirt and handing it to Christina. Try this one on. Itll look great with those pants.   
    
How many sisters does he have? Christina asked, stepping back into the dressing room. She didnt really care if Josh saw her change, but other people watching bothered her.   
    
Chris is one of five and hes the only male. They all have him wrapped around their little finger.   
    
Christina stepped back out of the dressing room, turning around for Josh to see.   
    
I know that feeling. Im one of six. At least were split evenly. All of them know that Ill do anything they want though. Even Maggie and shes only 16 months old.   
    
Josh pulled on the bottom of the shirt a little, holding her arms out. It looks good. Chris family ranges from twenty-eight to seven.   
    
What about you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?   
    
Both actually. Tyler is 21 and Heather is 19, Josh began to gather up the clothes they had discarded and hung them up. Did you want to go see if they still have those boots we saw last week?   
    
Ooh yeah, she pulled off the shirt and put it back on the hanger. Those were awesome. Did you ever buy those boots you were looking at?   
    
Which boots did you think I was talking about, those sexy knee length ones you were drooling over? he grinned. I was talking about the ones I liked.   
    
You are such a bitch sometimes, Christina laughed. God, I cant believe I just said that to you.   
    
Josh opened the curtain and looked at her. I may be a bitch, but you are the one who calls me every weekend to go out.   
    
Christina grinned and pulled her dress on. And you love every minute of me. Who else do you get to be so gay around?   
    
Josh laughed and shut the curtain again. I think Im pretty gay around Chris. Of course thats because I have **sex** with him.   
    
Ewww! Christina groaned. Hes still my teacher.   
    
Just dress, love.   
    
Christina stepped out of the dressing room, holding the three shirts and the pants she had decided on.   
    
JC? 

Josh looked over at her and shrugged. I was called it for years. My brother was the only one who called me it after college until he said it around Emily and Katie. Now Im JC to them.   
    
Its kinda cute.   
    
Dont get any ideas, Chrissy. 

She shrugged. I let you call me Chrissy. I should at least get to call you JC.   
    
Ill think about.   
    
Christina grabbed his hand, pulling him to the register. Cmon, JC. The faster we pay, the faster we can see if those boots are still there.   
  

* * *

Cmon. Move you slackers!   
    
Joey shook his head and picked up the pace. Justin was running next to him, sweating profusely. Nick caught up to them, panting as he ran.   
    
So...you...guys...are...coming...right?   
    
Justin managed a nod. Whens the party start?   
    
8...AJs...bring...pot.   
    
Joey nodded. Im chargin.   
    
Nick smiled and ran past him, turning so he was running backwards. We...know. he turned around. Drew! Wait...up!   
    
How many more laps? Joey moaned.   
    
Too many. Just think about tonight.   
    
Joey grinned. Im gonna get me some tonight. 

Justin shook his head and smiled back. Hey, so am I. He winked at Joey who just laughed at him.   
    
Must be nice to not be frozen out one week of the month, Joey grinned. You two can get some whenever you feel like it.   
    
Ah, its good to be gay.   
    
Okay! Everyone line up. Time for drills.   
    
Joey moaned again. I hate drills. Whens basketball over again?   
    
Three more weeks, Jeff said, standing next to them, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Then we start getting ready for baseball.   
    
I **knew** I shoulda stuck to choir.   
    
Fatone!   
  

* * *

Christina laughed and pushed Joey away from her, reaching for the glass of wine she was drinking.   
    
I am not sleeping with you right now, she slurred drunkenly. Theres people around.   
    
Its only them, Joey threw his arm out, gesturing to the rest of the room.   
    
The only people who were left at this point was the main group and most of them were passed out or taking hits of a joint that was being passed around.   
    
Kevins getting some, Joey whined, pointing at Kevin and Kristen who were busy in a chair on the other side of the room. Cant I get some too?   
    
AJs not getting any, so youre not getting any, Christina gestured to her cousin who was passed out on top of Howie, drooling on his stomach. Howie on the other hand was just laughing at something Jeff had said to him. AJ passing out on top of him at some point during the evening was commonplace. Howie didnt really mind because if AJ was passed out on him, he was staying out of trouble.   
    
Its **AJ**. He **never** gets any. 

Has anyone seen Mandy? Nick asked, struggling to sit up. I cant find her anywhere.   
    
Youve been passed out for an hour, Carter. Mandys asleep in the den. Drew put her in there for you.   
    
Nick groaned and managed to sit up, hauling himself up using the couch. I should go sleep with her, he coughed. Not in that sense. Perverts. All of you.   
    
We didnt say anything, Brian mumbled, his head buried in Leighannes shoulder. He reached over to take the joint from Drew, waving as Nick stumbled out of the room to go see if his girlfriend was okay.   
    
Justin nuzzled Lances neck, sucking gently on his ear. Lance giggled and took the joint from Brian. He inhaled, passing it to Jessica before grabbing Justins face and kissing him, passing the smoke to him.   
    
Justin sighed happily and pulled Lance to the ground, wrapping his arms around him and slipping his hand under Lances shirt. Lance threw his leg over Justins, pressing up against him.   
    
Aw come on. Even Justin and Lance are getting some. Please? Joey batted his eyelashes at his girlfriend.   
    
Fine, Christina put down her glass of wine and grabbed Joeys hand. Make sure they dont have sex in here. She gestured at Justin and Lance.   
    
Got it. No gay sex in public. Drew said, grabbing Lances arm and tugging on it.   
    
Busy, Lance mumbled, pulling it back. Justin batted at Drews hand, pushing him away.   
    
Chrissy told me you werent allowed to have sex in here. Drew said falling backwards next to them. He put his arm around Lance, cuddling up to him and closing his eyes.   
    
Justin lifted his head up and looked at Drew. Umm...Lachey. Get your hands off my boyfriend.   
    
He smells nice, Drew mumbled into Lances neck.   
    
Whos touching me? Lance asked looking at his side. Whys Drew touching me?   
    
Okay, little brother. Hands off Timberlakes man, Nick managed to disengage Drew, depositing him on the couch where Christina and Joey just were. You got to find your own.   
    
Drew rolled over and grabbed a pillow, clutching it close to himself. Almost immediately, he began snoring.   
    
Sorry about that. He tends to hump anything when hes really drunk, Nick said to them, sitting back down and pulling Jessica back over to him. Chrissy did say to make sure you two dont have sex in here. His voice was almost apologetic.   
    
Why not? Justin asked. Kevins having sex over there. Justin pointed at the corner where something without clothes was now going on under a blanket. See.   
    
Its different, Justin, Brian mumbled. Kevins fucking a girl. You fuck Lance.   
    
Justin sat up, glaring at Brian. I dont **fuck** Lance.   
    
So he fucks you then. Same difference.   
    
We **dont** fuck, Brian.   
    
Lance grabbed Justins arm. Calm down. Hes drunk.   
    
Brian sat up and stared at Justin. Then what do you **do** if you dont fuck each other? You do have sex, right?   
    
Howie gently pushed AJ off his stomach and crawled over to where Brian and Justin were.   
    
Bri, lie back down and kiss Leigh a little more. Justin, just kiss Lance. If you want to have sex go upstairs. Ill go send Kevin and Kristen up there too. No one should be having sex down here.   
    
Justin pushed Howie away and glared at Brian some more. What do you mean just cause we dont **that** we dont have sex? What the **fuck** do you know?   
    
Howie put his hands on Justins shoulders. He doesnt know anything and hes showing that right now. Why dont you and Lance go upstairs and well all talk in the morning?   
    
Well how do I know how this gay shit works? I thought it was just fucking in a different hole. What else is there to sex?   
    
Slowly, people were starting to pay more attention to Brian and Justins argument. Nick and Jessica were watching closely. Jeff had woken up AJ since it was his house and any fights that go on should be witnessed by him. Lance was chewing on his nails and blushing, still trying to get Justin to back down, tugging on his hand.   
    
Theres **a lot** more to sex then just sticking your dick in someone, Littrell! How the fuck do you satisfy any woman if you dont know **that**?   
    
Its a little fucking different with you and **Lance** then me and some chick Im fucking, he turned to look at Leighanne. Not that Im sleeping with anyone else but you, hon, he looked back at Justin. And Im fucking **good** at having sex. I can satisfy a woman.   
    
So can I! Justin shouted back. I just dont fucking **want** to. I **want** to satisfy Lance.   
    
Well do you? Brian shouted at him, staring at Lance though. Lance dropped his head into his lap. 

Thats none of your fucking business! Do you satisfy Leighanne? 

"I fucking satisfy her just fine. You obviously couldnt satisfy Britney since she fucked Nick while dating you! 

Alright. Thats quite enough. Howie pulled Justin out of the room and Jeff held Brian back.   
    
He fucking insulted me! Justin shouted as Howie pushed him against the wall. Im gonna kick his ass.   
    
No youre not, Justin. Youre drunk. Hes drunk. Just let it drop. Go upstairs to AJs room and go have sex with your boyfriend. Or just go to sleep. Either way, dont go back in there for now.   
    
But Howie...   
    
Dont but Howie me. I dont want to hear it. Howies normally soft brown eyes glared at him and Justin just nodded.   
    
I dont fuck Lance, Justin said softly. Its not fucking anyway. I love him.   
    
Howie relaxed his grip on Justins shoulders. Is that why youre mad? Because Brian didnt think what you and Lance have is about love?   
    
Yes? Justin said tentatively. 

Aw fuck, Justin. All of us know this is about love. Brians not around to see what the two of you do for each other every fucking day. He just sees you guys every so often at a party where it fairly safe for the two of you to touch each other because its one of our parties. All he knows is that one day he got a phone call and was informed that you were gay and dating Lance. He took it all in stride then and what hes doing now is just drunk, stoned talk. Brian knows that you love each other. Hes just being an ignorant fuck at the moment. Howie let go of Justin. Trust me. We all know you love each other. I kissed **AJ** for your love. 

Ive been meaning to ask you, Justin smiled. Was he a good kisser? 

Howie rolled his eyes. Are you calm now? 

Justin nodded. Yeah, I think I should go to bed though. 

Sounds like a good idea to me, Lance said from where he was standing a little down the hall. Thanks Howie. 

Howie patted Justin on the shoulder one more time. No problem. You two go to upstairs, have sex, sleep, braid each others hair, whatever, he smiled. Im gonna go calm Brian down. See you guys in the morning. 

Howie squeezed Lances shoulder as he walked by. 

Justin looked down at his feet, embarrassed at his actions. A finger lifted his chin and he blinked, looking at Lance and smiling sheepishly. 

Sorry? 

"You were going to kick his ass for that, werent you? 

Justin nodded, looking away again. Probably. 

Lance turned Justins face back so he could look at him again, green eyes wide and blinking slowly as they met fluttering blue eyes. 

Youre kinda sexy when youre all pissed off like that. Kinda turns me on. 

Justin slowly smiled back. Really? 

Lance leaned in and bit down on Justins ear gently, sucking on it. His hand slid up Justins shirt to pinch a nipple. 

Really. Why dont we go upstairs now? 

Justin moaned softly and nodded as Lances hand slid down to his crotch, massaging his erection through his pants. 

Okay. Good plan.   
  
---  
  
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	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine

Justin! Can you come downstairs for a minute? Lynne hollered up the steps, hoping he heard her over the music.   
    
One sec! Justin hollered back, saving the paper he was working on and turning off the music. He threw a shirt on and headed downstairs.   
    
Yeah, Mom? Justin asked sitting down at the kitchen table with her.   
    
I wanted to talk to you about college, hon. You have to make a choice soon. Your father and I need to figure out how we are going to do this financially.   
    
Justin nodded and slumped down in the chair a little. Lynne pulled out the infamous college folder that she made him make.   
    
You got accepted everywhere you applied, so at least you have a few choices. FSU is offering you the full scholarship if you play basketball for them. Your father, Paul and I think thats the best choice.   
    
Justin got up and grabbed a glass, pouring himself some orange juice. He leaned against the counter as he drank.   
    
Im not sure I want to spend all my time as a basketball player. I would really like to actually spend my time in college, I dont know, being a college student.   
    
Lynne nodded, looking at the letters spread out in front of her. She picked up one.   
    
The University of Tennessee **is** offering you about $6,000 based on your grades alone. And I know your father would be thrilled to have you closer, she pursed her lips, looking at him. Of course then you would be further from me.   
    
Justin sighed and hopped up on the counter. A divorced parent dig. Like he hadnt heard those before. Justin heard it every week when he called his father from him and then when he got off the phone from his mother.   
    
I **still** like Georgia Tech best. And thats where AJ is going, so there would be someone I know there. I can live with him.   
    
Lynne sighed and got up, walking over to her son. She rested her hands on Justins knees and looked at him.   
    
Honey, I know that Georgia Tech is your first choice, but they arent offering you any money to go there. Its a very expensive school and I just dont think your father and I are going to be able to afford it. she patted Justins knee. The only reason that Denise is able to send AJ is he got a huge scholarship for digital imaging.   
    
Justin sighed, nodding at her. Ill get loans too. he dropped his head. Do I have to decide now?   
    
No, you dont have to decide right this minute. I think we should make a pros and cons list.   
    
Justin nodded and hopped off the counter. Have you figured out what you want to major in yet, Justin?   
    
Not really, Justin said, writing down the names of the colleges on a notebook.   
    
Then how do you know that going to Georgia Tech is a good idea?   
    
Justin sighed. Ill put that down as a con for Georgia Tech. No definite major.   
    
Are you going to be here for dinner, Justin?   
    
No. Im eating at Lances tonight. He started making notes of prices and awards.   
    
Lynne frowned and sat back down. I dont want you going over to the Bass house anymore.   
    
Justin kept writing even though his heart was pounding wildly in his chest.   
    
Why not? 

Lance is gay and they dont see anything wrong with it. I dont want you going over there and I **dont** want you spending any time with him.   
    
Mom, hes my best friend.   
    
Lynne took the pen out of his hand, forcing him to look up. I dont care if he is your best friend. You are not to associate with him. Do I make myself clear?   
    
Perfectly, Justin answered. Can I have the pen back now?   
    
Lynne handed the pen back to him, still frowning. I cant believe that Diane and Jim dont see anything wrong with Lance being gay. she stood up, walking over to the counter. You know its wrong, dont you?   
    
Justin didnt look up at her. Of course. Im not **happy** that Lance is gay. his voice is almost a whisper. I just ignore it.   
    
You shouldnt be ignoring it. You should be trying to help him. Hes a sick person, Justin. A sick, disgusting person.   
    
Hmm...   
    
When I heard Phyllis talking to Jane Carter about Lances boyfriend at the basketball game last week, Lynne shuddered. It made me sick. You havent been exposed to him and his **boyfriend** , have you?   
    
No, Mom. Lance doesnt bring his boyfriend around. Phyllis didnt say his name did she?   
    
Lynne shook her head. There are people who can cure him if his parents would let them. He could get better.   
    
I dont think Lance wants to get better. I think he likes being gay. Its just who he is.   
    
It is not who he is. Its a choice, Justin and its the wrong choice.   
    
Okay Mom. I was thinking about possibly doing psychology. Thats pretty interesting.   
    
Lynne handed him the phone. Call the Bass and tell them that you wont be over for dinner.   
    
Justin took the phone, finally looking at his mother. I can call him later. We should finish this first.   
    
No. I think you should call them now. Its the **polite** thing to do.   
    
Justin dialed the number, shaking inside. She was worried about doing the polite thing after ordering him never to talk to Lance again.   
    
Hello?   
    
Hi, Mr. Bass. Can I talk to Lance?   
    
Justin, hey. Ill go get him.   
    
Justin could feel his mothers eyes on him as she stepped into his line of vision. Hey baby, Lance said warmly. Whats up?   
    
Hi, Lance, Justin said stiffly. I wanted to call to let you know that I cant come to dinner tonight.   
    
Lance reached for his teddy bear, pulling it onto his lap. Justins tone of voice was just...off. Why not?   
    
Im not allowed over your house anymore, Justin paused. And Im not allowed to spend time with you anymore.   
    
Please, please, please understand that I dont mean any of this, Justin pleaded in his head, his eyes still locked on his mothers.   
    
Oh, Lance said dispassionately. Okay. I guess Ill see you around then. Ill be at Joeys later if you want to tell me whats going on.   
    
Ill see you around, Justin said softly, finally breaking his mothers gaze.   
    
I love you, Lance said softly. Bye.   
    
Me too. Bye.   
    
Justin hung up the phone and handed it back to Lynne. Okay, so University of Georgia is offering me $4000, Justin said, looking back down at his notebook.   
  

* * *

I am never, **ever** telling her I am gay, Justin slammed Joeys bedroom door behind him.   
    
What happened? Joey asked, looking up from the video game he was playing. Lance was sitting on the ground next to him.   
    
Can I just please have a hug? Justin asked sitting next to Lance.   
    
Sure, baby. Lance wrapped his arms around Justin, holding him close.   
    
I didnt mean anything I said over the phone today, Justin said softly. You have to know that.   
    
I know, Lance looked over at Joey helplessly.   
    
I dont have to tell her. I can go my whole life without telling her that Im gay. She doesnt have to know about that part of my life. She doesnt have to know me.   
    
Okay, Lance rubbed his back gently. Thats fine.   
    
Justin pulled away from him, wiping his nose on his sleeve. She overheard Momma Fatone and Mrs. Carter talking about you being gay. Im not allowed to be your friend anymore.   
    
Oh baby, Lance pulled him into a hug again. What did she say to you?   
    
That youre sick and you need help. And I have to know how wrong that is. And I pretended that I was upset that you were gay and she made me call you. Oh god, Im so sorry.   
    
Its okay, Lance said soothingly, rubbing Justins back. You did what you had to do. Im not mad at you and I love you, baby. Everything is okay.   
    
No, its not. And its never going to be okay because my mother is never going to see me for who I am whether I tell her or not. This fucking sucks!   
    
Justin stood up, hugging himself and pacing around Joeys room. He growled and kicked Joeys bed.   
    
Hey, the bed didnt do anything to you. The beds always been really good to you. Joey said, trying to lighten the mood. Lance glared at him.   
    
I have to go for a walk. Ill be back later.   
    
Ill come with you, Lance said starting to stand up. Justin shook his head, reaching into Joeys nightstand drawer and grabbing a joint. Joey frowned.   
    
No. I have to go alone. I need to think for a bit.   
    
Lance sighed and sat back down. Well be here when youre done.   
    
Thank you, Justin said softly, leaning over to kiss him. I love you.   
    


* * *

Justin sat on the slide in the dark playground. It was empty and no one could see him from the street. With a sad sigh, he lit the joint he had taken from Joey. He was probably going to have to pay when he got back. When he inhaled, he realized that he grabbed Joeys homegrown stuff. 

Today had been terrible in general. There was very little that could make it worse. 

You shouldnt be smoking here. 

Justin grimaced. There was the one thing that would make the day worse. 

What are you doing here? 

Britney climbed off the jungle gym and walked over to where Justin was sitting on the slide. 

This is a public playground, she said to him. Im allowed to be here. 

You didnt have to talk to me. 

Britney put her hands on her hips and glared at him. Okay. Next time I see you light up a joint in public, I wont say anything to you about it. 

Fuck you. 

Britney was slightly taken aback by the curse leveled at her by Justin. Something was wrong with him tonight. 

You obviously had a good day judging by your language. Britney sat down on the swings next to him. 

Why are you still here? Justin looked over at her, really looking at her for the first time in what seemed like ages. Her now chin length hair was hidden by a bandanna; one of his actually. She looked tired and worn out. Her eyes were cold and dull. He barely recognized her as someone he used to love. 

Why should I leave? I was here first. 

Fine, Justin stood up, carefully putting the joint out and slipping it into his pocket. Ill leave. Youre one of the last people I want to see right now anyway. 

You know, Britney said softly. Im grounded. Shes going to do bed check soon and I dont even care. Ill be grounded again and it wont matter. Nothing matters. 

Justin chewed on his lip, fighting with himself. He wanted to dwell on his pain, on whats happening to him. And he wanted to hate her so badly. He watched as she lit a cigarette, the flash of the lighter in the darkness catching her blue eyes, making them sparkle briefly. 

Why are you grounded? 

Britney exhaled, looking up at him. My hair, she said simply before looking at the ground again. 

Justin frowned a little, sitting down on the swing next to her. She grounded you for that? 

Britney just nodded, flicking the ash from her cigarette. 

Justin reached up, pulling the bandanna off her head, revealing the short hair. He ran his hand over it, feeling her lean into the touch. 

Thats a stupid reason to ground you, Justin said softly, handing the bandanna back to her. I think it looks good. 

Britney balled up the bandanna in her hand, the cigarette hanging limply between her fingers as she looked at the ground. 

Well...thanks I guess. 

It **was** a compliment, Justin said, disgusted. Sorry for trying to make you feel better. 

You dont have to make me feel better anymore, Britney handed him the cigarette so she could put the bandanna back on. As a matter of fact, dont even try. I dont deserve it. 

Britney smoothed down the bandanna before taking the cigarette back from him. She laced her hands around the chains of the swing, pushing a little with her feet. 

Justin sighed softly, his hands holding tightly to the metal chains on his swing. 

Britney. 

She turned to look at him intently, her blue eyes meeting his, digging her toe into the ground to stop the swing. Justin leaned over and kissed her softly, pressing his lips against hers. 

Ill see you around, Bits. 

Bye Justy, Britney whispered as she watched him walk away from her, lifting the cigarette to her lips again and looking at her watch. 15 minutes until shell miss bed check. 

Good.   
  
---  
  
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	31. Chapter Thirty

Cmon Chris, Josh said with a sigh. Just go with it. I think they look nice.   
    
Chris stared at the curtains and shook his head. They dont go with the room, Josh. This is the last time I let you and Christina decorate.   
    
Theyre not **that** bad, Justin said. Im sure theyll grow on you.   
    
Lance touched the gauzy fabric and looked back over at them. At least they feel nice.   
    
Im not sure I want them to grow on me, Chris said crossing his arms. Theyre a little too gay for me.   
    
Too gay? Oh right, I forgot how much of a butch motherfucker you are. Josh snapped at him, walking out of the room.   
    
Chris frowned and looked over at Justin and Lance. You two couldnt go to Joeys today?   
    
Sorry, Justin said. Maybe we can go chill at AJs or something.   
    
Chris waved his hand. Youre here now. Just stay out of Joshs way. Hes in a bad mood today.   
    
Well go in the play room, Lance said, taking Justins hand. And well just hide. Sorry Chris.   
    
Chris just nodded, still looking at the curtains. 

Christopher! Get in here!   
    
Chris frowned and walked into the living room. Josh was sitting on the couch, angrily flipping channels on the TV.   
    
Yes Joshua? Chris asked, standing in the doorway, looking at him.   
    
I **like** the curtains.   
    
Chris sighed and walked over to the couch, standing in front of Josh. He took the remote from him and turned off the TV.   
    
This isnt about the curtains, is it?   
    
Dan quit today, Josh said softly. I lost one of my best technicians. Im sorry that I called Chrissy up and went shopping. I needed to do **something** to get my mind off work.   
    
Chris sat down next to him. So thats why the dining room has burgundy and cream gauze curtains on the windows now?   
    
Josh nodded. I have a meeting tomorrow with my supervisors. Without enough technicians, theres a possibility that our project will be shelved. Two **years** of work down the tubes. Tom, Kimberly, Megan, and I will be split up and put on other projects. Ive been fighting for this project almost since I got there.   
    
Oh hon, whatever happens, youll come out on top of it, Chris hugged him. Its not like your going to lose your job or anything.   
    
Josh looked at him. Its a very real possibility, Chris.   
    
Oh, Chris sat back, his arm still on Joshs shoulder. Well, whatever happens well get through it. Weve lived off my salary alone before. And Im making more then I was then too.   
    
We also didnt have two car payments and a mortgage payment each month.   
    
We also have savings now, Josh. Itll be fine.   
    
Josh wrapped his arms around Chris, burying his face in the other mans chest. Chris held him close, gently rubbing his back.   
    
Can we go take a nap? Josh asked him softly. Please? I really need to hold you right now.   
    
Chris bit his lip and sighed. Should I kick Justin and Lance out? Theyre in the play room. 

No. I dont really care if theyre in the house. They can answer the phone if it rings.   
    
Okay, Chris kissed him. You go upstairs and get naked. Ill be up in a few minutes.   
    
Josh nodded. Tell them Ill make dinner later but if theyre hungry to help themselves. 

Chris walked down the hall to the back room. It was affectionately called the play room because thats where the video games were and all of Taylor and Darlas toys were. Plus thats where Chris kept all his toy cars.   
    
Justin laughed and reached over to hit the buttons on Lances video game controller, making Lances car crash into the wall and burst into flames.   
    
Justin! You suck, Lance pouted.   
    
Yeah. Youve never complained about that before. Lance groaned and pushed Justin.   
    
Guys, Chris said from the doorway, interrupting them. They both turned to look at him.   
    
Josh and I are going to take a nap. You guys are more then welcome to stay. Josh said hes going to make dinner but if you get hungry, help yourselves. Um...phone. You can answer it or not answer it if you choose. If you do leave, just lock up.   
    
Chris paused, chewing on his lip a little. The guest bedroom is upstairs if you guys are tired or anything. Okay?   
    
Justin nodded. Thanks. I really appreciate this, Chris. I owe you so much.   
    
Dont worry about it, Chris turned to leave, stopping with his hand on the doorway, his back to them. Condoms and lube are in the hall closet.   
    
Chris left, walking down the hall and heading upstairs. He didnt want them to see how hard he was blushing at that.   
    
Justins jaw dropped and he looked over at Lance who had a similar expression on his face.   
    
Did he just...?   
    
Lance nodded slowly. I think he did.   
    
So we were just given permission to have sex in his house if we wanted to?   
    
Lance nodded again. Do you want to?   
    
No, Justin said slowly. That would be a little too weird. Do you think they are going to?   
    
What? Have sex now? Lance asked incredulously.   
    
Yeah. My mom and Paul say that all the time when they are going to go have sex.   
    
Joshs linen suit was crumpled on the ground proving to Chris just how upset he was. Chris stripped out of his clothes and climbed under the covers as well. Josh immediately wrapped his arms around Chris, holding him tightly. His legs tangled with Chris and his head rested comfortably on his shoulder.   
    
Youre not naked, Josh murmured into his neck. 

Neither are you, Chris answered, reaching down to slip his hand into the back of Joshs boxers, squeezing his ass gently.   
    
The kids are over. I couldnt bring myself to get naked.   
    
Chris chuckled. Neither could I. He pulled Josh up for a kiss, his hand still down Joshs boxers.   
    
Chris... Josh said softly as Chris finger gently toyed with his hole, pressing the tip in. Later, when they arent here.   
    
Okay, Chris slid his hand up to rest on the small of Joshs back. I actually **could** use a nap.   
    
Im worried, Chris. Josh whispered.   
    
I know. Everything **will** work out okay though. Trust me, love. Well get through this.   
    
Justin pulled Lance off the ground, wrapping his arms around Lances waist and kissing him softly.   
    
I have an idea, Justin smiled, gently stroking the back of Lances neck with his fingers. You can cook and I can follow directions really well, so what if we made them dinner? As a surprise. 

Lance kissed him again. Okay. Sounds good to me. Though the idea of going up to the guest bedroom and napping sounds good to me too. Rehearsal was exhausting today.   
    
I bet it was. Kevin drove down to torture me and Joey again today so Im pretty beat too. How about we nap after we make dinner?   
    
Deal, Lance grinned. 

Lance, if I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad at me? Justin held his hand tightly as they walked towards the kitchen.   
    
I think it really depends on what you are asking, but Ill do my best not to get mad.   
    
I mean...Ive known all the guys youve dated, Justin blushed. But I was wondering if youve...umm...exactly what have you done with a guy? Like sex-wise.   
    
Oh, Lance said softly.  **That** question. He opened up the refrigerator. How have we managed to not talk about this before now?   
    
I dunno, Justin said softly. You dont **have** to answer. I was just wondering.   
    
It looks like Josh has chicken thawing in here. How about just chicken and pasta? Lance asked, pulling the package of chicken breasts out of the refrigerator.   
    
Umm...okay. What should I do?   
    
Find spaghetti sauce for me, Lance said, opening the cabinets as he looked for baggies. Ive done more then Ive done with you so far. How graphic do you want me to get?   
    
Found it, Justin said, emerging from the pantry. And not graphic to the point where its a turn-on.   
    
Lance took the sauce and grinned. Hon, you get turned on when I wink at you.   
    
Well it **is** a sexy wink, Justin grinned back at him. I promise if youre turning me on, Ill let you know.   
    
Dropping to your knees and sucking me off in Josh and Chris kitchen isnt the way to let me know that you are turned on. 

Justin blushed and handed him a knife. Your parents werent home. And I seem to remember you enjoying it a lot.   
    
I did. But this isnt my home. So tell me using words if you are turned on or not.   
    
Umm...Im turned on already, Justin grinned, wrapping his arms around Lances waist.   
    
So do you want me to continue? And do I get to quiz you on what youve done with Britney when Im done?   
    
Justin rested his head on Lances shoulder as Lance opened the chicken up. If you really want to. I thought you knew everything I did with her.   
    
I actually dont really want to know more then I already know, Lance said softly. Its in the past. You arent with her anymore. Youre with me.   
    
Oh, Justin said softly, letting go of Lance.   
    
Justin, Lance washed his hands off and turned to look at Justin. The only person I was really extremely sexually active with was Vince. I never did more then kissing with Jake. We were both young. Danny and I stuck to blowjobs only. Tom was blowjobs only as well. Vince and I had anal sex a few times.   
    
Lance walked over to where Justin had sat on one of the stools. Lance reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly.   
    
Is that what you wanted to know, baby?   
    
Justin shrugged a little. I asked. 

Lance touched his cheek making Justin look at him. Thats not what you wanted to hear, was it?   
    
I asked, Justin said again. You were with Vince for a long time. Im not really surprised that you did **that** with him.   
    
I want to do that with you, Justin, Lance blushed. Eventually. I think thats really special and I only want to do it with someone Im in love with. I was in love with Vince, so we did that. Im madly in love with you but I want to wait until youre ready.   
    
Does it hurt?   
    
At first it does, Lance said honestly. But after a bit it feels good. Really good.   
    
Im not ready, Justins voice was barely a whisper.   
    
I know, Lance kissed him softly. Come help me with the chicken.   
    
The phone rang and Justin looked over at Lance. Should I answer it?   
    
Chris said we could.   
    
Justin picked up the phone. Hello. Mr. Kirkpatricks house. Lance winced a little but gave Justin a wink.   
    
Who is this?, a confused voice asked.   
    
My name is Justin. Who is this?   
    
Why are you answering my sons phone, Justin?   
    
Chris and Josh are taking a nap. They said I could answer the phone if it rang.   
    
Crap. I guess you were told not to wake them?   
    
Justin looked at Lance, a little confused. I can wake them up if you need me too, but Josh seemed upset earlier. Can I take a message instead? He still didnt know whos father he was talking to.   
    
Yeah. He can be a bear when hes really pissed off. Tell Josh to call his father as soon as he gets up. I might be able to pull a few strings and get him an interview with my company if they do end up firing him.   
    
Justin bit his lip hard. So thats why Josh was so upset. Ill tell him.   
    
Thanks. Bye.   
    
Justin hung up the phone. That was Joshs father. I think Josh might be getting fired.   
    
Lance looked over at him in surprise. Fired? Why?   
    
I dont know but that would explain why he was so pissed off earlier.   
    
Okay. I **really** feel bad about being here now.   
    
Me too, Justin toyed with the box of spaghetti. Do you think we should leave?   
    
I dont know. We at least have to finish making dinner since we started.   
    
Justin nodded, opening the cabinets looking for a pot.   
  

* * *

Chris yawned and nudged Josh gently. Get up, hon. Josh grumbled in his sleep and rolled over, burying his face in a pillow instead of Chris chest.   
    
If we dont wake up now, we arent going to be able to sleep when its time for bed.   
    
Ill make sure to tire you out, Josh yawned, turning his head and grinning a little at Chris.   
    
Chris swallowed thickly. Well in that case we still should get up to eat so we arent hungry.   
    
You **really** want to get out of bed quickly, Josh said, his hand slowly sliding up Chris thigh and playing with the edge of his boxers.   
    
Josh... Chris moaned as a warm hand pulled his erection out of the fly of his boxers. His protests died in his throat as Josh began to stroke him.   
    
Just a quickie, Chris. The kids **are** still here.   
    
Chris nodded. Okay, a quickie. I can do a quickie.   
    
Well not **too** quick, Josh moved to straddle Chris, still holding onto his erection, stroking it firmly.   
    
What kind of quickie? Chris asked as he held onto Joshs hips gently.   
    
A fuck me hard and leave me breathless quickie, Josh murmured kissing him softly.   
    
I can **definitely** do that, Chris grinned, rolling over and trapping Josh underneath him.   
    
Justin, Lance said softly, poking him in the side. 

What? Justin asked sleepily, lifting his head from Lances chest.   
    
They had finished dinner and decided to stick around, setting plates of food out and covering them up. Lance decided the best thing to do was nap and Justin hadnt protested at all. They had gone up to the guest bedroom to lie down.   
    
Do you hear that?   
    
Justin listened hard for a moment. Hear what?   
    
There was a audible moan and both Justin and Lance began to giggle. Was that Josh?   
    
I think so, Lance whispered. I cant believe were listening to them having sex.   
    
Hey, you listened first. And we **shouldnt** be listening to this, Lance.   
    
Then we should talk so we dont listen, Lance said running his fingers through Justins curls.   
    
When are you leaving for Mississippi again?   
    
Sunday morning. Ill be back the next Saturday. I wish you were coming with us.   
    
Justin smiled. I agree with your parents. Springing you being gay and introducing me to your grandparents as your boyfriend on their 50th anniversary probably isnt that great an idea. 

But Ill miss your cute ass, Lance grinned, smacking it lightly.   
    
I knew you only loved me for my ass, Justin joked back. Seriously though, you have fun. Spend some quality time with your sister if nothing else. You and Stacy havent gotten time alone together in a while.   
    
Its a shame Ford cant come with us, but Im glad that shes bringing Kylie with her. I love playing with her.   
    
Justin lifted his head. Was that the headboard against the wall?   
    
Stop listening, Lance admonished him. Hows the baseball workouts going?   
    
Thank god theyre over soon. Our actual practices arent nearly as tough as what Kevin puts us through. I cant wait until tryouts are done.   
    
Kevin loves to watch you guys sweat, Lance grinned. He likes to prove that even though all he does is dance now and not play sports that hes in better shape then you still.   
    
I believe it. I mean, I see you naked all the time and you dont play sports, but you dance constantly, Justin squirmed a little. And youre in amazing shape.   
    
I still dont have your abs, Lance sighed. Justin slid his hand under Lances shirt, rubbing his stomach.   
    
I like you the way you are. Your little tummy is adorable.   
    
Lance laughed. And that was **definitely** a headboard against a wall.   
  
---  
  
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	32. Chapter Thirty-One

Justin grinned as he flopped down on the grass next to Joey who was panting heavily. Cant keep up, Fatone? 

Joey shook his head. Fuck. I can get in shape for basketball no problem, but baseball is totally different. 

Yeah when we get ready for basketball, the insane taskmaster doesnt come back from college everyday to run us ragged. 

Kevin grinned at them from where he was running in place. You know you love every minute of this, Timberlake. 

Justin gave him the finger and Kevin just laughed. No thanks. Thats your department, not mine. 

Justin blushed and grinned. Kevin finally gave in and sat down next to them, stretching his legs out and sitting back. 

How is your boy? I havent seen him in a long time. Not since the party at AJs where you tried to kick Brians ass. Kevin grinned. 

Ive apologized for that, Justin blushed. And hes good. I miss him though. Hes in Mississippi for his grandparents 50th anniversary. 

How come you didnt go? Kevin pushed Joey lightly, trying to get him to sit back up. Youre gonna cramp if you curl up like that, Fatone. 

They dont know hes gay. His parents figured the 50th anniversary bash wasnt the time to spring that and his boyfriend on them. Hell be back on Saturday. 

Kevin nodded. Cool. You guys really have to come up and hang out more often. We miss all of yall. 

Dude, once tryouts are over, we are so over to party, Joey said, finally sitting up and stretching his body out. I just have to get through this. 

When are the drug tests? Kevin asked with a smirk, looking at Joey as he asked. 

Monday. Thank God, Joey breathed. I havent smoked in almost three weeks. Im going nuts. 

Soon, Fatone. Soon, Kevin patted his shoulder. Which reminds me, what do you have at the moment? Brian and I need a refill. 

Come over after this run and Ill show you the merchandise. Joey said, standing up. He hauled Justin up and the two of them waited expectantly for Kevin to stand up. 

Okay. One more time around the track, then well do some sprints. I know the big, tough basketball players can do a few measly sprints. 

Joey nodded. Lets see if the lazy dancer can do them. Kevin stood up and put his hands on his hips. 

Are you challenging me, Fatone? Cause I know I can kick your ass in sprints, in long runs, hell, in almost everything. 

Justin grinned as he watched them face off. Kevin turned to look at him. You judge this. I want to kick his ass. 

Justin nodded. You got it.   
    


* * *

Justin ran up the steps to his room, wiping the sweat off the back of his neck with his T-shirt. He couldnt wait to get in the shower. He looked at his watch. Lance was going to call in about 45 minutes and he wanted to be finished his shower by then. 

Justin stopped at his door, noticing it was ajar. His heart began to pound. He **knew** he left it shut this morning when he left. His mom never came up there anymore. 

Justin pushed the door open and walked inside. Lynne was sitting on his bed, holding a photograph in her hand. Justin froze. He didnt have to see the photo that she was holding. He knew which one it was. 

Hi, Mom. He said softly. 

Would you like to explain this to me? 

Justin shifted nervously on his feet. Explain what? Lynne threw the photo at him. Justin let it sit on the ground. 

Pick it up and tell me what you see. Her voice was harsh and Justin knelt down, picking the photo up gingerly, holding it between his thumb and index finger. 

He looked at it, though he already knew what it was. It was a picture that Christina had taken a few weeks earlier at AJs party. Lance was sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around Justins neck and they were kissing each other. He had taken the chance by keeping it in his room, but he had honestly thought he had hidden it well enough. Lynne really had to be digging around to find that. 

Well, umm...its me and Lance, he looked up at her. Kissing each other. 

Why are you kissing Lance? 

Justin stood up and walked over to the bed, kneeling in front of his mother. He put the picture on the bed and reached for her hands. Lynne pulled them away from him. 

Mom, I need to tell you something. Will you please listen to me? His eyes were pleading with hers, trying to implore some sense of reason. 

Are you...bisexual, Justin? She asked, her voice filled with disgust at the thought. 

Justin shook his head. No, Mom. Im not bisexual, he bit his lip and reached for her hands again. Im gay. 

Her hand met his face with sudden force, knocking him backwards. She knelt down and smacked him again, her hands trembling as she held him down. 

You are not gay. No son of mine will be that way. Lynne spit out, the venom tainting her normally cheerful voice. Justin cringed and opened his mouth to say something, but she hit him again before he could answer. 

He did this to you, didnt he? You can be cured of this disease, Justin. And Ill have Lance arrested, just tell me that you arent this way. This isnt your choice. 

Its not a choice, Mom, he whispered. Its just the way I am. Im gay. I cant change that. 

Lynne stood up, towering over him. Get out. Now. Her hand shook as she pointed to the door. I never want to see you again. You are not my son. 

Justin managed to scramble to his knees, reaching for her hands desperately. 

Please Mom. No. Dont say that, dont do this to me. I love you so much. 

She smacked his hands away, glaring down at him. Now. 

Justin let the tears flow, unable to hold them back any longer. He sobbed uncontrollably, unashamed at this point. He was cut open, raw, hurt. She had killed him and he didnt care if she saw him cry now. 

I will not stand here and watch you make a blubbering fool of yourself, Justin. Get out of my house and get out of my life. 

Her cold voice reached his ears through the loud din that had washed over him. He could hear himself sobbing and begging her to love him, to take him back. He could hear her voice cutting him deep, making him bleed. A hand met his already punished face, the pain a distant echo in his mind. All he heard were her words. You are not my son. 

I love you, he whispered. I love you. 

Now. Lynne said, pushing him not so gently with her foot, kicking him aside like yesterdays news, like he was nothing more then a piece of trash that had fallen on her floor. 

Where am I supposed to go? 

Thats not my problem. Youre an adult. Find someplace to go. Go to your **boyfriends** house. Let them take care of you. 

Justin nodded and struggled to stand up, picking up the picture and putting it in his pocket. He looked at his mother with his tear-stained face and reached for his sweatshirt. 

Thats not yours. Nothing in this room is yours. 

Justin let his hand drop to his side. Youre mine. Youre my mother. Nothing can change that. 

Lynne shook her head. I am not your mother anymore. Get out of my house and get out of my life, forever. 

Lynne stood with her hands on her hips until he turned and walked out of the room. 

Leave your keys by the door. 

Justin slowly walked down the steps, taking in all the sights before him. The pictures on the wall of him over the years. Justin reached up and took a picture off the wall. He slipped it under his arm and kept walking. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his house and car keys. He turned them over for a moment, slipping the key chain off of them and putting that back in his pocket. 

Justin stood at the front door and looked back up the steps. Lynne was standing there, with her arms crossed, waiting for him to leave. 

Bye Mom, he said softly. I love you.   
    
Justin slowly walked outside, standing on the front porch for a moment. He sighed and looked at the picture of himself, his mom, and Paul. He touched his mother's face one more time and stepped off the porch. He wandered over to Joey's, ambling slowly having no real clue where he was going. He just knew he couldn't go home. 

Justin walked up the back porch of Joey's house and walked inside, opening the door that was always unlocked. Janine was sitting at the kitchen table eating a salad. She looked up at him and smiled.   
    
"Joey and Kevin are upstairs." 

Justin nodded slowly and headed to the steps, watching himself lift each foot, walking slowly. He concentrated on his feet, lifting them and placing them carefully on the next step until there were no more steps. 

He lifted his hand and knocked on the door, each knock sounding hollow and far away to him. The door opened and Joey peeked out. "Oh it's only you, Justin. I thought it was Janine snooping around again." 

Justin handed him the picture of himself and Lance and walked inside, sitting on the bed, taking the picture of his family and sitting it next to him. 

Joey looked at the picture. His face paled and he walked over to him. "What does this mean?" Kevin stood up and looked at the picture, confusion crossing his face when he saw it. 

"She found it," Justin whispered. "She knows." 

"Oh shit," Joey said softly, wrapping his arms around Justin immediately. "What happened?" 

"I'm here." 

Joey looked up at Kevin. "Go find my mother, Kevin. Hurry. And call Chrissy." Joey rubbed his back, hugging him tightly. "What did she say? Please Justin." 

Justin shook his head, pressing his head into Joey's chest. "I have no place to go," he whispered. "I have nothing anymore." 

"Bullshit, Justin." Joey said. "You have us. We're not going anywhere." 

"What happened?" Phyllis Fatone rushed into the room, pulling Justin to her. "What did she do to you?" 

"Mom," Joey pried his mother's arms off Justin. "Lynne kicked him out," Phyllis gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "Because he's gay." Joey said softly, squeezing Justin's hand. 

"Oh god," Phyllis sighed. "I'm going to go call Joe. He'll know what to do." 

"Kevin's calling Chrissy now. She'll come over too." 

"Lance." Justin mumbled. 

Joey looked over at him. "What?" 

"Someone's gotta call Lance. Before he calls my house."   
    


* * *

Britney was curled up on the sofa, reading a magazine when the phone rang. She reached over for it and brushing a lock of  hair behind her ear. "Hello?" 

"Britney, I have to talk to your mother immediately." 

"Okay, Lynne. I'll get her." Britney jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen, holding the phone. Lynne's voice was cold, icy, angry. "Mom, Lynne's on the phone. She needs to talk to you." 

Britney handed her the phone and left the room, heading into the den to pick up the phone there. She lifted the receiver carefully, holding it away from her mouth. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping on this conversation, but somehow she knew this wasn't good news or   
just a hi how are you call. 

"Calm down, Lynne." Britney heard her mother say. "Just tell me what happened." 

"Justin is gay. He's dating Lance." Lynne spit out angrily. Britney had to surpress her gasp of fear. Lynne knew. Shit. She bit her lip and listened more. 

"Oh Lord have mercy on his soul. What did you do?" 

"I kicked him out of the house. I will not have a sinner living under my roof. And he refused to get help and disavow his relationship with Lance." 

Britney squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want this happening to Justin. As mad as she had been, and to some extent, still was, she never wanted him to lose his family because of who he loved. She had to do something, help somehow. 

"You did the right thing, Lynne. Would you like me to come over?" 

Britney heard enough. She hung up the phone when she heard her mother agree with Lynne's actions. She should have known. Her mother had been disgusted whenever Lance came into their home. Of course she was going to agree with Lynne's horrifying actions. 

"Mom, I'm going for a walk." She called out, pulling her sneakers on and lacing them as fast as she could. 

"Okay, sweetie. I'm going over to the Harless' for a bit. I'll talk to you when I get back." The false cheeriness made Britney nauseous. 

She shut the front door and took a deep breath. There were two people who could help. If they would listen to her, that is. Britney ran down the front steps and started running down the street.   
    


* * *

Chris straddled Josh, his knees on either side of Josh's legs. He leaned over with a smile, kissing him softly. Josh laughed and took Chris' glasses off. 

"Thanks for making dinner tonight," Josh said, kissing his neck softly. 

Chris moaned and ground his hips into Josh's. "You're welcome. I actually like cooking sometimes." 

Josh ran his fingers through Chris' hair, pulling him closer and kissing him harder, rougher, this time. Chris' hands were already between them, fumbling with the buttons on Josh's pants. 

The doorbell rang and Chris dropped his head to Josh's shoulder and groaned. "Do we ignore it?" Josh shook his head and gently nudged Chris to get up. 

Chris ran his hands through his hair once more, kissing him again before standing up and straightening his clothes. He picked up his glasses, looking down and untucking his shirt to hide the bulge in his pants. 

Chris opened the front door and his jaw dropped. Britney was standing on his front porch, out of breath and completely disheveled. 

"Ms. Spears?" 

Britney looked up and gulped. "I need your help." 

"You need my help? Excuse me if I don't see any real reason to help you, Ms. Spears." 

"Lynne found out." 

Chris froze with the door halfway shut. "She found out?" Britney nodded and Chris opened the door the rest of the way. He sighed heavily. "Come inside, Britney." 

He led her into the living room. Josh had buttoned himself up and was reading the newspaper at the moment. He looked up and his eyes widened. "What is **she** doing here? 

"According to Britney, Lynne found out. I assume she means that she found out that Justin is gay. Would you please tell us what you know, Britney?" 

"Lynne called my mom, because they are really close, and I listened in. Her tone of voice when she called was obviously bad. I'm not regretting listening in now, that's for sure, even though it's not a good thing to do and I know that." 

"Britney, just tell us what happened." Chris said firmly, but gently at the same time. The poor girl was actually shaking. 

"I heard her tell my mom that Justin is gay and dating Lance. And that she kicked him out because she wouldn't have a sinner living under her roof. My mom agreed with her." 

Josh was already moving, grabbing his shoes and tossing Chris' to him. "Where is he?" He asked tying them quickly. 

"I...I don't know. Probably Joey's." 

"Then let's go. You're taking us to Joey's," Josh said, grabbing his car keys and wallet. Both Chris and Britney were staring at him. "Let's go. Move. We have to be there." 

Chris smiled and gestured for Britney to follow Josh. He was glad that Josh was responding this way even though he didn't want this situation to be happening. This was the worst thing to happen even if somewhere, buried deep inside, most of the parties involved knew it was going to happen eventually.   
    
  
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	33. Chapter Thirty-Two

Dont touch anything besides the video game, understand? Christina said to Ben and Terri. They both nodded and she shut Joeys bedroom door behind her. 

Everyone was gathered in the living room. Kevin was still here and the rest of Joeys family had shown up as well. When Kevin had called, she had packed up the kids and headed over. Phyllis had Maggie at the moment. 

Justin hadnt actually let go of Joey yet, not even when Lance was talking to him over the phone. He had just listened as Joey held the phone to his ear. 

Here, Ill take her, Phyllis. Christina said reaching for Maggie. 

Shes fine, Chrissy, Phyllis said, cuddling the baby. 

I still say we go over there and demand that she give us Justins stuff, Steve grabbed another piece of bread. This is such bullshit anyway. 

Steven, Joe Sr. said lowly. Shut your mouth. 

Why, Dad? Steve asked. Arent you just a little pissed off at what she did to Justin? Hes like another brother to me and all were doing is sitting here and eating dinner. We should be trying to fix this. 

Fix what? Joey asked angrily. Do you want Justin to go back there and live in that house? What are we supposed to do? 

There was a knock on the door. 

Make yourself useful and get the door, Steven. Phyllis said angrily. 

Steve mumbled something under his breath about kicking some ass and cowards as he walked to the front door, opening it. 

Britney? Steve stared at her, his jaw hanging open. And Mr. Kirkpatrick? And some guy I dont know? 

Steven, Chris said to him. May we come inside? 

Steve paled a little. He and Chris never got along. Steve had him for Trig his senior year and they had butted heads a lot, to the point where Steve had transferred into another class. 

Uh yes sir, Steve sighed, falling into the role of student again. He stepped aside so they could walk in the room. 

Josh, this is the infamous Steven Fatone, Chris said with a halfway grin. Steve, this is my partner, Joshua. 

G...good to m...meet you? Steve lead them into the living room, Britney following almost reluctantly. 

JC, Christina said in surprise when they walked in. 

Justin looked up, catching Chris eye. 

Oh hon, Chris said softly before wrapping his arms around Justin and holding him tightly. 

Josh gave Christina a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down. 

Uh Josh, these are my parents, Joe and Phyllis. Josh is Mr. Kirkpatricks...umm...boyfriend. You guys remember Mr. Kirkpatrick, right? 

Phyllis nodded, bouncing Maggie a little. Its been a few years, but how can we forget him. I spent hours in his classroom, She leaned over and smacked Steve as she said that. 

Ow, Steve muttered, stepping out of his moms arm reach.

Pleasure to meet you, Josh said sitting forward and shaking Phyllis and Joes hands. I wish it was under better circumstances. 

So do we, Josh, Joe sighed, looking over at Justin and Chris. 

So what exactly happened? Josh asked. Britney didnt really know details. 

Britney?!? Joey looked over at the doorway seeming to know exactly where she was standing. 

Umm...hey. I...I thought Josh and Mr. Kirkpatrick should know, Britney gestured towards the door. Ill just leave now. 

Stay, Christina said, walking over to her. Britney shook her head. This isnt my place. I did my part. They needed to know and they know now. 

Seventeen years, Christina said to her softly. Dont let one mistake erase seventeen years. You reached out to help and were reaching back. At least I am. 

Britney looked down at Christinas outstretched hand, tentatively reaching out to take it, immediately being pulled into a tight hug for the first time in almost two months. 

As far as I can gather, Joey sighed, stroking Justins back as he talked, Chris arms still holding Justin close. Lynne found a picture of Justin and Lance kissing and confronted him. He told the truth and she kicked him out. Then he came here. 

He hasnt said anything, Kevin finally spoke up. But he hasnt said our conclusions are wrong either. 

Hello, Kevin, Chris said, raising his hand a little towards the young man. He had Kevin in his class his first year teaching when Kevin had been a sophomore and then again when Kevin had been a senior. 

Hi, Mr. Kirkpatrick, Kevin nodded back. 

Well, Joe spoke up, his deep voice calling the attention of the assembled group. He was a quiet man by nature and he demanded respect when he spoke. The first thing we are going to do is get Justins belongings from his room. She isnt leaving him with nothing. Hell stay here until we can find a permanent place for him. 

Thats not going to be easy, Dad, Joey sighed. Lynnes a scary woman when she needs to be. 

Who the fuck cares, Steve said. Theres a lot of us. Call up the other members of your little party and thats a lot of guys. Well have him moved out in no time flat. 

No, Justin said firmly, his voice carrying in the quiet room. No one is going to do that for me. Ill do it myself. 

Justin. Let us help, Kevin said softly. You cant do it alone. 

He wont, Britney spoke up. Ill go with him. Im the only one of you that Lynne probably doesnt see as lying to her. Im the closest thing she has to a daughter. We should use that. 

You would do that for me? Justin asked her softly. 

Britney nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Of course. I love you. Youre my Justy. 

A sob caught in Justins throat and he practically launched himself into Britneys arms, gripping her tightly and crying on her shoulder. Britney held him close, rubbing his back and crying as well. Christina stood up, tugging on Joeys hand. She motioned for everyone to leave, practically dragging Joey along behind her to give them a little privacy to cry together. 

* * *

His plane is getting in at 4:30? Joey asked, sighing softly. Justin was in his arms again, his head resting on Joeys chest as he just watched. 

Thats what Diane said, Phyllis yawned. I wrote the information down for you. Someone needs to go get him. 

I will, Kevin said, reaching for the paper. 

Kevin, you need to go back to school, Phyllis said, resting her hands on his shoulders. Someone else can get Lance. Steve or Janine can. 

Im not going back tonight, Phyllis. Let me pick up Lance. I feel useless here. 

Justin reached his hand out to Kevin, glad when Kevin reached back. He squeezed gently. Thank you. 

Kevin nodded, looking down at the ground. Im going to go call Bri and let him know that Im sticking around here tonight. Is it cool if I crash on the couch? 

Phyllis nodded. Of course. Ill leave some blankets out for you. Im going to go make sure Joe is asleep. He has to work tomorrow morning. 

I dont think Justin and I are going to be going to school tomorrow, Joey said, rubbing Justins back a little. 

I already assumed that. Try to get a little sleep before Lance gets here. Phyllis kissed all three of them on the cheek and headed upstairs. 

Joey exchanged glances with the two of them. So who needs a beer? 

Me. Please, Kevin said quickly, moving closer to Justin so he could hold him while Joey was up. Joey shifted Justin into Kevins arms and Justin buried his face in Kevins shoulder. 

Kevin ran his fingers through the soft curls, feeling Justins breath on his neck. Well figure something out, Justin, he said softly. You arent alone in this. 

Justin shook his head. I am. You guys are here, but Im still alone. I always will be. 

Kevin didnt say anything. He just held Justin a little tighter wishing that he could do something other then just hold him and offer useless words. 

Joey walked back into the room, holding three bottles of beer. All we have is Harp. Hope thats okay. 

Kevin took one from him gratefully. Justin just sat there, his head on Kevins shoulder. 

Here, Joey said, sitting next to him and letting Justin move so he was holding him again. Take the beer and drink it. 

Justins hand moved slowly and he took the beer, drinking it without really thinking about it. Joey just watched him knowing that Kevin was doing the same thing. 

And really, that was all they could do for him. 

* * *

Lance fidgeted as he looked around the terminal frantically. His backpack was slung over his shoulder and he was wearing rumpled clothing, his shoes untied. 

Lance, Kevin came up behind him, calling his name out.

Lance spun around looking at him, wild-eyed. Kev? His voice was confused, but he let Kevin lead him away. 

I was over at Joeys when it happened, Kevin said softly as they walked through the terminal. I cant bring myself to leave. Not that Im really doing anything other then sitting there and occasionally holding Justin when Joey needs to get up for some reason. 

Lance chewed on his lip. Is he that bad? 

Kevin stopped and his shoulders slumped a little before he looked over at Lance. Hes scaring me, Kevin sighed. Hes wrecked. I would bet money that hes still in Joeys bed with him, wide awake with his head on Joeys chest as Joey snores away. 

I should have been here, Lance mumbled, lifting a hand to his mouth and chewing on a fingernail. 

You didnt know it was going to happen. Youre here now. Thats the important thing. 

I just want to get back to him, Kevin, Lance looked at him pleadingly. I need to see him myself. 

And he needs you, Lance. 

* * *

Joey stood at the back door, leaning against the doorframe and watching as Justin sat on the back porch, staring at his house. Justin had woken him up while climbing out of bed and wordlessly, Joey followed him, only stopping when Justin sat on the last step. He retreated back into the house, watching him from the short distance. Joey yawned again, rubbing his bare arm a little to stay awake. 

Joseph? 

Dad, Joey said, turning to look at him. You should be in bed. You have to be up for work soon. 

Joe nodded, taking a bite of a sandwich. You should be in bed too. Want half? 

Joey looked back over at Justin once more before sitting down. Ham and cheese? 

Salami, Joe handed him half and they both ate in silence for a few minutes. I dont like this, Joey. 

Neither do I, He said softly, reading into his fathers few words a lot more, including his inherent homophobia and uncomfortableness with Justin and Lances relationship, both aspects that Joey knew were a part of himself as well, but he didnt let himself look at them. 

Joey took another large bite, watching his father finish his half of the sandwich. Joe took a long drink of milk, his face contemplative. 

Well make this better, he finally said, standing up. Clean up for me. Im going back to bed. 

Thanks Dad, Joey said, his voice filled with relief. Joe nodded as he walked out of the kitchen. 

Joey finished eating the sandwich standing at the door again and watching Justin. A cigarette was clutched between his fingertips, occasionally lifting it to his lips, the smoke trailing from his mouth. 

Joey sighed and cleaned up after his father, waiting until Justin was ready to come inside. Joey leaned up against the door again, just watching and not realizing that time was passing until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway startled him from his silent staring. He opened the back door. 

Justin. Lance is here. The only response he got was Justin lifting the cigarette to his lips again.

With a heavy sigh, Joey headed to the front door, letting Lance and Kevin inside just as Kevin was putting the key in the door. 

I thought you were sleeping, Kevin said to him, yawning and blinking to keep himself up. Lance was fidgeting on his feet, looking around him. 

I woke up when Justin got out of bed. Hes on the back porch, Lance. Joey grabbed Lances bag from him as Lance practically flew by. 

Lance opened the back door, walking out slowly. Justin didnt move except to stub out his cigarette on the porch step. 

Lance sat next to him, reaching over to take Justins hand. Justin blinked, looking down at the hand holding his, the familiar fingers, the ever-present silver ring on his index finger, the bitten nails. 

Youre here, he said softly, looking over at Lance. He reached up to touch Lances cheek. Youre really here, right? I havent fallen asleep on the Fatones back porch have I? Im not just dreaming you now? 

Lance shook his head. Im here, Justin. 

Justin wrapped his arms around Lance, clutching him desperately. She knows. Its over. Everything is over. 

Lance rubbed his back, rocking him gently. Its not over. Its just different now. And youll survive. I know you will. 

How? 

Because you have so many people who love you, Lance lifted Justins head to look him in the eye. Because you have me and I wont let you give up on yourself. 

Make it go away, Justin whispered. 

I cant, baby, Lance said honestly. 

Justin pushed him away, getting up and walking away. Then what good are you? He shouted. I just want someone, ANYONE, to make it better, to make it all go away! 

Justin picked up a rock, throwing it with terrifying accuracy at his back door. I hate this! Theres nothing wrong with me, Mom! Nothing! Do you hear me, you bitch? I am NORMAL! 

Lance wrapped his arms around Justin from behind, holding him as he continued to scream, obscenities he never uttered spilling from his mouth, begging her forgiveness, for her love, and then in the next breath cursing her again. 

Kevin and Joey watched from the back porch, neither of them moving. There was nothing they could do. 

Lights came on in the Agulerias house. Christina was watching from her window, her face visible. Her parents were watching from the next window over. The bedroom lights at the Fatones came on. 

But the one house, the one light that he wanted to come on, stayed dark, the house dormant. 

And she ignored his screams and pleading. 

Again.   
  
---  
  
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	34. Chapter Thirty-Three

We already played that one, Josh mumbled as Chris held up Mortal Kombat. 

Chris collapsed on the ground next to him. Weve played every video game we own. 

Josh lifted himself up on one elbow. I guess that means we have to talk about it now. 

We have the Barbie make-over game Taylor left here, Chris said with a sigh. 

We played it at after Madden football. Remember, you gave your Barbie purple hair and green eye shadow, Josh rested his head on Chris chest, holding him close. We need to talk about this, Chris. 

Chris sighed and began to stroke Joshs hair as he stared at the ceiling. 

Your job? 

Still in limbo. 

My job? 

Unknown factor. 

Our lives? 

Josh stopped on that and lifted his head to look at Chris. They would change. A lot. 

Are you willing to do this? 

Yes, Josh said softly, lying his head on Chris chest again. 

So am I.   
    


* * *

Kevins breath came out in hard, panting gasps being forcibly pushed out with each exhalation. He slowed considerably, finally stopping, bent over, his hands on his knees. 

Justin! He called out, willing the other man to stop. 

Justin slowed down and turned to look at him. Were not stopping yet. 

Break. Please, Kevin panted, motioning for Justin to come back. Justin ran back to Kevin, his own face covered in a sheen of sweat. 

Youve been holding out on me in practice, Kevin grinned wryly at him. You never run this hard. 

Thats because Joey cant, Justin put his hand on Kevins shoulder. Please. I need this. I asked you to come with me because I knew you could keep up. 

Kevin nodded, straightening up. Okay. Lets go.   
    


* * *

The tall man knocked on the door loudly, a small suitcase resting by his feet. The door opened and Joey's eyes widened. "Mr. Timberlake." He said nervously. He hadn't seen Justin's father in years. 

"Hello, Joe. Where's my son at?" 

Joey gestured towards the ceiling. "Uh...upstairs...in my bedroom. I'll take you to him." He swallowed, knowing that Lance was upstairs with him. He had no way of warning the two of them that Justin's father was there. He didn't see Steve standing on the landing looking down. He hurried to Joey's room, opening the door. 

"Justin." Steve said urgently. 

Justin looked up, Lance's arms wrapped around his waist from behind. 

"Let go of him for now, Lance. Just let go of him." Steve could hear the footsteps getting closer. 

Lance unwrapped his arms from Justin's waist and moved off the bed. 

"Why? What's going on, Steve?" 

Before Steve could answer, the door opened again and Justin's face paled. "Dad." He said softly. 

Randall put his suitcase down and looked at Justin for a moment, noting the pale skin, the tearstained face, the red eyes. When Lynne had called him yesterday, she had sounded so cold and angry. He had caught the first flight to Orlando to see his son. To see if what she had said was true. 

"Oh, Justin," he said softly, walking over to his son. "I'm so sorry she did that to you." Justin looked at his father for a moment, totally thrown off balance already. His father looked upset and hurt, but not angry. 

Randall hugged his son tightly, holding him close. "I love you, Justin. No matter what. Justin heard his father's words and clutched him tighter. "You're my son and I will always be your father, no matter what happens." 

Justin felt his father move away so he could look at him. "Dad...I'm...I'm gay." He whispered. 

Randall looked around the room, seeing Joey, Lance, and Steve still there. "Can I talk to my son alone, please?" 

Joey grabbed Lance and pulled him out of the room. Steve shut the door behind them. 

"I don't want to leave him." Lance hissed, struggling against Joey. 

"I don't care. He needs to talk to his father alone." 

Lance slumped slightly. "But what if he hurts him too. I need to be there." 

Randall grabbed the tissues that were on Joey's nightstand. "I know you're gay, Justin. Your mother told me when she called yesterday." 

"Are you going to disown me too?" Justin asked bitterly. 

Randall took his son's face in his hands. "Never. I can't say that I'm all that thrilled to hear that you are gay, but how I feel doesn't really matter. You are who you are and I'm going to love you no matter what." 

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Wh...what?" 

"You will always be a part of our family. Lisa, Jonathon, Steven and I will always be your family," he paused, looking at the door. "And Lance will always be welcome in our home as well." 

"She told you about him as well?" 

Randall nodded. "She called him a lot of mean things too. For a woman who hates all cursing, she knows a hell of a lot. And uses them too." 

"I'm sorry." Justin whispered. 

"For what? For being honest about your feelings? I'm not mad at you at all. I'm pretty much ready to kill your mother and Paul, but I won't." 

"I thought you would hate me too." 

Randall sighed heavily. "I'm sorry you thought that. I guess I've never been pretty open about my feelings regarding certain areas of life. I knew about Lance even though your mother didn't. I still thought he was a great kid. Though I will have to have a long talk with him if he's going to be dating my son now." 

Justin managed a weak smile. "He's been dating me since the middle of January." 

"January? Oh lord. Can you go get him for me?" Randall said with a smile. "I need to talk to him alone." 

Justin hugged his father again. "Thank you so much, Dad. I love you." 

Randall hugged him back. "I love you too, Justin." 

Justin stood up and opened the bedroom door. Lance, Joey, and Steve were standing there looking guilty. 

"We weren't listening, honest." Steve said quickly. 

Justin just smiled and hugged Lance tightly. "He's okay with it. He still loves me." 

"Oh Justin," Lance said softly, wrapping him in his arms. "I'm so glad." 

Justin kissed his neck before pulling away. "He wants to talk to you though. Since you're dating me and all now." 

Lance groaned softly and started to the door, holding Justin's hand. 

"Nope. Alone." Justin said with a smile, letting him go. 

Lance, Randall stood up when Lance walked in, shutting the door behind him. Its been too long. Youve grown up so much since I saw you last. 

It has been about five years, Lance said feeling very uncomfortable in front of his boyfriends father. 

Randall nodded, patting the bed. Lets talk, Lance. I think we need to get some stuff out in the open. 

Lance sat down on the bed, Randall sitting next to him. 

Ive never given this talk before, Randall said softly. I never got the chance when Justin started dating Britney. I was already gone and the two of them getting together was never a surprise. You, Lance, are a surprise. 

Lance shifted on the bed, his nervousness growing worse. Just because Randall accepted Justin being gay didnt mean he would accept Lance as Justins boyfriend. 

I cant say Im thrilled that Justin is dating you, but I love my son. If you make him happy, thats all that matters, Randall paused. So I guess what Im saying is...welcome to the family, Lance. 

Lances head shot up, his eyes open wide in surprise. 

Randall laughed. Dont look too shocked. You still have to answer to me. You better treat my son well. Hes my oldest and I dont want to see him hurt, Randall bit his lip. Well hurt more then his mother already hurt him. 

Lance nodded, looking down at his hands. I wish I had been here when it happened, Lance said. I was in Mississippi at my grandparents. 

When did you get back? 

4:30 this morning. My parents got me on the first flight back they could get. Joeys been here since it happened. He hasnt left Justins side. 

Im glad my son has such good friends, he smiled. Im glad hes got you. I wish I had picked up on it earlier though. You would think I would have caught it when Brit and I changed to Lance and I when we talked on the phone. 

You didnt have any reason to think anything was going on. 

Randall nodded, reaching over to hug Lance for a moment. Any clue whether Phyllis has anything made? Im starving. 

Lance grinned. There is _always_ food in the Fatones fridge.   
    
  

* * *

Mr. Kirkpatrick? 

Chris looked up from his desk, slightly startled by the interruption. Christina was standing in the doorway, her blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and huge circles under her eyes. He knew the reason why and the circles were mirrored under his own eyes. 

Christina, he said softly. How are you? 

Christina walked into the classroom, shutting the door behind her quickly. She walked over to his desk, almost fidgeting as she stood there. 

Can we talk? Please? 

Of course, he nodded, pulling a chair over for her to sit in. Whats wrong, Chrissy? 

Im scared, she whispered, her hands twisting in her lap. I know that I shouldnt be scared but I am. I dont know whats going to happen and I dont like feeling this out of control. I am always in control and I cant do anything to help in this situation. 

Chris reached over and took one of her hands in his own, forcing her to look at him. 

You are doing the only thing you can do, Chrissy. You are supporting him and trying to keep everyone else calm. 

Christina shook her head. Its not enough. I cant fix whats happening here. I cant take Justin in. I already asked. Joeys parents cant take him in either. Hes going to end up having to move to Tennessee with his father, provided his father doesnt flip out which is a whole other story. God, I dont know what to say anymore. What do I do? 

Go home and take a nap. Did you get any sleep last night? 

Did you? 

Chris shook his head. No. Josh and I both sat up all night playing video games and smoking cigarettes. He called out of work today and went to his grandparents house for a bit. 

I didnt want to come to school today, Christina said softly, playing with a GI Joe on Chris desk. But I couldnt stay at Joeys any longer. 

Are you going back after school? 

She nodded, marching the toy soldier across the desk. Chris picked up another GI Joe and began to play with it as well. 

Can I get a lift to Joeys? Chris asked her softly. Josh has my car because his sister needed his. 

Christina nodded. I rode in with AJ this morning. Theres room in his car. 

Thanks.   
    


* * *

Hes asleep finally, Lance said softly, shutting the bedroom door behind him. 

Joey nodded, yawning himself. Lets go make some more coffee. Ill see if Mr. Timberlake wants any. 

Is he back from the Harless yet? 

I dont know. I guess well find out. Have you seen Kevin? 

Passed out in Janines room. The run this morning killed him. Well wake him later.   
    


* * *

Their eyes had been locked for almost five minutes now. She didnt move unless it was to blink slowly. 

I cant believe you accept this, Lynne said softly. What happened to you? 

I grew up, Lynne. I cant let old fears hold me back any longer. This is our son you are hurting. This isnt some faceless so-called enemy of society. Justin is your flesh and blood. Doesnt that mean anything to you? 

He may still be your son, Randall, but hes not mine. 

Randall just stared at her in disbelief. He stood up slowly, shaking a little. I will be back for Justins belongings. 

Those arent his. 

That wasnt up for discussion, Randall sighed. I paid for everything he has. Those are his possessions. I will be back. 

And I will not let you in. 

Randall shook his head. You are a sad, bitter woman, Lynne. I cant imagine what I once saw in you all those years ago. 

The feeling is mutual. Get out of my house. 

Gladly. 

With loud, angry strides, he walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him before heading over to the Fatones again. Joey and Lance were in the kitchen drinking coffee when he walked into the house. 

Can I get you a cup, Mr. Timberlake? Joey asked, standing up. 

For Gods sake. At least call me Randall, he sighed, resting his head on the table. And I could use something a little stronger then coffee if you have it. 

I can toss some whiskey in there for you. 

Randall gave him a thumbs up. Wheres Justin?   
    
Sleeping finally, Lance yawned, taking another sip of his coffee. 

Have either of you slept yet?   
    
I got about two hours last night, Joey said, putting the whiskey-laced coffee in front of Randall. And Lance got about an hour when Justin went out for a run with Kevin.   
    
Go take a nap. Is your mother home, Joey? 

Shes in her studio. 

Randall stood up, picking up his cup of coffee. Still in the attic?   
    
Joey nodded.   
    
Both of you go to sleep, Randall said again as he walked out of the room.   
    
Joey looked over at Lance. Sleep? 

Lance nodded, yawning. I think thats a pretty good idea.   
    
Go join him, Joey said. Ill crash in Janines room with Kevin. He cant be taking up the whole bed yet.   
    
Dont count on it, Lance sighed. Remember when we used to go to camp? Kevin and I were in the same bunk. I couldnt even get into mine half the time because he slept so sprawled out.   
    
So thats when you learned to sleep pretty much anywhere, Joey grinned at him, squeezing his shoulder firmly.   
  

* * *

Randall knocked on the attic door, remembering from years ago when he and Phyllis had been close friends that she didnt like people just walking into her studio. Even her kids learned to knock on that door early on.   
    
Come in, She called out, smiling at him as he walked in. Hi, Randy.   
    
Phyllis stood up from the potters wheel, wiping her hands off.   
    
Dont stop on my account.   
    
Phyllis smiled again and sat back down, working the clay again. We havent done this in years.   
    
Ive been gone a long time, Randall cleared off a stool and sat down, watching her. What do I do now, Phyllis?   
    
With Justin? Randall nodded. I suppose you take him back to Tennessee now. Is there much of a choice?   
    
I guess not, Randall sighed. I just hate to pull him out of school and move him to Tennessee at the end of his senior year. Its not fair to do that to him. All his friends are here. Lance is here.   
    
I dont know what I would have done, Phyllis said softly. If it had been Joey who is gay.   
    
I didnt know what I was going to do until I walked into Joeys bedroom, Randall said honestly. It just happened.   
    
Did you mean it?   
    
About loving him and accepting this part of him? Yeah, I meant every word of it. And I was honest with him about the fact that I wasnt happy about him being gay. It actually hurts me a lot.   
    
Phyllis turned the wheel on, the soft sound of the motor filling the room. Randall closed his eyes to listen to it, the smells and sounds sending him back in time.   
    
Why does it hurt you?   
    
Did I do something wrong? Is it my fault hes this way? If I had been around his whole life, would things be different? If Lynne and I had stayed together, maybe he would still be straight.   
    
He never was straight, Phyllis said. I hate to break it to you, but Justins been gay his whole life. He just never knew it.   
    
How many times did Diane have to tell you that before you realized she was right?   
    
Phyllis smiled and used a small knife to trim off the top of the pot she was working on. 

Diane is very adamant that Lance is entirely normal and there is nothing wrong with him being gay. I believe her when she says that hes always been that way. Lance just accepted it earlier then Justin did.   
    
I wish he wasnt gay, Randall said softly. And I hate that I feel that way.   
    
I wish that Joey wasnt having sex with Christina, but I cant change that just like you cant change Justin being gay.   
    
Do you think he and Lance are... Randall trailed off, gesturing a little with his hands.   
    
Phyllis coughed a little, her face turning a little red as she nodded. I think its a fairly safe bet.   
    
Randall grimaced and shook his head. Now that idea bothers me. He shouldnt be having sex. Hes just a kid. They both are just kids.   
    
You did know that he and Britney were having sex, right?   
    
 I assumed so. That didnt really bother me. Thats normal. 

Phyllis turned the wheel off, spritzing the clay with water before wrapping it in a plastic bag. She wiped her hands off before walking over to Randall.   
    
Forgive me for sounding like Diane for a moment, but Justin and Lance having sex is normal as well. They love each other very much and its natural that they express it physically.   
    
Randall took her hands in his own, feeling the dry, soft skin that she always had because of the clay. He squeezed them a little.   
    
Just promise me that you will let me call you up to talk about this with you. I need a friend.   
    
Phyllis smiled and squeezed his hands back. Always.   
    
  

* * *

Can I borrow your phone, AJ? Chris asked, leaning forward to shout into AJs ear. The music was up really loud.   
    
What? 

Turn the music down, fool. Nick said, reaching over and turning the music down himself.   
    
Now what is it you were asking, Mr. Kirkpatrick? Nick asked, turning to look at him, attempting to be as polite as possible. Both he and AJ had been a little surprised when Christina had shown up at the car with Mr. Kirkpatrick in tow.   
    
I wanted to know if I could borrow AJs phone to make a phone call.   
    
Oh sure, AJ said, leaning forward to grab the phone which was in his bag under Nicks feet.   
    
Watch the road! Nick shouted, pushing him back up as the car swerved. Ill get the phone.   
    
Christina laughed at them a little. AJs just a tad bit stupid sometimes.   
    
I heard that. Dont make me talk about that summer at Grammys.   
    
Christina scowled and hit him in the back of the head. Just drive.   
    
Here Mr. Kirkpatrick, Nick handed him the orange and green phone.   
    
 How about we make a deal, Chris sighed. When were outside of school, call me Chris or at least Mr. K?   
    
Umm... Nick looked over at AJ who just shrugged. Okay, Mr. K.   
    
Chris nodded, dialing the phone. Thats better.   
    
Hello?   
    
Hi Gram, its Chris.   
    
Christopher! How are you, dear?   
    
Im okay, Gram. Is your grandson still around?   
    
Joshua is out back with his grandfather smoking a cigarette. I swear, neither of them will give up that nasty habit.   
    
Chris rolled his eyes at Christina, who just giggled a little. I know. Ive tried to get Josh to quit. Can you put him on the phone for me?   
    
Hold on one second, dear. You must come to dinner soon. We miss seeing you and Joshua.   
    
Okay. Well come to dinner soon. I promise. Can you get Josh?   
    
Sure, Chris heard her put the phone down.   
    
Its like pulling teeth with her, He said, looking over at Christina. She talks forever.   
    
My grandmom is the same way.   
    
Chris, Josh said, picking up the phone. Whats up?   
    
Hey baby, Chris smiled into the phone, just happy to hear his voice. AJ and Nick kind of looked at each other in the front seat. Nick leaned forward and turned up the music a little more.   
    
Christina leaned closer to the phone. Hi, JC! She shouted.   
    
Josh laughed. Tell Chrissy I said hi and what the hell are you listening to?   
    
Josh says hi, Chris said, his hand covering the mouthpiece. And he wants to know what were listening to.   
    
ICP, AJ said. Good stuff.   
    
Sure, AJ, Chris said, making a face at Christina. Apparently we are listening to ICP. I was wondering if you could head over to Joeys in a bit.   
    
No problem. Do you need me to pick you up from school?   
    
No. I caught a ride with Christinas cousin. Were heading over to Joeys. Hence the loud music and the cell phone.   
    
Its going to take me a little bit to extricate myself from Gram, but Ill probably get out of here in about a half hour. Ill see you soon.   
    
Okay. Tell Gram and Gramps I said hi. I love you.   
    
Love you too, Chris.   
    
Chris hung up the phone and handed it back to Nick. Thanks, AJ. I appreciate it.   
    
No problem...Chris, AJ said, turning to look at him. Can I ask a question?   
    
As long as you ask it while watching the road, sure.   
    
 AJ turned to look at the road. Is Josh your boyfriend?   
    
Yes.   
    
Okay, cool, AJ smiled at him in the rearview mirror. Is he hot?   
    
AJ! Christina and Nick shouted at the same time, both of them smacking him as well.   
    
Ow, AJ jumped. It was just a question. Chris is kind of cute for a teacher and all. I figured his boyfriend was hot. God, you didnt need to hit me.   
    
Chris peeked through his fingers and looked over at Christina. Ask her if hes hot. Im not objective on the matter.   
    
Hes cute. Now lets drop this.   
    
Please, Chris said quickly.   
  
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	35. Chapter Thirty-Four

Phyllis was cooking. That much was obvious as soon as they walked through the front door. 

Momma, Christina said with a smile hugging Phyllis tightly. Her smile dropped off her face when she saw the man sitting at the kitchen table. Mr. Timberlake? 

My God, Christina? I barely recognize you, Randall stood up hugging the shocked girl. 

AJ and Nick had stopped in the doorway with Chris behind them. Chris tried to peek over their shoulders and see. 

Who is it? Chris whispered. 

Justins father, AJ whispered back, his voice filled with dread. 

Oh shit. 

Nick turned in shock at hearing Chris curse but AJ poked him in the side. 

"Its...uh...good to see you too, Mr. Timberlake. Christina shot a look at Phyllis which just made Phyllis laugh. 

Its okay, he knows. Why else would he be here? 

Very poorly timed surprise visit? Christina suggested, joking weakly. 

No, Randall said, sitting down again. I can assure you this is a purposeful visit though a surprise to both Justin and myself. 

Phyllis looked towards the doorway where AJ, Nick, and Chris were huddled. Come here, boys, she smiled. I baked cookies earlier. 

Ooh, AJ said excitedly. The chocolate chip and oatmeal ones? 

Phyllis laughed. Of course, Alex. I know what kind of cookies my kids like, She took Chris arm, patting it gently with her hand. What can I get you, Chris? Randy and I have been drinking some **fantastic** coffee Joey made earlier, she winked at him. My son makes **strong** coffee. 

I think I will have a cup, Chris smiled back at her. Its been a long day. 

Can I have some, Momma? AJ asked jokingly. 

Giving you coffee is like asking for trouble. Just get yourself and Nicky some milk. 

Christina slipped out of the kitchen, heading upstairs. She pushed open Joeys bedroom door, seeing Lance and Justin sleeping in each others arms. She shut the door and walked down to the next room, Janines, and found Kevin and Joey in bed. 

Christina chewed on her lip for a moment before walking in the room. Kevin was lying on his side facing the door and Joey was on the other side of the bed, sleeping on his stomach. She curled up next to him, wrapping his arm around her. He shifted on the bed, pulling her close to him in his sleep. 

You okay, Joey whispered in her ear, resting his hand gently on her stomach. 

No, Christina snuggled closer to him. Can you just hold me? 

Of course. 

So youre Mr. Kirkpatrick, Randall said to Chris as they both stood on the back porch sipping their coffee. Phyllis had banished them from the kitchen to talk. 

Call me Chris please. Chris said, extending his hand to Randall. 

Justin really looks up to you, Randall said shaking Chris hand firmly. He talks about you a lot. Can I ask you a quick question first so were on both on the same page? 

Chris just nodded, waiting. 

Josh isnt your roommate is he? 

Chris winced and looked at the coffee. Is that what he told you we were? 

Randall nodded, looking at the back of the Agulerias house. The dog was being chased by Ben at the moment, barking wildly. 

You guys arent though, Randall said softly. Youre together. Like Justin and Lance are. 

Yeah we are. Chris didnt know what else to say so he just drank his coffee, enjoying the taste of the whiskey in it. 

Thank you, Randall said sincerely. I really mean that. Thank you for being there for him. 

Hes my friend, Chris looked over at Justins father. I care about him. 

Is... Randall sighed, looking down at his coffee. Is he happy? 

With Lance? 

Randall nodded. 

Hes very happy with Lance. I dont think he is really happy or comfortable about being gay though. 

Hes dating another boy. That seems pretty comfortable with it to me. Or am I just being naïve about that? 

Justin is comfortable with Lance. Hes his best friend. Theyve known each other for years. And Lance is completely comfortable with his sexuality. Justin couldnt ask for a better first boyfriend then Lance. Hes not going to push him to do anything Justin doesnt want to do. He knows all the background behind pretty much all of Justins hang-ups. Justins friends are his friends and vice versa. That makes it easy for him to be in a gay relationship. 

But that doesnt mean hes comfortable being gay. Randall finished for him. 

Chris nodded. It goes against everything Justin was told in his life. Just because he knows hes gay and at this point, pretty much everyone else does too, it doesnt mean that hes comfortable with it. Do you understand? 

Not really, Randall said honestly. But Ill try. 

You really should talk to Justin about this. said Chris softly, gently urging Randall on with his voice. 

Would it sound totally heartless of me to say that Im not ready to talk to him about this? 

Chris shook his head. As long as you are honest with him about it, I think Justin will understand. 

This goes against a lot of the beliefs I have, Randall whispered. It scares me that I can understand at least a little where shes coming from. 

Chris put his coffee down and tentatively touched Randalls shoulder, hoping that he doesnt pull away from him. 

You are doing the right thing though, Chris said softly. By wanting to know about it, by asking questions. 

Can **you** answer some questions for me? Randall looked over at him. I would really appreciate it. 

Chris chewed on his lip for a moment. Sure. Why dont we sit down then. 

Randall let Chris lead him over to the steps, sitting down next to him. Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. 

I stole them from AJ earlier, Chris said offering one to Randall. I hate Newports. 

Me too. Randall agreed, taking one and lighting it from the lighter Chris offered as well. He coughed and took a drink of his coffee. 

What did you want to talk about? Chris asked him, chewing a little on the inside of his cheek. 

Randall rubbed the palm of his hand against his knee. What do I do now? 

Chris exhaled, looking over at Randall. How do you mean? 

I have to move on with my life now knowing that my oldest son is gay and knowing that hes always going to be gay no matter what I think And...just what do I do now, Chris? 

Do you accept Justin being gay as something you cant change? 

Randall nodded, his eyes locked on the ground. 

Then all you can do is learn to live with it. You love him. That much is obvious or you wouldnt be asking me these questions. And thats really what you need to do. You have to want to ask him questions. I know that Justin is willing to answer your questions. 

Really? 

Chris nodded. Really. Youre his father. Of course he wants you to understand whats happening in his life now. 

I hate that I have to take him away from here now, Randall said, watching the cigarette burn away. I just can't think of any other way though. 

Its so hard to change schools, Chris said, looking over at Justins house. Josh and I have a spare room. he said almost casually like it was a part of normal conversation. 

Randall looked over at him in surprise. Youre joking, right? 

Chris shook his head, stubbing out his cigarette. I wouldnt joke about Justins life. 

I want to meet Josh. Randall said to him, stubbing out his cigarette as well. 

Hell be here soon. 

Randall nodded. I really hope youre serious because this might be a good solution. 

Oh Im serious, Chris said, holding the pack of cigarettes out to Randall again. Want another? 

A weak smile spread across Randalls face and he took another, accepting the light from Chris. 

Ill even smoke it this time. AJ **did** pay good money for these.   
    


* * *

Lance felt the annoying and very persistent poking even in his sleep. With a quiet groan, he opened one eyes and saw Justins face inches from his own. 

Youre awake, Justin said happily, pretending that he hadnt just spent the last five minutes poking Lance to wake him up. 

Not yet, Lance mumbled. Should I be? 

Justin slid on top of Lance, ducking his head to suck on Lances neck, biting gently as his hands caressed the soft flesh under the T-shirt Lance had on. 

Justin? What are you doing? 

 Justin lifted his head for a moment to look Lance in the eye. Foreplay, He said before resuming his previous activities. 

Lance pushed on Justins chest, trying to sit up but only succeeding to push Justin down so he was sitting on Lances crotch, which he proceeded to squirm on with a smile. 

Why? Lance asked in disbelief. 

Justins face fell and his chin quivered. You dont want me? 

Lance heard warning bells go off in the back of his head when Justin said that. Uh oh. He pulled Justin down, wrapping his arms tightly around him. 

"Oh Justin, he said softly. I **always** want you. 

So can I go down on you? asked Justin, his voice small and tearful, his hand slipping under Lances T-shirt again. 

Why do you want to go down on me right now in Joeys bed with a ton of people downstairs who might just walk in on us? 

Justin buried his head in Lances shoulder, his hand moving slowly over the sensitive skin on Lances stomach. 

I need to feel close to you right now. 

Lance reached down and pulled Justins hand off his stomach, lacing their fingers together tightly. There are other ways to feel close to someone other then having sex, sweetie. 

Justin didnt say anything for a moment. Then Lance felt a shudder go through Justins body and heard a soft sob. 

Oh baby, Lance kissed the top of his head, hugging him close. Itll be okay. 

I jus...I want to be alone with you. Justin whispered into Lances chest. 

Okay. Well stay at my house tonight, just you and me and we can be completely alone together. 

Promise? Justin asked, lifting his head to look at Lance. 

Brushing gentle fingertips against Justins cheeks to wipe away the tears, Lance nodded. 

I promise.   
    


* * *

Britney wound her short hair around her finger tightly as she waited for the door to open. 

Britney? 

Hi, Britney smiled warmly. Can I come in, Lynne? 

Now really isnt a great time. Lynne opened the door anyway, letting Britney inside. 

I know, Britney said, hugging Lynne. Want to talk? 

Lynne looked at her skeptically for a moment. Why? 

I kind of miss getting to talk to you about stuff. I mean, since Justin and I broke up, I **never** get to see you anymore. 

Why did you and Justin break up? Lynne asked wandering almost aimlessly towards the living room. 

Because Justins gay. And because it was time. 

Lynne bristled at that. You should have kept dating him. You could have helped cure him. He would have a reason for wanting a cure if he had you instead of Lance. 

Lynne, Justin didnt want me. And I **am** strong enough to get out of a relationship that I know is bad for me. 

Are you saying that dating my son... Lynne paused. Dating Justin Timberlake was harmful to you? 

Yes, dating **your** son was bad for me. Neither of us got to really grow and learn in that relationship. We didnt have to. We knew everything about each other, Britney sighed briefly. Well almost everything about each other. I needed to learn about me, Lynne. And I couldnt do that with Justin. 

Have you learned? Lynnes voice was cold and it was obvious that she was almost ready to throw Britney out. 

Ive learned a little but not much, Britney admitted. Ive basically spent the last two months trying to stay mad at two of my best friends for a stupid reason. I mean...they fell in love. What right do I have to get pissed off? 

Plenty of right, Lynne stood up. Did you have a reason for coming over today? 

Yes actually I did. Justin has my English book. I need that. Can I go into his room and get it? 

I suppose. You know where his room is. 

Britney nodded and skipped up the steps quickly. Jeff was waiting outside on the roof. All she had to do was get Justin some clean clothes and his schoolbooks and pass them out to Jeff. She can do this easily.   
    
    


* * *

    
You didnt have to do this. Justin said softly when Britney presented him with the clean clothes and his schoolbooks. 

Got you something else too. Britney smiled, reaching behind her back and pulling out Justins stuffed dog. 

Justin sniffled a little but reached out for him, hugging the dog to his chest. 

Thank you, he managed a smile. How did you get into my room? 

I knocked on the door and had a chat with your mom before I went upstairs to get my English book that you borrowed. Then all I did was hand stuff out to Jeff who was sitting on your roof with a bag. 

But... Justin looked confused. I didnt borrow your English book. 

I know, hon, Britney smiled. It was just something I said to get into your room. Trust me. Clean underwear is a good thing. 

Thank you. Justin mumbled softly, still hugging his stuffed dog. 

Britney put her arm around Justins shoulder, resting her forehead against his, looking into Justins blue eyes with her own blue ones.   
    
Youre my Justy, right? 

Justin nodded, sniffling a little. 

Let me take care of you then, Britney reached up and wiped a tear away from Justins cheek. Please. 

Justin closed his eyes, feeling tears track down his cheeks against his will. Britneys arms tightened around him and he buried his face in her shoulder, smelling her familiar perfume and remembering all the times before she had held him in her arms. 

Do you remember the time we kicked Joey out of his room? Britney asked him softly, running her fingers through Justins curls gently. 

When he thought we were going to have sex in his bed? 

Britney laughed softly. Yeah and really all we wanted was a chance to play video games without Joey bothering us. 

Justin lifted his head and looked at her. I missed you. 

I missed you too. Britney kissed his forehead softly and hugged him again. 

Oh, Lance stopped in the doorway, a little surprised to see his boyfriend wrapped around his ex-girlfriend like that. I...umm...sorry. Ill leave you two alone. 

Lance wait, Britney said, holding her hand out to him. Cmere. 

Lance reluctantly took her hand, letting Britney pull him onto the bed with her and Justin.   
Britney squeezed Lances hand, reaching up to touch his cheek softly. Her fingers brushed along his lower lip, the one that had been split a few months before because of her words. 

Im sorry for what I did to you, Britney stared into Lances eyes when she talked. Im sorry for what I did to both of you. I was stupid and childish and so, SO wrong. I just want you guys to be happy. 

Thank you. said Lance softly. 

Britney took Lances hand that she was holding and put it in Justins hand. 

You two talk and kiss for a bit, okay, Britney smiled. Im gonna go tease Jeff about his new haircut. 

Actually, Lance cleared his throat. I came up to get Justin because his dad wanted to talk to him. So...I guess Ill come make fun of Jeffs new haircut with you. 

Britney grinned. He looks like a tool. 

Justin managed a smile. When doesnt Jeff look like a tool?   
    
  
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	36. Chapter Thirty-Five

Justin lit a cigarette, his hand shaking nervously as he looked at his father. Hed never smoked in front of him before but Randall didnt seem upset. Of course there was a faint smell of cigarette smoke clinging to Randall at the moment so Justin wasnt **too** worried that he was going to get yelled at. 

Did you sleep well, Justin? asked Randall, sitting on the porch, his back against the wall of the house and his knees bent with his elbows resting on them. 

Yeah, Justin rested his head on his knee as he looked at his father. I always sleep better when Lance is there. 

I can understand that, Randall nodded, not even flinching when Justin said he was sleeping with Lance. I hate sleeping away from Lisa. 

Dad? 

Yeah, Justin? 

Justin watched his cigarette burn for a moment before he looked back at his father. 

Im going to have to leave, arent I? 

Randall chewed on his lip for a moment. Well, actually. Thats what I wanted to talk to you about, Justin. 

Whats there to talk about? I have no place to live here, said Justin softly. Im going to be moving to Tennessee. 

Maybe, Randall sighed. Tell me how comfortable you are with Chris and Josh. 

Well both of them have been really good to me and Lance. I trust Chris with pretty much anything, Justin flicked the ash on his cigarette. Why? 

I talked to Chris for a bit while you were sleeping and then when Josh got here, the three of us talked for a while. What if I told you that you didnt have to come to back to Tennessee with me? 

Justin looked at his father carefully. Can you just cut it with the crap and tell me what youre trying to say? I cant really deal with the beating around the bush stuff right now. 

Randall raised an eyebrow but let that comment pass. Chris and Josh offered to take you in. They have an extra room and they are more then willing to take care of you so you dont have to leave at the end of your senior year. 

Justin let out a short, angry laugh. Right. They want to take in the little gay kid whos mom doesnt want him. Lets just get my stuff back so I can pack and we can figure out when we leave. 

Im being dead serious with you, Justin. This is a chance to stay here. To stay with Lance. 

I dont want to leave Lance, Justin said softly, reaching down and picking at the wood of the porch with his fingernail. 

Then think about this option, Justin. If you trust Chris and Josh and you are comfortable with them... Randall trailed off for a moment. I think its your best option really. Its better then coming home with me and being miserable. 

You dont want me? Justin looked back over at him, his chin quivering. 

Thats not what Im saying at **all** , Justin, Randall patted the spot next to him, waiting until Justin scooted over to sit there before he started talking again. I just want you to be happy and I think you would be happier if you were here then at home with me. God, I would love for you to live with me. Its what Ive been wanting for years but I know that right now at this point in your life, its not the best thing for **you**. 

Really? Justin asked softly, resting his head on his fathers shoulder. 

Really, Randall put his arm around Justin and kissed the top of his head. I think the four of us should talk about it. 

What if it doesnt work out? 

Then you come home, Randall replied. Its that easy. If you arent happy, Ill come back and get you. 

  
    


* * *

    
Shup, Jeff pouted, smacking Britneys hand away. I liked it before you started making fun of me. 

Britney grinned and nudged Lance. Look. We can make him cry soon. 

Bah, Jeff pouted even more, crossing his arms and looking over at AJ for help. 

Sorry, man, AJ shrugged. You look like a tool. 

Fine, Jeff threw his arms up and dropped his head to the table. I look like a tool. Thanks. 

No problem, Britney grinned. Damn Ive missed you guys. 

You havent left me alone enough for me to miss you, Jeff sighed. Youre a pain in the ass, Brit. 

But you love me, Britney poked Jeff in the side, resting her head on his shoulder. 

Jeff sighed and threw his arm around her. Youre right. I do. 

Wheres Joey at? Lance spoke up, looking around the den. Nick was playing on the computer in the corner. AJ, Lance, Jeff, and Britney were all sitting around the small table picking at the cookies Phyllis had made. 

Dunno, AJ shrugged. I guess Chrissys with him where ever they are. 

Is Kev still here? I mean, his car is still here, Nick asked, turning to look at them for a moment. 

Oh, Lance said, standing up. I know where Joey and Chrissy are. Kevins probably with them. I guess they never woke up from their nap. 

Theyre all napping together now? Lucky Chrissy, AJ smirked, reaching for another cookie. 

Britney groaned and smacked him. You are such a pig sometimes. 

I may be a pig but I didnt freak out because my ex-boyfriend is gay. Course if I had an ex-boyfriend I would have known he was gay, AJ smiled, chuckling a little to himself. 

Thanks, AJ, Britney pouted, resting her chin on her hands. I was a complete bitch and I know it, alright. Lets not bring it up anymore. 

Lets not, Lance said. Its in the past now. Im going to go see if theyre awake. 

AJ watched Lance leave before looking back at Britney. I think Im gonna get my labret pierced. 

Your mom must be so proud. Jeff sighed. 

 Hey, AJ pointed a finger at him. At least I dont look like a tool.   
    
  

* * *

  
Justin sat down next to his father on the couch in the Fatones living room. Josh and Chris were sitting on the opposite couch. Josh had his arm resting on the back of the couch behind Chris shoulders, his fingers just barely touching the side of Chris neck. Justin couldnt help but take a peek at his father to see how he was reacting to that. Randall was just talking to them like normal. 

She wasnt exactly in the best mood when I spoke to her earlier, Randall said. She told me that I wasnt going to be allowed back in her home to get his stuff. 

Britney got me some things, Justin mumbled, picking at a hole in the knee of Joeys jeans. 

How did Britney get into your house? Chris asked him, a little surprised by that. 

Justin shrugged. She told Lynne that I borrowed her English book and she needed it back. Then she just handed stuff to Jeff who was outside on the roof. 

Oh, Josh said, looking over at Chris. That was pretty slick. 

Brits good at stuff like that, said Justin softly. She can manipulate people pretty well when she needs to. 

Justin... Chris trailed off. 

I dont really want to talk about her, okay, Justin pulled his knee to his chest. Lets just talk. 

Well, Randall sighed softly. What should we talk about? 

Justin frowned. Okay you three are the adults, he said sullenly. Why am I the one starting this conversation? 

I dont really know what you want us to say, Justin, Josh said, looking over at him. 

Dont beat around the bush with me. I cant take it right now. 

I know your father talked to you about our offer, Josh sat forward when he talked. Do you want to hear it from us? 

Yes, Justin said softly, plucking at the hole in the jeans again. 

Justin, Chris started. We have an extra room. Would you like to come live with us instead of moving to Tennessee? Wed love to have you. 

No, Justin sighed. Not especially. 

Oh, Chris looked over at Josh, a little confused. Randall had told them that Justin agreed. 

Justin, Randall sighed. 

Sorry, Justin looked down at the floor. I dont really want to move in with you but I dont want to move to Tennessee either. I dont want to leave my friends. I **really** dont want to leave Lance. 

So in a roundabout way thats a yes? asked Josh. 

I know I sound completely ungrateful right now. Im not. Honest, Justin shut his eyes. 

Is it a yes, Justin? Chris asked him gently. 

Why do you guys want to do this? 

Chris looked over at Josh, wanting him to answer that. Josh squeezed Chris hand. 

Well... Josh paused, thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. Youre our friend, Justin. I think it really just comes down to that. Neither of us want to see you hurt anymore then you already are. Going with your father would hurt you more. 

So its pity, Justin frowned. Thats...great. 

Justin, Randall said firmly. The three of us are **not** your enemy. We just want to help you. 

Fine, Justin muttered. Fuck. Can I go get Lance? Please? 

Why does Lance need to be here? Randall sighed. 

Because I want him here, Justin stood up. I think thats a good enough reason. 

Go get him then, Justin, Josh said quietly. Chris opened his mouth but Josh silenced him with a shake of his head. 

Justin left the room quickly. Why did you tell him to go get Lance? asked Chris. I doubt having Lance here will make this easier. 

Because Justin was going to get him whether we want him to or not. Its better to give him permission to do something. 

Hes right, Chris, Randall sighed. Lance is the only reason hes agreeing to do this. Lets be honest with ourselves here. 

I dont think its the **only** reason, Chris sighed. 

I think its the only reason hes thinking about at the moment, Josh reached for Chris hand, squeezing it gently. 

Justin could hear his friends laughing as he walked towards the den. The sounds died when they saw him standing in the doorway. 

Justin cleared his throat. Umm...Lance? Can you come here? 

Immediately Lance lifted Christinas legs and headed over to Justin, tangling their fingers together. 

Whats up? asked Lance as Justin led him down the hall slowly, reluctantly almost. 

I need a hug, Justin whispered, stopping and burying his face in Lances neck. 

Lance wrapped his arms around Justin, hugging him tightly, feeling the tight grip of Justins arms around his waist. 

Hey, Lance said softly, stroking the back of Justins neck. Whatevers going on, its going to be okay. I promise. 

Im staying here, whispered Justin. 

Lance squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to smile or shout happily no matter how much he wanted to. The despair in Justins voice was not calling for that. 

Thats **good** news, baby, right? 

I dont know, Justin sighed. I feel like Im not wanted anywhere. My mom doesnt want me. My dad doesnt want me. And I know Chris and Josh are just offering out of pity. They dont **really** want me to live with them. 

Wait, Lance pulled back a little to look at him. Chris and Josh? Thats where youre living? 

Yeah, Justin nodded miserably. They feel sorry for me. 

Okay, I seriously doubt they are offering just because they feel sorry for you, Lance said, cupping Justins chin in his hand. Thats not how Chris and Josh are and you know it. Justin, this is a good offer. 

Why? 

Im going to be totally selfish and say its good because it keeps you here with me, Lance said softly. 

Thats why I said yes, Justin sighed, resting his head on Lances shoulder. I dont want to leave you. 

I love you, Lance held him close. 

I love you too, Justin whispered back. I need to go back to the living room. I want you with me. 

Do you think thats a good idea? 

Yes, Justin said, pulling away from him. I need you to be there with me. Please? 

Okay, Lance said simply, letting Justin lead him into the living room. 

Hi Lance, Josh said, smiling at him. 

Hey, Lance said nervously, sitting down next to Justin, still holding his hand. 

So... Justin looked down at his hand holding onto Lances. I think I can talk more about this now. Without getting so angry. 

Im glad, Randall said. Because we want to figure out the best solution for you, Justin. And its going to be easier if youll talk to us about it. 

I still wish there was some other way, Justin sighed. I feel like Im going to be in the way. I dont want to be a nuisance and no matter how you try and tell me that Im not, Im going to feel that way. Do you understand? 

Were not going to try and make you feel differently, Justin, said Josh. We are going to make you feel welcome though but its impossible for us to change the way you feel. 

Justin nodded. So...yes. 

Chris sighed happily, smiling at Josh. This is the right choice, Justin. I know it is. 

Yeah, Justin laughed bitterly. Im glad one of us knows.   
  
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	37. Chapter Thirty-Six

Maybe... Jeff trailed off, looking at the room. What if we put the bed over there? 

I dont know, Nick frowned, stepping over a box. Do you think it will fit? 

No moving the furniture, Justin said as he carried in another box. Itll all fit. 

Im stuck, Joey called out from behind the dresser. Help me! 

Great, Justin sighed, handing the box to Jeff. Dont move, Joey. Ill get you out of there. 

Justin tripped over another box, pin wheeling his arms to keep from falling as he grabbed onto the bed. 

Okay. New plan, Justin sighed, sitting on the bed and looking at Jeff and Nick in the doorway and Joey stuck behind the dresser. Lets get the boxes out of the room and put them in the hallway. 

Can we get me out first? Joey asked, pressing on the dresser with his shoulder. Whats in front of this thing? 

The desk, Justin said, tugging on the desk and moving it enough so Joey could get out from behind the dresser. 

God Justin, Britney said, pushing a box aside with her foot. I never knew you had this much shit. 

Neither did I, Justin sighed, sitting down on the bed. Course, Ive never tried to move it all out of my room before either. 

Lance appeared in the doorway, holding a box in his arms. He handed it to Nick and went to sit with Justin on the bed, wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing his neck. 

Weve almost got everything out of the cars. Time to start organizing? 

Justin nodded, leaning back against him, thankful that Lance was there. Josh and Chris were downstairs staying out of the way for now while the guys moved everything in. Josh was a little uncomfortable in front of all of Chris students like this so he preferred to stay out of the way for the moment. Randall had flown back to Tennessee this morning after ordering Lynne to let Justin get his stuff. Lynne agreed for the sheer fact that it meant she didnt have to see it anymore. 

Where should we start? Britney asked, kneeling down and looking at a box for a moment before opening it. This looks like...video games and papers. 

I guess....umm...computer and desk stuff. Justin sighed softly, standing up reluctantly. 

We can do that, Nick said quickly, grabbing Jeffs arm and pulling him towards the desk. Dude, grab the thingy. 

You mean the monitor? Jeff rolled his eyes.   
    


* * *

Justin walked downstairs carrying a box he couldnt find a place for in the already crowded bedroom. Everyone else was gone, except Britney, and she was upstairs putting away clothes. Lance had to go pick up his parents, Stacey, and Kylie. Ford was called into work so he had to do it despite his reluctance. 

I have to pay bills tonight, Josh said from the kitchen. Toss me that washcloth. 

My check comes on Friday, Chris said, banging into something and cursing softly before finishing what he was saying. Do we need to float them until then or are we okay? 

Were okay right now, Josh said his voice getting softer. Justin could hear him walking down the steps to the basement. We were under budget last month so we have a little extra. 

Justin leaned against the wall holding the box against his hip. He heard the phone ring and Chris talking quietly. 

Josh, Chris called down the steps. Mom wants us to come over for dinner sometime this week. 

What night? 

She said its up to us, Justin heard Chris bang into something else, cursing as he probably hopped onto the counter. 

Find out what nights best for Justin. Jesus, Chris. What did you get on your yellow shirt? 

Pudding. Sorry. 

Justin smiled at that. They were so cute together. 

You are **so** on laundry duty next week, Kirkpatrick. 

Yeah, yeah, Chris laughed. Okay Mom. Ill call you later. Give my love to the girls and tell Taylor that she left her Barbie game here. 

Justin shifted the box again before walking into the kitchen. Chris was sitting on the counter with his hand in the cookie jar. 

Oh hey, Chris said, taking a bite of a chocolate chip cookie. How goes the unpacking? 

Its going, Justin said softly. Britneys putting away my clothes. 

Chris hopped off the counter and gestured towards the box. Need someplace to put that? 

Justin nodded, shifting the box again. Its just some old books and papers and stuff. Its not really anything I need anytime soon. 

Chris grinned and took the box from him. We have a special spot for stuff just like that. Cmon. I can show you where the washing machine and dryer are as well. Not that Josh will let anyone touch it but you should know anyway. 

I heard that, Josh called up the steps. What is on your khakis, Chris? 

Pen leaked, Chris gestured for Justin to follow him down the steps. Can you get it out? 

Josh sighed, looking up. Hey Justin, he looked back down at the pants, scrubbing at them. You have got to try and clean accidents like these when they happens, Chris. 

I couldnt exactly take my pants off in class, Chris rolled his eyes. And I forgot by the time I got home. 

Chris... Josh sighed, shaking his head. Nevermind. Whats the point in telling you again. You never listen. 

How about we not do this now? Chris suggested. Come on, Justin. The junk area is over here. Note the tendency for boxes in this corner. 

And old toys **someone** wont get rid of. Josh muttered loud enough for them to hear. 

Chris rolled his eyes again but gave Justin a big smile. You can just put it over here and whenever you need it, you can come down and get it. Is there enough room for your computer or do you want to put it downstairs with ours? 

Theres enough room, Justin said, setting the box down on top of one labeled Sega. Jeff and Nick got it set up on the desk. 

Well thats good. Chris grinned again, walking over to Josh and wrapping his arms around him and kissing his cheek for a second. Josh smiled and turned his head to kiss Chris lips. 

What do you want for dinner? Josh asked, looking at Justin. 

Can we have pizza? Please, please, please? Chris asked excitedly. 

Chris, I was asking Justin. Josh elbowed him lightly in the stomach, trying to make him let go of him. That just made Chris hold on tighter. 

Whatever you want is fine with me. Justin said softly, looking down at his scuffed sneakers. 

I can make pizza. Josh said, nudging Chris again to make him let go. Chris finally did, smacking Joshs ass lightly. 

Cool. Chicken? 

Yeah. Ill make it with chicken. Josh rolled his eyes, finally satisfied enough with the khakis to throw them in with the rest of the laundry. 

Can Britney stay? Justin asked softly, still looking at his feet. 

Josh and Chris looked at each other for a moment. If Britney wants to stay for dinner, Josh said, pouring detergent into the washing machine. She is welcome to stay. 

Thanks. Justin said, starting towards the steps again. Chris and Josh just watched as he ran upstairs.   
    


* * *

I finished with the clothes. Britney said, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear again. 

Thanks. Justin said softly, sitting down on the bed, reaching for the pillow and holding it to his chest. 

She sat down next to him, putting a hand on Justins shoulder and looking around the room. 

Its a nice room, Britney started, resting her chin over Justins shoulder. Once everything is unpacked and put away itll be just fine. 

Its not my home though. Justin sighed, looking at the bare cream walls and the maroon carpet, the pale curtains fluttering in the breeze coming in through the open window. 

You can make it your home, Britney began to run her fingers through Justins curls. Its your choice. 

Josh and Chris arent my parents. 

Having parents doesnt make a place a home. Trust me, Britneys voice was soft. Having people who care about you makes a place a home. Josh and Chris care about you and they want you to be a part of their lives. 

Justin let go of the pillow and laid back, looking at the ceiling. Britney laid next to him, turning on her side so she could look at Justin, propping her head up on her fist. 

Remember when we were six and we all ran away? Justin asked, looking over at her. 

Britney laughed a little. We hid behind the abandoned supermarket until Joey had to pee and he made us go home because he didnt want to pee outside. 

He used to be such a wimp when he was a kid, Justin smiled wistfully. He and Chrissy acted like they were married even then. 

Britney nodded, remembering Christina, tiny even then, trying to convince Joey that it was okay to pee outside. No monsters were going to get him like Steve said they were. 

I was grounded for a week, Justin shook his head. Dad was so mad at me for worrying them. Mom just cried, kissed my cheeks and told me never to leave her again. 

My mom didnt notice I was gone, Britney sighed. Dad picked me up when I got home and held me on his lap as we sat out back. He was working on a bottle of scotch and smoking a cigar like usual. He told me I was his little girl and he loved me. He promised to take care of me and he asked that I never run away again. I promised him I would always stay with him. 

You should go to college, Justin looked at her, looked at the pain that clouded her blue eyes. It was mirrored in his own except that Britneys pain had been there her whole life. She didnt know any different. Get away from your mom. 

Britney shook her head. Im not ready for college but I am getting away from her. Denise offered me a job and the apartment over her salon. Shes going to train me after I graduate. 

Have you told your mom yet? 

Hell no, Britney reached over, tugging on a long curl. You think I would do anything to make my life worse then it is at the moment? 

No I guess not, Justin leaned over and kissed her nose. So will you cut my hair once Denise trains you? 

If you really want me to, Britney said, playing with his curls again. You know that we would have broken up anyway, right? Even if you werent gay? 

You think so? 

Britney nodded. I know so. I wouldnt have stayed with you after high school. 

Okay, Justin shrugged a little. Its really a moot point now. 

Britney rolled over so she was on her back, looking at the ceiling as well. I should go home. 

Josh and Chris said you could stay for dinner. 

I cant, Britney sat up, resting her hands on her thighs. She doesnt know Im here and if I stay for dinner thatll be pushing it a little too far. 

Oh okay, Justin said, sitting up as well. Ill walk you out. 

Britney hugged him tightly. Youll be fine, Justin. 

Justin hugged her back, sighing softly. Thanks for helping me today. I really appreciate it.   
    
Dont worry about it, Britney smiled, letting Justin go and standing up. Ill let myself out. See you later, hon. 

Bye. Justin said softly, looking down at his hands as Britney shut the door behind her, leaving Justin alone for the first time all day. He chewed on his lip, reaching for his stuffed dog and burying his face into the familiar stuffed animal to cry again.   
    


* * *

Josh knocked softly on Justins door, waiting until he heard a soft come in before opening the door. Justin was sitting on his bed in his pajamas, looking out the open curtains at the night sky. He was smoking a cigarette, ashing in a small cup. 

Hey sweetie, Josh said, walking over to him. Mind if I sit? 

Its your bed. Justin said dully, gesturing at it. He held up the cigarettes, offering one to Josh. 

No. Its **your** bed, Josh said, taking the offered cigarette. Thank you. 

I guess I should have asked if it was okay if I smoked in here or not before doing it. Justin said softly, looking down at the glowing tip of his cigarette. 

You can do it in your room. The rest of the house is pretty much off limits. Chris doesnt really like the house smelling like cigarette smoke, Josh said, lighting the cigarette, grimacing a little. What is it with you guys and Newports? Dont you know that menthols are bad for your health? 

They taste good, Justin shrugged. What do you usually smoke? 

Camels, Josh said, looking over at him. You didnt really eat much dinner. Do you want something else? I can make you anything you want. 

Justin shook his head, dropping the finished cigarette in the cup, listening to it hiss as it hit the water. 

Im not really hungry. Thanks though, Justin handed the cup to Josh so he could ash in it. The pizza was really good. 

Its something easy that Chris really likes. Sometimes I just hate trying to figure out what to make for dinner every night so I just turn to pizza. 

Do you always cook? Or does Chris do it too? 

Its usually me, Josh said, flicking the cigarette against the side of the cup. Weve fallen into a lot of patterns over the years. Chris is helpless and forgets to make himself food or do the laundry unless someone reminds him. Before me, he always had Danielle doing it for him and before that, his mother. 

Does that bother you? 

Josh looked over at Justin and shook his head. No. Its just how Chris and I are. I take care of him so he doesnt hurt himself or go around wearing dirty clothes. 

So youre his wife? 

Josh stiffened at that, dropping the cigarette in the cup as well and putting it on the bedside table. 

Im not Chris wife and I dont really appreciate you calling me that, Justin. Do you think Lance would like it if you called him your wife? 

Lance and I are different, Justin said. Were not like that. 

Lance makes you food and makes sure you are okay. He reminds you of what you have to do during the day and makes sure you get everything done. He dotes on you, Justin, just like I dote on Chris. 

Justin didnt say anything, just pulling his dog onto his lap and playing with its worn ears. Josh sighed softly and put an arm around Justins shoulder. 

Are you trying to make me angry at you, Justin? 

Justin shrugged and rested his head on Joshs shoulder. Maybe a little. Im sorry. 

Josh squeezed Justins shoulders, reaching for his hand with his free hand, squeezing that as well. 

If you want to make me angry, go ahead. If you need to make someone else angry besides yourself, Im your man. 

Justin looked at him sadly. I think Im going to go to bed. 

Josh nodded, putting his arms around Justin and hugging him tightly. I wake Chris up at 6. When should I make sure you are up by? 

I can get myself up, Justin said, leaning over and setting his alarm for 6:15. Thank you though. 

Okay, Josh stood up. Ill make sure you are out of bed anyway. 

Justin watched him leave, turning the light off and lighting another cigarette as he returned to staring out the window.   
  
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	38. Chapter Thirty-Seven

Justin stared ahead dully as he lifted his spoon to his mouth, eating his cereal slowly. He was still in what he had slept in, dressed only in pajama bottoms and a bandanna. He scratched his head absentmindedly and took another bite of cereal. 

Morning, Justin, Josh walked in, heading right over to the coffee pot and turning it on. He was already fully dressed and ready to go for the day. He leaned up against the counter, yawning. I hate mornings. 

Justin just nodded a little, starting to feel self-conscious that he didnt have a shirt on. 

Did you sleep well? 

Justin nodded, chewing on a mouthful of cereal. 

Do you talk in the morning? 

Justin shook his head. 

Do you drink coffee?   
    
Justin nodded. 

Well thats something. Does that help? 

Justin shrugged. 

Josh poured himself a cup, taking a long drink of it with his eyes closed. He sighed softly and opened his eyes, reaching for two more mugs. He poured one for Justin, setting it in front of him. 

How do you drink your coffee? Josh thought he had him there. Justin would have to talk to answer that. He sighed when Justin picked up the mug and began to drink the coffee black. 

Josh took out the cream and poured it in the other mug, adding a bunch of sugar to it. He poured coffee into the mug. 

Chris likes his with lots of cream and lots of sugar. I hate giving him that much sugar along with caffeine in the morning, but its what he likes. 

Josh put the cream and sugar on the table near Justin, wanting to see if he would move to use it or not. 

Josh watched Justin eat his cereal for a moment, taking another sip of his black coffee and wincing again. 

Josh sighed, taking a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket. He lit one, inhaling deeply. Justin looked over at him, eyes wide in surprise. 

I cant start the morning without nicotine and caffeine. Dont look too shocked, Justin. 

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner  morning, Justin  cause that is what I always want  Josh, put that thing out in the house - to be. Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner everyone would fall in love with me. 

Chris hopped up on the counter and reached for the coffee Josh had made for him. 

You missed a spot, hon. Josh reached up and wiped a bit of shaving cream off Chris face, kissing him softly. 

Justin watched them carefully, trying not to make it seem like he was watching them. Chris was wearing a raggedy bathrobe and bunny slippers. Josh was wearing a three piece suit and dress shoes. Chris hair was sticking up all over the place, still wet and dripping on his robe. Joshs was tamed perfectly. 

Chris easily plucked the cigarette out of Joshs hand, taking a quick drag before putting it out. 

I think Lance is gonna be jealous of us, Chris said, grinning a little. 

Why? Josh asked, handing Chris a bowl of cereal and a spoon. 

Because from now on, Justins going to be sitting half-naked in our kitchen every morning. Chris winked at Justin, still smiling. Justin blushed a little. 

Hes always this awake in the morning. Its annoying, Josh said to Justin. What do you want for lunch, Chris? 

Turkey. Chris said through a mouthful of cereal. He hopped off the counter and sat next to Justin. 

Do you want a sandwich too, Justin? Josh asked as he took out lunchmeat and cheese. 

Chris nudged Justin a little bit. Go for it. He makes great lunches. 

You know the only reason I make you lunch everyday is so I know you eat, Josh grinned. If I didnt youd have Doritos and a candy bar for lunch. And I still suspect you trade your fruit with the other teachers for something sugary. Do you want a sandwich, sweetie? 

It took Justin a minute to realize Josh meant **him** when he said sweetie. 

Umm...sure. he said softly. 

And he speaks, Josh smiled, bending over to give Justin a quick hug. Got enough cereal and coffee in you to communicate now? 

Justin smiled a little. I guess so. He took another bite of cereal. 

So for future knowledge since youre talking now, how do you drink your coffee because its obvious that you **dont** drink it black? And mayo or mustard? 

Justin blushed a little. Mustard. And I guess its lots of cream and sugar. I only drink coffee when Lance makes it for me. 

Then Ill ask Lance. Are you going to be home for dinner tonight? 

I guess. Can Lance come over? 

Of course, Chris answered. This is your home too, Justin. You **are** allowed to have guests over. As for Lance, we already expected him over a lot. 

Im going to go shower. Justin said, standing up and leaving the room quickly. 

Chris and Josh both watched him leave. Josh put down the knife, wiping his hands off. 

Good morning. he said, sitting down on Chris lap. 

Morning. Chris replied, moving in to get a **real** morning kiss. Josh grinned and rested his head on Chris shoulder. 

Mmm...coffee and cigarettes. Chris joked. 

You know you love it. 

Chris shrugged. Not especially but I put up with it because I love you.   
    


* * *

Justin! Are you ready? Chris shouted from the foot of the stairs. He looked at his watch again. Justin shut the guestroom door, his bedroom door now, behind himself. He hadnt been able to find his cleats in the boxes of stuff lying around the room. He finally found them in the box with his video games. 

Sorry, Justin said softly. I couldnt find my cleats. 

Do you have baseball this afternoon? 

Justin nodded, hefting his backpack over his shoulder, his baseball bag in his other hand. Joey said hed give me a ride back here after tryouts. 

Coach Foster isnt going to give you trouble about missing the first day of tryouts, is he? 

Justin shrugged. If he does, he does. Its not like him not letting me on the baseball team is the worst thing Ive had happen to me this week. 

Want to drive? Chris asked, holding the car keys out to Justin. 

Really? Justin asked, looking over at Chris Mustang. 

Yeah. You can drive stick, right? Chris grinned. 

No, Justin shook his head, frowning a little. Ive never been taught how to. 

Ooh. Looks like I get to teach you this weekend then, Chris said with a little gleam in his eye. Till then, well just take Joshs car in the morning so you can drive if you want to. 

You dont have to, Chris. Justin protested as he sat down, tossing his bags in the backseat. 

You are going to need to borrow a car sometimes, Justin, and theres no guarantee that Joshs car will be here when you need it, Chris put the car in reverse, speeding out of the driveway. So you need to learn how to drive stick. 

Thanks. Justin said softly. 

No problem, Chris smiled at him. He looked at the clock. Cool. Plenty of time to grab more coffee before we get to school. 

More coffee? Justin asked, looking at him. 

Chris nodded, pulling into a small coffee shop and parking the car. Josh seems to think that caffeine is bad for me so he cuts me off after one cup. I beg to differ. Caffeine is my friend. Cmon. You have got to try their cappuccino.   
    


* * *

How you doing, hon? Christina asked, sitting down at her desk and leaning over to rest her hand on Justins thigh which was bouncing nervously. 

Ive had a little too much caffeine, Justin admitted. But other then that...Im...fine? 

Christina picked up on the questioning tone of Justins voice but decided not to push that, rubbing his thigh comfortingly. 

How come you had too much caffeine? 

I had a cup with breakfast, Justin said, trying to consciously stop the bouncing of his leg. Then Chris and I stopped for more on the way to school. 

Yeah, Christina smiled, sitting back. Thats a whole hell of a lot more caffeine then youre used to. 

Want to know the worst part? Justin whispered, leaning over to keep it between them. 

Christina grinned, leaning over as well. Whats the worst part? 

Im horny as all hell and the caffeine is **not** helping things. 

Christina laughed, covering her mouth and sitting back. She shook her head, looking at Justin. 

So I guess you and Lance will be disappearing during lunch? 

Justin shook his head, reaching for his pencil, tapping it against the desk rapidly in a frantic pattern. 

Lance isnt into doing that. No fun backseat action with him. 

Then I guess youll just have to wait, Timberlake. Christina straightened up, smiling when the teacher walked in to start class.   


  

* * *

Hands off the French fries, Fatone. Christina said, smacking his hand before Joey could eat her fries. 

But Im hungry, Joey whined. Im a growing boy. 

Here, Joey, Britney said, pushing her half-finished plate over to him. Im not going to eat this. Help yourself. 

See, Joey stuck his tongue out at Christina. Britney loves me. **She** feeds me. 

Christina just rolled her eyes and ate another French fry. 

Sorry Im late, Justin said, setting his tray down. I had to...do some stuff. 

Stuff? Christina questioned teasingly, thinking back to their earlier conversation. What kind of stuff? 

Lance rested his hand on Justins thigh, pushing around the spaghetti on his plate with his fork. 

Change of address stuff. Emergency contact stuff, Justin mumbled, shoving food in his mouth. He looked down at his plate while he ate, refusing to meet anyones gaze. Chris wanted to get it taken care of as soon as possible. 

Probably a good idea, Joey said. Sports and all. 

I missed the drug tests, Justin took another bite of his food, not even noticing how it tasted today. Fosters gonna be pissed about that. 

Youre good though. You havent smoked up in ages, right? Joey yawned a little, reaching for a French fry and getting a smack on the hand again. He pulled his hand back, rubbing it and pouting. 

About three weeks I think, Justin shrugged. Whatever. If I dont make the team, who really cares. 

Joey raised his hand. I care. I like playing on the team with you. And fuck man. We need you. 

And college, Justin, Lance said quietly. If you dont make the team because of failing a drug test, your scholarship is going to mean shit. 

Whatever, Justin shrugged again, looking back down at his food. Im not going to college anyway. 

Yes you are, Christina said. You got accepted everywhere you applied. 

Im not going, okay, Justin said, pushing his food away. So lets just fucking drop it. 

Lance reached for Justins hand but Justin pulled away, standing up. Im leaving. See you guys around. 

Fuck. Joey mumbled under his breath. He reached for a French fry, getting it without being smacked this time.   
    


* * *

I wish hed talk. Joey muttered to Nick as they both watched Justin pitch from the sidelines. 

I dont think he wants to. Nick said, squatting down and bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. He was up to bat next and if he didnt stretch first there was no way in hell he was going to be able to even try to hit anything Justin was throwing out there. 

Hes got like this....attitude shit going on, Joey shook his head. I cant figure it out. One minute hell be all needy and clingy and the next minute hell be trying to make people angry, stalking away, yelling. Jesus Nick. I dont think Ive **ever** heard him drop curses into casual conversation. 

You cant expect him to be the same, Joey, Nick said, standing back up and stretching his arms up. Would you be the same if your mom did that to you? 

I dont expect him to be the same. I just...oh hell, Joey slammed his bat against the ground. I just want him to trust me. Hes my best friend. 

Just give him time, Nick coughed. Your girlfriend is waving to you. 

Joey looked up and waved at Christina who was sitting in the stands with Lance. They both decided they wanted to watch the tryouts today. Joey suspected that it was so they could make sure Justin was okay. 

I think Ive been spending too much time around AJ again, Nick said, lifting his bat. Im starting to sound like his mom with all the give him time crap and sensitive shit. 

You just want to sleep with AJs mom, Joey grinned at him. Youre up, man. Lets see if **you** can hit what Justins throwing. 

I can, Nick said, looking back at him. And I **dont** want to sleep with AJs mom. 

Shes hot. Joey grinned at him before stretching himself as he watched Nick attempt to hit. 

A few minutes later Nick trudged back. Fuck, he mumbled. How did he manage to get **better**?   
  
---  
  
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	39. Chapter Thirty-Eight

Justin! Josh called from the dining room, his hands on his hips as he looked at the pile of books and papers on the table. Can you come clear off the dining room table for me? 

Justin groaned softly, resting his forehead on Lances bare stomach. He turned his head so he wasnt shouting into Lances stomach. 

Can it wait? Im kind of busy! 

Lance ran his fingers through Justins curls, trying not to feel horribly embarrassed. They had thought they would have plenty of time for sex. Chris was at a staff meeting and Josh never came home early. Except today when they were both naked on Justins bed. 

I need to make dinner, Justin, Josh shouted back. Itll take two seconds. Just throw some pants on for a second and come do it please. 

How did he know? Justin murmured, kissing Lances stomach softly. 

Just go do it, Lance said, sighing softly. Itll just take a minute. 

Okay, Justin said, slowly licking Lances cock from base to tip before getting off the bed and grabbing a pair of pants. 

That was **so** not fair, Lance moaned, pulling the covers over himself. Justin grinned and shut the door behind himself, running down the stairs quickly. 

Youre home early, Justin said as he quickly gathered up the books and papers he and Lance had left strewn across the table. 

Bad day, Josh said. I wanted to get out of there. 

Sorry, Justin said, straightening up and looking at him, the books in his arms. What happened? 

Josh laughed a little, pushing Justin towards the steps. Well talk about it at dinner. Dont leave Lance waiting too long. 

Justin stopped again, looking at him. How did you know that we are...umm...you know? 

Having sex? Josh asked, his eyes twinkling a little behind his glasses. Lances car is here. The dining room looks like you left it in a hurry. And this is the big one, the real gimme clue. Your shirt is on the steps. 

Oh, Justin blushed. Umm....oops. 

Go, Josh laughed again. Ill see you guys when youre done. 

Justin didnt need to be told again. He grabbed his shirt off the steps and ran back upstairs, opening the door and dropping the books on the ground. He stripped his pants off and jumped back into bed, grinning at Lance. 

Miss me? 

Josh walked back into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and staring at the food in it for awhile, not really looking at it. The job situation had seemed fairly stable for a few weeks there but now it was shaky again. There were major grumblings about the funding for his project and the fact that there werent enough people working on it. Josh tried to argue with them to hire someone else, but apparently they would rather fire or move the rest of them around then do that. They had let Kimberly go today. 

He shut the refrigerator and went out back, sitting in one of the chairs and looking at the garden. It was raining which didnt improve his mood any. Josh pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one and watching the rain. 

Josh didnt even notice when the back door opened and Chris walked out. He didnt notice until he felt Chris kiss his cheek, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

Oh, Josh said, a little surprised. Hey, hon. 

Hey, Chris smiled, sitting on Joshs lap and resting his head on his shoulder. I saw Lances car out front. 

Josh nodded, wrapping one arm around Chris waist, the other holding his cigarette. Theyre upstairs. 

Chris kissed Joshs neck, resting his hand on Joshs arm. Should I assume that they arent studying or playing video games upstairs? 

Nope. They werent expecting us home so early, Josh exhaled away from Chris face, stubbing the rest of the cigarette out so he could hold him with both arms. 

Well, I guess that means Justin is at least comfortable enough here to have sex in the house now, Chris sighed softly. Maybe hell finish unpacking. 

They fired Kimberly today, Josh tightened his arms around Chris waist. Things arent looking good, Chris. 

Chris sighed a little, kissing Joshs neck again. Itll be okay. Well be fine. 

I wish I had your faith, Josh closed his eyes. Im scared. 

Hey, Chris turned in his arms so he was facing Josh. He took his face in his hands, cupping his chin. We **will** be fine, baby. You and me....we can face anything as long as we face it together. 

I love you, Josh murmured, leaning forward and kissing him softly. 

I love you too, Chris smiled, running his fingers through Joshs hair. Well just do what we did when we both were still in school. 

Make Danielle cook for us? 

Chris laughed. I meant eat at our parents more often, but yeah. That works too. 

What about Justin? asked Josh, looking up towards the second story of their house. 

Well take care of Justin, Chris said quietly, resting his head on Joshs shoulder. Whatever happens, the three of us will be fine.   


  

* * *

  
Hows your arm? asked Joey, reaching for the shampoo. He started to lather up his hair before he looked back over at Justin. 

A little stiff, Justin said, rotating it, letting the hot water pound on the shoulder. Itll be okay. Ill ice it when I get home tonight. 

Joey smiled a little, his fingers still working in his hair. You called it home. You havent done that before. 

Justin shrugged, reaching for the soap. I guess it feels like my home. At least it feels like **a** home. 

Joey looked around the empty showers. No one else on the team would shower at the same time Justin was showering. For the first couple weeks, he had left without showering, not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable. Joey finally got fed up and dragged Justin into the showers with him after a game, talking to him normally as they showered. Everyone else left, waiting until they were done to shower. 

I like Josh and Chris, Joey stepped under the hot water again, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. I feel welcome whenever I come over. 

You are welcome, Justin smiled, rinsing off himself. He liked to get the shower over with quickly. There were other guys waiting to shower once he was done. But Im glad you feel that way. Being able to have you guys over makes it easier. 

You done, sexy? Joey winked at him, turning off the shower and walking over to grab his towel. 

Justin laughed, turning the water off as well. Joey tossed him a towel and he wrapped it around his waist. 

My boyfriend would kick your ass if he heard you call me sexy, joked Justin. 

Riiight, Joey walked back into the locker room with Justin close behind him. Lance could really kick **my** ass. 

The question isnt if he could, Justin sighed as he watched the other players disappear, leaving him and Joey alone. Its if he would. 

Which he wouldnt, Joey grinned at him, scrubbing his hair with the towel. He wished that this was easier for him, pretending that he didnt care that Justin was gay. It didnt really bother him until moments like these, when they were naked around each other. He did feel uncomfortable but damned if he was going to let Justin know it. Lance loves me. 

You **think** he loves you, Justin smiled, pulling a shirt over his head. Lance **is** a great actor, you know. 

Bah, Joey stuck his tongue out at Justin. Hurry up. Im starving. 

Come over to my house, Justin said, slipping his feet into his sandals. Josh made meatloaf yesterday and I know theres leftovers. 

Joey scratched his chin. Meatloaf you say? Mom is in Brooklyn for a few more days which means we would just be having pizza and cereal for dinner. Okay...Im in. 

Justin reached over and grabbed Joeys car keys from his hand. Yoink! 

Timberlake! Joey shouted as he chased Justin out of the locker room. Those are **my** keys. 

Im driving! Justin called out, running outside. 

Fine, Joey waved his hand. Drive. See if I care. I always get lost trying to get to your house anyway.   
  

* * *

  
Game or practice today? asked Josh, leaning over to look at the calendar. Chris pulled him back, parting his legs and pulling Josh to him where he sat on the counter. 

He wont be back for awhile, Chris slipped his hands under the waist of Joshs pants, pulling him closer and kissing him. Joeys bringing him home. They **always** go to Joeys house to eat before he comes home. 

Good, Josh smiled into the kiss, unbuttoning Chris shirt as they kissed. I missed getting to undress you anywhere I wanted. 

I just missed undressing you, Chris moaned, licking Joshs neck. Josh slipped his hands under the T-shirt Chris was wearing under his shirt, running his nails over his skin. 

You just undressed me last night, Josh laughed a little before inhaling a lungful of air when Chris nimbly unzipped his pants and slid a hand inside his boxers. 

Theres undressing and then theres **undressing** , Chris moved his hand slowly, sucking on Joshs ear at the same time, listening for the soft gasps and moans that Josh made when he was aroused. 

Chris, Josh moaned, resting his head on Chris shoulder. We should move upstairs. Just in case. 

Cant move. Jerking you off, Chris nipped at his earlobe, moving his hand a little faster. 

Oh shit, Justin said, turning around and pushing Joey back out the back door as soon as he saw Chris and Josh. 

What? asked Joey, stumbling backwards onto the deck again. 

You interested in McDonalds instead of meatloaf? Justin kept pushing him backwards, not wanting Joey to see Chris and Josh half undressed in the kitchen. Actually, **he** didnt really want to see it again. 

Fuck, Chris murmured, pulling his hand out of Joshs pants and zipping them back up. Go upstairs. Ill tell Justin everythings cool. 

Josh sighed heavily. Okay, he walked out of the room quickly, embarrassed that Justin had seen that. 

Chris straightened his clothes before opening the back door. Justin was still on the back porch with Joey trying to convince him that McDonalds was a good idea. 

Justin, Chris cleared his throat. Uh. Sorry about that. Well be...umm...upstairs if you need us for...yeah. 

Justin blushed and looked at his feet. We...Joeys mom is out of town. We came back here to eat. 

Help yourselves, Chris said, his face bright red as well. I think were just going to have a fend for yourself dinner anyway. Youre welcome to stay, Joey. 

Thanks, Chris, Joey smiled having realized now what they had just walked in on. Hes trying hard not to blush himself. 

Ill see you two later, Chris shut the door behind him, practically running upstairs. 

Uh...did we just... Joey gestured with his hands. Interrupt them? 

Justin nodded, still blushing. Remember that time we walked in on Howie and Darla? 

Joey nodded. Dude...that was embarrassing. 

Well...lets just say we didnt interrupt much that time compared to this.   
  

* * *

  
Josh knocked on the door frame of the bedroom. Justin was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. 

Justin looked over at him.  "Hi Josh." 

Josh smiled and took that as a sign that it was okay to come in. Josh sat down on the bed and squeezed his shoulder. "What are you doing this afternoon?" 

"The ceiling looks pretty interesting today." 

Josh sighed. "What's Lance doing today?" 

"Poofu." 

Josh had grown pretty used to the mood swings by now. "Okay then. You are going grocery shopping with me." 

"Why?" 

"Because you aren't doing anything else and I don't want you sitting in the house all afternoon again. This isn't healthy, Justin." 

Justin sat up and glared at him. "Sorry I haven't been dealing with losing my family all that well. Next time it happens, I'll deal with it better." 

Josh grabbed Justin's arm and hauled him off the bed. "Get your shoes on and let's roll. You need to learn how to go grocery shopping." 

"Why?" 

"Because when you go to college in the fall I don't want you coming home every weekend and raiding our fridge for food. You need to be able to shop yourself." 

Justin pouted as he tied his shoes. "Like I'm going to college now," he muttered. 

Josh put his hands on his hips. "With the four people supporting you I think you'll do fine." 

"What four people? Dad is doing all the supporting now and he can't do much." 

"Justin, look at your life for a moment. Chris and I are going to help you out as much as we can. And I'm pretty sure you are going to be able to help support yourself as well. You are going to college, Justin." 

Justin looked up at him. "Really?" 

Josh nodded. "Really. You are part of our family now. You aren't just living in our spare room, Justin. We care about you." A moment later, Justin's arms were wrapped around Josh, hugging him tightly. 

"Okay. Let's go," Josh said to him, throwing his arm over Justin's shoulder. "I want to see if I can teach you to shop since Chris is inept at it. If you can do it, I don't have to do it every week." 

Justin actually managed a real smile for the first time in a long time.   
  

* * *

  
Justin scrambled to find the coupon Josh was looking for, messing up the perfect order Josh had everything in. "I can't find it." Justin said, looking up at Josh. He handed the coupons back to him and shrugged. 

"You are so straight sometimes." Josh grinned at him, quickly flipping through the coupons and pulling out the coupon for salad dressing. 

"Yeah, but not at the right times." Justin said, running his finger across the bottles of salad dressing. 

"Grab a bottle of vinegrette and a bottle of ranch." Josh said. 

"Can I get french too?" 

Josh nodded. "I told you to write down what you wanted on the list. Why didn't you say you liked french dressing?" 

Justin shrugged. "I didn't want to be a bother. I can deal with ranch if I need to." He put the dressing in the cart. 

Josh handed him three coupons. "Go to the cereal aisle and get two boxes of cereal. Make sure one is Wheaties because Chris won't be able to function without having that for breakfast and then get something you like that we have a coupon for." 

Justin gave him a mock salute. "Yes sir." 

Josh chuckled and pushed the cart towards the deli while Justin headed off in the opposite direction. 

Grinning, Justin grabbed a box of Crunchberries. He missed having that around. He turned to get the Wheaties and froze. 

"Mom." 

Lynne stared at her son for a moment and reached past him to grab a box of Life cereal. Justin reached out to touch her arm, wanting more then anything for her to just talk to him, to say anything, to say hello at least. 

She jerked her arm away and glared at him angrily. "You don't touch me, Justin. Understand?" 

Justin nodded, biting his lip to keep from crying. "I'm sorry." 

Lynne looked at him one more time. "You look like shit." 

Justin nodded again. 

"I'm glad." 

Justin backed up until he hit the shelves. Lynne's glare was evil. She hated him more then he thought possible. He could see that now. "I love you, Mommy." He whispered. 

Lynne pushed her cart down the aisle, ignoring his words and walking away from him again.   
    
Justin picked up a box of Wheaties and wiped his eyes, sniffling as he walked to the deli. 

Josh smiled as he put the cereal in the cart. "Ooh. Crunchberries. Good choice." 

Justin nodded and looked at the groceries in the cart. Josh's smile disappeared when he saw the hurt and pain on Justin's face. 

"What happened, Justin?" 

"Lynne is here." He said softly, toying with the coupons. 

"Oh, Justin." Josh said softly, rubbing his back gently. 

Justin shook his head. "No. I'm okay. I told her I'm sorry and that I love her. She looks good." 

"What did she say?" 

"That I look like shit." 

Josh sighed and looked around, hoping to see her and hoping not to see her. "Well finish this up quickly, hopefully without seeing her again. Then we'll go home and spend some time downstairs hitting the punching bag. Sound good?" 

Justin nodded, still toying with the coupons. "Sounds good."   
  
---  
  
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	40. Chapter Thirty-Nine

Justin yawned as he lifted his lunch tray. He was exhausted today. Josh was out of town for a few days for work and Chris broke the coffeepot the first morning Josh was gone. Neither of them woke up on time this morning so they didnt even have time to stop for coffee. The only thing that made Justin feel better about his lack of coffee was seeing Chris running through the house half-dressed because he couldnt find his other shoe. Chris really **was** helpless without Josh. 

You know, Joey grinned. I worry leaving the three of them alone while we get the food. The other day, I walked in on them talking about my masturbation habit. 

Justin looked over the table where Lance, Christina, and Britney were laughing. 

At least only one of them knows your intimate sex secrets. Two of them know mine, Justin yawned again. And they both share. 

Joey patted Justin on the shoulder. Yeah. So do you really like it when someone bites your nipples? 

Oh God, Justin blushed. I am **so** not answering that. 

Thats a yes to me, Joey laughed. Besides, they both confirmed it already. 

Kill me now, Justin sighed. Put me out of my misery. 

Did you get Lances pizza? 

Yup. Did you get Chrissys ice cream? 

Joey shifted items on his tray, proudly displaying the Dixie cups Christina had wanted. 

Damn PMS, Joey muttered. Yesterday she had me make her a peanut butter and potato chip sandwich. 

You know, Justin mused. I dont miss that. 

How can you miss it anyway? Youre still Brits personal slave most of the time. That reminds me. You **did** grab barbeque chips, right? 

Of course. Shed have my head if I didnt, Justin laughed. And Im not her slave. Im just being nice. 

Whats it feel like to be whipped by two people? asked Joey as he paid for the food on his tray. 

I am **not** whipped, Justin protested, paying for the food he had. 

Joey made a whip cracking sound. 

Whatever, Mr. Finger-me-again. Justin rolled his eyes. 

It feels good, Joey sputtered. And like youre one to talk about that. I bet you beg for it. 

Yeah Joey...but Im gay. Im supposed to like that. 

Shut up, Joey muttered as they walked towards the table. 

So you have no problems? Britney asked in amazement. 

Lance shook his head. Nope but Ive had more practice then you. 

I did it a lot, Britney said skeptically. 

But you only did it with Justin, Lance pointed out. 

True, Britney agreed. And I choked on him almost every time I went down on him. 

Oh boy, Justin exchanged a look with Joey. Thats not good. 

The first few times I did it with Joey, I had problems, Christina admitted. But Joeys **big**. 

Okay. Great, Joey sat down, interrupting them. How about we not talk about this? 

So Joeys hung? Justin asked, grinning as he handed Britney her food. 

Hey baby, Lance smiled, kissing Justin. Wheres my pizza? 

No asking if Im hung! Joey exclaimed, giving Christina her ice cream and a dirty look. 

Justin handed Lance his pizza. Lance is hung. 

Justin! 

What? You guys were talking about giving me a blowjob. I cant share that youre hung? 

Lance dropped his head to the table, his ears bright red. 

You embarrassed him, Britney scolded Justin, smacking him lightly in the bicep. 

And talking about going down on me isnt embarrassing? Justin snapped at her. Thats not exactly **comfortable** for me. 

Fine. We wont do it anymore, Lance pushed his chair away from the table, getting up and walking out of the lunchroom. 

Oh what the hell was that for? Justin gestured angrily in the direction Lance went. Hes been so moody lately. 

Arent you gonna go after him? asked Joey, frowning a little. 

Justin took a bite of his sandwich, shaking his head. Why? That would just be justifying his little queeny moment. 

Britney exchanged looks with Christina. Okay, Justin. Lance isnt me. You cant react to his outbursts the way you did with mine. Thats not going to work. 

Justin glared at her. I would appreciate it if you **dont** tell me how to deal with my relationship. 

Britney held up her hand. Okay. Im shutting up now, she opened her potato chips, popping one in her mouth. At least I tried.   
  

* * *

  
Is Lance coming over for dinner? asked Chris as he rummaged around the cabinets for food. 

Nope, Justin crunched on a piece of celery. Hes having a pissy day. 

Chris looked at him skeptically for a moment before shrugging. Okay. As long as everything is okay between the two of you. 

Why are you worried about that? 

Chris straightened up and looked over at him again. Are you sure **Lance** is the one having the pissy day? 

Whats that supposed to mean? Justin bristled, standing up and glaring at Chris. 

Look, Chris held up his hands. Im not saying anything else. Ill make some dinner. Why dont you do some homework and relax a little. Ill call you when dinners ready. 

Justin took an angry bite of the celery, snapping it with his teeth. Fine, he wiped his hands on his pants, nodding a little. This pain in the ass math teacher I have **did** assign a lot of work tonight. 

Chris grinned a little. Dont want people to think Im getting soft. 

Justin grinned back at him. From what I saw the other day, neither you or Josh are **soft**. 

Chris smacked him lightly. Get out of here. And call Lance. 

* * *

So did you two kiss and make up yet? asked Joey, sitting down at the lunch table next to Justin. 

Justin took a bite of his hamburger. When I do something wrong, Ill apologize. I didnt do anything wrong. 

Joey shook his head. You two have been fighting for a week now. This sucks for the **rest** of us too, you know. 

Were not fighting, Joey, Justin sighed, pushing away his food. Were just...a little...off. 

Whens the last time you spent any time with Lance alone? 

Thursday, Justin mumbled softly. 

Dude. Thats a week, Joey shook his head. You two are fighting. Get over it and make up with him already. 

I **didnt** do anything wrong! 

Justin, Joey put his hand on his shoulder. You dated Brit for four years. Dont you know by now its just easier to apologize even if you werent wrong? 

Leave me alone, Justin growled, shrugging Joeys hand off of him. 

Joey sighed and picked up his tray, standing up. Think about what you want, Justin because you are being a complete prick right now. 

Id appreciate if you didnt treat me like I was five, Joey. 

Ill treat you like youre five if I want to. Youre sure as hell acting like youre five at the moment. 

Justin didnt get to reply because Joey just walked away, leaving him sitting alone at their lunch table. 

* * *

  
Justin slammed his locker shut angrily. He hasnt been this pissed for no reason in a long time. Joey getting on his case at lunch had not helped matters. He was ready to snap at this point. 

Timberlake! 

Justin turned towards the voice, groaning inwardly when he saw who it was. There were a few people who still had a problem with him and Lance dating. The two people walking his way happened to be two of the people who had the **biggest** problems with it. 

What do you want, Scott? 

I dont think I like your tone of voice, Timberlake, Scott looked at the guy by his side. What do you think, Greg? Is Timberlake taking a nasty tone of voice with me? 

Greg nodded in agreement. I think his tone of voice is definitely nasty. 

Just leave me alone, Justin tried to push by them but he was stopped by Scotts hand on his chest. 

Justin looked down at the hand on his chest. I suggest you remove your hand, he said between clenched teeth. 

Aww...whats the faggot going to do if I dont? Hey, Timberlake. Did you and your fairy boyfriend have a fight? I havent seen the two of you kissing in the hallways lately. Not that I mind. I dont feel like throwing up anymore. 

That was enough to set Justin off. He dropped his books and lunged at Scott, catching him hard in the stomach with his fist. He didnt stop there, pushing him across the hall and into another set of lockers, slamming his fists into Scotts body, not even noticing anything but Scott in front of him and the insane desire to keep hitting him. 

Greg tried to pull Justin off but got a fist in the nose for his efforts. He backed away, holding his bloody nose, watching in shock as Justin kept pounding on Scott. The hall was silent as people stared, unable to do anything and shocked to see Justin snap like this. 

Principle Greene pushed through the crowd, grabbing Justin by the back of his shirt and pulling him off of Scott. 

My office. **NOW**. All three of you, he let Justin go. And someone find Mr. Kirkpatrick for me and tell him to come to my office immediately. 

* * *

Justin sat sullenly in the chair, slumped down and not looking at anyone else in the room. Scott and Greg had been sent to the nurses office to take care of their injuries. Chris was in the office with Mr. Greene at the moment and Justin was forced to just sit in the main office and wait for his turn. 

Chris, Bob shook his head. What is going on with Justin? 

Chris sighed and pushed his glasses up, squeezing the bridge of his nose. I have no idea. Hes closed off to everyone in the past few weeks. I can barely get him to say hello in the morning. 

I have to suspend him for this, Chris. You know that. 

I dont think thats the best idea right now, Chris looked at Bob intently. 

Right idea or not, he has to be suspended for fighting. Theres no way around this rule, Chris. And frankly, you need to watch yourself in this matter. Stop trying to protect him all the time and realize that Justin has to take responsibility for his actions. He broke Greg Andersons nose and did major damage to Scott Browns face. Hes going to need stitches. 

I know that, Bob. Its just right now everything is so up in the air for Justin that this is only a natural reaction for him. 

Not in my school, Bob said firmly, sitting back. Justin is suspended for the next week. I suggest you take him home now. 

Ive got classes to teach, Chris gritted his teeth, standing up. 

He cannot stay in the school any longer today, Bob said to him firmly. And you are his guardian so you get to figure this out. 

Fine, Chris slammed the door behind himself, stalking out to the front office. Justin didnt even look up at him. 

Come on, Justin. Chris grabbed his arm, pulling him up. Youve got to go home now. 

He started it, Justin muttered. 

I dont care, Chris hissed at him, shoving the car keys into Justins hand. Well talk about this when I get home. For now, just get out of here. Im calling the house in twenty minutes and you had better be there. Understand? 

Justin took the keys and shoved them in his pocket. He nodded curtly to Chris and walked back to his locker. 

* * *

Chris slammed the front door, dropping his briefcase on the table and hollering up the stairs for Justin. 

Justin opened his door and walked to the steps, his arms crossed, peering down at Chris. 

Can you please come down here, Justin? 

Reluctantly, Justin slowly walked down the steps and stood in front of Chris, using the few inches he had on the man to his advantage. 

Youre suspended for the next week, Chris said, gesturing for him to sit on the couch. And youre grounded as well. 

You cant ground me! Justin shouted, getting right up in Chris face. 

I can and I am, Chris crossed his arms, refusing to be intimidated by the younger man. 

You cant! Youre **not** my father! You cant tell me what to do. Justin flopped down on the couch. 

Then Ill call your father and have him tell you that youre grounded because one way or another you are grounded, young man! 

Fuck you! Justin got back up, pushing Chris aside. I dont need you. I dont need Josh. I dont need **anyone**. 

Then leave! Chris shouted. See how far youll get without a high school education and no money! 

I hate you! Justin shouted once more before slamming the front door behind him. 

Chris sat down on the couch heavily, dropping his head to the cushion and closing his eyes. Oh this was just a great turn of events. He opened one eye and looked at his watch. Josh should be home soon. Maybe he could fix this.   
  
---  
  
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	41. Chapter Forty

Lance stopped a few feet from his front porch. Justin was sitting on the steps, his eyes closed, propped up against the railing. 

They hadnt done anything but fight for the past week and now Justin was sitting on his steps waiting for him. Word spread quickly that Justin had gotten into a fight today and had gotten suspended. Lance was going to call him after he had gotten home just to see what happened and if he needed anything. 

Justin, Lance touched his shoulder, shaking him gently. 

Hi, Justin said softly, opening his eyes and looking up at Lance. I didnt know where else to go. 

Lance sat down next to him, resting his head on Justins shoulder. Why did you have to go somewhere? 

Chris and I got into a big fight and I left, Justin whispered, slipping his arm around Lance waist. Probably not my best move but it seems like Im making all the mistakes lately. 

Do you want to come inside? asked Lance, standing up again and reaching down for Justins hand. 

Yeah, Justin took his hand and let Lance pull him up. Promise not to tell your mom what happened. I dont want to worry her. 

Justin, Lance sighed, unlocking the front door. Shes going to wonder why you refuse to go home later tonight, he turned to look at Justin. You are going to refuse to go home, right? Im not just assuming things here? 

No, Justin said softly. I dont want to go home tonight. 

Lance nodded, dropping his backpack on the steps and reaching for Justins hand again. Lets go lie down. I think you need to take a nap. Ten bucks says you havent slept in ages. 

Is it that obvious? Justin yawned a little. He knew that he would sleep now if he was sleeping in bed with Lance. He always slept better with Lance. 

To me it is, Lance pulled him upstairs, sitting him down on the bed. We can talk later. For now, I just want you to sleep. 

Justin nodded, yawning again. Stay with me? 

Lance sighed softly. Im going to call Chris first and let him know where you are. Then Ill be back. I promise. 

Okay, Justin kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers of Lances bed, grabbing his teddy bear and hugging it to his chest. 

Lance kissed him softly on his forehead. I love you, Justin. 

I love you, Justin mumbled, already half-asleep.   
    


* * *

Chris paced around the house anxiously, chewing on his nails and trying to figure out what to do next. Josh was on the phone with Christina, trying to find out if she knew where Justin had gone. So far, no one had seen him. 

Have you called Lance? asked Christina. God, why didnt we think of that before now? 

I have no clue, Josh shook his head. Calling Lance should have been a given. Look, Im going to call him. Ill call you back, hon. 

Bye Josh, Christina hung up and went back to staring out the window of her bedroom at nothing. 

Did she know anything? Chris asked nervously. 

Josh sighed. Why didnt we think to call Lance? 

Chris sat down on the couch heavily. Because were idiots apparently. 

Josh squeezed Chris thigh gently. Dont beat yourself up, hon. This isnt your fault. 

Chris shook his head. Hes our responsibility. I should have noticed that he was so upset. I seriously fucked this up. 

Josh kissed him softly. Well fix this. Ill call Lance. Why dont you go figure out something for dinner? 

Chris nodded miserably, standing up slowly. Thank you for trying to fix this for me. 

Josh smiled at him. Hes mine too. 

Chris walked out, leaving Josh in the living room with the phone. He dialed Lances number, praying that Justin had ended up there. He didnt know where else Justin would have gone. 

Hello? 

Hi Jim. Its Josh. 

Oh hey, Josh. Whats up? 

Is Justin at your house? 

Yeah. He and Lance are napping at the moment. Lance said he tried to call but your phone was busy. 

Josh sighed in relief, sinking back into the couch. Thank God. When they get up, can you have Lance call me? 

No problem, Jim paused for a moment. Hey, why dont you and Chris come over for dinner? We havent seen you guys in ages. 

Josh stood up walking towards the kitchen. Let me ask Chris. Whats Diane making tonight? 

Pot roast and potatoes. You know you want some. 

Josh laughed as he walked into the kitchen. Hold on for a sec, Jim, he put his hand over the mouthpiece. Hes at Lances. Jim wants us to come over for dinner. 

Chris put down the box of cereal in his hand. Okay, he said agreeably. I was just going to make cereal anyway. So does Justin really hate me? 

Josh squeezed Chris hand. No. He was just angry, he put the phone back to his ear. Well be over, Jim. Well bring some wine as well. 

Sounds good. See you soon. 

Josh hung up, wrapping his arms around Chris tightly. Itll be okay, baby. 

Chris nodded. I feel like I should be doing more. Im supposed to be helping him. I ended up screaming at him and pushing him away. 

Josh walked Chris over to a chair, sitting down and pulling Chris onto his lap. You and Justin are so much alike that you are bound to aggravate each other living together. This is still new to all of us. 

Chris slipped his hands up the hem of Joshs shirt, resting his palms on his sides. I just wish I knew what was going on with him. 

Hell tell us when hes ready, Josh rested his head on Chris shoulder. I know he will.   
    


* * *

Lance smoothed back Justins curls, watching him as he slept almost peacefully for the first time all afternoon. He had been thrashing around earlier and muttering in his sleep. Lance wished that he knew what was going on with him but it seemed like whatever was wrong was something Justin didnt want to share. 

Lance got out of bed and walked over to his bedroom window. He could see Justins old house peeking out from behind a palm tree. From where he was standing their old smoking spot on the roof was visible. He watched for a few more minutes, remembering how only a few months before everything was normal and okay. 

Sometimes, even though it meant that he wouldnt have Justin, Lance wished that they could go back to that. Anything so life was back to normal again. 

Hey, Justin mumbled, wrapping his arms around Lances waist and resting his head, eyes closed, on Lances shoulder, his cheek pressed up against his neck. 

Hi, Lance smiled at the view from the window before turning his head and kissing Justins curls. Feeling any better? 

Im still sleepy, Justin yawned as if to prove his point. His voice was still a little hoarse but for the most part he sounded awake now. 

You can sleep more, Lance turned in his arms so they were pressed up against each other, chest to chest. Ill wake you up when its time to eat. 

Justin shook his head, blinking slowly as he focused on Lances face so close to his own. He brought up one hand to trace the shape of Lances cheek. 

Lance smiled, his eyelids fluttering closed as Justin touched his face. A moment later, Justin pressed his lips against Lances tenderly at first but the kiss progressed until it was rough and hungry at the end and fingers were grasping at flesh. 

Justin moaned softly, opening his eyes and looking at Lance. His eyes were still shut, his lips half-parted still searching for Justins lips. 

I dont want to sleep anymore. Justin murmured, kissing Lances neck softly, mouthing it. 

Really? Lance chuckled a little breathlessly. I hadnt noticed. 

Im sorry, Justin apologized, running his fingers lightly over Lances face again. Im a jerk and an asshole and I should have apologized a week ago like I know I should have but didnt. 

Lance pulled back to look at him. Are you just apologizing so we can have sex? 

Are we going to have sex? 

No, Lance shook his head. Not a chance. My parents are home. But was that why you were apologizing? 

No, Justin kissed Lances nose. I was apologizing because I was wrong. I acted like an asshole and you had a right to be mad at me. 

Well okay then, Lance tugged on his hand, pulling Justin over to the bed. We cant have sex but Id really like to just kiss you for awhile. 

Justin smiled widely. Okay.   
    
    


* * *

    
Josh knocked on Lances bedroom door softly. He had left Chris downstairs with Diane and Jim knowing that they would be good for him to talk to right now. He needed to talk to Justin. 

Lance and Justin flew apart, tugging clothing back into place and trying to fix their hair. 

Come in, Lance said, crossing his legs and pulling a pillow over his lap to hide his erection. 

Hey, Josh poked his head into the room. Just me. You can relax and not worry about having to look like you werent all hot and heavy two seconds before. 

How do you always know? Lance laughed, moving the pillow off his lap and leaning back on his arms. 

Sixth sense, Josh smiled, walking into the room and sitting on the bed. Justins face was stony and he didnt look at all pleased to see Josh at the moment. 

Its okay anyway, Lance smiled, rubbing his hand on Justins thigh. We werent really doing anything, just kissing and...stuff. 

That and stuff can be hot and heavy, Josh grinned at him. I was your age once. 

Lance snorted at that. Like you are so much older then us now. 

Josh waved his hand a little. You know what I mean. Look, can I talk to Justin alone for a few minutes? Chris is downstairs with your parents. 

No, Justin said quickly, clutching onto Lances arm. I dont want to talk to you. 

Josh sighed softly, looking down at his hands. Justin, he said quietly. Im not Chris. 

Lance gently unwrapped Justins hand from around his arm. Im going to go downstairs. I want you to talk to Josh. 

Lance, Justin reached for him again, trying to keep him close. Dont go. 

Justin, Lance touched his cheek, cupping it gently. Talk to Josh. 

Justin pulled away and crossed his arms, not looking at either of them. Lance just sighed and stood up, leaving them alone. 

Justin, Josh reached out, touching his shoulder gently. Justin pulled away from him. Can you look at me? 

Justin raised his head a little, looking at Joshs face. What? 

So you broke someones nose today? 

Justin looked away again, feeling guilty. Josh turned his head back towards him so Justin was looking at him. 

Want to tell me why? 

Justin sighed, moving closer to Josh and resting his head on his shoulder. 

He was egging me on, just calling me names and stuff. Then he started picking on Lance, saying that Lance and I were having problems and he was happy about that. So...I hit him. But I didnt break his nose. I broke Gregs and I didnt mean to. 

But you meant to hurt...Scott was it? 

Justin nodded, looking guilty now. I just wanted to hurt him so badly. Everything was just...there was so much bothering me. Ive been really frustrated lately. 

Josh smoothed back Justins curls, holding Justin close. Whats been going on? 

I dont know. Just....everything. 

Want to narrow down the everything? 

I miss my mother, Justin admitted. I miss Paul. I miss the house. I miss my life. 

Josh continued to smooth back Justins hair as he talked. I know, sweetie. This isnt easy at all and we dont want to make it seem like it should be easy for you. I just want to help any way I can. 

Justin sniffled, turning his head to cry silently on Joshs shoulder. Josh wrapped his arms around Justin, rocking him gently. 

Im not going anywhere, he murmured in Justins ear. I promise you that, Justin. Whatever you need from me, Ill be here. 

Justin dug his fingertips into Joshs back a little harder at that, finally letting out an audible sob. Josh kept rocking him, holding him close and talking to him, promising that neither he or Chris would ever give up on him, that he would always be part of their family. 

Finally, Justin pulled back, swiping at his eyes uselessly. He sniffled softly, his eyes red-rimmed and still leaking tears. Josh wiped off Justins cheeks with his shirt cuffs, ignoring the fact it was a good shirt. 

Im sorry, Justin said guiltily, gesturing at Joshs shirt. I messed up your shirt. 

Josh looked down at himself, shrugging. Its just a shirt. Ill snag something of Lances if I have to but it should dry eventually, he cupped Justins chin in his hand. Did that help any? 

Crying or what you said? 

Josh smiled gently. I meant the crying but if the words helped Im glad. 

They did, Justin said honestly. A lot more then youll probably ever realize. 

Good, Josh hugged him again. So from now on, how about talking to Chris or myself about whats bothering you before pissing off all your friends and then breaking peoples faces so you get yourself suspended. 

Okay, Justin said meekly. Are you going to tell my father? 

Josh nodded. This is something he needs to hear about, sweetie. You know that. 

Justin sighed softly. I know. Im just scared that hes going to get mad like Chris did. 

Chris wasnt mad at you. He was mad at himself. Josh leaned over, grabbing tissues and handing them to Justin. 

Why was he mad at himself? asked Justin before blowing his nose loudly. 

Because he loves you and he feels like he should have noticed that something was that wrong. He feels so bad about yelling at you. 

He just seemed so mad at me, Justin said softly, his eyes locked on the patterns of the bedspread. I thought he was going to kick me out for screwing up so I left before he could. 

Josh took Justins face in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eye. We are NEVER going to do that, Justin. NEVER. 

Justins gaze slipped to a point behind Joshs head, focusing on that instead of Joshs eyes. 

Im sorry that I cant believe that, he whispered. I really am. 

Josh hugged him again. So am I, sweetie. So am I.   
  
---  
  
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	42. Chapter Forty-One

Justin walked into the kitchen, stopping when he saw Chris sitting at the table smoking a cigarette and grading some papers. The two of them hadnt really talked about the fight the other day. They hadnt really talked at all actually. 

Chris looked up for a moment then back down at the papers. He tapped the cigarette on the edge of a cup, ashing in it. 

I brought your homework, he gestured towards a couple books with his cigarette. Ill turn it in for you tomorrow if you finish it. 

Thanks, Justin sat down, reaching for the pack of cigarettes and taking one. He held it up. Is it okay if I snag one? 

Chris didnt even look up, just shrugged. Theyre Joshs anyway so knock yourself out. 

Can we talk, Chris? 

Chris looked up this time, taking his glasses off so he could look at Justin. He took a long drag on the cigarette then nodded. 

We probably should talk again eventually. 

Justin nodded, lighting the cigarette with the pack of matches on the table. He looked at them, smiling a little. 

Renatas, he put them back down on the table. How is Danielle? 

Chris seemed slightly taken aback by that, not expecting Justin to start there. 

Shes good. I had lunch with her yesterday. Why are you starting off like this, Justin? 

Justins face fell a little and he looked down at the table. Because I just miss talking to you about everything. I guess I should just apologize and get out of your hair. 

Before Chris can say anything, Justin stood up again. So...sorry for being a jerk, getting you in trouble with the principle and saying I hate you. I dont at all. I love you and I am so grateful for everything youve done for me. Ill be in my room. 

Chris jaw dropped open and he quickly stubbed out his cigarette, following Justin.   
Justin. Please wait. 

Justin stopped at the steps, turning to look at Chris. He didnt know what to say so he just stood there, fidgeting. 

Come back into the kitchen with me, Chris held out his hand, hoping that Justin would take it. Ill make us some coffee. 

Justin tentatively took Chris hand, letting the older man lead him back into the kitchen. 

Chris sat him down and went about making the coffee, his hands shaking a little but his movements were quick and sure. 

I was so angry at you, he said quietly. When they came to get me that day. I just couldnt believe that you would do something so brash and reckless like beating someone up. I didnt think it was in you to be that...violent towards another person. 

Chris looked at him now, leaning against the counter. I put my ass on the line for you again, Justin. I tried to keep you from getting suspended, tried to keep you from getting in any trouble for this and in the end, I ended up getting in trouble as well. I got blamed for the fact that you beat up Greg and Scott. I am the one dealing with those kids parents, trying to keep them from pressing charges against you. God, Justin. 

Chris stopped, running his fingers through his hair. He blew out a breath of air through his lips loudly. 

And Im so scared that Im going to lose you. 

The small, scared tone of Chris voice is what finally made Justin look at him again. Chris brown eyes were filled with unshed tears and his chin was shaking a little. 

Look, Chris managed to keep his voice from shaking too much. I love you, Justin and Im worried about you. I cant ask you to trust me because I know that you dont trust anyone anymore and thats okay. I just want you to tell me when things get to be more then you can handle. 

I do trust you, Justin whispered. Honest. 

Chris turned and poured the coffee, setting a cup in front of Justin. You dont really have to trust me. The relationship we have isnt based on trust. 

How can you say its not based on trust? asked Justin angrily. Everything Ive told you, stuff Ive never told anyone before. How can you say that I dont trust you? 

You dont act like it. Chris made himself a cup of coffee as well, getting the sugar and half and half out for them. 

Jesus Christ, Justin muttered angrily, reaching for the sugar. You and Josh are two of the people I do trust in my life. I thought that was pretty obvious but I guess I was wrong. 

I dont like fighting with you, Chris looked at him seriously. It doesnt make for an easy time. 

Im sorry. Justin mumbled into his coffee. 

Im sorry too. 

Justin sipped at the coffee, thinking about everything Chris had said to him and wondering why he hadnt been told some of the stuff before. Like about Scott and Gregs parents pressing charges against him. 

"I want to trust you, Justin whispered. Im just afraid to really trust you. To some extent, I do trust both you and Josh. But, he looked down, ashamed. In many other ways, I cant ever imagine trusting you, trusting anyone again. 

Not even Lance? 

Justin nodded in affirmation. Not even Lance but he doesnt know that. I...I havent told him about the trust stuff. 

I think you should. 

I cant. 

Chris sighed softly, setting his mug on the table. All relationships are based on trust. Without it, theres no way that they can succeed.   
    
Do you tell Josh everything? asked Justin, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. 

Most of the time, yes. If the situation calls for him not to know, I dont tell him. For example, when you told me you were gay but you didnt want Josh to know, I didnt tell him about that. 

Justin twisted his coffee mug in his hand. So this morning, after The Price is Right I called my mother. 

Chris froze. You...you called her? 

Justin nodded. And I talked to her too. I told her what happened, how I was suspended. She told me that Pauls car was having problems and that they were thinking of getting a cat. 

Thats...good, Chris said, almost questioningly. Right? 

I guess so. She didnt yell at me or anything. She didnt even bring it up at all, Justin smiled a little. Maybe...maybe shell talk to me about it someday. Im just glad she talked to me at all this morning. 

Im glad too, Chris smiled, reaching over to squeeze Justins hand. Its a start and thats the important thing. 

So Im gonna try to talk to you more about things and not hide that Im upset. Talking makes things easier. 

Chris gave him a big smile that time. Im always here to listen. Thats a promise. 

I know it is. Justin smiled back at him.   
    


* * *

You smell funny, Joey said with a grin, hugging Justin tightly. I missed you, sport. 

Sport, Justin glared at him. What are you my father? 

Nope. Im your drug dealer and your best friend, remember? Or has being trapped in a house for a week watching soap operas and cheesy game shows fried your mind? 

Hey, I mowed the lawn. Justin protested, still smiling though. It was good to get to see Joey. The grounding had gone through despite his protests. It turned out his father agreed with Chris grounding him and supported the decision. Today was the first day that Chris and Josh had let him have anyone over. 

Joey looked out the front door. You missed a spot. Like the whole front yard. 

Blow me, Fatone, Justin said with a grin on his face. Like you even offer to mow the lawn for your parents. At least I do that for mine. 

Joey stopped and looked at him strangely for a moment, then shook his head, smiling widely. 

So lets go out back and have a smoke. Chris and Josh arent home, right? 

Justin shook his head. Theyre at Chris fathers for the day. 

I thought you said Chris hated his father. Joey asked, following Justin through the house to the backyard. 

He does, Justin opened the backdoor and gestured to the backyard. So where do you want to smoke? 

They need a pool, Joey said matter of factly as he sat on the steps. It would make the backyard totally kick ass. 

Justin shook his head, sitting down next to Joey. I think Josh likes his garden too much to dig it up for a pool. Though, Chris sisters would like it. 

Joey lit the joint, taking a long drag on it before handing it to Justin. 

Youre changing, man. Not in a bad way or anything, but you are changing. Youre accepting this more, Joey exhaled, looking over at him. You almost seem to like where you are now. 

Justin frowned at that. Id still rather my mom accept who I am, Joey. 

Well obviously, Joey rolled his eyes at that. I mean, who wouldnt want their parents to love them unconditionally. But man, you got two people besides your parents who do. Chris takes shit for you and still sticks up for your sorry ass. 

What do you mean? 

Hes in trouble at school, Joey took the joint back from him. I dont know the details because everythings a rumour still, but it sounds like they are putting him on probation for some reason. Something about him taking responsibility for your actions and by doing that, charges were dropped against you. Its all vague. 

Fuck, Justin muttered, looking at the ground. He mentioned that he got in trouble with Mr. Greene but he never told me all of that. Why does he do that for me? 

Because he cares about you, Joey shrugged again, handing the joint back to Justin. Its all a normal parent reaction. At least a normal parent reaction my parents would have. 

But Chris and Josh arent my parents. 

No, Joey said slowly, looking over at Justin. Theyre not. But theyre going to do parent stuff and have parent reactions. Thats just the way it is. 

But... Justin trailed off, looking at the joint again before taking a drag. Im just some kid who happened to fall into their laps at a bad time. 

Youre not just some kid to them. Joey took the joint back, holding it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger as he inhaled the very end. 

Well I should be. 

Joey shook his head, standing up and walking over to Joshs garden, looking at it a little closer. 

Did you hear any recent gossip or have you been totally frozen out? 

Totally frozen out. Justin said, happy that Joey was changing the subject. 

Joey looked back at him, weighing his choices. Well, you want to hear it from me or someone else? 

Hear what? 

Joey chewed on the inside of his cheek. Britneys dating someone. I thought you should know. 

Shes allowed to date someone, Justin said quietly, trying not to let the fact he was suddenly and inexplicably jealous be noticed. Who is it? 

Uh, Joey looked at his feet. Jeff...Timmons. 

Justin looked up at him in surprise. Shes dating Jeff? 

Joey nodded, walking back over to him and sitting down. You okay with that? 

Why wouldnt I be? I mean, I have no say over who she can and cant date. Jeffs a nice guy. Hell be good for her. Stable. Smart. Attractive. Theyll be good for each other. 

Justin knew he was speaking too fast to sound convincing but he hoped that the pot had kicked in enough for Joey to let that go. 

Yeah man. Sure, Joey patted Justins shoulder. When youre ready to talk about how you really feel, let me know. Josh make anything good to eat recently? Im starving. 

Last night was roast beef. You interested? I can make sandwiches or something? 

Oh man that sounds good, Joey moaned, grabbing Justins hand and hauling him up. I havent had roast beef in ages. Moms boycotting red meat for some reason. I dont get it.   
    
That really sucks, Justin opened the back door again. Ill get you all nice and filled up with meat.   
    
Joey snorted at that.   
    
Pervert. Justin pushed him.   
  

* * *

You are a baby, Howie stated, his arms crossed as he looked at AJ with amusement on his face. How did you manage to get them pierced in the first place? 

You know, you could stand there and laugh at me or you could help me put this back in.   
    
Fine, Howie rolled his eyes, taking the small ring from AJ. Are you sure you cant do this yourself?   
    
Im sure.   
    
Howie pushed AJ so he was lying down on the couch. Tell me if I hurt you any.   
    
Nick and Lance looked on with amusement. So the polite thing would be to tell them that were standing here watching. Lance whispered in Nicks ear.   
    
Yeah, Nick agreed. But the right thing would be to take pictures.   
    
I agree. Lance held up the video camera. Filming it would work too. 

Nick grinned and nudged Lance in the side.   
    
Howie was bent over AJs chest, straddling his waist as he concentrated.   
    
Careful, AJ warned. Theyre really sensitive still.   
    
I cant get it in. The holes too small. Howie sighed, a little annoyed.   
    
Pinch the nipple, AJ suggested. That might help.   
    
Howie sighed and pinched AJs nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He tried to thread the ring through the small hole again, pressing on the skin.   
    
Ow! AJ jumped. Not there. Thats not where it goes.   
    
Howie sat back up, blowing air out angrily. He brushed his hair back and put a hand over AJs mouth.   
    
Shut up and pinch your own damn nipple.   
    
Nick covered his mouth to keep from laughing at that. Lance was snickering as well, zooming in as close as he could without actually walking into the room and disturbing them.   
    
AJ mumbled something against Howies hand but reached up and pinched his nipple for Howie.   
    
There. Now I can see better, Howie stuck his tongue between his teeth and leaned over as he concentrated. A moment later, he straightened back up, smiling widely.   
    
There. I got it in. He took his hand away from AJs mouth.   
    
OW! AJ howled. It hurts! Take it out! Take it out! 

Howie sighed and took the ring back out. Put it in. Take it out. Jeez, AJ. Make up your mind.   
    
Out. Definitely out. AJ took the ring back and looked at it sadly. I paid good money for that ring.   
    
You still have one, Howie sighed, climbing off of AJ. At least thats something.   
    
AJ sat up as well, still looking at the ring sadly. It doesnt look stupid with just one?   
    
Howie groaned and looked back at AJs chest. It looks fine with just one. The tattoo takes away from the one nipple ring.   
    
Oh good, AJ smiled, pulling his shirt back on over his head. Well hey. I have a new earring now.   
    
Great. Dont ever ask me to get that close to your chest again, Howie glared at him. That was just wrong.   
    
You know you love my chest, AJ grinned at him. Everytime you fall asleep in my bed with me, you end up with your head on my chest.   
    
Howie blushed hotly at that. I do not.   
    
Thats when Howie noticed Lance and Nick holding the video camera. He started to blush even more.   
    
I hate you guys. Turn that off.   
    
AJ whipped around to look at them. You guys suck.   
    
Lance and Nick just laughed, running away with the video camera, Howie and AJ chasing after them.   
  
---  
  
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	43. Chapter Forty-Two

Calm down, Josh, Chris said into the phone, his voice low. He was sitting in the teachers lounge after getting a call from Josh. Now Josh was panicking. Just take a deep breath and tell me whats wrong. 

Josh was taking huge, gulping breaths, clutching at the phone with his knuckles turning white. He was sitting in his office with the door locked, trying to keep everyone away from him. 

They fired me, he managed to get out. They called me into the fucking main office, thanked me for my time with them and fucking fired me! 

Okay baby. Its alright, Chris said soothingly. We were preparing for this possibility. Everything will be just fine. Can you relax for me? 

Chris, Josh sobbed into the phone. What am I going to do? 

Chris closed his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Why dont you go to your grandparents for a little bit? Have Gram fuss over you and take care of you. 

Josh nodded, still crying. O...okay. I love you. 

I love you too, baby. Ill call you at lunchtime, okay? 

Okay, Josh said weakly, sniffling. I love you. 

I love you too, Chris said again. Im going to hang up now, alright. 

Okay, Josh wiped at his eyes again. Ill be at Grams. 

Chris hung up the phone and sat back in the chair heavily, his eyes still closed. He put his hand over his face, squeezing his temples. 

Chris, Megan said softly, reaching over to touch his shoulder. Is everything okay? 

Chris moved his hand away and looked at her. Not at all. They just laid Josh off. 

Oh Chris, Megan wrapped her arms around him, hugging him gently. Tell Josh Im so sorry. 

I will, Chris hugged her back weakly. I have to get back to my class. I left them doing a problem that was way too hard for them to keep them busy. 

If you need to talk, Megan said, squeezing his hand. Im here for you. 

Thanks. 

Chris walked out of the room, heading in the general direction of his classroom. He knew that Justins English class was on the way and he needed to tell him what was going on. He knocked on the classroom door, motioning for Mr. Miller to come to the door. 

Hello, Chris, Mark Miller said, looking at him strangely. Chris never showed up at his classroom. What can I do for you? 

Can I talk to Justin for a moment? 

Timberlake or Jeffre? 

Timberlake, Chris said, drumming his fingers against the wall. I didnt realize you had both of them. 

Yup, Mark smiled. Ill get him. He poked his head back into the classroom. Mr. Timberlake. Can you come here please? 

Justin looked up, jumping a little when he heard his name. He stood up and walked over to the door, grinning a little when he saw Chris. 

Mark shut the door, going back into the classroom and leaving Chris and Justin outside. 

Whats up? Justin asked immediately, noticing the expression on Chris face. Between that and the fact he came to get him during class while he was supposed to be teaching kind of tipped him off that something was wrong.   
    
Josh was laid off this morning, Chris said quietly. I thought you should know. It might not be the best idea to bring anyone home tonight. 

Oh shit, Justin said, louder then he meant to. He clapped his hand over his mouth. I mean. Oh shit. 

Yeah. Thats about the reaction I had. Well...not when I was on the phone with him. 

Is Josh okay? 

Not really, Chris admitted. We were expecting this but its still a shock to actually have it happen. 

Are you okay? 

Chris shrugged a little. I dont know yet. Im feeling a little numb. I think its less of a shock to me then to him but its still not a good thing. The last time we lived on one salary, he was still in college and our only major monthly expense was the mortage payment. 

I can get my job back, Justin said honestly. That way Im at least putting a little money into the household. 

As of right now you dont have to do that. Well be okay. I just needed to let you know so you dont show up with Joey or Lance this afternoon. 

Justin nodded, looking down at the ground. Tell Josh I love him. Ill skip practice today and come home with you. 

You definitely dont have to do that, Justin. Chris squeezed his shoulder. 

No. I want to. Ill meet you in your classroom after the last bell. 

Chris decided there was really no reason to argue with him at this point. It might do some good to have Justin home with them this afternoon. 

Alright, Chris nodded. Ill see you in class.   
  

* * *

  
Josh wandered around the house slowly, looking at furniture and curtains and pillows. He started to rearrange pictures and knicknacks, moving things that probably shouldnt be moved. He had just started rearranging the dining room when Justin and Chris got home. 

Honey? Chris called out, seeing a box by the front door. 

Im in the dining room. 

Chris put his briefcase down, dropping it next to the box of Joshs stuff. He knew thats what it was. On top of the box was a picture of the two of them. Justin followed him into the dining room, hanging back a little. 

Josh turned to look at Chris, holding a plate in his hand. Hi. 

Hi, honey, Chris said, watching as Josh moved the plates from one cabinet to another. What are you up to? 

I didnt like how these looked, Josh said to him, starting to move the wine glasses around. So I decided to change them. 

"Alright, Chris looked at Justin for a moment who just shrugged in response. Do you want to go sit down? Maybe talk for a bit? 

Oh Im too busy to do that, Josh said airily. I have to move all this china and glassware around. Its such a mess. 

Chris reached out and took the wine glasses Josh had in his hands and put them on the table. He led Josh out of the dining room and into the living room. 

Im right in the middle of something, Chris, Josh saw Justin following them. Justin! Hey. I thought you had baseball practice today? 

I do, Justin said, sitting down on a chair facing the couch. I skipped today. 

Thats not good, Josh said, letting Chris sit him down. You should go to practices. 

Its okay to skip one day. 

Did you take a Valium when you got home, hon? asked Chris, taking Joshs hand in his own. 

Yeah, Josh looked sheepish. I really needed one. 

Okay. Thats fine. I just wanted to check so I dont give you any alcohol or anything. 

Gram sent me back with food. So we have dinner made for us. Josh closed his eyes, resting his head on Chris shoulder. 

Alright then, Chris looked over at Justin for a moment. Do you want to talk now? 

Ill start looking for another job tomorrow, Josh sighed. I have a six week severance package but I dont want to have to rely on that. I want a new job as soon as I can get it. 

What about the job at your fathers company? 

I wasnt fired in time, Josh said a little bitterly. Excuse me let go in time. They hired someone else. I have a line on a few jobs. 

Okay, Chris smoothed Joshs short hair gently. For now, everything is pretty much the same. We just have to be a little more conscious of what we spend money on. 

Im sorry, Josh said softly. I let you both down. 

No you didnt, Chris said quickly, turning Joshs face so he was looking at him. This stuff happens all the time. It wasnt your fault that you lost your job. The company was laying off people. Like I said, this happens all the time. 

I still feel like I let you down. I couldnt even keep my job, Josh shook his head. Christ, Im an engineer. I should be able to keep a job. 

Chris didnt say anything this time. He just sighed softly and held Josh in his arms. Justin chewed on his lip, feeling out of place but not really feeling like he should be anywhere else. This involved him too. 

Justin got up and sat on the other side of Josh, putting his arms around him as well. Chris looked at him gratefully before closing his eyes and resting his head against Joshs.   
  

* * *

  
Justin tossed the car keys from one hand to the other, waiting for Lance to answer the door. 

Justin, Diane smiled, opening the door for him. How many times have I told you to just walk in? 

Sorry Diane, Justin hugged her, kissing her cheek lightly. Next time, I swear Ill just walk in and be rude. 

Its not rude, Diane chuckled. Lance is upstairs. 

Thanks. Justin headed upstairs, pausing to pet the Basses dog as he stepped over her. He knocked softly on Lances door.   
    
Come in. Lance called out, pulling a shirt over his head. He grinned when he saw Justin walk in. 

Youre early. 

Sorry, Justin smiled, walking over and wrapping his arms around Lance, kissing him deeply. I couldnt sit at home anymore. 

Hows Josh? 

Well, Justin sighed, sitting down on the bed to wait for Lance to finish getting ready. Hes currently trying to convince Chris that they should run away and join a group of traveling mimes. Chris is trying to get him to take another Valium. 

Damn, Lance winced, buttoning up his khakis. Hes not taking this very well is he? 

Justin shook his head. When we got home today, he was sitting on the living room floor in boxers and a dirty T-shirt eating cold spaghettios out of a can. He hadnt even shaved today. 

I never thought I would see Josh fall apart. Hes always so calm and rational about everything. 

Chris said this is normal, Justin shrugged. He said that the same thing happened when Josh's parents separated. He said that Joshll be better in a few days. 

Okay, Lance ran his fingers through his hair, spiking it up. As long as Chris thinks everything is okay, I guess it is. 

Justin stood up, wrapping his arms around Lances waist from behind. He kissed his neck, looking at their reflection in the mirror. 

We look good together. He remarked, smiling at the Lance in the mirror. 

Yes we do, Lance smiled back. So this is probably going to sound stupid but we are going to go to the prom together, right? 

Of course, Justin kissed his neck again. I wouldnt miss the chance to see you in a tux. I bet youll look sexy as hell. 

You keep kissing my neck and we wont be making it to the party tonight, Lance turned his head to kiss Justin deeply. And I know that would disappoint Kevin and Brian. 

How about we just make out in the car for awhile? 

Whos car do you have anyway? Lance turned in his arms so they were face to face now. 

Chris. Justin slid his hands down Lances back, pressing him close. 

Tiny backseat, Lance grinned, rolling his hips against Justins. You should have brought Joshs car. 

I got a better idea, Justin licked at his neck. We lock your bedroom door and I go down on you right now. 

That would be acceptable, Lance tilted his head to the side to give Justin more access. Ill be careful not to scream like usual. 

Good plan. Be right back. Justin let go of him and ran over to the door, locking it and then sliding a chair in front of it just in case. He was back a moment later, his lips sucking at Lances neck again. 

I love you, Justin. said Lance breathlessly. 

I love you too. Justin said, dropping to his knees in front of Lance, his hands already unbuttoning the khakis Lance had so recently put on. 

Lance sighed happily, his hand resting on Justins head. Justin pushed Lances pants and boxers down, kissing his hip bone softly. Lance was already half-hard when Justin wrapped his hand around his erection, licking slowly around the head. 

Lance groaned and leaned back against the wall, thankful that they were close enough to it for him to have some sort of support. Hes never been that good at staying standing when someones going down on him; especially Justin. 

Justin licked down the sides of Lances erection before taking him into his mouth and moving down on him, swallowing and sucking the whole way. He knew how to make a blowjob good by now and he knew exactly when Lance liked to have done. 

Fuck, Lance mumbled, his hand tangling in Justins curly hair. Dont stop. 

I wasnt planning on it. Justin grinned up at him, his hand still moving slowly. He takes Lance back into his mouth, holding him close and sucking hard now. 

Lance tensed up, his back tight and his legs shaking. Justin knew he was close by the way he was holding himself and by the way he was breathing. He quickened his movements, reaching behind Lance to run a finger between his tense buttocks. Lance groaned again and relaxed enough to let Justin slip a finger inside of him, thrusting slowly. 

That set Lance off and he brought his hand up to his mouth, biting down hard to keep from crying out Justins name as he came. 

Justin swallowed quickly, licking and cleaning Lance up before pulling his boxers and pants back up, tucking his shirt back in and zipping the pants up. 

Holy shit. Lance sighed, his head resting against the wall. Justin stood back up, kissing him lightly. 

Ready to go? 

Lance held up a finger. Give me a minute. I cant go downstairs like this. Damn, Justin. 

Justin just laughed and hugged him tightly.   
  

* * *

So then he said, but you cant do that. Youre not a dentist! AJ started to laugh at his own joke but everyone else just kind of looked at him. The girl he was trying to impress turned to her friend and began talking to her instead. 

Crap, AJ pouted, walking away from the group of people and over to Howie. What am I doing wrong? 

I dont even know where to start. Howie shook his head and handed him another beer. 

Its not like there are women flocking to you, Dorough, AJ pouted, sipping his beer. Youre obviously not doing anything right either. 

Dude, Howie patted AJs shoulder. Im not even trying. 

Let me show you how its done, Justin said, handing his beer to Lance. Pick a girl. I bet I can get her number. 

Kevin nudged Lance. You going to let him do this shit? 

Why not? I already got a blowjob tonight. Lance grinned at Kevin waiting for the inevitable wince. It came a moment later when Kevin processed what he said. 

Fuck that, Nick said, handing his beer off to Christina. I bet I can get any girls number here faster then you can. 

Well I bet that I can get more numbers then all of yall put together. Kevin spoke up, handing his beer to Kristen who just scowled. 

Can I play? asked Joey, looking at Christina hopefully. 

Nope. Christina smiled sweetly. 

Will you make it up to me later? Joey batted his eyelashes at her. 

Christina just laughed and shook her head. No way. Im on the rag. Tonight its just you and your hand unless Justin and Lance will let you play with them. 

Joey looked over at Lance for a moment. Um. Thats okay. Ill be alright. 

Are you sure? Lance put his hand on Joeys shoulder. Justin gives killer blowjobs. 

Joey paled slightly. Well...Ill just let you have that honour. Ill, umm, anyone want a beer? 

Joey ducked away, heading back over to where the beer was. 

I think you scared him, Kevin said matter-of-factly. Didnt know that was possible. 

Are we doing this or not? asked Nick, bouncing lightly on his feet. I want to prove that I got better moves then the gay boy and the practically married boy. 

Im playing too, AJ handed Howie his beer. I can get numbers. 

Cool, Kevin grinned at him. AJ can be the control since hes not going to get shit. 

AJ pushed him hard. Lets go. You, me, Carter, and Timberlake. Well meet back here in an hour. The person with the most numbers wins...what do we win? 

Ill smoke you up for free, Christina grinned. And itll be the good shit too. 

Sounds good to me. Kevin stuck his hand out, waiting for the others to shake his hand. Nick, Justin, and AJ all shook and they took off in opposite directions. 

Well, Christina took a sip of Nicks beer, making a face. This should be interesting. Side bets anyone? 

AJs not going to get shit. Howie commented, looking at the two beers in his hands. He chugged one and put it aside, holding the other one. 

Justins never done this, Christina said. My money is on either Kevin or Nick. 

My money is on Nick, Kristen spoke up, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Because if Kevin knows whats good for him, he wont win. 

They watched Kristen stalk away. I do not like that girl. Lance shook his head. 

Oops. AJ just got slapped.   
  

* * *

  
Christina dangled the bag of pot teasingly. I had to blow Joey for this so you better have the goods. 

I got the goods, Kevin grinned. Who goes first? 

Start with AJ. Howie laughed, shoving his best friend lightly. 

Fuck you, AJ mumbled. I got two numbers. He held out his hand so they could see. 

Man, thats Britneys number. Joey said. You got one number. 

Fuck you all. AJ crossed his arms and sat back. 

What do you got, Kevin? Joey turned to him, waiting to see. 

I got seven. Kevin grinned, winking at Kristen who didnt even smile. Here you go. All different and none of them are Britneys. 

I said and I quote, fuck you all. AJ repeated, resting his head on Howies shoulder. Howie just patted his arm comfortingly. 

Looks good to me, Joey said, handing the list to Christina. None of them are in your handwriting and all the numbers are different. Can either of you beat that? 

Nick pouted and took a drink of his beer. I have six. 

Okay. So Kevin beats you, Joey smiled. Christina waved the pot around again. What do you have Justin? 

Fifteen. Justin said, grinning innocently. 

Let me see that. Kevin grabbed Justins scraps of napkins away from him, going through them quickly. He grumbled and shoved them at Joey. 

You know, Joey said, looking at them. The gay boy picked up more women then all three of you combined. Thats just sad. 

Woo! Justin thrust his fist into the air triumphantly. Gimme my pot. 

Christina handed him the bag easily. 

Lance slipped his arm around Justins waist, kissing his jaw. I knew I had the sexiest boyfriend around. Good job, baby. 

You are a catch, Timberlake. Joey grinned at him. You can pick up chicks and give mind-blowing head. 

I should get business cards made up. Justin laughed.   
  
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	44. Chapter Forty-Three

Justin yawned a little as he walked down the upstairs hall to Chris and Joshs bedroom. The door was slightly open which meant that one or possibly both of them were awake. He knocked softly, pushing the door open. 

Chris looked up at him from the book he was reading, his glasses perched on his nose. 

Oh, Justin said softly, seeing that Josh was still asleep, his face buried in the pillow and his arm thrown over Chris waist. Sorry. 

No, its okay, Chris said smiling. Hes fast asleep. Come on in. 

Justin leaned nervously against the door frame watching as Chris gently stroked Joshs arm, waiting for Justin to say something else. They almost seemed to communicate through touches sometimes, not having to say anything to each other. He could see Joshs fingers brushing against Chris side even in his sleep. 

I kind of wanted to talk to you about something. I made coffee. Justin gestured towards the downstairs. 

Sure, Chris said, lifting Joshs arm and slipping out from underneath him. He was only wearing boxers and he shivered a little, grabbing his robe. 

Justin blushed and turned away, waiting for Chris to put some clothes on. A moment later, he felt a hand on his back and he looked over at Chris who was smiling at him. 

Thanks for making coffee. 

Justin nodded as they walked down the hall. I already had a couple cups. 

I can tell, Chris grinned. Youre talking in the morning. He looked up at the hall clock as they passed. Why **are** you up so early on a Sunday? Usually Im the only freak in this house up at 8 on a weekend. 

I couldnt sleep, Justin blushed a little. Besides, Lance is snoring a bit and that woke me up. 

Chris laughed as they walked into the kitchen, making a beeline for the coffeepot. Youll get used to the snoring after you two share a bed more often. Josh did. 

I already got yours ready. Justin said, pointing at the mug on the table. 

Chris raised an eyebrow. What if Josh had been the one who was awake? 

Justin pointed at the mug on the counter with a pack of cigarettes next to it. I was prepared for that. 

You really need to talk, dont you? 

Justin nodded, sitting down at the table. Promise not to get embarrassed? 

Chris paused with his mug halfway between the table and his lips. Are we having a sex talk, Justin? 

Justin blushed. Umm...yeah? Is that okay? 

Chris blushed as well. Uh yeah. Its okay, he took a sip of coffee. I thought you and Lance were already...having sex? 

Well, we are. Just not...that, Justin looked over at him. You know what I mean? 

Chris nodded. Give me a sec to think about how to talk about this with you. Ive never given a gay sex talk before. Ive given the sex talk to all my sisters, well not Taylor, at this point, but never a gay sex talk. 

Do you mind? I feel weird asking Lance about this. 

Chris cleared his throat. Has he...done that before? 

Yes. Justin said softly. 

Well, Chris took another sip of coffee. I guess my first question is whether **you** are ready or not? 

Justin nodded. Im ready. I wouldnt be asking you about it if I wasnt ready. 

Okay. Well thats good. So you know the mechanics of it, right? 

Yeah. I just want to know how to make it feel good. It hurts, doesnt it? 

Chris chewed on his lip. It can. At first. Im not going to lie about that. But it feels really, **really** good after a bit. Can I ask you a question without you getting embarrassed? 

Justin nodded, watching Chris carefully, seeing a little pink tingeing the older mans cheeks. 

Has Lance ever touched you, Chris closed his eyes. Down there? With his fingers at all? 

Oh, Justin coughed, putting his coffee mug down. Chris opened one eye and looked at him. Yeah. Sometimes when hes...going down on me, hell...umm...do that. 

Do you like that? 

Justin nodded. Yeah, he blushed. That feels **really** good. 

Thats good. Okay. Another embarrassing question. I do have a point to asking this stuff. Honest, Chris said, looking over at Justin, who just nodded. How many fingers has he used in you? 

Oh man, Justin said softly. Maybe this wasnt such a good idea. 

Chris nodded. Maybe youre right. Just trust me that when you and Lance do that, it will be right and it will feel good. 

Hes used two. Justin said quickly, not looking up at Chris. 

Chris winced. Apparently Justin did want to continue this conversation. He chewed on his lip again, trying to decide where to go with this now. 

Two still felt good, right? 

Justin nodded. 

Okay. Well, before you plan on going all the way, make sure you do that. It will loosen you up and it will also get you used to having something inside. And lube. Lots of lube. 

Where would I get lube? 

Chris sighed softly. You can get KY at a drugstore. If you want, Ill get you some this time, but next time you need to buy it yourself. 

Thanks. Justin said to him, his voice sounding grateful. Chris reached over to touch Justins shoulder, getting his attention. 

You know you can come to me about anything, right? Chris smiled a little. Actually, I think I know that answer since you came to me about this. 

Justin just nodded, still a little embarrassed about all of this. Can I ask one more question? 

Sure, Chris said, drinking his coffee. Ask me anything. 

Is one person always on top and one person always on the bottom? Who does what between you and Josh? 

Oh boy, Chris said, looking down at the table. Okay. It depends on who likes what. Josh and I switch. Thats what a lot of relationships are like. 

So I know Lance has done both, Justin said. How do I know what I want to do? 

You only know after you try. I wish I could be more help then that. Do you want Lance to...umm... 

Be in me? Justin asked, his voice almost hopeful. 

Yeah. Thats what I was trying to say. 

Justin nodded. Yes. Does that make me the girl or something? 

No, Chris said emphatically. It just makes you gay, he grins a little. But we already knew that. 

Justin laughed, feeling the nervousness leave him. I think thats fairly obvious at this point. 

So do you have this occasion planned or are you just ready now and wanted to talk about it? 

The prom is in two weeks, Justin blushed again. Would that be like completely cliché? 

Chris grinned widely. Nope. I think thats a great time. So I should get you some lube before then? 

Umm...probably, Justin blushed again. Thanks. 

Do you need condoms too? 

No, Justin shook his head. Condoms I have. I mean, I was sleeping with Britney for almost three years. Im totally comfortable with buying them. 

Three years? Wow, Chris took a sip of coffee. I guess I didnt realize that you had been sleeping with her that long. 

The scary thing is I started sleeping with her around the same time I admitted I was gay to myself, Justin slumped down in his chair, yawning again. 

Denial through actions. You arent be the first gay man to do that. I did it for years. Chris admitted, drinking more coffee. 

Did you like sleeping with girls? asked Justin softly. 

Chris nodded. Yeah. It wasnt like it was something I absolutely **hated** doing. It was just once I admitted that I liked guys and then actually slept with a guy, that I knew that it wasnt what I wanted to do. Dani and I have slept together since we broke up though. 

Really? Justin looked at him in surprise. Ive never even thought about sleeping with Britney again since we broke up. 

Youve also been dating Lance since the two of you broke up, Chris pointed out. And me and Dani, it was kind of a loneliness thing. It was about three months before I met Josh. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and she had just broken up with hers. We were drinking and lamenting about our fucked up lives and it just happened. Weve never even considered doing it since then. 

I liked having sex with Britney, admitted Justin. It was fun. We learned how to do it together. We were both virgins so it wasnt fun at first. But we learned. 

Im glad you two are friends again. I know that you really did love her. 

Justin nodded, taking another drink of his coffee. Yeah. I missed her a lot. 

Oh, Chris said suddenly. I talked to your father the other day. You had a game. It was the one I missed and Josh went to alone. 

I need to call him, Justin winced. I totally forgot to last week. 

We were just talking about the college stuff again. Figuring out who was going to pay what and all that stuff. He got all the loans he applied for so it looks like Josh and I arent going to be doing all that much. Just pretty much the stuff you need to take to college. I think were going to cover textbooks and supplies. 

You guys dont have to do that, Justin said. I know that you dont have that kind of money right now since Josh lost his job. 

Josh has an interview tomorrow, Chris said, ignoring the rest of Justins protest. I think theres a pretty good chance hell get this one. 

Justin nodded, not wanting to really say anything. Chris had said the same thing about every interview Josh had gone on in the last two weeks. 

Chris reached over and nudged Justin gently. So as well as talking about school, we talked about graduation. Has he talked about that with you yet? 

Justin shook his head a little glumly. He was pretty sure that none of his family was going to be here for graduation. 

Well, the plan is that theyre all coming down for it. Your grandparents too. 

Justins jaw dropped. All of them? Jon and Steven too? 

Chris nodded, smiling at him. Hes glad that he got to be the one to tell Justin this news, to see the expression on his face. 

He said that Jonathon is dying to see you.   
    
Where are they staying? asked Justin, still completely surprised and in awe. 

Here, Chris shrugged. Somehow. I think that were going to have to put your grandparents in your room. The couch in the living room folds out into a double bed for your parents. The kids can stay in the playroom with you since were probably going to have to stick you there. 

Oh thank you, Chris. Justin threw his arms around Chris neck, squeezing tightly. I have to go tell Lance. 

Okay, Chris laughed, patting Justins back. Ill be back in my room if you need anything. 

Justin squeezed him again. Thank you. He said happily before scampering out of the room. 

Chris smiled as he heard him rushing up the steps. He finished his coffee and headed back upstairs to get back in bed with Josh.   
    


* * *

    
Make me an offer I cant refuse. Joey said in his best Marlon Brando voice as he talked to the tuxedo in front of him before turning over the tag to see how much it cost to rent it. 

Justin rolled his eyes. Youre a damn freak, Fatone. 

And I can refuse that. Joey made a face. 

What about powder blue? AJ said, fingering the tuxedo delicately. I think I can pull it off. 

Youre going with Amanda, right? Nick asked, looking at the tux in complete horror. What colour is she wearing? 

AJ nodded. Shes wearing...well. Actually I dont know what shes wearing. 

Shes a freak too, Nick shrugged. Get the powder blue if you really want it. Just promise me that you wont dye your hair to match. 

No way, AJ promised, playing with the ruffles. Im thinking orange would go great with this colour. 

Nick groaned and walked over to where Lance and Howie were looking at tuxedos. 

This fabric is divine, Lance murmured, touching one of the tuxedos. Feel this, Howie. 

Howie shrugged and rubbed the pant leg between his fingers. It feels...umm....nice? 

Nick reached out and touched it. Nice, he agreed. Poly-cotton blend? 

Lance turned and looked at him in surprise. Before he could say anything though, one of the salespeople swooped in. 

Actually yes. Its a light poly-cotton blend designed for warmer weather. Were you interested in this tuxedo? 

Nick looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. He cleared his throat and shifted a little. 

Uh. Yes? 

Howie tried to stifle a laugh as he pulled Lance away, leaving Nick in the clutches of the salesman. He was already measuring Nick. 

Do we want matching tuxes? asked Justin from across the room, looking over at Lance. 

Lance walked over to him, putting his arms around Justins waist and resting his head on his shoulder. 

What did you have in mind? 

I think this one is cool, Justin said, pointing it out. And I think it would look really good on you. 

Its nice, Lance agreed. It would look really good on you too. 

Justins dissing the idea of tails and a top hat, Joey shook his head. That boy has no class whatsoever. 

Are you going to do that? asked Lance, looking over at Joey. 

Joey nodded, grinning widely. Me and Chrissy are going to look so sharp this year. Her moms making her this sexy, little thing. Mmm...shes gonna be so damn sexy. 

You havent gotten laid in awhile have you, Joey? 

Joey shook his head. Its been awhile. Christinas all busy with school and stuff. She still wants to graduate as the valedictorian. 

I thought she had that locked up. Howie joined them looking at one of the tuxes Joey had set aside. 

I dunno, Joey shrugged a little. Shes busy right now. You know, being smart and all. Shes got to keep up her grades to keep the scholarship. 

Justin chewed on his lip lightly. He and Joey were going to have to talk later because something was obviously wrong right now. 

Well, Lance said brightly, trying to change the mood. It looks like Nick is getting the works. 

They all looked over at where Nick was being bombarded with choices of vests, shoes, pants, cufflinks and anything else the guy could find to make Nick spend money on. AJ was standing next to him, making suggestions. From the look on Nicks face whenever AJ said anything it was obvious that AJ wasnt helping matters any. 

Should we help him? 

Nah, Joey snorted. Hes got AJ to help him out. 

Man, then we should **definitely** help him out. Howie laughed, patting Joeys shoulder comfortingly as he walked over to where Nick and AJ were. 

Hey Joe, Justin said softly. Come home with me after this. 

Joey looked between them for a moment. Dont you two usually like hang out or something? 

Justin frowned a little. You can still hang out with both of us together, you know. The three of us are still best friends. 

Yeah. Were still best friends, Joey said, looking back at the tuxedo in front of him. So do you guys like the pinstripe or not? 

Lance took that as a cue to leave, letting go of Justin and walking over to where the other guys were. 

The pinstripe will look good on you, Justin said to him sadly. You can pull off that look. 

Joey looked over at him, nodding a little. Thanks. 

Look, Lance wont be over tonight. Please come home with me, Joey. I miss you. 

Joey licked his lips and then tilted his head a little in a slight gesture of agreement. 

Josh and Chris home? 

Yeah, Justin nodded. They dont go out much anymore. 

Alright, Joey chewed on his lip a little. So how do I get a salesman over here to help me out with this thing?   
    


* * *

    
Justin handed Joey a glass of soda before sitting down next to him on the back deck. 

You like it out here, dont you? he said, taking a drink of his soda and looking over at Joey. 

I like their backyard, Joey shrugged a little. Its nice. Relaxing. 

So whats up, Joe? 

Nothing. Joey kept his eyes on the garden, refusing to look over at Justin because if he did, Justin would know that he was lying through his teeth. Not that he didnt know anyway. 

Bullshit, Justin said, touching Joeys shoulder. Come on. Youre my brother. Talk to me. 

What do you want me to talk about? 

Justin sighed. Joey could be really good at being evasive when he wanted to be. 

Whats going on with you and Chrissy right now? 

Oh that, Joey waved his hand, gesturing weakly. Not much. Were just realizing that were going to be far away from each other next year. Were...were not sure what were going to do. 

Oh, Joey, Justin rubbed his back. Why didnt you tell me that this was going on? 

Jesus, Justin, Joey pulled away from him. Its not like I can ever talk to you alone anymore. Youre always busy with Lance or Chris and Josh. Fuck, half the time I dont think you remember Im here. 

Justin shrank back. I know youre here. 

Couldve fooled me, Joey mumbled, picking at the wood of the deck. I havent talked to you for real in ages. Not since you were suspended. 

We just hung out a few nights ago, Justin protested. We went out for pizza after the game. 

Yeah. You and me and half the baseball team. Im talking you and me alone without Lance or Christina or Britney or hell even Chris or Josh around. I miss you, Justin. Its not the same without you around. 

Im still here, Justin said weakly, realizing that Joey was making a very good case. Its just...things are different. 

Yeah, Joey nodded, squinting a little as he looks up at the sky. Things are different. But does that mean you have to leave me behind? 

I didnt realize that I was doing that, Justin looked down at his hands. Im sorry. I dont want to lose you, Joey. Youre my best friend. 

Joey stood up, looking at him. Do me a favour then. Start acting like my best friend again. Ill see you at school tomorrow. 

Justin watched him walk away before slumping heavily against the railing and trying not to cry.   
  
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	45. Chapter Forty-Four

Justin! Chris called out loudly, waving him towards the classroom. Justin held up one finger, talking quietly to Christina for a moment longer. 

Well talk more later, Christina said, touching his arm softly. At lunch. 

Okay, Justin nodded, heading over to where Chris was still standing in the doorway of his classroom. Whats up? 

Chris grabbed his arm and pulled him into the classroom, shutting the door behind him. 

Josh got a job! 

No way! Justin hugged Chris excitedly. This was very good news. Josh had been getting more and more dejected as the days went by without him getting a job. Which one? 

Remember the robotics firm he interviewed with last week? The one in downtown Orlando? 

Justin nodded. He was really interested in that one. 

Well, thats the one he got. He just called me not ten minutes ago to tell me. He sounds so much better already. 

I bet. This is such good news. 

Chris nodded, hopping up on his desk and swinging his legs happily. Were going out tonight to celebrate. Come with us. Its going to be a blast. 

I cant, Justin said apologetically. I know its important and itll really make Josh happy but I promised Joey that we would hang out after the game, just the two of us. 

Hey no, Chris squeezed his shoulder. Dont worry about it. The three of us will celebrate another time. You and Joey hang out and have fun. 

Thanks, Justin said almost gratefully. If this wasnt so important, I would blow it off in a second for this. 

You need to fix things with Joey, Chris hopped off the desk as the bell rang. Um. Oops. Ill write you a pass. 

Thanks, Justin smiled. Its for Senorita Maier so make it good. You know she doesnt like people to be late. 

Chris waved his hand dismissively. Jana loves me. Shell take a late note from me. And if she gives you trouble, tell her Ill bring in those cookies she likes so much. 

Do you bribe everyone with Joshs cookies? 

Chris chuckled as he handed Justin the note. Pretty much. I go with what works. 

Oh, Justin said, his hand on the door. He turned around. I guess you guys arent coming to the game today then? 

Chris shook his head. Well be there. We havent missed a game yet and were not going to start now. 

Justin smiled at him broadly. Thanks, Chris. 

Chris watched him leave, still smiling happily himself. This makes so many things better now.   
  

* * *

You suck at this game. Joey stated, putting the controller down and looking at Justin. You always suck at this game but not this bad. Are you letting me win? 

Joey, Justin sat up, looked at him seriously. Youve known me your whole life. Have I ever let someone win a game? 

You let me win a game of Go Fish when we were seven. 

Thats bull. Justin stood up and walked over to the desk, pulling out a pack of cards. Ill kick your ass at Go Fish now if you dont believe me. 

Dude, Joey shook his head. You let me win because I had the chicken pox. You even admitted as much to me. 

Yeah well I shouldnt have let you win because you gave me chicken pox. Justin shoved him lightly, grinning. 

And I know you let Lance win that one time we all played basketball together. He sucks ass at basketball. 

Justin blushed a little. It made him feel good beating me. Hes never beaten either of us at anything involving sports the whole time weve known him. I just wanted to make him smile. 

Youve really been in love with him for awhile, havent you? asked Joey softly, looking at the carpet as he talked. 

Yeah I have, Justin sat down next to him. I think Ive been in love with him since I met him. 

Jesus, Joey shook his head, still looking at the carpet. You have no idea how jealous I am of him these days. 

How come? Justin asked sadly, knowing that this wasnt going to be something he wanted to hear. 

Hes got your attention, Joey said softly. No matter what I do, I cant match up to Lance anymore. I cant give you the same things he gives you and I know that Im losing you because of that. 

Oh Joey, no! Justin turned his head, forcing Joey to look at him. This isnt a contest or anything to see who can amuse me the most. Yeah, Lance and I are dating but you and me, Joey, were brothers. Nothings going to change that. Ever. 

But it has changed, Joey protested. Maybe you dont see that but I sure do. How many times have I asked if you want to do something and youve said either no because youre hanging out with Lance or youve brought him along? 

All three of us have always done stuff together, Joey. Whats the difference now? 

You and him spend all your time kissing and touching each other and you ignore me. Joey finally spat out at him angrily. And Lance never used to do a lot of the stuff you bring him to now. It used to be just you and me, Justin, and Im sorry if Im being a whiny bitch about this but I miss you. 

I havent gone anywhere! 

Fuck you! Joey poked him in the chest hard. Maybe you physically havent gone anywhere but you sure as hell are not here for me anymore. Want to know something that you would have realized had you been here? 

What? asked Justin angrily. Tell me what Ive missed since Ive disappeared as you put it. 

Christina was pregnant! Joey shouted at him. I bet you didnt know that now did you. 

Justin sat back heavily. What? 

Joey nodded, his voice softer this time. Yeah. We found out a few days before your mom found out about you being gay. We were going to tell you guys because we were going to have the baby even though it would have fucked everything in our lives up but when all that happened with you, we just...didnt. And then each time we were going to say something to you and Lance, something else would happen that would make us shut up about it. 

Shes...not pregnant anymore? Justin asked tentatively. 

No, Joeys voice was almost a whisper now. She had a miscarriage. Remember when she was out for a couple days right before you got suspended? 

Justin nodded slowly. I had no idea. 

Yeah, Joey looked over at him. You have no idea how much I needed my best friend then. And you just werent there for me at all. 

I didnt know, Justin said, touching his shoulder. You didnt tell me about this until now, Joey. How was I supposed to be there? 

Everyone else was, Joey shook his head sadly. Fuck, we hadnt talked to Britney in two months and she knew something was wrong right away. Even Nick, whos completely oblivious about the important stuff, knew something was wrong by the way Christina and I were acting. But you...you didnt see anything except yourself and how shitty your life was. 

In my own defense, its not like it was just a little thing that was happening, Justin said to him. My life was turned upside-down. 

And I was there for you through all of it. Christ, Justin. You wouldnt even let me leave you alone long enough so I could go piss by myself that first day. 

Okay then Im an asshole! I get it, Joey. I fucked up and I treated my best friend like shit because I am an asshole. What do you want me to do? 

Joey looked at him sadly, studying Justins face. Just remember that other people have problems too. The world doesnt revolve around you, Justin. 

Justin looked away, reaching over and picking up one of Taylors Barbies that she had left at their house. He began to play with the hair, twisting it and braiding it. 

To have a pregnancy scare turn real, Justin said, tilting his head a little to look at Joey. That had to be rough. And then to end up losing the baby anyway, he shook his head. I know youve probably dealt with it and all that but if you want to talk about it, Ill listen now. I cant take back the past few months and change what happened between us. All I can do is try to make it better from now on. 

We told our parents and everything, Joey whispered, picking at a hole in his jeans with his thumbnail. Mom cried. Chrissys mom cried. I got lectured from here to tomorrow by both our fathers about using condoms and all that crap. Its not like we were trying to have anything happen. It broke. 

Justin moved closer to him, hoping that Joey wouldnt push him away this time. He rubbed his back gently. 

Im sorry. He knew that it wouldnt mean anything now and it probably wouldnt offer Joey any comfort whatsoever but he wanted to say it. 

We resigned ourselves to the fact that we werent going to get to go to college and do all the stuff we thought we were going to do. Neither of us were happy about it but it was our mistake and it was our responsibility to fix it. Then... Joey closed his eyes.  Then I got a call at about 2 in the morning from her mother. They were at the hospital and she had lost the baby. Mom and I went to the hospital that night to be with her. She didnt even want to see me. 

Jesus Joey, Justin breathed out. I...God. He wrapped his arms around Joey tightly, hugging him as hard as he could. 

I called you, Joey said quietly. The morning after it happened. I told you that it was really, really important that we talk. Do you remember what you said? 

Justin shook his head. No but Im guessing it wasnt anything that I should have said at a time like that. 

You said that you promised you would help Josh wash the cars and could we get together another time. Joey looked at him. I didnt know who else to call after that. My best friend didnt want to listen to me. I knew that Lance was gone for the day. Christina didnt want anything to do with me. Hell, she didnt even look at me for almost a week. 

Justin hung his head, realizing that he had been more of an asshole then he had ever thought possible. 

Did Lance know? 

Joey nodded slowly. He found out about a day or two after it happened. Christina called him and ended up spilling everything. She needed him and he was there for her. He said it wasnt his place to tell you and he was right. 

Fuck, Justin flopped backwards, covering his face with his arms. He shook his head slowly. I understand why you hate me now. 

Joey sighed and laid down next to him, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Justin. 

Look, J. I dont hate you. I just wanted you to know what youve been missing while everything in your life has been going on. Thats why me and Christina have been so weird around everyone lately. Thats why we havent had sex in forever. Thats why we are wondering whether we are even going to stay together when school starts in the fall. 

Justin looked over at him. Im never going to let that happen again. I promise you that, Joey. I cant believe I missed all of this. 

Joey reached over and tugged on one of Justins curls, smiling a little. Im glad were doing this now before it got even worse. Our lives are changing so much in a few short weeks, Justin. Nothing will ever be the same after graduation. 

Itll be the same, Justin turned on his side to face Joey. Just a little different is all. 

Joey smiled wistfully at him. Christinas going to be in New Jersey. AJs going to be in Atlanta. Nicks going to be in Arkansas. Howies going to be in Miami. Only you, Lance and I are going to be here. Things are going to be very different. 

Cmon. Itll be fine, Justin said weakly. Think about how much fun were going to have at school. Were all rooming together and you know living with Jeff isnt going to be sucky for you. Well have a blast and everyone will be home on holidays and vacations. Things arent going to be that different. 

Well make the most of this summer, Joey said, playing with Justins hair some more. Can I be honest with you about something? 

Always. Justin moved a little closer so Joey could do whatever he wanted with his hair. 

You and Lance dating makes me very uncomfortable. It has from the very start of all of this. 

Justin nodded a little. I know it has. And I know that you arent comfortable with me being gay at all. Which just makes everything youve done for me that much more incredible. I owe you so much. 

I do a lot of shit that bothers me so you dont get hurt, Joey sighed. I hate it when youre hurting. 

Thank you. Justin hugged him awkwardly since they both were lying down. Joey hugged him back, closing his eyes and resting his head on Justins shoulder. 

Joey squeezed him one more time and then let go, smiling at Justin almost happily. 

Now on to something else thats important. 

Justin grinned. Whats that? 

Food, Joey stood up, reaching his hand down to Justin. Im starving. Tell me Josh made meatloaf recently. 

Id tell you that but there isnt any in the fridge. I ate the rest for breakfast this morning. Justin grinned at him sheepishly. I was running late. 

I cant believe Josh let you out of the house eating meatloaf for breakfast. 

Justin laughed and headed towards the kitchen, Joey at his side. He was running late too. He had an interview. You should have seen what Chris ate for breakfast. 

Im afraid to ask. 

Leftover tacos, Justin smiled, opening the fridge. His lunch was cereal. Josh wasnt thinking straight this morning. 

Does Josh ever think straight? Joey joked, peering over Justins shoulders. Is that steak? 

Looks like it, Justin took out the package and looked at it. How do you cook steak?   
    
Grill it. Joey took it from him. Ill do it. 

Okay, Justin shrugged. I think theres a grill in the garage. Are you sure you know what youre doing? 

Trust me. Joey said with a grin, spearing the still packaged steak with a knife and heading out back.   
    
  
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	46. Chapter Forty-Five

You look great, Josh said with a smile, his arms around Chris waist as he looked at Justin. Drop dead gorgeous, hon. 

Justin blushed and looked down at his feet. Thanks. I feel kinda silly though. These things feel weird. 

Chris reached out and straightened the vest Justin was wearing. All tuxes feel weird. Just dont think about it. 

How can I not think about it? Justin laughed, tugging on the bottom of the vest himself. It feels so strange. Its stiff. 

I want pictures, Chris smiled, unwrapping Joshs arms. Wheres the camera at? 

What? Justin grinned. Youre not going to get enough pictures at Christinas house? 

Chris looked over at Josh. We didnt think you wanted us to go to Christinas house. Um...we thought it would be easier for you if we didnt. 

I want you guys there, Justin said softly. Please. 

Josh smiled, walking over to Justin and putting his arm around his waist. Well be there. 

Why didnt you think I would want you guys? Justin smiled happily as Chris took a picture of him and Josh standing together. 

We werent sure if you would be uncomfortable having us there, Joshs voice was soft. I know that there are going to be parents there who dont know about us. 

You guys are my family, Justin took the camera from Chris. You two together now. 

Josh pulled Chris over and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. Hearing Justin call them his family made them both smile. 

Justin took the picture. I want one with you guys and Lance too. 

Okay, Chris said agreeably. I want one with you and me before we go. 

You got it. Justin handed the camera off to Josh and went over to Chris, resting his arms on the older mans shoulders and standing behind him. 

Okay. No fair making fun of my height, Chris grinned, twisting and pulling Justin over to his side. Stand next to me. 

Justin laughed and put his arm around Chris waist. He really was happy right now. 

Before we go, Josh said, reaching for Justins arm. I need to talk to you. Chris, call Chrissy and tell her that were on our way. 

Chris nodded and headed out of the room. Justin looked over at Josh a little expectantly. 

Chris told me what you have planned for tonight, Josh said, sitting Justin down on the couch next to him. Im the one who gets to give you a quick talk. 

Oh, Justin blushed deeply. You dont um have to do that. Chris and I talked about this. 

I know, Josh grinned, reaching into his pocket. I know that all you guys rented one big room for tonight but we thought that maybe the two of you would like some privacy. Here. 

Justin looked down at the hotel key that Josh pressed into his palm. Oh wow. You didnt have to do this. 

Your first time should be special, Josh smiled softly, patting Justins leg. Sneaking off to a corner in a room full of your friends is not the way to do it. Its the least we could do. 

Thank you. Justin hugged Josh tightly. 

All the stuff you two will need is already in the room, Josh patted Justins back as he held him. I made Chris scout it out earlier and stock it up. 

You guys are too good to me, Justin blushed again as he pulled back to look at Josh. I dont know what I would have done without the two of you the past few months. 

Im glad that youre here. Josh squeezed him again. 

Okay, kiddies, Chris came back into the room, tossing the car keys at Justin. Lets roll.   
    


* * *

Mom, AJ groaned. Stop playing with it. Denise smacked his hand lightly and continued to fuss with his hair. Amanda just laughed at them. 

This is crazy, Lance murmured in Justins ear, looking at all the people milling around Christinas backyard. There are so many people here. 

I know, Justin smiled though. I havent seen Howies parents in ages. 

Me either. Lance smiled as well, watching as Denise kept fussing over AJ. 

Britney and Jeff had just gotten there a few minutes before and Britneys mom had come as well. This had been the first time in months that Justin had seen her mother. So far, she hadnt even looked in his direction. He wasnt really that surprised. 

Christina was holding Maggie and talking to Joey off to the side. Joeys mom was doing her usual teary-eyed chat with Christinas mom. They both always got teary when they saw Christina and Joey all dressed up together. 

Josh and Chris were thankfully not standing off to the side trying to hide. Lances parents had immediately gravitated right to them. 

Okay, Nicks mother, Jane, clapped her hands together. Everyone get together for pictures. 

Lance led Justin over to where everyone else was standing. You look great tonight, Chrissy, he grinned. Sexy as hell. 

Christina laughed and reached up to straighten Lances lapels. You look sexy as hell too, Jimmy. Five bucks says that Justin cant keep his hands off you. 

Justin pulled Lance back against him, grinning at Christina. You dont need to bet on that. Im not letting him go tonight. 

Does this mean that no one is going to take my bet? Christina pouted jokingly, wrapping Joeys arms around her. 

I think thats a pretty good assumption, baby, Joey kissed her softly, his hands straying to her stomach briefly. Love you. 

Christina moved his hands a little lower so they were on her hips and smiled brightly for the cameras. 

Justin, Lance murmured, looking in the direction of Justins old house. Look at the back window. 

Justin turned his head slightly. The curtains were parted and he could see his mothers face clearly, watching them all. She saw him looking but didnt shut the curtain, giving him a small smile instead. Justin smiled back before looking at the cameras again. 

Shes watching, Justin kissed right behind Lances ear. Thats probably a good sign. 

I hope so. Lance tilted his head back and kissed Justin softly. When he looked back at the window, Lynne wasnt smiling anymore.   
    


* * *

Im stealing your girl for a dance, Justin said, taking Britneys arm. Ill have her back in one piece, Jeff. 

Jeff laughed and kissed Britneys cheek. Have fun. Does this mean I get to steal your boy for a dance? 

Hes already been stolen by Chrissy. I think Joeys free. 

Jeff grinned. Ooh. Joey. 

Take it easy on him, sailor, Britney squeezed Jeffs arm lightly. No pinching his ass or anything. He gets attached easily. 

Aye, aye, captain. Jeff headed off in Joeys direction, leaving Britney and Justin alone. 

Justin led Britney onto the dance floor, putting his arms around her. She smiled and leaned up against him, closing her eyes. 

This was supposed to be us. Her voice was soft, slightly wistful. 

I know, Justin said quietly, his hands on the small of her back. This whole year was supposed to be ours. 

We were King and Queen at Homecoming and at the Winter Formal. We were supposed to make it a clean sweep, Britney lifted her head to look at Justin. Now Joey and Christina have no competition. 

Hey, Justin grinned. I happen to think that Lance would make a great Queen. I just dont think hell be voted for. 

Britney laughed and just shook her head. You two are adorable. 

Its all him. Hes got the adorableness down perfectly. Just like you have the loveliness down perfectly. You never know. You and Jeff could win. 

I happen to think Im more striking then lovely, Britney grinned, looking over at Jeff and Joey. They were balancing spoons on their nose. Joey already had his jacket off and his sleeves rolled up. And we could win. That would be pretty neat. Jeffs got king material written all over him. 

Im really happy for you two, Justin said honestly. Jeffs a really nice guy. You deserve a nice guy. 

Jeff is pretty great. Im still surprised that he asked me out. Im very glad he did. Lucky too. 

Justin lifted her chin, smiling at her. I think hes pretty lucky personally. And I should know. Ive known you since you were a baby. 

If you bring up the time I peed in the baby pool in Joeys backyard in front of him... Britney shook her head. I cant be held responsible for what I tell Lance. 

Deal, Justin laughed, wrapping his arms around her tightly. I know that you wouldnt hesitate to tell him about all the times you made me play dress-up with you. I still cant believe you got me in that old prom dress, heels and a tiara. 

Hell, Ive got pictures of that one. Britney laughed happily. 

Pictures of what? Lance asked as Christina dipped him into their vicinity. And why havent I been shown these pictures? 

Nothing, baby. Justin leaned over and pecked him on the lips quickly. 

Christina pulled Lance back up, mock glaring at Justin. Hands off my Bass. I got him now. You can have him later. Or... she grinned mischievously. He can have you later. 

Justin blushed fiercely. Shup.   
    


* * *

    
Tonights been great, Christina said, holding up the glass of wine. She pushed the tiara back a little. Joey had the crown on his head, tilted to the side. I want to make a toast. 

The room quieted down and all attention turned to her. The room that they all had rented together was big, two bedrooms, three couches and tons of floor space. It was basically a suite. 

Lance sat behind Justin on the floor, his arm wrapped around his waist, holding the glass of wine up with his other hand. He kissed his neck softly, looking around at all their friends. 

Howie and Darla were sitting on the couch with AJ and Amanda. The four of them had already taken off their formal clothes and changed into pajamas or in AJs case a pair of fuzzy slippers, the ruffled shirt, and boxers. The glass of wine he held made it a perfect image. 

Nick, Mandy, Britney, and Jeff were sitting on the other couch, all dog piled on top of each other. Somehow though, they all had their glasses of wine raised and were ready for Christinas toast. 

Drew and his girlfriend, Mariah were lying on the floor next to Nick and Jessica. Justin was sitting next to them with his girlfriend, Sofia, resting her head on his lap. 

Weve all been friends for years, she looked around the room. And I hope that we will all be friends for years to come. Thank you, all of you, for being a part of my life and for helping me be what I am and for what I will become. And thank you for all being so damn fun to be around. I love you guys. 

Woo! Nick shouted, clinking his glass with Jeffs. Glasses clinked together all around the room and the bottles of wine were passed around to refill anyone whose glass was empty. 

I love you, Lance said softly, kissing Justins neck again. So damn much. 

Justin turned his head to kiss Lances lips, touching his cheek gently at the same time. 

You ready to disappear? 

Lance looked at him, confused. What do you mean? 

Justin squirmed a little to get to his pocket, pulling out another keycard. He handed it to Lance with a small smile. 

Present from Josh and Chris, he blushed a little. We have our own room tonight. For...you know. 

Lances eyes widened slightly as he looked at Justin. You mean...tonight? 

Justin nodded, kissing him again deeply. Tonight. 

Oh wow, Lances voice was soft and he touched Justins stomach lightly. I had no idea. Are you sure? 

Justin kissed him again. Very sure. I want this. 

Lance nodded, licking his lips slowly. Then yeah. Lets disappear. He stood up and reached for Justins hand, pulling him up. 

The others were all laughing and talking. Joey was rolling a few joints with Christina helping him out. Justin leaned over to tap him on the shoulder. Joey held up one finger and went back to rolling the joint he was on. He brought it up to his mouth and licked it, twisting the ends tightly. 

Whats up? 

Were going to take off, Justin said quietly. He had told Joey and Christina what was up earlier that evening. Well be back for breakfast. 

Joey handed him a tightly rolled joint and winked at him. You two are in 418, right? 

Justin nodded, putting the joint in his pocket. No bothering us though. 

Oh hey, Joey held up his hand. I wouldnt do that. I just wanted to make sure in case we needed to get in touch with you two for any reason. Have fun and be safe. 

Justin blushed a little and nodded. See you in the morning. 

Christina rested her head on Joeys shoulder and watched the two of them walk out of the room. 

Theres no going back now, she whispered in Joeys ear, handing him the joint she had rolled for inspection. Justins going to lose his virginity tonight. 

He lost that awhile ago, Joey said, nodding and handing the joint back to her. Thats a good one. Youre getting better. 

Hes a virgin in this area, Christina put the joint on the ground next to the other four. After tonight he wont be. 

They love each other, Joey looked at her a little sadly. Things were still really strained between the two of them. I love you. 

I love you too, Christina kissed him softly. We get a bedroom, right? 

Part of the deal for this, Joey gestured at the joints. Is that we get a bedroom. 

Good. Christina kissed him again, deeper this time, her tongue sweeping into his mouth.   
    
Joey smiled into the kiss and rested his hand flat against her back. Maybe things would be alright between them again.   
  
---  
  
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	47. Chapter Forty-Six

Justin unlocked the door and pushed it open, peeking inside. Oh wow.   
    
What? Lance stuck his head in as well. This place is **big**.   
    
Justin led Lance inside, dropping the key on the dresser. He turned on the light and looked around.   
    
This had to set them back. Justin said, picking up a note on the dresser. Lance had headed into the bathroom, exploring.   
    
Justin! Lance called out. Come here for a second. 

Justin took the note with him, heading to the bathroom. Whats up?   
    
Look at the bathtub, Lance pointed it out. Its huge.   
    
Justin put his arm around Lances waist, grinning a little. Want to take a bath together?   
    
Lance giggled a little and turned his head to kiss Justin. Maybe. That could be kind of cool.   
    
Justin nodded and held up the note, opening it with one hand so they both could read it.   
    
  
    
Okay, Lance smiled. We **definitely** have to do something special for them.   
    
So we have wine, a joint, and a huge bathtub. If theres bubble bath were set. Justin let go of Lance to go rummaging around. He pulls out a bottle triumphantly. We have bubble bath.   
    
Lance pulled Justin back over to him and kissed him lightly, teasingly. You get the bath ready. Ill get the wine. Back in a minute so I can undress you.   
    
Sounds like a plan to me. Justin watched him walk out of the bathroom before he went over to start the water, turning it on so it was nice and hot. He added the bubbles in, watching them foam and froth for a bit.   
    
Lance found the wine and the corkscrew easily, popping the cork and leaving it on the counter. He picked up the glasses in one hand, holding the bottle of wine in the other and walked back into the bathroom.   
    
"Check it out, Justin held up a lighter. Chris even left us a lighter. He knows us too well. 

Lance laughed, setting the bottle and glasses on the wide ledge of the bathtub. He walked over to Justin and started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his jaw lightly.   
    
I get to undress you too, right?   
    
Of course, Lance kissed him again, untucking the shirt and pushing it off Justins shoulders. He let it fall to a pile on the ground. I love it when you undress me.   
    
Justin unbuttoned Lances shirt quickly, pushing it off of him and onto the ground. He smiled and kissed Lance again before unzipping his pants slowly. He slid his hands under the waist band of Lances boxers and pushed them and the pants to the ground.   
    
Youre so beautiful, Justin murmured, brushing his hand over his pale hipbone.   
    
Lance stepped out of the clothes piled around his ankles and quickly unzipped Justins pants, pushing them to the ground as well. He ran his hand down Justins chest before leaning over and sucking delicately on a nipple.   
    
Justin hissed softly, tugging Lances head back up so he could kiss him. Want to get in?   
    
Lance nodded and took Justins hand, leading him over to the bathtub. He stepped in carefully, sitting down in the bubbles, waiting for Justin.   
    
Justin climbed in, smiling happily. He reached for the wine and poured both of them a glass, handing it to Lance.   
    
To us, Lance said, holding it up. And to our future together.   
    
Justin leaned forward and kissed him softly before clinking their glasses together. He took a sip before settling back and holding one arm out.   
    
Lance moved into his arms, leaning back against Justins chest. Justin put an arm around him and they both drank the wine in silence, just enjoying the hot water, bubbles and holding each other.   
    
This is really cool, Lance said, reaching for the bottle of wine and topping up both of their glasses. Naked, wet Justin is very nice. 

Justin laughed and picked up a handful of bubbles, blowing them at Lance. Naked, wet Lance is very nice too. Naked, wet Lance is turning me on big time.   
    
Oh really, Lance grinned, sliding his hand up Justins wet thigh and grasping his erection gently. He began to move his hand slowly. I think I like turning on naked, wet Justin.   
    
Justin moaned softly, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. Lance took his glass of wine and set it on the side of the bathtub so Justin didnt spill it. He leaned over, kissing Justin deeply while keeping his hand moving the whole time. 

Justin pulled back, panting softly. You should stop. His voice shook as he suggested it. 

Lance shook his head, sucking on Justins jaw lightly. Who says we can only go once? We have all night.   
    
Justin could feel Lance pressed up against his thigh and he reached down to grasp him, doing his best to jerk him off at the same time. Lance chuckled softly and pulled Justins hand off of himself.   
    
Wait your turn, he whispered in his ear. Spread your legs more.   
    
Justin obliged, spreading his legs and sinking further into the water. Lance trailed wet fingers over Justins balls and behind them, stroking the sensitive skin there lightly. His other hand kept pumping Justin at the same agonizingly slow pace.   
    
Oh God. Justin moaned, his head falling back to rest against the edge of the tub. Lance pressed one finger inside of him, moving it in rhythm with the hand on his erection. He spread his legs even further, giving Lance as much room as he could. Lance took it and added another finger, curling and scissoring them inside of Justin, stretching him carefully.   
    
Justins erection twitched and he felt a shiver go down his spine. Lance, he groaned out, opening his eyes to look at him. Im gonna...in the water.   
    
Lance deliberately raked his fingers across Justins prostate, nodding to him. He flicked his thumb over the head once, twice and then Justin came hard, his whole body shaking.   
    
Lance pulled out carefully, leaning over to kiss Justin again. I love you. he whispered before letting go of his wilting erection.   
    
Jesus, Justin gasped softly, his body still shaking a little. He pulled Lance to him, holding him close. Give me a minute and Ill take care of you.   
    
Take your time. Lances eyelids fluttered shut and Justin grinned, reaching his hand down. He could tell by the look on Lances face that he was jerking himself off already.   
    
Couldnt wait for me, he teased, cupping Lances balls while Lances hand moved quickly. You spread now. 

Lance chuckled a little, spreading his legs. Sorry. I couldnt help myself.   
    
Justin shifted positions and sat between Lances legs, sliding a finger inside of him easily. He really liked doing this, loved the way it felt when Lance gripped his finger. Lance moaned softly, his hand gripping harder, matching Justins smooth thrusts into him.   
    
Another, Lance whimpered, pushing back against Justins hand. Please. Another.   
    
Justin added another finger, thrusting his hand against Lances body. He knew Lance was close and he bit his lip, trying to remember the right way to angle his fingers. He didnt always get it right but this time he wanted to.   
    
Lance cried out softly as he came, his hand stilling on his erection. Justin curled his fingers once more, hitting his prostate again, resulting in another soft whimper from Lance before he pulled out. 

I think we should get out of the water, Justin suggested, licking the rim of Lances ear gently. What do you think?   
    
Yes. Lance nodded, his breath still coming in short gasps as he came down from his orgasm. I cant stand up though. So...in a minute.   
    
Justin chuckled and took a sip of the wine. Tonight, he started. Um. When we do that, he blushed a little. I want you to be in me.   
    
Are you sure? Lance sat up all the way, stroking Justins cheek softly with his wet hand.   
    
Justin nodded. Im sure. I want this, Lance. I love you and I want to do this with you.   
    
Lance bit his lip, nodding slowly. Okay. Im a little nervous.   
    
Why? asked Justin, snuggling up against Lance. The water was still warm and neither of them were moving very quickly to get out of it.   
    
This is a big step for us, Lance kissed his shoulder. And its been awhile since Ive done it. I dont want to hurt you any.   
    
Chris told me how to do it right, Justin closed his eyes, feeling safe in Lances arms. And I love you and trust you with my life.   
    
Lance kissed his neck softly. Lets get out of the bathtub.   
    
Justin smiled and opened his eyes, turning around to face Lance. Okay. He stood up, reaching for Lances hand, helping him out of the bathtub. He wrapped a towel around Lance, drying him a little before drying himself off. 

Lance squeezed his hand. Ill meet you out there in a moment. He pulled Justin into a kiss. I need to...um...find the stuff Chris left.   
    
Justin opened the cabinet and pulled out a small bag. Got it.   
    
Lance nodded, exhaling slowly. That nervousness thing. Yeah. Still here.   
    
Justin led him back into the room, setting the bag on the night stand next to them. How about we just lie down then? Kiss for a bit?   
    
You are so calm, Lance said, slightly amazed as they both got on the bed. He curled up in Justins arms again. I guess you were planning this?   
    
Yeah, Justin ran his hands down Lances sides, pulling him close. They were facing each other, kissing softly as they talked. Ive been planning this for a few weeks. The talk with Chris...well, that was the Sunday morning you stayed over. When I woke you up to tell you about my father coming to graduation.   
    
Lance stroked Justins hip softly as they talked. He was already hard again but he was enjoying just lying with Justin like this.   
    
I really hope that I can make this good, Lance bit his lip, looking nervously at Justin. I dont want to disappoint you.   
    
You cant, Justin kissed him deeply. Its you and its me and its going to be great because we love each other. 

Lance moved closer to him, pressing their bodies together. He slid a hand around to rest on the small of Justins back, keeping him in place. He licked at Justins lips, tracing them with his tongue before kissing him again.   
    
Justin parted his lips for him, losing himself in the kiss. He barely even noticed when Lance rolled them over so he was on top of Justin. Lance straddled him, still kissing slowly and languidly. Justin ran his hands over Lances back, his skin still warm and slightly moist from the water.   
    
Lance sucked on Justins jaw, feeling the dampness of his skin as he ran his hands down Justins sides. He moved up to kiss him again, reaching towards the night stand with one hand. He managed to grab the small bag and pulled back, opening it and pulling out the lube. Justin smiled up at him, taking the bag from him and setting it aside.   
    
Not far, Lance said softly. Im going to need a condom. 

Justin nodded and ran his hand down Lances chest, his fingers dancing over the pale hair on his lower stomach. He watched as Lance spread lube on his fingers, setting the tube near the bag for when they needed it again.   
    
Lance sat between Justins legs, nudging them apart with his unlubed hand. He kept his hand on Justins inner thigh, stroking it soothingly. He stopped, grabbed a pillow putting it under Justins lower back to make him more comfortable. Lance leaned forward, kissed Justin again deeply.   
    
Ready? His voice was a throaty whisper in Justins ear and his tongue darted out to lick the lobe. Justin moaned as he nodded.   
    
Lance moved back between Justins legs, running one lubricated finger along his crack, pressing against the hole lightly. Justin shivered when Lance entered him, his finger stroking easily inside. Lance did that for a bit, watching as Justin moved and twisted against that one finger before adding another one.   
    
He leaned forward and licked the underside of Justins cock as he scissored his fingers, stretching Justin. He wanted to stretch him as much as he could before trying to enter him.   
    
Justin moaned and arched his back a little more, moving his hips against Lances fingers. His hand roamed along his chest, tweaking a nipple as he moaned again, his lips parted slightly and his eyes hooded as he stared down at Lance.   
    
Lance kissed Justins stomach softly before looking up to watch Justins face as he added another finger. Hed never used three fingers on him before.   
    
Justins eyes widened and he whimpered softly, licking his suddenly dry lips. Lance stopped moving his hand, just keeping his fingers there as he rubbed Justins thigh lightly.   
    
You okay?   
    
Justin nodded, squirming slightly. There was a slight twinge of pain when Lance had put the third finger in but he was growing accustomed to it and the pain was lessening. Lance began to move his hand again, curling his fingers inside Justin and brushing them over his prostate.   
    
Lance! Justin practically jumped when he did that, his hands clutching at the blankets. There was no more pain now, just a ripple of pleasure that flowed through his body.   
    
Im going to put the condom on now, Lance said softly, removing his fingers and kissing Justins inner thigh. Okay?   
    
Justin nodded, reaching for the bag. His hands shook as he tried to rip off one of the condoms to give it to Lance.   
    
Lances steady hands helped him, his nervousness gone now. He ripped it off and picked up the lube, kissing Justins lips again.   
    
I love you. Lance said before sitting back. He opened the package and rolled the condom on, his eyelids fluttering slightly as he touched himself.   
    
Justin watched, his breathing shallow in anticipation. Lance was putting lube all over himself, then putting more on Justin, rubbing his finger against Justins hole eliciting a soft moan from him.   
    
Lance stroked a finger inside again for a moment before moving between his legs. He put one of Justins legs over his shoulder, lacing their fingers together as he held himself steady.   
    
Are you ready? Lance asked again, the head of his cock just touching Justins hole. 

Justin swallowed nervously, squeezing Lances hand tightly. Lance felt so big pressed up against him. He nodded, trying to relax as much as possible.   
    
Lance pressed against him entering slowly, stopping when he felt Justins hand tighten painfully. He brought his other hand up to stroke Justins cheek softly, waiting for a signal to go on.   
    
Justin whimpered and turned his head into Lances hand. It hurt a lot and Lance was barely in him. He could feel his own erection wilting from the pain. He took deep, slow breaths like Chris told him to do to relax. Finally, he felt like he was ready for more and he nodded again.   
    
Lance moved again, slowly. He stopped every few seconds to let Justin adjust to having him inside. He closed his own eyes for a moment, taking a long, shuddery breath. Hed forgotten how good this felt but he also kept in mind how good it **wasnt** feeling for Justin at the moment.   
    
The pain was horrible but Lance was going slow and doing his best to make things okay. Justin knew that he wanted to keep going, wanted to do this so he nodded again, tugging lightly on Lances hand to let him know it was okay to move again.   
    
Lance moved a little further, gasping slightly when he realized he was all the way inside of Justin. He stopped again, trying to calm **himself** down. Justin whimpered again and he opened his eyes to look down at him. He leaned forward and kissed him softly.   
    
Im all the way in, he said softly, his hand stroking Justins stomach lightly. Are you okay?   
    
Justin shook his head, tears pricking at his eyes. Lance started to pull out but Justin pulled him close again, his hand on the small of Lances back. He moved his leg from Lances shoulder to around his waist.   
    
Dont go. His voice was thin and wavery but his eyes were firm. Just...dont move yet.   
    
Lance nodded and kissed him again. They kissed for a bit, Lance inside of Justin not moving. Soon the kisses became deeper and Justin squirmed a little, feeling more and more used to having Lance in him.   
    
Can you move now? Justin asked breathlessly, his nails digging into Lances shoulder.   
    
Lance nodded, pulling out slightly before thrusting back in. His thrusts were shallow and smooth at first, watching Justins face the whole time, their hands still twined together so Justin could tell him when it was too much for him.   
    
Its okay, Justin whispered. It was okay. It wasnt entirely comfortable and pleasurable yet but it wasnt **un** comfortable either. He licked his lips, keeping his eyes locked on Lances as he moved above him and inside of him. 

Justin was so hot and so tight that it took all of Lances willpower not to start thrusting away. He kept moving slowly, deepening his thrusts a little when Justins face started to relax and he seemed comfortable with what was happening. He brought one hand between them and began to stroke Justins half-hard erection, feeling him respond to the movements.   
    
Justin licked his lips again; his lips and mouth were so dry right now. There was still pain but it wasnt so bad, wasnt the only thing he was feeling anymore. He actually moaned slightly when Lance pushed back in this time.   
    
Lance smiled at him warmly, squeezing his hand. Feeling a little better?   
    
Justin nodded, squeezing his hand back. It doesnt hurt as much anymore. You can move more if you want.   
    
Thank you, Lance said, leaning over to kiss him again. Tell me if its too much.   
    
Justin nodded again as Lance began to move faster, his hips taking on a rocking motion as he started to pull out more and thrust in further. He bit his lip as he angled his body slightly, hoping that his next stroke hit the right spot.   
    
Justin gasped and his whole body tingled. He arched his back and tightened his grip on Lances hand. That felt **really** good.   
    
Can... Justins voice shook when he tried to talk. Do that again. Please.   
    
Lance nodded and kept that angle of his body for the next few strokes, watching as Justin reacted to it, his body shaking and shivering underneath him. He felt Justins hips push back against his own and he smiled again, knowing that he was doing something right now.   
    
Oh Lance, Justin whimpered again, this time in pleasure. That feels so good.   
    
Lance gritted his teeth, trying to hold off his orgasm as long as possible. It wasnt going to be easy because he was already trembling with it, his body aching to come.   
    
Justin reached his hand up to stroke Lances cheek, feeling the way his muscles were tensing as he held him and moved.   
    
I dont know how much longer I can hold on. Lance managed to gasp out, turning his head to kiss the palm of Justins hand.   
    
Its okay, Justin kept stroking his cheek, sliding his other hand down Lances arm to his hand which was wrapped around his own thigh. You can come.   
    
The words made Lance tremble and he began to thrust less smoothly, his hips taking on an erratic rhythm as he tried to hold off just a little longer. Justin pulled him down for a kiss and that did it. He couldnt hold on anymore and he thrust in deep, coming with a soft shout against Justins lips.   
    
Justin could feel Lance pulsing inside of him and he moaned softly. Lance was breathing heavily, moist, hot air coming out in short gasps against his neck. Justin squirmed a little, feeling close himself but not able to get there without a little more stimulation.   
    
Lance pulled out slowly letting Justins leg fall, kissing his stomach before taking him in his mouth and sucking hard. He wasnt surprised that Justin hadnt come from that. He didnt the first few times he had done it either.   
    
Justin groaned and thrust deep into Lances mouth, coming after only a few moments of the blowjob. He collapsed against the pillows, breathing heavily, his eyes closed.   
    
Lance licked his lips after swallowing and moved back up next to Justin. He slipped off the condom, wrapping it up in a tissue and dropping it in the trashcan by the bed.   
    
Justin turned and wrapped his arms around Lance, burying his face in the crook of his neck. He was sore and the movement made him wince a little but he wanted to touch Lance now.   
    
Lance held him close, rubbing his back gently. He kissed his damp curls, closing his own eyes. His whole body was relaxed and tingly still. He felt so good, so close to Justin right now.   
    
Justin lifted his head, tears pricking at his eyes again. I love you, he whispered, touching Lances cheek. So much.   
    
Lance wiped away the few tears that had fallen with his thumb, kissing Justin softly.   
    
I love you too, he kissed him again. Thank you.   
    
Justin smiled and kissed Lances collarbone before resting his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They both laid there in silence, arms and legs tangled together, just touching sweaty bodies softly and tenderly.   
  
---  
  
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	48. Chapter Forty-Seven

Mmm... Christina rolled over, propping her head up on her fists and looking at him. I love the sun. 

Justin smiled, running a hand through her long blonde hair. I miss sunbathing on the roof with you. 

The backyard works, Christina said, looking around the yard. Granted we can be found much easier and we cant do it completely naked anymore but its okay. 

Its not like Chris and Joshll care if youre naked in their backyard, Justin grinned at her. But Joey might care. 

My jealous boyfriend, Christina shook her head. Hes a piece of work. 

Justin began to stroke her long blonde hair again. He told me. About... he trailed off for a moment. About the baby. 

Christina nodded, looking at the ground. He told me that he talked about it with you. It wasnt easy on him. 

I cant imagine it was that easy on you either. Justin kept his voice soft and soothing, hoping that Christina wasnt going to get upset talking about this. 

Christina shifted uncomfortably. Justin... she shook her head. I know that you want to talk about this with me but I really dont want to talk about it. Please. 

Okay, Justin said agreeably. Tell me about Princeton. 

Christina smiled at that. Im actually really excited. Dad and I went up a few weeks ago to see the school. Its so beautiful and the dorms are great. God, I cant wait to go there. 

Im gonna miss you, Justin kissed her hand softly. But you got to go. Jesus, Princeton, hon. Not many people get that chance. 

Its not that far, Christinas voice was quiet because even though it was true, it also wasnt. To them, Princeton was another world. Ill come back. And hey, you guys can come visit. 

Please, Justin laughed. You know Joeys going to be planning road trips as often as he can. Florida to New Jersey in five hours or less. In a 92 Honda Accord. 

Christina laughed as well, resting her head on Justins stomach again. Its been three days, she tilted her head up to look at him. I think Ive been very patient. 

Patient about what? Justin teased, knowing what she was asking about. 

Christina smacked his thigh lightly. Tell me about the other night, Justin. You promised you would spill to me about your first time. 

Its kinda personal. Justin was grinning though. He was going to tell her and they both knew it. Theyve always told each other about the big times. 

You know that Ill share my prom night sex as well. 

You guys had sex? Justin looked down at her, surprised. 

Christina nodded, plucking a few blades of grass and playing with them. Yeah. First time since...well. You know. It was great. Joey went down on me forever. That mans tongue should be outlawed. 

Justin laughed at that, playing with her hair again. I dont know. Im pretty good at what I do. 

Yes, Christina laughed at him. Ive heard all about your tongue from both Brit and Lance. But Ive never experienced your tongue, only Joeys. 

So do you really want to know? 

Christina rolled over again. Only if you want to share. I do understand if its something too private to share with me. Ill pout but Ill understand. 

It was great, Justin blushed. The whole night was just great. I love him so much. 

You are so adorable, Christina sighed happily. So what did you do? 

You want details? 

Not like blow by blow details, Christina laughed. Basic details. 

Okay, Justin blushed again, tilting his head back to make sure that Chris or Josh werent at the back door or anything. The room they got us was great. We had this huge bathtub which we took advantage of. We fooled around in there a bit. Then we... he blushed even more. We moved to the bed. 

You guys really did it? 

Justin nodded, smiling as he blushed. We did. He was inside me but I know you already knew that since Joey spent most of Saturday making fun of the way I was walking. 

What did it feel like? Christina tilted her head slightly. Because Im not really that fond of it personally. 

Justins eyes widened. You and Joey...seriously? 

Christina nodded, wrinkling her nose a little. Hes got this obsession with trying to do that. Sometimes I let him. Its like a treat for him. 

It hurts, Justin admitted. It really was painful but I didnt want to stop. It got better though as it went on. Id do it again. I mean, I want to do it again. 

It does hurt, Christina agreed. But it doesnt hurt as much anymore. The first few times he did it, I was in serious pain. I was like get out. Now. It doesnt go there. But now I can deal with it. 

I liked it, Justin blushed a little. He...uh... he gestured a little. Prostate and all. It was nice. Very nice. 

Did you do it to Lance? asked Christina, curious about all of this. 

Not yet, Justin shook his head. Its not a spur of the moment type thing. Theres...um...preparation and stuff before doing it. 

Fingers, Christina nodded sagely. I make Joey do that first. 

I seriously never tried that with Britney, Justin shook his head. It crossed my mind but I didnt ever try. 

You guys were pretty vanilla, Christina said, rolling over and pillowing her head on Justins arm. I bet you never even spanked her. 

Joey does that to you? 

Nope, Christina shook her head. I do it to him. Hes all about it. 

How have we never talked about this before? Justin stared down at her, suddenly realizing that he knew nothing about her and Joeys sex life. 

Christina shrugged. Never came up. He never told you any of this? 

Justin shook his head. Nope. All our sex talks and he never mentioned that he likes being spanked and doing you up the ass. Though I did find out about the fingering. 

If ever you notice Ive cut my nails, Christina looked at the long nails on her hands. Its pretty much a given that Joey asked for that recently. 

Does he ever do anything you really like? 

Oh yeah, Christina nodded. Hes like the king of oral sex. Sometimes hell just do that and nothing else. And hell tie me up when I ask. Hes not big into that though but he does it for me. 

Josh opened the back door. Christina, your mom is on the phone. 

Christina sat up and sighed. I knew she would find me eventually. She put her bikini top back on and got up, walking into the house. 

Josh handed her the phone as she walked by, heading for the kitchen. He walked outside and lit a cigarette. Justin got up and sat next to him, taking the offered smoke. 

Does she always walk around with her top down like that? 

Justin laughed and nodded. Keeping clothes on Chrissy during the summer can be a challenge. 

Ill have to remember that, Josh looked back at the house. Im gay and all but shes got nice breasts. 

That she does, Justin laughed. That she does.   
    


* * *

Justin stood on the steps of the house, fidgeting for a moment before ringing the doorbell. He held his breath, waiting. 

The door opened a little and he smiled. Lynne sighed softly and opened the door all the way, looking at him. 

Hello, Justin. Her voice was cool and detached but the usual anger and hatred wasnt there. 

Hi, Mom, Justin smiled at her as warmly as he could. I know Im not supposed to come over like this. Or well at all but I wanted to give you something. 

Lynne nodded slowly. You can come inside if you want. 

Justin blinked in surprise but followed her inside. Thank you. He looked around the house hed grown up in. It didnt look any different except for the fact any pictures of him that had been around were gone. 

Why did you come over, Justin? 

Justin sat down on the edge of the couch, feeling uneasy in her presence. They had been talking on the phone on occasion but this was the first time hed seen her since that day in the supermarket. 

Graduation is next week, he started slowly. Dads bringing Lisa and the kids. Gram and Grandpa are coming too. I uh, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small envelope, holding it out to her. I saved two tickets for you and Paul. In case you...wanted to come for some reason. 

Give them to Chris and Josh instead. Lynne said softly, not reaching out to take them. 

Justin kept holding the tickets out, refusing to take them back. Chris gets in without a ticket and AJ gave me one of his extras for Josh. These are for you. 

Lynne finally reached forward and took the envelope. I cant make any promises, Justin. 

I know, Justin nodded, just happy that she took them. I wanted to make sure you had the option though. It...Id really like it if you came. 

Lynne nodded, putting the envelope down on the coffeetable. Do you know where you are graduating in the class yet? 

Last time they did rankings, I was 25th, Justin sat back a little more comfortable now. But it can all change after finals obviously. 

Lynne was the one shifting uncomfortably now, unsure of how to have a conversation with her son. 

Christina is still the valedictorian, Justin broke the silence. Lance is in the top 10. Uh. Joey and Brit are somewhere in the 30s, I think. But...were all doing good. 

Thats good. Lynne reached for the envelope again, opening it and looking at the tickets before putting it back down. You have everything figured out for college? 

Justin nodded. This was safe territory here. 

Im not taking the scholarship but I am going to FSU. Dad got loans to cover pretty much all of it. And I got financial aid too. The rest, like books and some housing costs, Chris and Josh are going to cover. Joey, Lance, Jeff and I got one of the freshman suites together which should be pretty fun. 

That sounds good, Lynnes voice sounded a little more cold at the mention of Lance. Have you decided what you are going to major in yet? 

No, admitted Justin. Im going in as an undecided major. I figured I would take a year trying stuff out and then declare. 

Thats what I did, Lynne said to him. And it worked out well for me. Your father just started in business and hated it all four years. He never got to really explore anything else. 

Chris was actually the one who suggested that to me, Justin nodded. For pretty much the same reasons. Actually only Joey, AJ, and Lance know what they want to major in. 

Oh really, Lynne sat back in the chair, looking at him. What is Joey going to do? 

Education, Justin smiled. Surprisingly. He even got accepted in the education program at FSU. He wants to be a music teacher. 

Lynne actually smiled at that. I never would have suspected Joey to go into education. 

I dont think any of us were prepared for that announcement. You should have seen the confused look on his dads face. 

Lynne was still smiling, nodding a little at that. How are Joe and Phyllis? 

Good, Justin nodded. Theyre really good. Same old, same old really. Theyre still trying to get Janine to move out permanently. Steve keeps telling them that hes going to start college again in the fall too. Neither of them are holding their breath. 

I thought Janine was living with her fiancée? 

She is, Justin crossed his legs, resting his hand on his ankle. Most of the time. But she still comes home all the time. At least 2 or 3 nights a week. 

Id imagine Joe and Phyllis are ready to get all of them out of the house, Lynne picked up the envelope again. Theyve been doing this for almost 25 years now. 

Imagine how the Agulerias are going to feel by the time Maggie moves out? Justin laughed a little. Theyre never going to be alone. 

Lynne looked down at her hands, unable to look at Justin any longer. Its not easy having an empty house, she finally said before looking up. You should probably go, Justin. 

Oh, Justin said sadly. Okay. He stood up, reaching into his pocket again, pulling out a picture. I know you probably dont want this because Im touching Lance in it but I saw you looking while we were taking them. 

Justin set the picture on the coffeetable face up. I really hope you come to graduation, Mom. Ill see you around. 

Lynne picked up the picture after he shut the door, looking at it for a moment before putting it in the envelope that had the tickets in it. She looked at the envelope before dropping it in the trashcan.   
  

* * *

She let me in the house and everything, Justin said happily, reaching across the table to grab the green beans. I couldnt believe it. 

Thats definitely good news, Justin, Chris said. Can you pass me the bread, Mom? 

Beverly nodded, passing the bread down to him. She, Taylor, and Emily had come over for dinner tonight. Usually either they came over or the three of them went over there for dinner once a week. Another night was always set aside for Joshs family. Justin had kind of grown to like these nights with the families. He felt accepted by them. 

Does your mom think its okay that you kiss boys now? asked Taylor before taking a big bite of roast beef. 

Beverly tried to hide a smile at the way Taylor put it. The little girl didnt known anything different. She didnt remember a time before Josh was in their lives. 

Not really, Justin said, looking down at his plate. But she did talk to me. So thats a good step. 

Emily patted his back lightly, rubbing in between his shoulder blades before taking another bite of her food. She and Justin had bonded a little the last time they had gone to her house for dinner. Turns out they both were in love with Brad Pitt. It was a good starting point for them to talk. 

Johnny Thomas fell off the swings today at recess, Taylor announced, swinging her legs. There was all kinds of blood and gross stuff everywhere. It was so cool. 

Taylor, Beverly shook her head. No talking about blood at the dinner table. 

Can I talk about it if I dont talk about the blood part? 

Chris snickered and took a bite of his food. Taylor was just like him at that age. He remembered being told countless times not to talk about blood or people getting hurt at the dinner table. 

I think you pretty much told us most of the story already, Beverly reached over and cut up a little more of the roast beef on Taylors plate so she wasnt sawing away at it. Eat your food. 

Taylor took another big bite of the roast beef, pouting a little because she wasnt allowed to talk about blood. 

Oh, Chris said suddenly, putting his fork down. I totally forgot to mention this before now but Danielle is pregnant. She told me a few days ago. 

Beverly smiled happily. Im going to have to call her and congratulate her. I cant believe my little Danis going to be a mother. 

She and Jeremy are thrilled beyond belief. Jeremy is trying to convince her to name the baby Jeremy Adam Mitchell Jr. Shes not about that at all. 

Emily laughed, grabbing another piece of bread. Thats sounds like Jeremy. 

Dani says there is no way shes going to let her son go through life with the initials JAM. Chris grinned. Lord knows Jer should know how not fun that is. I think I teased him about it for years. 

The phone rang and Josh excused himself to answer it, planting a kiss on the top of Chris head before leaving the room. 

Hello? 

Hey Josh, Lance said happily. Can I talk to Justin? 

Were in the middle of dinner. Is it okay if he calls you back or is it really important? 

Oh no. Its cool. I just wanted to see how it went with his mother today. Have him give me a buzz when dinners over. 

Will do, hon. Talk to you later. 

Bye, Josh. 

Josh hung up the phone and walked back into the dining room. Chris, Emily, and Justin were laughing about something. Taylor just looked confused and Beverly was trying her best not to laugh. 

Okay, Josh grinned, sitting down. I definitely missed something here. 

Chris waved his hand, still laughing. Ill fill you in later. Who was on the phone? 

Lance, Josh looked over at Justin. He asked that you call after dinner. 

Justin nodded, taking a drink of his milk. I was going to anyway. His mom is frantically planning the graduation party and is driving him nuts. 

That reminds me, Beverly pointed at Chris with her fork. Whens Justins graduation party? I need to make sure to get off from work that day. 

Oh, Chris squirmed a little, looking over at Josh. Well...we havent exactly told Justin about that yet. 

Oh, Beverly covered her mouth, looking sheepishly over at Justin. Sorry, hon. 

Justin looked at them, his brow furrowed. Uh. Whats going on? 

Emily touched his shoulder lightly. They were going to do a duel thing for you and me since were both graduating but I vetoed that idea. I said it would be too crazy if we had all of my friends and all of your friends in one place at the same time. So theyre doing them separately instead. Plus youre graduating before me. 

Oh whoa, Justin flushed a little. You guys dont have to do that. Its not a big deal. 

Oh hush, Beverly smiled at him. Graduation parties are fun. Youre having one and thats final. Just tell me what I need to do, Chris. 

Justin flushed an even deeper red. He took a bite of green beans, chewing quickly. Thanks. He mumbled through his food, embarrassed that they were doing that for him, but extremely touched at the same time.   
    


* * *

Justin lay across the bed, the phone up against his ear. Chris family had gone home about half an hour ago. The three of them had cleaned up before he called Lance. 

So you did manage to talk her out of getting it catered? 

Lance nodded, lying across his own bed as he talked. She said that it was probably a good idea not to do that. I mean, its going to end up that its Christina and Joeys party as well since we all live next to each other. So Momma Fatone is going to be cooking too. There will be plenty of food. 

Justin chewed on the inside of his cheek. It would have been mine too. If all this didnt happen. 

I know, hon, Lance sighed a little. It can be your party too. 

Actually, Justin smiled. Im having one. Chris and Josh are throwing it. I had no idea they were going to do that. And Chris mom is helping out. Im totally surprised about that. I didnt expect it at all. 

Thats so cool, Lance said, rolling over onto his stomach. Hey. Can I come over? 

Justin chuckled. And why do you want to come over, Mr. Bass? 

Lance blushed a little. Um. To. Talk. Yeah, talk. Thats it. 

Justin full out laughed. Yeah. Of course you can come over. Want to spend the night? 

Way ahead of you, Lance said, sitting up. I already asked Mom and Dad. All I had to do was promise that we would make it to school tomorrow. I told them that it wasnt a problem. Joshll drag us out of bed in plenty of time. 

Then get over here, Justin grinned. Ill tell Chris and Josh youre coming over, he looked over at the clock. I expect you to be naked in my bed in half an hour. 

Lance looked over at his clock. I can do that. 

I love you, Justin laughed. See you in a little bit. 

Bye, hon. Lance hung up the phone and jumped up, moving quickly. 

Justin put the phone back on the bedside table and reached down, adjusting himself indelicately. There was no way he was going downstairs with this obvious an erection. 

Justin walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Josh was sitting on the counter, with Chris in between his legs. Chris shirt was unbuttoned and Josh was licking his neck. 

Guys, Justin laughed. What is with you and the kitchen? 

Josh pulled back quickly, blushing. Chris just turned a little and grinned. What time is Lance coming over and is he spending the night? 

Justin chuckled. In a few minutes and yes hes spending the night. Continue. Ill wait for him in the living room and then well stay out of your hair all evening. I promise. Enjoy your kitchen. 

Ill wake you guys at 6, Josh said through a kiss. See you tomorrow. 

Justin just laughed as he walked out of the kitchen.   
  
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	49. Chapter Forty-Eight

Three more days, Joey groaned, resting his head on the desk. Three more days. 

Is it over yet? Justin asked, looking at Christina hopefully. She shook her head and looked back down at her book. 

Howie put his hand over the notebook. You cant study anymore, Chrissy. You know this stuff. Just relax. 

I have to get an A, Christina pushed Howies hand away. You wouldnt understand. And dont call me Chrissy. 

Usted entiende cada palabra que esté diciendo a usted ahora? Howie asked her, looking at her face. 

Christina sighed softly. Si, pero yo todavia tienen que conseguir un A. Que es importante. 

Dude, Joey leaned over to Justin. What did they say? 

I have no idea, Justin admitted. Thats not going to be on the test is it? 

Howie laughed and shook his head. I would bet that its not. We havent learned half of it. Im just trying to prove to Christina that she knows this stuff inside out. 

Just let me study, Christina said through gritted teeth, glaring at him. Joey put his hand on Howies shoulder, shaking his head silently. Sometimes it was just better to let Christina go. 

Howie sat back and sighed, shrugging a little. I hate finals. Thank God Ill never have to take them again. 

College, man, Joey chuckled. You still have to take them. 

Let me live in my little fantasy for a little longer, Howie shook his head. Please. I have to hold onto something. 

How do you conjugate to march? asked Justin, looking at his notebook. 

Christina looked up from her book. Marcho, marchas, marcha, marchamos, marchan. Do you need the present perfect too? 

Uh... Justin looked down at his book. No? 

Joey snickered and elbowed Howie. Was she right, man? 

Christina glared at Joey before looking down at her notebook. Yeah she was right, Howie said. She knows her Spanish. 

See, Joey poked Christina. Puerto Rican boy says you know your Spanish. Hes fluent. Relax, babe. 

Dont touch me. 

Joey backed off. Justin and Howie turned away, looking back down at their books. She was definitely not in a mood to be messed with right now.   
    


* * *

Sorry about earlier, Christina said, taking a bite of her peanut butter sandwich. Ive just been stressed lately. 

Dont worry about, Howie said, patting her arm. Were all a little stressed right now. 

Christina sighed, leaning her head against Howies shoulder. I dont want it to end. Im not ready for it to end. 

Howie wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing the top of her hair. Its not an end, Chrissy. Its just a different chapter in our lives. Its still the same book its always been only weve got more writers now. 

Christina sniffed a little. I dont know what Im going to do when you arent here to do this for me, Howie. 

Easy, Howie smiled. Youre going to pick up the phone and call me. Its that simple. You can get the Howie D. wisdom for the price of a phone call. You dont even have to buy me lunch. 

Christina laughed, wiping her eyes on her napkin. Thank you, Howie. 

Howie poked her cupcake. You gonna eat that?   
    
Nope, Christina passed it to him. Its all yours. You better eat it before the others get back from their football game and Joey asks for it.   
    
Howie nodded and shoved the cupcake in his mouth whole, chewing messily. Christina just laughed and looked back at the others who were playing football. Even Britney was playing, chasing after AJ at the moment. She leapt on his back in a vain attempt to tackle him.   
    
Hey sexy, Justin laughed, grabbing Lance around the waist and pulling him down to the ground. He straddled him, kissing his nose. Youve been tackled.   
    
Hey, hey, Drew shouted as he ran by. No kissy-face on the football field. Save that for later.   
    
Lance laughed and pushed on Justins chest. Youre distracting me. Not fair.   
    
Chris came up behind them and grabbed the back of Justins shirt, pulling him up. No fair distracting the guys on my team.   
    
Justin yelped in surprise. Ooh! Ill get you for that, Kirkpatrick. Chris just laughed and ran down the football field with Justin chasing after him.   
    
    


* * *

Justin looked at his locker for a moment, at the pictures taped up inside. Britney was a few lockers away, looking at hers as well.   
    
I guess we just have to do it, she said, pulling the trashcan between them. You start.   
    
Justin sighed and reached for a picture of Michael Jordan, ripping it off and dropping it in the trashcan.   
    
Ouch, he winced a little. Michaels been up since freshman year.   
    
Britney crumpled up a picture of Madonna, tossing it in the trash as well. I cant believe that we have to give our lockers up.   
    
Well, Justin knelt down and started cleaning out the crumpled up papers from the bottom of the locker. Its not like we can take them with us.   
    
I know, she sighed softly. Its just that its been my locker for four years now. I dont want anyone else to put their stuff in it. I mean, the pink ribbon from the flowers you gave me when we went to the Christmas Cotillion freshman year is still tied around the hook inside.   
    
Justin got up and walked over, looking at that. Britneys locker was like a shrine to their relationship and her friends. Her books took up on a small part. The rest was for pictures, and objects that meant something to her.   
    
I remember that, Justin reached out and touched a picture of Britney, Joey, Christina, Lance, and himself dressed in bathing suits. They were probably twelve at the most. That was right after my dad moved to Tennessee and you guys came to visit me for a week during summer vacation.   
    
Are you going to Tennessee like usual over summer vacation this year?   
    
Justin shrugged, peeling pictures off for her. I dont really know. Probably for a little bit. Im planning on working most of the summer. I already have my job at the video store lined up again.   
    
Justin! Joey shouted from down the hall. You got a small box?   
    
Lemme check, Justin went back over to his locker, digging around the bottom. Nope. See if Lance has one.   
    
Joey turned in the other direction and shouted Lances name. Lance peered around the corner.   
    
What?   
    
You got a small box?   
    
Nope. Lance stretched a little. Want me to see if Chrissy has one?   
    
Yeah, Joey looked back in his locker. Thanks, Lance.   
    
What do you need a box for? asked Britney, making a small pile with the pictures.   
    
Meatball, Joey said. I cant just leave him here to starve over the summer. Whats he going to do without me feeding him everyday? Im going to take him home. He can live in our dorm room next year.   
    
Lance poked his head around the corner again. Im not having that mouse live with us. 

But Meatball loves you, Lance, Joey held the small mouse out towards Lance. It squeaked loudly. Come on. You know you love Meatball.   
    
Its a mouse, Joey. I dont have any real feelings for the mouse except that I really dont want him living in our room next year, Lance shook his head. And Chrissy doesnt have a box.   
    
Chris stuck his head out of his classroom. I have a box. Will you guys stop shouting down the hall if I give it to you?   
    
Joey turned and walked over to Chris. You love Meatball, right?   
    
Chris backed away. Keep that rat away from me.   
    
Hes afraid of small, furry animals, Joey, Justin said, dropping what looked to be an old banana in the trash. Better not get too close with Meatball.   
    
Gee thanks, Justin, Chris pouted, handing the box to Joey while trying to stay as far away from the mouse as he could. Tell the whole world Im afraid of mice and rats.   
    
Dont forget hamsters and gerbils. Justin grinned at him.   
    
You are so walking home, Mister. Chris stuck his tongue out at Justin before going back into his classroom.   
    


* * *

Did you grade mine yet? asked Justin, poking his head into the dining room for the 3rd time in about fifteen minutes.   
    
Chris looked up again. Justin. When I grade yours, Ill tell you. I promise. 

Justin sat down at the dining room table, propping his head up on his fists and just looked at Chris. 

Justin, Chris sighed, finally looking back over at him. He put his pen down and folded his hands on top of the papers. Ill grade yours next, okay. 

Thank you. Justin hugged him tightly before jumping up and running back into the play room where Josh was at. 

Hes grading mine next, Justin grinned, sitting back down next to Josh and picking up his controller again. You were right. Staring at him worked. 

Josh leaned to the side as he attempted to take a turn too sharply. Yeah. Chris cant handle it when you just sit there and look at him. It works really well when Im trying to get him to do housework or something like that. 

I bet it works for sex too. 

Josh grinned and ran his motorcycle into Justins pushing him off the road. I never have to worry about that. Chris is always ready for sex. 

Justin wrinkled his nose a little. Man, every so often when we talk about stuff like this I remember hes my teacher and its just wrong. 

Josh laughed at that. If it makes you feel better he has moments like that as well. Like when you and Lance are having sex. He turns so red sometimes. 

Seriously? 

Josh nodded. Seriously. Hell just sit there and blush when he realizes thats whats going on. He just kind of remembers that you and Lance are his students for a moment and its just weird for him. He looked at Justin. I thankfully dont have that problem. 

Well in two days, we wont be his students anymore, Justin jumped another fallen biker. That sounds so weird. I cant believe that we all graduate in two days. 

Are you ready for it? 

Justin nodded but shrugged at the same time. Yes and no. I want to see if closing out this chapter of my life changes things. Especially after this last year, Im ready to see what else is out there. Im tired of having people I dont really know question who I am and how I feel about Lance. Im tired of being the guy who got kicked out of his house and lives with one of the teachers. I guess I want to see what its like to just be Justin again. 

Josh hit pause on the game and turned to face Justin. Honestly, how tough has it been for you at school? 

Justin looked at him, his eyes drifting up to Joshs hairline without thinking, looking for the scar that was hidden by the thick, brown hair. Its gotten better since I fought back. They dont say anything to my face anymore and no one has tried to do anything to Lance which ultimately is what I wanted. I can take it. I just didnt want him to have to deal with it. 

Josh reached up and scratched his head, hiding the spot where the scar would be until Justin averted his eyes. 

You have some really good friends, Justin, Josh said it softly, a pained look in his eyes. Youre very lucky to have them. 

I am and I know it, Justin reached over, brushed his fingers against Joshs hair, letting him know that he understood. And Im very lucky that I have you and Chris as well. 

When we first talked about this, Josh didnt flinch when Justin touched him. We fought like hell. Chris brought it up, saying that it was really the only thing we could do. I slammed the bedroom door in his face and made him sleep on the couch. About an hour later though, I came out of the bedroom and we stayed up all night playing video games and talking about it. We made the right decision, Justin. I know that we did. 

I meant it when I said that you guys are my family, said Justin, his voice almost a whisper. Because you have been. Both of you have been so important to me. Youve been parents, friends, teachers. Everything. I like knowing that I can always come home to you and Chris. 

Josh smiled and hugged him tightly. The question is who gets you in the custody agreement if Chris and I ever break up. 

Justin snorted and pulled back, looking at him. Like thatll ever happen. If youve put up with each other this long, youll be able to put up with each other forever. 

Oh I know, Josh laughed, picking up the controller again. Like I would have it any other way. 

You cant get enough of me, Chris said from the doorway. Im everything youve ever wanted. 

Did you grade mine? asked Justin excitedly. 

Chris laughed and nodded. Yes, I graded yours. You got a B minus. 

Yes! Justin hugged Josh tightly before jumping up to hug Chris. What did Lance get? 

Oh so I was supposed to grade Lances too? Chris shook his head. You gotta tell me this things. 

Josh laughed, shaking his head at Justins pout. Chris crumbled easily, pushing Justin towards the dining room. 

They both are on the table. Call him and tell him what he got.   
  
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	50. Chapter Forty-Nine

Relax, Chris said, putting his hand on Justins shoulder, sitting him down. Youre making me all jittery bouncing around like that. 

Sorry, Justin sighed, craning his neck to see out the windows of the airport. Im just really anxious to see them. Its been months since Ive seen my brothers. 

Their flights on time, Chris looked at the board again. Just a few more minutes, Justin. 

Josh wandered back over holding a bottle of water. This thing was freaking four bucks. He handed it to Chris, looking out the window as well. Are they here yet? 

I just convinced Justin that he didnt need to ask every five seconds, Josh, Chris sighed and took a drink of the water. You are no help. 

Am so, Josh smiled sweetly. I paid four bucks so you could have some water. 

Very true, Chris kissed him lightly. Thank you. 

Theres the plane! Justin jumped up and ran to the window. See. Its pulling to the gate. 

Josh grabbed Chris hand, pulling him along as well. He was almost as excited as Justin about getting to meet the rest of his family. 

Justin bounced nervously on the balls of his feet, chewing on his nails. Chris put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. He knew that Justins nervousness was partially because he wasnt sure how Lisa and his grandparents were going to react. 

They all watched rather impatiently, Justin bouncing again, as people got off the plane. 

Why arent they getting off the plane? whined Justin, standing on his tiptoes to see over the crowd in front of him. 

Justin! A small boy came flying through the crowd and launched himself at Justin who caught him easily, hugging him tightly. 

"Jonathon! A woman called out frantically, looking around for him. 

Hey Lisa! Justin waved, lifting one hand from Jonathons back. Hes over here. 

Lisa came over, smiling warmly at him. Hey, honey, she kissed his cheek and tapped Jonathon on the shoulder. What did I tell you about running off like that? 

Sorry Mom, Jonathon said, turning his head to rest it on Justins shoulder. I wont do it again. 

Lisa shook her head but smiled again. She put her arm around Justins shoulders, squeezing them. 

You look great, honey. 

Thanks, Justin put Jonathon down and gave her a warm hug. Its great to see you. 

Heres where they ran off too, Randall said, coming up behind Chris and Josh. He was carrying Steven and a diaper bag. Next to him were Justins grandparents. Jonathon took off like a shot once he was off the plane. 

Well he found us, Justin took Steven from his father, hugging him tightly. Hey, kiddo. 

Steven hugged him back tightly. Hi Justin. 

When did you start talking so well? Justin asked, tickling him a little. Last time we talked you couldnt say my name right. 

Steven shrugged and squirmed in Justins arms, holding his hands out to Lisa. Justin handed him back. 

Come here! Justins grandmother pulled him into a hug, smiling happily. Hows my baby boy doing? 

Im good, Gram, Justin hugged her back tightly. Im so glad you guys came. 

We wouldnt miss your high school graduation for the world, His grandfather clasped Justins shoulder warmly before pulling him into a hug. We missed you, Justin. 

I missed you guys too, Justin hugged him back before pulling away. Hey, Dad. 

Randall grinned and wrapped his arms around Justin. I was thinking youd forgotten me for a moment. 

I could never forget you, Justin closed his eyes for a minute. Thanks, Dad. His voice was a low whisper. 

Youre welcome, Randall said back, his voice just as low. He let go and looked around. There you guys are. 

Randall turned to face Chris and Josh who were hanging back. He held his hand out to Chris first, shaking it firmly before shaking Joshs. Its good to see you both again. 

Good to see you again as well, Randall, Chris grinned back at him, watching as Justin and Jonathon talked happily. How was your flight? 

Well beside the fact that Steven cried most of the way and Jonathon couldnt sit still, it was just fine. Come over and meet everyone since Justins apparently too busy to introduce you both. 

Chris smiled, taking Joshs hand and walking over to where everyone was. Randall put his hand on Lisas side, kissing her cheek softly. 

Let me do this the quick way, Randall said. This is my wife Lisa, our son Steven. Our other son, Jonathon is with Justin. This is my mother, Kitty and my father Ben. He paused for a moment. Everyone pretty much knows who you are. 

Oh, Josh blushed a little, looking at Justins family members. Its really nice to meet all of you. 

Its great to finally get to meet the two of you, Lisa said, shifting Steven to her other hip so she could hug Josh loosely. Randalls told me so much about both of you. Thank you both for everything youve done the past few months. 

We were incredibly upset when we heard what Lynne had done to Justin, Kitty said softly, looking over to make sure Justin was still occupied with Jonathon. All because of his sexuality, she shook her head. Stupidest reason for hating someone Ive ever heard. 

Chris smiled at that. Justin had nothing to worry about apparently. It seemed like Lisa and both his grandparents were on his side all the way. 

Thanks for taking care of our boy. Ben squeezed Chris shoulder warmly. 

Can we go home? asked Justin, dragging Jonathon over with him. I want to show Jon my room. 

Chris chuckled a little and nodded. Yeah. Why dont you guys go get the luggage. Ill bring the van around.   
    
  

* * *

  
Chris handed Lisa a cup of tea before sitting down on the arm of the chair Josh was sitting in. Justin and Jonathon were off somewhere most likely wrecking havoc. The two of them were apparently one hell of a team when they got together as Josh had found out while opening the closet to get extra sheets and instead got a face full of silly string from Jonathon who was hiding in the closet. Justin had been hiding in the bathroom and he had giggled uncontrollably giving away his hiding spot. Josh just laughed and tackled Justin and tickled him much to Jonathons amusement. 

Steven was in bed but everyone else was sitting around the living room talking and just getting to know each other. Lisa and Kitty were cooing over prom pictures of Lance and Justin as well as Justins senior pictures. 

Lance grew up to be such a handsome boy, Lisa said, handing a picture over to Randall so he could see. Randall leaned forward to take it. I can see why Justin likes him so much. 

Its been years since youve seen him, Randall said, taking another drink of his beer. Hes going to look a lot different now then he did when he was twelve. 

Lisa rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him which made him chuckle. He looked over at Chris and Josh. 

My wife is really five at heart. 

There was a loud crash from somewhere in the house then silence for a long moment. 

Mommy!! Jonathon hollered loudly. 

Lisa groaned and stood up. Anything he broke well replace. I promise. 

You might just want to start a list, said Randall apologetically. Jon is... he looked at Lisa, trying to think of the right word. Rambunctious. 

My youngest sister is seven, Chris smiled. Say no more. Believe me, we understand rambunctious. 

The only breakable stuff we even have anymore is in the china cabinet, Josh added in. And if he broke that its okay. None of its real. 

Well do our best to keep him away from it anyway, Lisa headed out of the room in search of Jonathon and Justin. 

Does he have any exams tomorrow? asked Randall, moving to sit next to his mother so he could look at the pictures. 

Yeah, Chris put his arm around Joshs shoulder, leaning against him a little more. Hes got English and Music, I think. 

Josh nodded. Thats what he has. His exam schedule is on the board in the kitchen. 

I know that theres the senior picnic tomorrow afternoon once exams are over because I have to be there. Then the graduation is at 6. Chris knew there was more but without the schedule in front of him, he wouldnt be able to remember. 

And the Agulerias are having a get-together after the graduation. Josh finished for him.   
    
So it sounds like tomorrow is going to be a busy day, Randall crossed his legs, resting his hand on one ankle. I have to go talk to Lynne at some point. We need to discuss a few things.   
    
Youll have plenty of time to do that, Chris said to him. Justin and I wont be back here until 2. Josh will be home though. He took tomorrow off.   
    
Lisa came back into the room with Jonathon and Justin in tow. Apologize. Both of you.   
    
Justin scuffed his feet, looking down at the floor. Jonathon had pretty much the same expression on his face. 

Lisa nudged Jonathon, making him shuffle on his feet. Sorry, he mumbled, shooting a look at Justin. We...um...   
    
We broke the lamp in the den, Justin blurted out. Im sorry. Ill replace it.   
    
How did you break the lamp? asked Josh, trying not to smile. The lamp wasnt really important. 

We were... Justin sighed, looking at Chris and Josh finally. We were wrestling and I kinda threw Jonathon into it.   
    
Well is Jonathon okay? Randall sighed, shaking his head.   
    
Im okay, Jonathon said quickly. But the lamp...well...its not okay.   
    
Cmon, Chris got up. The two of you get to clean it up. Itll be fun.   
    
Justin and Jonathon followed Chris out of the living room. Justin sidled up to him, smiling sheepishly.   
    
We got a little carried away, he admitted. Well calm down. I promise.   
    
Its cool, Chris grinned at him. You two havent seen each other in awhile. Just try not to break anything else. We have a huge backyard. Take advantage of it.   
    
Jonathon looked up at Chris as they walked towards the den. Chris raised his eyebrow and looked back at him.   
    
Justin said you take care of him, Jonathon looked back over at Justin for a moment. Are you and Josh married?   
    
Well no, Chris said, wincing a little when he saw the mess in the den. Were not married. Why?   
    
I was just wondering. Jonathon slipped his hand into Justins hiding a little behind him. Justin squeezed his hand reassuringly.   
    
Lets get to work, Chris sighed, picking up a big hunk of the lamp. I bought this lamp for fifty cents when I was 21. Wed just moved into the apartment and we needed to decorate. Danielle loved this thing.   
    
Im really sorry, Chris, Justin said to him, picking up the pieces as well. We didnt mean it.   
    
Whos Danielle? Jonathon picked up one piece, looking at it carefully.   
    
My best friend, Chris smiled at him. We lived together during college and afterwards for awhile.   
    
Thats cool, Jonathon put the piece he was holding in the trash. Im going to live with my best friend Tim when were older. Its okay to do that because Daddy said that Justin likes boys so he shouldnt mind that I live with one.   
    
Justin looked down at the ground for a second before sitting back and looking at Jonathon again.   
    
What did Dad tell you about me?   
    
We talked about what it meant to be gay, Jonathon didnt look at Justin as he talked. He told me that no matter what anyone says about you, youre still the same person you were before we found out about this and that theres nothing wrong with you. He told me that youre still my brother and that you love me a lot, Jonathon looked at him now. And he told me that you have a boyfriend.   
    
Chris kept cleaning up, letting the two of them talk about this. He would only comment if it was necessary.   
    
Do you want to ask me anything about it?   
    
Jonathon chewed on his lip and then nodded slowly. Since you like boys and were brothers, does that mean Im going to like boys and not girls too?   
    
Oh, Justin bit down on his lip hard, looking over at Chris. No. Just because were brothers doesnt mean that youre going to be gay too. If you are though, theres nothing wrong with it but its not something that has to happen.   
    
Okay, Jonathon toyed with the hem of his T-shirt. Because I like girls. Even though they have cooties and stuff.   
    
Do you have a girlfriend? asked Chris.   
    
Jonathon blushed a little but shook his head, his nose wrinkling. No. But I did kiss a girl before. My friend Becky. We wanted to try it so we kissed each other.   
    
Justin smiled at that. I know Becky. Shes cute.   
    
Yeah, Jonathon nodded. But shes a girl.   
    
Both Chris and Justin laughed at that, understanding completely.   
  

* * *

Justin poured himself a cup of coffee, setting the pot back on the burner. He moved automatically, not thinking as he poured sugar and half and half in it. He took a sip then went to get his cereal.   
    
Morning, Justin.   
    
Justin jumped, spinning around in surprise. He smiled and shook his head a little. Morning Grampa.   
    
Ben grinned into his coffee. Good to know I can still surprise you. Gonna have a little coffee with your sugar and cream?   
    
Justin looked at his mug and shrugged. I got hooked on drinking it this way. Its all Lances fault. And Josh just encourages it.   
    
Well, Ill let you in on a little secret, Ben tipped his mug a little so Justin could see it. Thats how I drink it too.   
    
Justin grinned, setting his mug on the table. Want cereal?   
    
Nah. All I want in the morning is coffee, Ben watched as Justin got himself a big bowl, leaving the box on the table next to him. Are you ready for your exams today?   
    
Justin nodded through a mouthful, swallowing before talking. Yeah. English is always easy. Basically write an essay on something I read and answer some multiple choice questions. And music, he snorted a little. Sing a song. I can do that in my sleep.   
    
So that was you singing last night, Ben smirked. I thought I heard something that sounded like a cat dying.   
    
Gram married you why?   
    
My sparkling personality, Ben reached for a napkin and handed it to Justin. Youve got milk dribbling down your chin. How old are you again?   
    
18, Justin wiped his face off. Its early. Im not awake yet. I need at least two bowls of cereal to be able to think. And Im still not really awake until after I shower.   
    
How about pretending to be awake? I dont think you and I are going to get time alone again while were here.   
    
Justin took a drink of his coffee, trying to clear the fog in his brain. His grandfather obviously wanted to talk about something. He didnt really have to think hard about what it was. 

Im guessing you want to talk about...well, you know.   
    
Ben nodded, taking a drink of his coffee. I would like to talk about you being gay if thats okay with you.   
    
Justin looked down at his cereal, taking another bite before nodding. You can ask me pretty much anything. I want you guys to understand.   
    
Im a little uncomfortable with the idea, Ben admitted. But youre my grandson and I want to understand why you are this way. I dont think this is any reason to hate you.   
    
There really isnt a reason why, Justin looked at him while he talked. Hed had this conversation with his father at this point. Its just who I am. Being gay isnt a choice. Im really glad that you dont hate me because of that. I have enough people who hate me because of it.   
    
Your mother definitely did the wrong thing when she kicked you out. But shes never been the most rational person Ive known.   
    
Justin sighed but nodded. He was used to hearing his fathers side of the family say unkind things about his mother. Of course, the same came from his mothers side of the family as well.   
    
She has her morals and values and I just didnt fit into them, Justin shrugged, taking another sip of coffee. I dont hate her anymore. I feel sorry for her because she cant look past her prejudices. 

That a very mature way of looking at this, Ben looked at him, a little surprised by it. I didnt expect that.   
    
Well, I didnt deal with it well at first. Sometimes, I still dont deal with it well. I guess...I dont want this to ruin my life. I have a good thing right now with Chris and Josh. I have two people who care about me a lot and treat me like Im family. I still have most of my family even if you guys are far away. And Ive got Lance. I cant let her ruin my life.   
    
Arent you the same Justin who whined about who got the front seat over Christmas break? Ben smiled at him. God, youve grown up so much the past few months.   
    
Ive had to, Justin looked at him, his face serious. I dont really have much of a choice anymore. Ive had a lot of things happen to me that have forced me to act like an adult no matter how much I dont want to.   
    
Ben reached over, clasping Justins wrist firmly. I am so proud of you, Justin. I am honoured that I get to be your grandfather.   
    
Justin leaned over and hugged him tightly, comforted by the strong arms that circled his back and hugged him just as tightly. Having his grandfathers approval was a huge weight off his shoulders.   
    
Okay, Ben sat back. Youre a man now, Justin. Today you are ending one part of your life so you can start another. Its a very important day.   
    
Ben reached into the pocket of his robe. Its tradition that this is passed on when the oldest grandson gets married but, he shrugged. Today seems like a good day to me. He left off the since you wont be getting married now part much to Justins relief.   
    
Justin wrinkled his brow but waited patiently. Ben opened his hand and lying on his palm was a ring. Justins eyes widened when he saw it.   
    
But...thats yours.   
    
It was given to me when I got married by my grandfather. And he got it from his grandfather when he got married, Ben put the ring in Justins hand. Its yours now. Someday you will give it to your oldest grandson when he gets married.   
    
Justin slipped the thick, heavy ring onto his right ring finger. It fit perfectly and he looked at the wide silver band with the deep etchings in it.   
    
Thank you, he whispered, looking up at his grandfather. Thank you so much.   
    
Chris walked into the kitchen in his bathrobe and bunny slippers. He took one look at Ben and Justin and turned right around, walking back out.   
    
Ben laughed, turning in his chair. You can come in, Chris.   
    
Chris poked his head back into the kitchen. I dont want to interrupt anything. I can go get dressed before I have breakfast. Its cool.   
    
Ben stood up. Im actually going to go climb back into bed for a little bit. Ive had my morning coffee. Its time for a nap before I really get up for the day.   
    
Chris walked back into the kitchen, looking at Justin who was still staring at the ring on his finger.   
    
Okay. Ill see you later this afternoon.   
    
Ben patted Chris shoulder before walking out of the room. Chris headed over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup before saying anything else.   
    
Everything okay?   
    
Justin nodded dumbly, just holding up the hand with the ring on it. Chris leaned over and looked at it.   
    
Nice. It looks old.   
    
It is, said Justin softly. It was my great-great-great-great grandfathers. Grampa just gave it to me.   
    
Chris sat down next to him, smiling softly. He put one arm around Justins shoulders, squeezing gently.   
    
Youve got a great family, Justin.   
    
Justin looked at him and smiled. Yeah I do, he looked at the ring again. Yeah I do.   
    
  
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	51. Chapter Fifty

I dont think we can all fit in here anymore, Joey said, squeezing behind Christina, practically pulling her onto his lap. Especially me. Im big and fat.   
    
We can do it, Justin said, squishing closer to Lance so Britney could climb in as well. See. We all fit.   
    
I cant believe we do, Britney squirmed a little, finally giving up and throwing one leg across Christinas lap. We havent come here in ages.   
    
Its fitting though, Joey closed his eyes, resting his head against the back of the tree. Its where we all promised to be best friends forever back in third grade.   
    
None of them spoke after Joey said that. They were in a small tree house that they had found years before in the woods by their houses. This had been their place until they had all gotten too big to fit in it at the same time.   
    
Lance reached out and ran his hand over the carvings in the wood. All of their initials were there. JRT, JAF, CMA, JLB, and BJS. On Joeys thirteenth birthday, he had been given a Swiss Army knife by one of his uncles. After the party, the five of them had snuck out of the house to go to the tree house and he had carved their initials into it. That way we can together forever, he had said.   
    
Remember when I stole a bottle of whiskey from my dads liquor cabinet, Britney said, breaking the silence. And we all drank it together up here?   
    
Lance puked all over the place, Justin grinned, resting his head on Lances shoulder. God we were what, 10 then? 

I think everything illegal that we do started up here, Joey said, running his hand through Christinas hair. We drank up here first, smoked cigarettes up here first, smoked pot up here first. I got my first blowjob up here but thats not illegal.   
    
You did? Justin tried to turn to look at him and Christina but he couldnt. I didnt know that.   
    
Christina didnt even blush. Yeah. You guys were doing something somewhere. I wanted to try it and so did Joey so we came here.   
    
She bit me. Joey laughed, kissing her hair.   
    
Christina laughed as well, tilting her head up to kiss him. Yeah but I got better.   
    
I think all of us have had sex up here at some point, Britney looked around at all of them. I know that I have.   
    
And that obviously means that Justin has as well, Joey said, looking at him. Justin nodded in confirmation. So Lance. Did you have sex up here?   
    
Lance nodded, laughing a little. Me and Vince used to fool around up here all the time. It was the perfect place to make out and not be bothered.   
    
Lets make a pact, Christina said, trying to sit up a little more. Every year, well come back here no matter what.   
    
Do you think well all be able to fit? joked Joey.   
    
Somehow, Lance laughed, struggling to turn. But yeah. Lets do that. We need us time.   
    
Im in, Britney said, scooting back a little more, her legs spreading further so they can all fit. Im not going anywhere.   
    
So were all in, Justin smiled, wrapping his arms around Lance tightly. Next year. Same time, same place. Just the five of us.   
    
I can see up your dress, Lance poked Britney in the side.   
    
Then I guess its a good thing Im wearing underwear.   
  

* * *

 Chris reached up and straightened Justins cap. Justin smiled at him, taking a deep breath.   
    
Thanks.   
    
Anytime, kid, Chris pulled him into a tight hug. See you on the other side.   
    
Justin licked his lips and nodded, watching Chris leave wearing his robe and cap like all the other teachers.   
    
Ready? asked Joey, looking at him.   
    
 Do I have any choice in the matter? asked Justin, looking around at all the other members of their class lining up to go outside.   
    
Nope, Joey rested his hand on Justins shoulder, taking a shaky breath himself. Here goes nothing.   
  

* * *

Justin looked over that the girl walking next to him, Marie Stevens. She smiled back at him as they walked. Pomp and Circumstance was playing loudly as they all walked slowly towards the seats on the football field. The stands were filled with families and friends. He scanned the crowd for his family but he couldnt find them.   
    
Christina was already at her seat, standing and waiting for the rest of the class. The people in the top ten always walked first. Justin smiled at her and at Lance who was at the end of the row. Lance winked back at him and mouthed I love you as Justin passed by.   
    
Pomp and Circumstances ended and then they were all seated. Justin barely even heard what was being said and the next thing he knew Christina was walking up to the podium to give her valedictory speech.   
    
Welcome staff, students, family, and graduates of the class of 2000. When I was asked to give this speech, I didnt know where to start. So I asked the people in my life to help me out. Joey told me to write from my heart and thats what I did. So I wrote about them. 

Friends: people who share in the good and bad times and lend a shoulder to lean on. They are the basis in which memories are created and everlasting bonds are tied. To cheer someone when they are blue, to help them through tough times, to understand, to push them beyond their limits and to make them understand what life is all about is what a friend, a soul mate, is willing to do for another friend. 

When I look back on all the good, bad, high and low times over the past four years, I realize that my friends have always been present. Whether it was through a simple note, phone call or a comforting hug, my friends pulled me through, no matter what. Together, we have fought for our place in high school. 

As freshmen, we struggled to fit in at the bottom of the rank and attempted to earn the respect we deserved. We dared to be bold and make new friends. 

Sophomore year was the time to tie the new friends to the old friends. Introductions were made and circles were started to be formed. 

Junior year was spent getting re-acquainted with old friends and realizing who your good friends really were. It was the time to create that close-knit group of friends that will be present for years to come. 

Senior year was focused on savoring the last moments with your close friends and creating memories of a lifetime. Friendship ties are knotted. The thought in all of our minds is, "Will we survive the test of time?" 

Friends have always been a part of my life that I could never live without. I truly believe that they are a major source of my motivation and my will to carry on in life. 

Remember, in the years to come, if you ever need someone to make you laugh when you are sad, make you smile when you are crying, tell you the brutal, honest truth or help you see your dreams come true; your friends will always be there. I wish you all, my fellow graduates, a future full of cherished friendships. 

The crowd clapped and Joey whistled loudly, calling out Christinas name. She turned and blew him a kiss before walking away from the podium and returning to her seat. 

Justin looked out on the crowd, squinting to see. He finally spotted Jonathon waving to him frantically from the crowd. Justin grinned and waved back, not caring if he wasnt supposed to. What were they going to do, not let him graduate? 

Nick leaned forward and put his hand on Justins shoulder. I love you, man. I just wanted to tell you that. 

Justin turned in his seat to look at Nick, smiling at him. I love you too. Thanks for everything the past few months. 

Nick nodded. Id do it all again too. 

Lance turned and smiled at him for a moment before looking back forward. Justin grinned   
happily, looking out into the crowd again. He caught a familiar face and just smiled, giving a small wave.   
    


* * *

Principle Greene stood at the podium, leaning closer to the microphone. Now we will announce the graduates of the class of 2000. 

Christina Maria Aguleria....James Lance Bass....Nicholas Gene Carter....Howard Dwaine Dorough....Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr....Justin Paul Jeffre....Andrew John Lachey....Nicholas Scott Lachey....Alexander James McLean....Britney Jean Spears....Justin Randall Timberlake....Jeffery Brandon Timmons.   
    


* * *

Justin found Lance as soon as everything was finished, hats tossed in the air. He wrapped his arms around him tightly, burying his face in Lances neck. 

I love you, baby. Lance whispered, hugging him tightly. 

Justin barely noticed when three other sets of arms came around him as well and they all stood there hugging in the center of the crowd of graduates and family members. 

You did it! Joeys mother grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug, screaming happily in Italian. 

They all pulled away when that happened and family members began grabbing them and hugging them. 

Justin found his father, hugging him fiercely. Randall hugged him back as hard as he could, trying to control his own emotions. 

Justin! Jonathon jumped into his brothers arms, as excited as can be. 

It became a blur of hugging, picture-taking, and kisses. Justin barely noticed what was going on, his eyes pricking with tears and a happy smile on his face. 

Excuse me for a second, Justin said, handing Steven back to his father. He smiled at the rest of his family before heading over to the fence, the smile on his face becoming softer. 

You came. 

Lynne nodded, looking down at her hands. Last minute decision. 

Im really glad that you did, Justin crossed his arms as they stood facing each other. Having you here was important to me. 

Lynne finally looked up at him. Im very proud of you, Justin. 

Thank you, Mom. 

Lynne reached her hand up, tentatively touching his cheek. Justin let her, not moving away or towards her. She brought her other arm up and moved close, hugging him tightly. Justin rested his palms on her back, closing his eyes as they hugged. It had been too long since hed felt that. 

Lynne pulled back, resting her palm against his cheek again. 

I should go. I will see you again soon, Justin. 

Justin nodded, licking his lips before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. Lynne closed her eyes until Justin pulled back. 

See you soon, Mom. 

Justin walked back over to the rest of his family. Lynne watched him for a moment before turning and leaving as well. 

Justin smiled and took Steven back. Lance put his arm around Justins waist, resting his head on his shoulder. 

Everything okay? 

Justin looked around at his friends and family. The sun was shining. People were laughing and crying at the same time. He looked at Lance again and nodded. 

Everythings great.   
  

THE END   
  
---  
  
 

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